CHAPTER 014
I can see you

VANESSA

  ON THE LAST FRIDAY OF FEBRUARY, Tommen College played their rival school, Kilbeg Prep, for the School Boys Shield. Since it was one of the few home games of the season, and a prestigious cup to win, all classes were invited to attend and support. According to Claire, this cup wasn't as nearly as important as the league cup the team would play for in Donegal, but it was still pretty silverware—and Tommen loved their silverware.

  For once in her life, Vanessa agreed with her father. This really was a glorified rugby prep school.

She could probably think of a million other places she'd rather be. There were plenty of things she could do that didn't involve watching oversized boys bulldoze and tackle each other for hours. In all honesty, she didn't see the appeal or hype. Especially in the pouring rain...like seriously? People paid money for this?

Besides her and Shannon, no one else seemed to feel the same skepticism. Everyone seemed so dedicated to this sport, no complaints or care about the weather. Everyone was too busy screaming for the senior rugby team.

Wrapped in a winter coat, Vanessa sat in the middle of Katie and Shannon. Claire and Lizzie were on Shannon's left. Vanessa was fully ready to be bored and freeze to death.

However, ten minutes, and her skepticism toward the game slowly faded away.

  All thanks to one player.

Vanessa got to witness first-hand exactly what the fuss around Johnny Kavanagh was about.

He was nothing like the clumsy rugby player she thought he was when they first met.

She could literally feel the electricity crackling in the air when the ball was in his hands. Judging from the sound of everyone else's screams, they probably heard it too.

Johnny owned the pitch, completely dominating it. Magic happened whenever he touched that ball. Though he was very tall,  he still managed to be light on his feet.

He was broad and muscular, but also light and nimble. He danced around opponents with fancy leg work, and agile movements. He looked so beautiful...

And the way he sprinted? The pace he had was insane.

Watching him was unbelievable.

Was this really the guy who hit her sister with a ball? Was this really the same guy she's been sneaking around with these past two weeks?

Holy shit.

She could see the wheels turning in his brain, deciding what action to execute next. He scoped out each play, attack, and pass with unmatched level of precision. Even when the other team was being sore losers, knocking him down—clearly targetting him—he never lost his cool. Every time he took a hit, he always got right back up on his feet, not letting it bother him.

Vanessa was in absolute awe, like she was in some sort of trance.

Her eyes were glued to number thirteen.

She got it now.

Vanessa understood why everyone and their fathers were so obsessed with this boy. He was clearly going to play in more prestigious fields, beyond just school matches. If he could play like this at seventeen, she could only imagine what his future would hold.

"Go Hughie!" she heard both Katie and Claire cheer, temporarily taking her out of her trance.

  Hughie kicked the ball over the sideline. The ball managed to touch off the rival player's fingers before going out of play.

  "Yes!" Claire hooted, holding a fist in the air. "Good job, guys!"

"What's happening now?" Shannon asked. She was just as unsure as Vanessa was, since Hughie obviously kicked the ball wide.

"Was that good?" Vanessa questioned.

Claire was very invested in the game, considering she'd spent the last fifty minutes rotating between explaining the rules to them and screaming profanities at the top of her lungs. Katie occasionally chimed in, but it was clear she didn't understand as much. Only the jersey number ten caught her attention (though her eyes did gaze to number twelve).

The rules went straight over Vanessa's head. Not even her field hockey or hurling knowledge could compare. Vanessa and Shannon relied on the basics from watching Six Nations to make an attempt at understanding.

"This isn't football, guys," Claire laughed. "That's an excellent play. It's our line out."

"Line out?"

"Watch," she encouraged, then screamed her head off when Tommen's number two, Declan, threw the ball at number seven, Gibsie, who was thrust upward by his teammates and caught the ball midair.

  Maybe if she actually understood the game more, Vanessa could muster up that much enthusiasm.

"Yes!" Claire cheered, clapping proudly. "Go on, Gerard!"

Vanessa had no idea how those two weren't together.

Like seriously, no one called him Gerard except for Claire.

Then the ball came whizzing out the field, straight into Johnny's hands. Vanessa's heart leapt, her pulse speeding up at the sight of him on the move.

"Oh Jesus!" Vanessa winced, clutching Katie's arm when four of Kilbeg's forwards tackled Johnny to the ground, burying him beneath a mountain of muscle and dead weight. "That cannot be legal."

Limbs were flying, and football boots dug into the crumpled-up heap under the ruck.

  "They're going to murder him!" Vanessa watched the scene unfold with wide eyes. "What the fuck?"

  Katie just laughed, patting her arm.

