( FAYE )

"faye, you can't keep doing this to yourself" finn exclaims, storming into the kitchen.

"i warned you so many times not to get back together with her. you're just setting yourself up for more pain"

i shut the refrigerator door, pivoting to face him.

"listen" i exhale, keeping my voice calm in contrast to his. "i know you won't believe me, but i really think it's different this time"

"how many times do you need to get hurt before you realize that sadie's not good for you?"

i bite the inside of my mouth.

"i appreciate your concern about all this, but this is my life. i know what's best for me"

his frustration boils over, raising his voice.

"your choices are affecting everyone around you, including me! i can't stand by and watch you go through this again and again"

my voice quivers slightly. "well, it's my life! i'll deal with my own consequences"

finn takes a deep breath prior to softening his tone.

"i know it's your life, but i'm your friend, and that's why i care so much. i hate seeing you hurt"

"i need to do this, finn. i can't let fear of pain dictate my life!"

he doesn't respond, and instead stands there with his gaze piercing through me.

i raise my voice once again, the anger reasserting its dominance.

"and you can't just stand there and judge my choices!" i shout with a tornado of frustration.

"you think you know what's best for me, but you can't even begin to understand how i feel! you don't know shit! you've never been through any of this"

"is that so?"

"yeah! and you know what?" i clench my jaw.

"maybe you're just jealous. you can't stand the thought of me being happy with someone when you're a miserable, lonely piece of shit!"

his voice rains down on me with nothing but melancholy. "if that's what you think, sure"

"i wanna be with sadie" my tone turns softer. "and if you can't accept that, then maybe it's best if i just stay away from you"

he doesn't hesitate.

"fine, if that's what you want, then go"

he ascends the staircase, and within seconds, the slam of a door reverberates through the house.

— ★ —

the faint golden rays of the morning sun filter through the curtains, a backdrop to my misery.

i move with a sense of urgency, folding my clothes and throwing them into a suitcase.

my fingers tremble slightly as i pick up my phone, the screen illuminating my determined face.

with a deep breath, i type a message to sadie, my heart pounding like a distant drumbeat.

"i'm coming to stay with you for a while"

i zip up my suitcase, sealing my decision.

— ★ —

the door swings open, revealing a concerned redhead on the other end.

"hi" i murmur, my voice barely above a whisper.

she envelops me in a warm, secure hug, granting me the solace to release tears that stream onto her shoulder.

her delicate touch, like a gentle breeze, soothes the knots of emotion in my head as her fingers brush through my tangled hair.

"shh, it's okay" she places a kiss on the top of my head. "come inside"

"this is all i have right now"

the redhead chuckles, placing a glass of strawberry milkshake in my hands.

"i mean, it's a good drink for crying" i shrug, taking a sip.

she breathes out slowly, settling down besides me on the neutral-toned sofa.

she drapes her arm around me, drawing me nearer to her. her fingers gently massage my scalp.

"you can stay here as long as you'd like" her smile is audible.

i can't contain the grin that covers my face. "oh yeah?"

"yeah" she places another kiss on my head, prior to covering my face with kisses.

we stand in the middle of the living room, surrounded by a sea of furniture.

i hoist one end of the couch while the redhead takes the other.

we shuffle it across the hardwood floor, grunting with effort.

"you know, i think it looks way better on this side of the room" i smile, my gaze on the new placement of the beige couch.

"you always think you know better, don't you?" sadie scoffs.

i chuckle before pausing, noticing a dusty photo frame adorning the coffee table.

a grin creeps its way onto my lips once noticing the images within are all of one person, me.

a collection of mostly candid polaroids, all taken by her, have been combined and arranged in a frame.

"fan behaviour" i snicker, unable to remove my gaze from the photos.

she nods. "what can i say, i'm obsessed"

— ★ —

sadie storms into the cozy living room, her brows furrowed with growing concern.

sitting on the couch with a well-worn novel in my hands, i notice the turmoil etched across her face.

"i can't find my phone, have you seen it?" she sighs, busy putting on her shoes.

i nonchalantly shrug prior to setting the book aside. "hold on, i'll look for it"

i stroll towards her room, which is temporarily our room, and locate her phone on the bedside table.

its screen lights up with a vibrating intensity, announcing an incoming call, leading me to pick up the call before striding towards sadie.

"found it"

she narrows her eyes at me, answering the call with a somewhat irritated "hello"

i leap back onto the couch, intrigued as i watch the conversation play out.

in a matter of seconds, she ends the call.

"who was it?"

sadies tone is stern. "don't answer my phone without asking, okay? it's my personal stuff"

taken off guard, i squint my eyes. "oh... i didn't mean to overstep, sorry"

with an exhale, she turns the doorknob, her countenance once again taking on a softened demeanor.

"i'll be back in a bit"

as she departs, i absentmindedly flip through the pages of my book.

letting out a sigh, i release the book onto the soft couch cushions and rush to our shared room.

i wonder if i should reach out to finn, assuring him of my well-being while mentioning i'm with sades.

he'd find the factor that i'm safe a relief, but the staying with sadie part? he'd lose his marbles.

yesterday, the argument erupted like a tempest in the tranquil sea of our lives, and i was the unwitting captain of the ship.

i regret my outburst; i let my anger take over and spit immaturity all around.

i can still hear his words — warning me about her.

my past with her, and the labyrinth of what-ifs still have me ensnared.

it's a peculiar sensation, like being trapped in an intricate mosaic, unable to discern where one piece ends and another begins.

finn and i?

our friendship right now feels like a fragile ship adrift on treacherous waters.

i hope we can navigate this storm; yet, in the end, i'm not sure if the sea of my emotions will ever find its calm, reaching safe shores.

for now, i'll remain beneath sadies roof, pondering how to reach out to finn.

ideally, i'd prefer him to be the one reaching out first. he hasn't displayed any initiative inquiring about my whereabouts, my safety...

i wonder if he even cares anymore.

★ authors note ,,

my honest reaction