oo. NINE

AS IT TURNED OUT, NADINE DIDN'T CALL MARGOT TOMORROW. Or the day after that, even. Despite having Peter's encouragement, she just couldn't face them, couldn't risk the idea that they could express their anger, and decide that they could no longer be friends.

And Nadine knew Margot, of course she did, and yes them saying or even thinking that would be nothing like them, but... even then, she couldn't confirm that without talking to them and therein lies her problem.

So, Nadine decided that she would take some more time.

Who cares if she spent most of that time in her room, trying — and mostly failing — to keep her tears at bay.

Everything was just too much, at the moment, and if Nadine felt like if she even laid eyes on her friends then she'd explode. The last thing she'd ever wanted to do was hurt them, or disappoint them, but in that moment at OSCORP, she'd let her fear get the best of her.

Not that anyone could blame her, really.

Peter surely didn't — in fact, he'd been the one to actually understand how she felt. He understood how terrifying it was to look a man-turned-reptile in the eyes, and not know if he was going to kill you, or let you live.

Nadine had seen Peter when the Lizard had tried the former, she remembered the gashes carved into his chest, from that night. She remembered the way blood had dripped from his torso, and she even remembered wiping it from her bathroom counter, too.

She didn't like remembering, all that much.

But sometimes, it was impossible.

That much was clear when she woke up for the second time that night, her subconscious mind playing vivid visions of what could have happened had she taken the antidote to Peter, instead.

It usually ended with a phantom pain that had never existed, claw marks dug through her chest, tearing apart the little wisps of her soul.

Despite having experienced many nightmares before, Nadine didn't think that climbing into her mother's bed would have the same effect — and her brother wasn't around to reassure her, either.

Which left her with another option.

    "Nadine?" questioned Peter, his voice scratchy with disturbed sleep, she could hear him suppressing his yawn, "Are you okay?"

He was alert — which, had it been anyone else, would have been weird, but given his... other identity, Nadine figured that it was probably valid. She could understand why he would worry, especially considering the fact that she knew about his mask.

    "Yeah, I'm okay." she paused, unsure what she could say next.

    "Nadine?" repeated Peter, and she could almost visualise the furrow of his brow in her head.

    "I'm sorry, Pete, I don't know why— why I—" she cut herself off, putting her head between her knees and breathing deeply, doing her best to calm down.

    "I'm on my way." announced Peter, putting his suit on. Nadine just barely heard him pulling his mask on, and his next words were muffled. "Do you want me to stay on the phone?"

    "Wh— no, concentrate on swinging, idiot!" scolded Nadine, keeping the relief out of her voice as she heard his bedroom window slide open.

    "Okay, okay, I'll be there in ten, alright? Make sure your window is unlocked." he added, a laugh pausing just before it could escape.

    "Yeah, okay. Thank you, Pete." replied Nadine, adding an extra, "Be careful." before she hung up the phone, hurrying to unlock her window, and she shoved the folded clothes on her desk into her closet.

She thought about doing more tidying, but figured that if Peter Parker could handle a giant Lizard tearing the city apart, he could handle her room being a mess.

It took nine minutes for Spider-Man to climb through Nadine's window — not that she was counting, of course — and she was sure that there was no relief like seeing Peter Parker's stupid reflective eyes on his mask. But he had to prove her wrong, because the relief she felt when he took off his mask was much more.

Nadine couldn't help but feel better at just the sight of Peter Parker — it was reassuring to know that it all was just a dream. Peter would never let anything bad happen to her, that much he'd assured her of, quite a while ago.

But even then, if she stood up and threw her arms around him before he could even shut the window, well... nobody had to know.

    "I've got you, you alright?" asked Peter, one of his hands holding the back of her head, while the other was wrapped around her lower back.

Nadine nodded, but kept her head resting against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.

    "You look exhausted," Peter commented, finally able to get a good look at her face. He only received a huff in return, and with an exasperated smile, he moved her slightly away from the hug. "Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

    "Are you going to stay?" she asked — and she couldn't help the spike of embarrassment she suddenly felt, her cheeks warming slightly. "Not that— not that you have to, obviously!"

    "Hey, it's all good, I'm staying." said Peter, his palms resting on her cheeks, thumbs gently stroking against her cheekbones. His gloves made the motion stutter slightly, the rubber like material getting caught against her skin. Even so, it was far too comforting for her to complain.

    "Okay," she mumbled, Peter cupping her face for just a moment longer, before he let go and watched her lay on the left side of her bed.