  "Holy shit." Shannon screeched, just as shocked. "That has to be illegal, right?" she squeezed both Vanessa and Claire's arms.

  "Don't ask about it," Lizzie replied with a shrug, flicking through her magazine. "I could think of a million better things I could be doing with my time than sitting here pretending to cheer on a sport I couldn't care less about."

  See, before witnessing all this, Vanessa would've agreed. But now that she saw Johnny play, she couldn't help but be captivated.

  "They're clearly targeting him," Vanessa scoffed frustratedly, gesturing the referee jogging over to the pile of boys.

  "Of course they're targeting him," Claire chimed in. "Johnny is Tommen's best player. Take him out and the game is freed up," she continued to say. "They'd be fools not to try."

"That's horrible," Shannon spoke worriedly.

"That's bullshit." Vanessa huffed, feeling somewhat protective. Playing dirty because they were intimidated by him? Pathetic.

She tried to ignore the overwhelming amount of concern filling her chest. And the fact that a part of her wanted to scream, Leave him alone!

"That's rugby," Claire agreed.

"I hate rugby," Lizzie shrugged.

"No one cares about what you hate, little miss pessimist," Claire shot back. "Go back to your horoscopes."

Claire and Lizzie bickered for the next few minutes. Then Lizzie stomped off, muttering something about needing to save her braincells. Vanessa didn't really pay attention to them.

She was absorbed with the antics on the field. The team medic was fussing over Johnny, poking and prodding his face with gauze and bandages. His black and white striped jersey was sewn to his skin, and his white shorts were grass stained with blood.

  His knees were muddy.

  His hair was ruffled and slick from sweat.

  One of his eyes was turning purple and swelling at a quick pace. There was a steady trail of blood flowing down his eyebrow, but he didn't seem fazed at all.

  Johnny's attention wasn't on the medic or the referee shouting commands in his ear.

  He was too busy staring at her.

  His eyes were glued to Vanessa, unabashedly. There was a mix of heat and intensity in his gaze. For a moment, the whole stadium faded away. The loud crowds became muffled. It was like they were the only two people there.

  Vanessa ignored the way her heart slammed against her ribcage.

  Ugh, why did he make her feel so nervous?

  Breathing hard, he lifted the hem of his jersey, using the fabric to wipe the blood from his brow. It revealed a stomach of hard abs. He waved off the poor woman's attempts at patching him up.

Vanessa schooled her expression, acting completely nonchalant. So what if his chiseled abs were in view? So what if everyone can see them? It's not like Vanessa hasn't seen them before. She tried looking away...but her eyes always found her way back.

  Johnny's gaze never wavered. Though seeing her expressions, and how she tried avoid staring, made the corners of his lips turn upward. Amusement danced in his eyes.

  With his non swollen eye, he managed to wink. A small smirk formed on his lips.

   Kill me now, Vanessa thought to herself.

  She could feel her face heating up, as his smirk widened. It was like he found joy seeing how much he affected her.

  "Fuck you," she mouthed, glaring at him.

"Nessa!" Katie hissed excitedly, gripping her arm. "Johnny's staring at you again!"

"Omigod he is!" Claire gushed happily joining in. "I knew it! He's totally into you! Gerard has been telling me—"

"Shut up, both of you." Vanessa groaned. She saw Shannon giving her a teasing grin. "and don't even start." she narrowed her eyes.

"I didn't say anything!" her sister laughed. "but for the record, you guys would be really cute."

"Hugh told me he took you to the nurse's when you hurt your ankle last week!" Katie recalled with a grin.

"He did?" Claire squealed. "Aww!"

  A part of Vanessa wanted to laugh, amused with the fact no one knew what really happened.

"But you didn't—" Shannon looked confused, but Vanessa gave her a look as if saying, just go with it. "Oh yeah, right..." Shannon went along with it, shooting her curious look.

"Just face it Nessa," Katie teased. "he's eye-fucking you again."

"I thought we agreed never to use that word again." she glared.

"Look at him! It's like he wants to undress—"

"Okay, conversation over!" Vanessa interrupted, as she watched Johnny run back into position as the referee called for a Tommen scrum.

Katie eyed her curiously. Before she could ask any more questions, loud booeing and jeering erupted around them. Kilbeg just scored a try.

"Oh crap," Shannon whispered. "How much time left?"

  "About a minute and a half," Claire said, before turning her attention back to the game, "Come on Tommen! Woo! Kilbeg—you're total shit!" she screamed.

  Kilbeg won the restart, possessing the ball and gaining several yards.

