THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE.

Olivia could barely keep her eyes open as Nancy helped her into her sweatpants. Her best friend kept shooting her worried looks, her fingers trembling as she tried to keep Olivia steady.

"Okay," Nancy bit her nails before reaching behind her to grab a plain white T-shirt.

"Isn't that Jonathans'?" Olivia mumbled.

"Yeah," Nancy looked at her with a small smile. "He said he doesn't want you ruining one of your shirts. He has, like, ten of these."

Olivia nodded. Nancy reached forward and gently pulled the shirt over her friend's head, helping her pull the injured arm through the sleeve.

The movement made Olivia's vision go white as she gasped in pain. She felt herself toppling over towards the floor, thinking that surely now she would lose consciousness, but Nancy quickly grabbed her.

"No, no, no," Nancy gently smacked her friend's cheek, sounding panicked. "Stay with me, okay?Ollie, just stay with me."

Olivia tried to pry her eyes open, but her lids were just too heavy. Every limb felt like it weighed a million pounds. The venom from the bite in her shoulder was slowly spreading through her body, like a disease, stealing her strength and energy.

The only thing keeping her alive was her connection to the Upside Down, and she had no idea how long that would last.

"Ollie, look at me," Nancy pleaded. "Please, I can't... I already lost one friend to those stupid monsters. I can't lose you too."

Her voice broke and Olivia looked forced herself to open her eyes, her concern for her friend outweighing her exhaustion.

"What do you mean?" Olivia croaked, willing herself to please just stay awake, please please please...

Nancy hastily wiped a tear off her cheek with the back of her hand. "It doesn't matter. Never mind."

"Nancy," Olivia looked at her, her eyebrows furrowing. The pain had subsided just enough for her to no longer feel like she was about to pass out. She could hang on, for now. "You lost a friend?"

Nancy's big blue eyes were filled with tears. Her lips were pressed together, her nose scrunched up in her effort not to cry. "Yeah."

Olivia's heart sank. She scooted back on the bed so she was hip to hip with her friend, careful not to move her injured shoulder. "Who?"

Nancy took a deep breath, looking down at her hands. "Her name was Barb. Barbara Holland. My best friend since kindergarten."

"What happened?" Olivia whispered.

Nancy gave a laugh of frustration. "She got taken. To the Upside Down. I don't know how long she was even in there, before she died. All I know is when... El..."

She trailed off and glanced up at Olivia, almost like she was asking for permission to continue.

"It's okay," Olivia nodded. It really was. "We can talk about her."

"El was looking for Will with her powers," Nancy continued after a moment. "She must have found Barb's body, because she suddenly she started crying and saying, 'gone". I just... God, it hurt. It hurt so bad."

Olivia stayed quiet, watching Nancy as she struggled to keep her tears from spilling over.

"Sometimes I still see her," Nancy said quietly, staring at the wall. "The other day, at the library, studying with Steve, I was sharpening my pencil and I... I could have sworn I saw her. It was the same red hair and the same god-awful tan blouse she loved... it's been a year, and I'm still not over it."

"I'm sorry'," Olivia said softly. Nancy looked up at her.

"It's alright," she said sadly. "I just try not to think about it, you know? Crying all day like I used to isn't going to bring her back."

"Yeah," Olivia said in a low voice. She knew Nancy was talking about Barb, but she couldn't get Eleven out of her head. 

Her and Nancy were a lot more alike than she had realized.

They sat for a moment in sad silence, each deep in their own thoughts. That was one of the many things Nancy loved about Olivia. She didn't know if it was spending her entire childhood without much human interaction, but Ollie was an incredible listener. They could sit in silence and it was never awkward, or forced.

Just being with each other was enough.

"I made a mistake," Olivia blurted suddenly.

Nancy looked up at her, slightly bewildered. Her eyes softened when she saw her friend's tortured expression, and she leaned closer. "What happened?"

"I'm a bad friend," Olivia looked down at her hands. There was blood crusted underneath her fingernails, clotting her cuticles. Her vision blurred with tears, swirling the red and the pale tan together until she couldn't see where the blood ended and her skin began.

"What makes you say that?" Nancy raised her eyebrows.

Olivia's eyes burned with tears and her lower lip trembled slightly. Her eyes darted up to meet Nancy's, which were bright and blue and beautiful. She didn't want to hurt her, but she couldn't lie to her best friend.

"Steve," she whispered. Her shoulder pulsed with pain. Olivia cleared her throat, trying to find the courage to say the words she needed to. "Steve and I... we..."

Something flickered in Nancy's eyes. When she spoke, though, it was anything but harsh.

"I know."