    "You're weird for choosing the left side." Peter quipped playfully, and he happily climbed into the right side, picking up the blue bear sat against the pillow — it had definitely seen better days, but Nadine didn't care. "Who's this?"

    "Blueberry..." Nadine said, snatching the bear from Peter's hands.

    "Oh, very original." said Peter, a teasing lilt to his voice.

    "Shut the hell up, Spider-Man."

    "Woah," gasped Peter, hand placed against the spider symbol on his chest. "That hurt me, Nadine."

Nadine laughed, rolling her eyes at Peter Parker's antics. Why they hadn't been friends long before now, she'd never know. She couldn't imagine that the... spider-ness in his blood had changed him all that much.

    "I'm just saying, it's not very original of you, Pete." she told him, laying on her side so she was facing him.

    "Wh— I was bitten by a spider!"

    "Seems like a you problem, honestly."

    "I'm gonna make it a you problem, too, then." said Peter, smirking as she rolled her eyes yet again.

A moment of silence stretched between them, with Nadine taking in Peter's features, worrying over whether or not the closing scratches were cleaned well enough, or if they would scar. She followed the line of faint injuries, her eyes catching the fading purple bruise on his jaw, and she thought about who could've gotten close enough to hit him in the face when he could just... climb up a wall, or swing up, even.

    "Thank you for coming." she said, deciding to ask him about the origins of his injuries another time.

    "I'll always come, when you need me." Peter admitted, spoken as if it was a well kept secret — but if there was one thing Nadine knew, it was that Peter Parker was terrible at secrets.

    "Even if you're in class?"

    "Even if I'm in class." confirmed Peter, his brown eyes softer, warmer, than Nadine had ever seen them.

    "Can you stay in the morning, too?" asked Nadine, even if she was slightly embarrassed to do it. There was something comforting about just having someone — having Peter — there.

    "Depends, what are you making for breakfast?"

    "Depends, what do you want?"

    "Anything. I'll stay no matter what."

oo

PETER PARKER WAS NOT EXPECTING TO WAKE UP ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON TO NADINE HOLT BESIDE HIM. Really, he should've been — after all, he had promised that he'd stay with her, but something about the situation just didn't feel... real.

It all felt like a dream, like he could reach out and touch her, and his hand would go right through. It felt as if reality was fuzzy, but the longer Peter spent blinking in the afternoon light that had invaded Nadine's room, the more he realised it was just... nice. It was nice to wake up next to Nadine, to be able to reach out and touch her — he had just never really expected it.

She remained asleep, even as Peter went through the motions of counting his fingers just to ensure that this wasn't a dream, and even as he stood up, clicking his back and removing the gloves he still had on.

Peter focused his hearing, trying to tune in on anyone else who could be in the apartment, but he came up empty — they were the only two there. He figured that Nadine's mother had probably gone out, or to work, and had let Nadine sleep in.

He couldn't help but feel relief that she hadn't seen a boy in the infamous Spider-Man suit in her daughter's bed.

That would've made a good story for Nadine's mom to tell.

Given the empty state of the apartment, Peter decided that he'd go ahead and make Nadine breakfast, even though the so-called conditions — that didn't actually exist, he'd stay regardless — of his stay at the Holt apartment was Nadine making breakfast.

Although, he did run into the issue that his Aunt May always made breakfast, and he didn't really know how to cook... but there were a fresh box of pop tarts in the cupboard, and Peter had heard Nadine talk about her lack of pop tarts in multiple lessons, even before his super spider-hearing.

Peter was a strong believer that all pop tarts should be toasted, but judging by the time Nadine had eaten one in class, he figured that she probably didn't feel the same.

So, he grabbed the box, and headed back to Nadine's room, witnessing her sitting up and frowning at the empty side of the bed.

    "Hey sleepy," greeted Peter, a smile growing on his face at the surprised look Nadine gave him.

    "Pete! I thought you left," said Nadine, an eyebrow quirked, although the relief she felt at seeing he hadn't actually left was pretty strong.

    "I told you I was staying." replied Peter, raising an eyebrow back at her in a mocking way. He held out the pop tarts in his hand, and decided that he needed to commit the smile that crossed Nadine's face to his memory.

    "You did tell me that." Nadine said softly. "Thank you for— for the pop tarts."

    "Anytime," he said, a knowing look on his face. "Seriously."

    "Wanna watch a movie, maybe?" asked Nadine, even though she knew she was still far too tired from having just woken up to watch a movie. But if it was an excuse for Peter to stick around for longer, she'd take it.