  The players looked completely exhausted. All except for Johnny Kavanagh, who ran across the field like Forrest Gump. His tank of energy seemed unlimited.

  Vanessa's palms began sweating profusely when Kilbeg's number ten moved into position between the posts, falling into range for a drop kick at goal. The score was tied, 20/20.

  "This is it," Claire kept screeching. "This is it. This is it. Oh god. I can't look."

  Vanessa held her breath, as she felt Katie lace their arms together in anticipation.

  Finally, Kilbeg's number nine positioned himself at the ruck. With the ball in his hands, he threw a pass back to their number ten.

  She felt her heart stopped.

  Everyone in the stands went quiet.

  Come on, miss it!

  Fuck up.

  Go wide.

  Her wish was granted when the ball left his boot, and got blocked down by Johnny, who sent the ball flying upwards in the direction of their goal line. The clock ran down, falling into red.

  "Yes!" Claire screamed, jumping to her feet, along with every other supporter on the sidelines. "Go on, Johnny! Come on Kavs!"

Unable to breathe, Vanessa watched as three Kilbeg backs hunted after him.

They weren't fast enough, though.

Like a bolt of lightning, Johnny chased down his interception, at a speed faster than any boy his size should be able to. Cheers and roars of encouragement erupted when Johnny kicked the ball forward, nudging it closer to the try line as he ran at top speed after it.

"Go on!" Claire roared excitedly. "Yes! You're almost there. Keep going. Move those sexy legs!"

The ball rolled over the line.

Milliseconds later, Johnny pounced, outstretching the Kilbeg backs who were hot on his heels. It was a blur of movements that resulted in Johnny grounding the ball into touch.

The crowd was insane.

Hughie moved into position in front of the posts and quickly kicked the conversion over, securing the two points.

  The game concluded.

  Tommen won.

Claire bounced up and down in celebration. "Woohoo! Go Tommen, go!"

"Don't think we're finished talking about this, Lynch," Katie whispered, the began cheering.

"Talk about what?" Vanessa called back.

"About why that boy is still looking at you like he wants to eat you," she replied, and then pointed an obvious finger at Johnny—whose eyes found their way back to Vanessa.

  His team just won the game, and he was staring at her like she was the trophy.

Vanessa shot him another glare. Did he not know what subtlety was?

He just grinned triumphantly.

  All of his teammates were running around like maniacs, leaping and jumping around in celebration. Meanwhile he seemed distracted. Teachers, students, local journalists, and cameramen with microphones, all crowded him.

  But even in the face of chaos, Johnny kept composure, not letting any of it faze him. Vanessa watched him with wonder, knowing if she was in her shoes, she'd definitely be overstimulated and tell everyone to fuck off. He was the epitome of calm, cool, collected as he answered questions and thanked his supporters that clapped his shoulders. Every now and then, his gaze flickered back at her, as if asking, What do you think?

  Vanessa didn't understand why he kept looking at her. Better yet, why it thrilled her.

  "Why are they flocking him?" Shannon asked confusedly.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Ah, because he's Johnny Kavanagh."

"So?" Shannon blinked confusedly.

"Come on," Claire squealed, grabbing Shannon's hand, quite literally dragging her down through the stands and onto the pitch.

Vanessa and Katie soon followed after. Right as they stepped on the pitch, a large blonde ran toward Katie, smiling wide. Vanessa took it as her cue to leave the happy couple. She said a quick goodbye to her friend, and walked over to find her sister.

  Vanessa saw Shannon, but a certain brunette boy by the name of Declan already found her, and they seemed to be already having a conversation. She didn't want to interrupt that.

  Then she watched Claire run into the arms of number seven. They swung eachother around for several minutes. It's like they were in their own little world. Vanessa could just feel, taste, and see the chemistry between them.

  Feeling lost and out of place, Vanessa stood in the middle of the crowd. She was familiar with game days, and she's played on games days, but this felt different. She didn't know where her place was.

  Then she finally spotted someone familiar.

Vanessa spotted number thirteen alone, with no crowd of people for once. He was downing a bottle of water.

  Vanessa walked up behind him, "Nice game, hotshot."

  Johnny froze for a moment in surprise, then turned around to face her. "You came." a wide grin formed on his face, though it was clear he was exhausted. "I can't believe you're actually here." he said breathless, throwing his bottle in a nearby trash can.

  "Not by will." Vanessa corrected. "But congratulations." she added with a smile.

  "Thank you," Johnny took a step closer, reaching to pull her close, but quickly stopped himself. He put his arms back at his side, seeming a little nervous.

