( FAYE )

although this bed is cozy, i couldn't manage to get a wink of sleep last night. my mind refused to leave me alone, relentlessly bombarding me with thoughts of sadie. i wasn't anywhere close to receiving my much needed break from her.

part of me wishes she would just leave and go home, perhaps due to an urgent matter, someone dying- something that might make her understand the emotions she had left me grappling with, leaving her with what she had left me.

the two conflicting emotions i'm dealing with, one wishes to rekindle our connection, while the other bears a strong urge to throw her under a moving train. i went insane last night and gave them names. meep and merp.

i chose not to bring my diary along for this trip, perhaps influenced by finns promise of fun and a belief that I wouldn't need to vent. that was until she magically showed up into my life again.

i stride over to the shared bathroom, which i share with ofcourse, none other than sadie. i wonder if noah had planned this.

the girl avoids my gaze as i grab my toothbrush. she seems to be finished brushing as soon as my presence enters the room. she exists prior to washing up, leaving me in the silence of the restroom.

"morning, faye!" noah calls out, receiving a cold stare in response.

"is she still mad at me?" he frowns towards millie. "she seemed fine last night at dinner"

"actually, i decided that dinner was a weird dream we all dreamt" finn states. "otherwise, it just makes no sense"

i take a seat on the largest couch, next to caleb. he wraps an arm around me as i lean into the touch. my gaze drifts towards the kitchen, locking eyes with the redhead once again. however, this time, neither of us look away.

the longer we stare at one another, the bigger the grin slowly making it's way onto her lips becomes. once i realise i had kept my eyes on her lips for a little too long, to the point where it can be misread, i return to her eyes.

even from afar, it's noticeable how pretty she is. her crimson coloured hair, the freckles that trailed her fairly pale complexion, the ever so light dimples that formed on the surface of her left cheek whenever she smiled.

its as if anytime she walks into a room, everyone will cease what they're doing, just to stare at her. the stares are not of a negative nature, not the kind I've received throughout my entire life. they're the kind i've always yearned to receive. the kind where people love you, look up to you, they spite you not because you're a burden to them, but because of the envy they hold towards you.

"y'all took my staring contest suggestion?"

calebs voice snaps us both back into the room, awkward laughs being exchanged throughout the room.

- ★ -

"pennywise is kinda hot i'm not gonna lie"

the clock reads 2am, all of us situated in the living room with eyes on the screen. a tiktok appeared on my fyp, making us rewatch the movie.

"you have terrible taste, caleb" gaten shakes his head.

"no no, let's hear him out" sadie adds.

caleb points towards her. "thank you, sades. it's just his smile, man"

i present caleb with a disapproving glance before shifting my gaze to sadie, who's eyes are already fixated on me. she smiles, prompting me to return the gesture.

and once more, our eyes are unable to leave one anothers. a muddled tangle of emotions. i can't bear to look at her. yet, i can't take my eyes off her.

she silently mouths a "hi" to me, evoking a chuckle from my lips.

after what feels like an eternity, we finally break eye contact. my cheeks feel warm, likely from the combination of emotions and nerves. there's nothing else that could be from.

- ★ -

the following sunrise, i had been woken up by millies hand falling on my face. i groan as i slap it away, slowly gathering myself up.

i shift my eyes on the large couch, immediately noticing sadies absence. i grasp my phone from the coffee table. it's barely 6am.

my legs guide me towards the balcony upon seeing the back of a redhead. i glide the glass door open, catching her attention. she smiles over her shoulder as i enter.

"hi" she speaks softly.

i make my way next to her, leaning over the railing. "hi"

as the sun barely dips above the horizon, casting a warm glow over the resort, we finally find ourselves alone with eachother, though i'm not sure if i even want it.

she takes a deep breath, glancing at me with sincerity in her eyes. i know what's about to come.

"faye, i wanna start by saying how genuinely sorry i am. what i did was unforgivable, i've been carrying the weight of that guilt with me"

her voice trembles, but she continues.

"i want you to know that i've spent the entirety of these two months reflecting on what i did, on the pain i caused you. i know we can't change the past, but i'm committed to mending this. even though we hadn't known eachother for that long, you were too amazing to forget. i really wanna fix this, but i understand it may take time. i'm willing to be patient"

she notices my silence and continues.

"faye, i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day, but i also understand if you can't. you deserve to make whatever choice is right for you. i just want you to know how sorry i am for everything i've caused you. i'll do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it means starting over and earning your trust from scratch"

the weight of her remorse was evident. the part of me which despises sadie- was starting to fade away. although, i kept imagining her with rory, an image burned into the back of my skull.

i tried my hardest to let that pass by.

"okay" i sigh.

she glances at me with wide eyes. "okay?"

"i forgive you"

a smile slowly creeps onto her face. she attempts at not letting her excitement show, turning her gaze back to the city.

i do the same.
though from my end,
i really just don't want to look at her.

★ authors note ,,

THEY MADE UP !!
i think?