    "Sure, what've you got for us today?" Peter played along, sitting back on her bed and getting comfy. He watched Nadine lean over to her desk, grabbing her laptop and loading up the first film after a brief nod given from himself. Her droopy eyes were the first sign of her lacking concentration, and it only went downhill from there.

With her head resting against Peter's shoulder, eyes lazily trying to take in the pictures of the movie, Nadine realised that the last time she'd seen this was with Margot.

God, when was the last time she and Margot had a sleepover? They'd barely even spoken about the newest developments in their relationship with Gwen! And here Nadine was, laying ever so happily with none other than Peter Parker, while Margot likely had to comfort Gwen for the father she lost because of Nadine's cowardice.

Did Margot know? Is that why they hadn't called yesterday? Did they think that Nadine was replacing them? Did they even care? Nadine's not sure they should, given the state she left their maybe girlfriend in.

She didn't even know if Gwen Stacy was officially their girlfriend.

Nadine felt sick at the realisation.

How much worse of a friend could she possibly be? Nadine felt as if her subconscious was having her become a worse and worse friend, always missing out on things, always hurting people because of her own selfishness, never there when they need her.

She hadn't even listened to any of the voicemails that followed the first one — what if something seriously bad happened, and Nadine had abandoned them to it while she had her own pity party?

    "Nadine, you're thinking so loud that I can barely hear the movie." said Peter softly, an arm wrapping around her shoulders as he gently pulled her away from her very quickly spiralling thoughts, before she could get any deeper.

    "Sorry," she apologised absentmindedly, not fully there, but not too deep in her thoughts. There was a restlessness growing in her chest, an itch at her fingertips, and it didn't matter how many times she shifted in place, nothing helped. "I think I need to call Margot."

Peter's fingers stilled where they had been brushing against her shoulder, and he gave her a quick squeeze.

    "Okay," said Peter, pulling away, "Do you want me to leave?"

    "No— no, I'll just go into the kitchen. I can call you in though, right? If— if I need to?" asked Nadine, and she still couldn't understand why she was so nervous about Peter's reactions to her asking him to stay — or why she was ever nervous around him! She'd seen the boy be shoved into far too many lockers to be nervous, right? She chalked it down to new friendship.

    "Of course," replied Peter, giving her his best reassuring smile. "You'll be fine. I'll just be in here."

With a nod, Nadine picked up her silenced phone from the other side of her bedroom, and headed out into the kitchen. Her heart was drumming against her ribs, and she could feel it in her throat.

Pressing the call button was arguably the easiest part — if anything, the waiting was the worst.

What if they didn't answer? What if they'd blocked her number? What if—

    "Nadine!" said a voice over the phone, easily recognisable as Margot Allaway — although their voice was slightly off, warbled by more than just the phone.

    "Margot." replied Nadine, the tears getting stuck in her throat as she heard their voice for the first time in days. "I'm— I'm sorry, Margs."

There was a pause over the phone, a lack of rustling movement. Nadine feared she had said the wrong thing.

    "Sorry? Nadine, you have nothing to be sorry for." said Margot, "Well, other than not answering my calls— which is forgiven, by the way."

Nadine almost broke down then — how did she get so lucky, to have such a best friend?

    "But I—"

    "Whatever you're going to say, don't say it. Dean, everything is okay. Gwen and I aren't mad, or even upset! We just miss you."

Never had she felt so much joy or relief from hearing that stupid nickname — that she would stand by until she died, made no sense.

There was a weight, still pressing on her chest, and Nadine couldn't even think of what else could've made it go away.

    "I love you so much." she told them instead, and the admission felt good falling from her lips again. They were the best friend a person could ask for, and she'd done nothing to deserve them.

    "I love you more. Me and Gwen will come round soon, yeah?"

    "Yeah," agreed Nadine, eyes following along the cracks in her ceiling.

    "Okay. I love you, I'll see you later." said Margot, a closing note to their rather anticlimactic phone call — honestly, Nadine was half expecting for them to declare their hatred for her and demand she stayed away from both themself and Gwen.

Not that Margot would ever be so mean, but who was Nadine if she didn't make everything seem a lot worse than it was?

She sat in the kitchen for five more minutes before Peter crept out of her room, and the tar that had been weighing down her chest, sitting heavily in her lungs, began draining, the only sign of the heaviness being the faint residue it left behind.

    "You okay?" asked Peter, and he was always so gentle, always kind and protective and— what was Nadine thinking?

    "I'm okay." she replied, and for a second, she was sure it was true.

authors note
helloo! welcome back! hope
you enjoyed the chapter :D
look forward to margot content
soon <3