  "Does it still hurt?" Vanessa asked concernedly, looking at his swollen eye.

  "Huh?"

  "Your eye."

  Johnny blinked for a moment, letting out a laugh. "I'm grand, Nessa. It's nothing."

  "Well sorry for showing concern for your well-being." she huffed, crossing her arms.

  "Don't be, I appreciate it," Johnny smirked. "It's nice knowing you care."

  Even though he was covered in mud and a little bruised up, he still managed to look attractive. His remarkable bone structure, swollen lips, strong jaw, and messy mop of dark hair...

  If she was his girlfriend, Vanessa would kiss him right then and there. Jump into his arms, like Claire did with Gibsie, and let everyone know he was hers. For a moment, she let herself imagine a world like that. Willingly going to games to support him, celebrating his victories, comforting him in his losses.

  But that reality just wasn't in her cards.

  So congratufuckinglations to his future girlfriend.

  And his wife.

  Not that she was jealous or anything.

Then Declan approached Johnny, with Shannon in tow. They clapped each other's backs, praising each other. Then Johnny turned to Shannon.

"You remember me, right?" Johnny gave her a friendly smile. "Shannon like the river?"

Declan burst out laughing, while Shannon shot him a look. Then she looked back at Johnny, with a hint of embarrassment. "Yeah, I remember."

"How's the head?"

Shannon smiled up at him. "All better."

"You sure?" he smirked. "No residual damage that might land me in trouble? I don't need to call in the lawyers, do I?"

"W—what?" Shannon gaped. "No, no. I'm fine. I would never sue you."

"I'm messing with you, Shannon," Johnny chuckled. Shaking his head, he added, "I'm really glad you're okay."

  "Oh, okay." Shannon flushed. "Thanks."

  "Johnny!" a booming male voice called out, distracting all of them.

  Johnny turned his head to see a burly man sauntering toward them with an impressive looking camera strapped to his neck.

  "Give us a picture for the paper, will ya, son?"

  Vanessa was fairly sure she heard Johnny mutter the words fuck off, but he turned to the photographer, giving him a polite nod. "No problem."

  "Good man yourself," the photographer praised and pointed the camera at Johnny, only to pause and look at the other three. He gave them a look, as if silently telling them to move.

  "Yeah that's our cue," Declan took Shannon's hand, wasting no time to get away from the cameras. They found a safe spot to the side.

  "You too, love." the photographer looked at Vanessa, impatiently.

  Dickhead.

  As Vanessa went to follow Shannon and Declan, she felt Johnny grab her wrist, pulling her back.

  "We were talking," Johnny bit out, casting a scathing glare at the photographer.

  Vanessa gave him an incredulous look. "What the fuck?" she whispered, as he pulled her to his side.

  Johnny let out a small smile, clamping his huge, muddy hand on her hip. "Just smile," he instructed quietly.

  "Johnny!" she glared up at him. "Are you serious—"

  "Unless you want to be known as 'Grumpy Girl', I suggest you smile." Johnny grinned, tugging her under his arm.

  Vanessa rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the actual smile tugging on her face. She beamed at the camera.

  This was so ridiculous. And she found herself enjoying it.

  The photographer arched a brow, shooting her a curious look, but quickly snapped what felt like a million photos. The flashes coming from his camera, plus more flashes from other photographers who joined in, were blinding. Vanessa began feeling uneasy.

  "Alright, that's enough," Johnny declared as he held a hand up, releasing her hip. "Thanks for coming out today. Appreciate the support."

  "Johnny, Johnny?" a lady called out. "What's your relationship?"

  "Private," Johnny shot back coolly.

  "What's your name, love?" the first photographer asked, pulling out a pen from his coat pocket.

  "Vanessa Lynch," she found herself answering, still wary of the curious eyes on her.

  "Are you coming to the party after school?" Johnny asked her.

Vanessa kept quiet, watching as a photographer wrote on the back of his hand. Several other reporters were still nearby. She narrowed her eyes at them, shooting them glares.

Releasing a frustrated growl at the attention still on them, Johnny turned to the photographers. "I'm at school," he stated in a sharp tone. "On school grounds. With a minor."

"I'm not a—" she whispered.

"Go with it." he urged.

She went along with it, and thankfully, it seemed to do the trick. The reporters slowly dispersed.

"I can't believe you made me do that!"

"It won't be that bad."

"What if they think I'm your girlfriend?"

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Jonathan!" she hissed, lightly smacking his chest.

Johnny burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" she glared at him for what felt like the millionth time today.

"It's a little funny." he chuckled, smiling contently.