Olivia felt a tear trace it's way down her cheek and she looked up at her best friend. Nancy's expression was so, so gentle- more gentle than Olivia deserved.

"You do?" She croaked.

"Yeah," Nancy smiled slightly. Her eyes wandered to the single poster on the wall; Grease, in big bold letters, with Sandy and Danny in their signature dancing position. It was the first movie they had watched together, a few weeks after Olivia was adopted. "I saw you guys earlier. I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."

Olivia felt sick to her stomach. "How does he look at me?" She asked, guilt lacing her features.

Nancy met her eyes. "The same way you look at him," she said softly.

Oh.

"I'm so sorry," Olivia whispered. The pain in her shoulder made her want to vomit, but the knowledge that she had betrayed her best friend was the worst pain imaginable.

"Hey." Nancy took Olivia's hand. "Look at me."

She didn't want to. She didn't want to see the hurt and betrayal in Nancy's features, the disappointment and scorn she had tried to hard to stay away from. But she had hurt Nancy; the least she could do was look at her.

So she did.

Her lips trembled and her eyes were filled with tears, but she did it.

"It's alright," Nancy told her. 

That forgiveness was all Olivia needed. She let out a small sob, relief flooding her veins and once the floodgates were open, the wouldn't close again.

And she wasn't sure she wanted them to.

Nancy leaned forward, holding Olivia close and pressing their foreheads together. Olivia's shoulder shook with sobs, feeling her best friend's wet hair against her own.

"It's alright," Nancy whispered. "I love you, okay? There is nothing you could do to change that. I love you."

And Olivia cried.

She cried for her past self, who had been so scared to love and to hope that she hurt the people around her. She cried for her little sister, who had taught her what is was to care about someone more than yourself. She cried for Steve, the first person to show her that she was worthy of someone's love. She cried for her the twins and Joyce and Jonathan, who had done nothing but support her and make sure she was comfortable adjusting to her terrifying new world. She cried for Nancy, the friend she would never deserve, but somehow still stuck with her through everything.

Most of all, though, Olivia cried for the little girl who had grown up in that lab for sixteen years with a warped, manipulated, twisted ideal of what love was.

She had no idea her heart could grow and mature and learn and care so much.

Because sitting here, in her bedroom, with her best friend's forehead against hers, she knew now.

This was love.

This was what she felt for Steve so strongly. This was what she had meant when she had told him, "I love you too." This was what made her heart swell when she was around him.

And to know that he felt the same way about her...

It was so beautifully, magnificently impossible.

"It's alright," Nancy repeated, her voice almost a whisper as Olivia's sobs died out. "I got you. I got you, okay?"

Olivia pulled back and stared at her friend, her cheeks wet with tears and her chest tight from crying. "Thank you."

"You're my best friend, Ollie," Nancy chuckled. "No boy is ever going to come between us. Besides, Steve and I... aren't together anymore."

"What happened?" Olivia asked quietly. "I mean, you guys were so in love..."

Nancy shook her head thoughtfully. "I think... I think we were in love with the idea of us. The jock and the good girl trope, you know?"

Olivia didn't, but she nodded anyway.

"Steve... he's a great guy. He's one of the best people I know. But... our relationship started from lies. We hurt each other, we both wanted something else out of it, we didn't communicate well..."

"Steve said he used to be a bad person," Olivia remembered.

Nancy smiled slightly, looking amused. "He definitely isn't the same as he was a year ago. He actually beat up Jonathan once. Broke his camera. Let his friend spray paint that I was a slut on the movie theater."

"What? What did Jonathan do?" Olivia whispered in horror. "Steve... wait, what's a slut?"

"It's a stupid, sexist word for a girl who sleeps around," Nancy shook her head. "Steve promised to never say something like that to any girl ever again, but... it still hurts."

"Sleeps around," Olivia repeated. She furrowed her eyebrows. "You mean... having... you know...?"

"Having sex," Nancy chuckled, wiping a stray tear. She saw Olivia's pale face and nudged her elbow. "It's not a bad word, you know. You can say it."

"Sex," Olivia said quietly. Nancy raised an eyebrow, an amused smile on her face, encouraging her. "Sex," she said louder. More confidently.

"Sex," Nancy echoed, just as loudly.

"Sex," Olivia was grinning now. It was liberating to say- no one was there to stop her. No Papa lurking around the corner, waiting to punish her.

"SEX!"

"SEX! " Olivia shouted.

Suddenly the door swung open, just as the girls were in mid-scream, revealing a very bewildered Steve Harrington and a very tired, confused Jonathan Byers.

The four of them just stared at each other for a moment, frozen. Then Olivia and Nancy burst out laughing.

"What the fuck?" Steve whined.