Vanessa really wanted to be mad at him. But when he looked at her like that—his stupid dimple smile—it was hard not to. It was contagious. She felt the corners of her lips turn upward.

Then Shannon and Declan came back to them.

"So, are you two coming?" Johnny asked, looking between Vanessa and Shannon.
    
"To what?" Shannon asked confusedly.

"To the party. Hughie's Ma is throwing on a spread for the team at their house." he glanced between them. "I can drive you guys—or actually, maybe Declan could give Shannon a ride if she wants."

"Me?" Shannon's eyes widened.

"Yes, you," he replied, frowning slightly. "You're friends with his sister, Claire, aren't you?"

"Oh." Shannon shook her head vigorously. "Oh, ah, no, I'm not. I mean, yes, I am friends with Claire, but I'm not going to the party."

  Declan arched a brow. "How come?"

  "Because I'm not allowed to go anywhe–" Shannon stopped herself, just as Vanessa gave her warning look. "I have to help my Mam in the evenings."

  "She's pregnant," Johnny stated in a thoughtful tone.

  "But I'm sure Nessa would love—"

  "Wait what?" Vanessa turned to her sister, alarmed. "Shan, no. I'm coming with you."

"It's fine," Shannon assured her, shaking her head. "you should have fun."

  "But so should you." Declan frowned.

Vanessa wrapped an arm around her sister, pulling her to the side, out of the boys' earshot. "Shannon—"

"Nessa I know you like Johnny." Shannon stated with a smile.

"and you like Declan." Vanessa shot back, not even realizing she didn't deny Shannon's claim.

"No, Nessa." Shannon shook her head. "It's okay. You deserve fun. If I come, we'll both get in trouble."

"Shan—"

"I promise, I'll be okay," Shannon assured, determinedly.

It was clear she wasn't going to let her say no.

Vanessa stared at her for a moment, long and hard. Then sighed. "You have to text me when you get home. And if he gives you any ounce of shit, you call me or Joe." she instructed firmly.

"I will." Shannon nodded.

They glanced to where Johnny and Declan joined the rest of their team for group photos.

Vanessa wrapped Shannon in her arms. "I love you."

"I love you too." Shannon hugged back.

When they pulled back, Shannon gave Declan a weak wave, mouthing, I have to go. He frowned for a moment, but then quickly smiled for the camera.

After the photos, Johnny and Declan approached the girls again quickly. Vanessa instantly noticed the trophy Johnny was holding, Man of the Match.

"Do you need a ride?" Declan asked Shannon. "Because I can—"

"No, it's okay." she assured him. "I'll be okay. Go have fun."

Declan frowned. "At least let me walk you to the bus."

"Okay." Shannon flushed.

She said her final goodbyes, and she walked away with Declan. As they walked, Declan glanced back giving Vanessa a questioning look. Like he was wondering why she had freedom and Shannon didn't.

"Your parents are strict, huh?" Johnny asked Vanessa.

You have no idea, she thought.

"They're...tough on her since she's younger." she explained, without giving anything away. "I'm 18, so they don't really care as much." Or can stop her.

"When was your birthday?"

"December 25th."

"On Christmas?"

"I'm a miracle baby." she joked, smirking slightly. "When's your birthday?"

  Johnny laughed. "May 31st. Not as special."

  Vanessa nodded, then scrunched her nose in disgust.

  "What's wrong?"

  "I just realized..." she pinched her nose, dramatically backing away from him. "how much you stink right now."

  Johnny gasped offendedly, trying to frown but failing. "Do not!"

  He tried to take a step closer, but Vanessa put a hand up to stop him.

"I think it's time you hit the showers, hotshot." Vanessa teased.

Johnny scoffed amusedly at the nickname. "Whatever, butterfly."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow, confused where he got that from.

"Your name," he explained, and she could've sworn his cheeks flushed. "it means butterfly so..."

Before she could respond, Johnny told her, "Just stay here, and I'll be back in ten minutes."

Vanessa nodded, her heart still fluttering from the nickname. "Yeah, okay."

  Johnny gave her one last smile, quickly pressing his lips on her forehead.

Then he jogged off to the locker room, leaving Vanessa dumbfounded.

  This boy.

  His stupidly handsome face and sweet personality.

  If Vanessa was anyone else, it would be so easy to fall in love with him.

  But she just had to remind herself she wasn't going to be the girl that got to keep him.

LEXI NOTES !
these last few chapters have been a lil too happy... dw angst is coming after the next chapter !! 😊

what do we think about hotshot and butterfly 🙈

also omg happy birthday claire biggs ilysm they can never ever make me hate you