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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧

May 3rd, 2016

Bucharest, Romania

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For the last year, Allie had known nothing but peace. Nothing but complete harmony, softly whispered promises of the life she could have. A life that if she had the opportunity, she would choose to live for the rest of eternity.

A life with Bucky.

Enraptured in sensual kisses that left her soul alight as if it was made of napalm, conversations that soothed her wounded heart of pain. Waking her from horrifying nightmares with soft caresses and mollifying hugs. Taking away her pain as if he was a cure to all ailments. That was what she had been gifted after years of pain.

And she did the same for him. Reminding him that he was not the Winter Soldier, that he was not that monster HYDRA had turned him into. With whispered promises of love, she took his mind away from the past and reminded him of his future. The life they could share, one that left him spending every minute of every day with her. His own salvation.

But even then, the future didn't matter. Because the two of them would happily continue living the way they already were.

Each day consisted of the two of them making more memories, or even remembering new memories. They spent their time walking around Bucharest as if they were natives, no longer afraid of being outside the comfort of their apartment, even going on the occasional date when they felt like it. Living the life they wished they were able to experience back in the '40s.

Allie even used her powers to help Bucky remember. She had swore that she was going to try and use her powers for good, to retake the fact that she had merely been made to be a soldier by HYDRA and her powers which were only used for destruction. Those same powers which had once been used to kill, now used to heal.

She helped Bucky recall memories both good and bad, which he immediately wrote in his journal and gave back to Allie. For safekeeping, he claimed. They only started small, with singular events or moments in time. Nothing that would uproot all his progress to come to terms with his past. Memories before the war, his life with Steve and his family, and his past at HYDRA.

Speaking of the golden haired hero, Allie had been keeping in regular contact with him. She heard all about his daring adventures, his plans to seduce Melaina and everything Avengers related. Their hour long conversations made up for the lack of physical contact they had experienced over the past year, all the times they had been robbed of each other's company.

But that did nothing to assuage the guilt that circled in her gut like a beast gnawing at her insides. Steve, the man that had done everything for her, her best friend, deserved everything good in the world. And yet she continuously lied to him, keeping him in the dark about her lover that he had been searching for. Lying about Bucky's whereabouts, even though she knew how desperately Steve wanted to connect with his long lost best friend.

And the only excuse that would lessen her shame was the fact that it wasn't her secret to tell. It was Bucky's, and she had already tried to force him to see Steve. Although it was to no avail.

She also stayed in connect with Tony, the billionaire superhero whom she considered a son (who was actually biologically older than her which didn't quite make any sense). Tony's jokes always seemed to brighten up her day, leaving her body aching as she was left gasping for breath. A feeling that only Howard used to be able to elicit from her. One that he passed onto his son.

Allie also heard about his break up with Pepper, a story that broke her own heart as she adored the ginger haired woman very much. She listened to him grieve over the relationship, in his very few words, and she grieved with him. Knowing that he had lost a piece of his heart when Pepper walked out of his life.

But she also heard about a new crime-fighting vigilante terrorizing the streets of Queens, that went by the name of Spiderman. A hero that Tony had his eye on, knowing that greatness hummed in his veins. That with the right directions, could achieve heights that Iron Man never could.

A hero that also went by the name of Peter Benjamin Parker.

Even though Allie regularly conversed with the awkward teen over the phone, not once had he mentioned having superpowers. That he wore a crimson red and blue jumpsuit to fight bad guys in Queens. That he could catch a bus with his bare hands.

But to be fair, she also never told him that she was a 90 year old wanted criminal and past assassin for HYDRA. So she guessed she really didn't have any reason to be mad at him.

But other than that, life had been relatively perfect. They had received no word from HYDRA, the Police or any other international agencies calling for their arrest. She had heard nothing from Mikael since that failed mission over a year ago. Absolutely nothing.

So they just lived their lives.

They had spent their day laying on the couch watching tv. Bucky's head rested in her lap as she comfortingly massaged his scalp with her fingers, twirling pieces of his ebony hair into little braids before she pulled them apart. A therapeutic process that they both enjoyed far too much.

They hadn't even been watching the tv really. Rather it provided the background noise as they talked, a mere soundtrack drowned out by their conversations. Fading away from their ears as they only focused on each other.

"Chocolate or Strawberry?" She questioned, chestnut eyes trained down on her nimble fingers that attempted to make another braid from Bucky's unruly mess of hair.

"100% chocolate." He answered immediately, eyes closed as he reveled in the feeling. Tracing faint shapes into her ivory legs that he laid between.

"Ok, what's your favorite color?"

"Don't have one." He shrugged lazily.

Rolling her eyes, she continued with his braid. "Alright, what's mine?"

"Blue and yellow." He said instantly as if it were the easiest question in the world. Eyes peering open and meeting her surprised ones.

"How did you know that?" She gaped, brows furrowed as she regarded him with shock.

"You told me blue back at HYDRA when I first met you and yellow on our first date." He answered, smiling lightly as he recalled those events. Their time in the HYDRA cells where he first met Allie, the brave warrior who had spent her entire life bound to the then Nazi tied organization. The woman who had caused his ever cold heart to ignite into a ball of flames, burning in a glorious blaze. Igniting his entire being with a feeling he could only describe as true love. A feeling that never left him even after all these years.

"How do you even remember that?" She grinned, a melodious chuckle falling past her roseate lips.

"I try to remember everything about you doll." He smirked, referencing the exact response he had told her 70 years ago to the same question. "Also it's hard to forget blue considering you only said that because of my eyes."

A fake gasp fell past her lips as she met his cocky grin, unable to believe that he had known that after all these years and failed to bring it up. That even back at HYDRA he had known exactly why she said blue and let her believe she got away with her incredulous lie.

"You're insufferable." She fought to hold in her chuckle as she teasingly pulled against his braid.

"Ow, careful with the hair." He remarked with an impudent smile.

Rolling her eyes, she went back to pulling the braid apart. Only to grab a different strand of hair and begin braiding that, a pattern she had aimlessly been repeating for a while. All while Bucky returned to his humming and strummed his metallic fingers against her legs.

But their reprieve was suddenly broken when the show that had been fading in the background was interrupted with a newscast. Bringing the pair's attention to the tv and immediately leaving the jaws dropping open in horror.

On the news was a city in Nigeria, Lagos, in ruins. Buildings engulfed in flames with civilians running for their lives. Plumes of blackened ash rising into the air, choking the sky of light. Debris littered on the ground, along with the bodies of innocents. Unfortunate casualties of an attack that was still uncertain in nature.

But what they did know, was that the Avengers had been involved.

Steve had been there, his face slack with terror as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Snippets of his immediate reaction to the attack, the guilt that churned in his cobalt eyes with Melaina by his side sharing a similar reaction. Albeit briefly before she faded into a shadow and was seen portalling those inside the building out to freedom.

"It's been confirmed that several Avengers and other unknown combatants were at the root of this explosion in Lagos, killing and injuring a significant number of Nigerians. As well as many relief workers." The reporter claimed as Bucky sat back up in Allie's lap, eyes widening at the nightmarish footage that played on the screen.

"Steve Rogers, Melaina Darhk, Samuel Wilson and Natasha Romanoff all have been confirmed at the scene. Former S.H.I.E.L.D agent, now mercenary Brock Rumlow has also been linked to the attack."

Allie could already see the headlines, Avengers the reason for destruction of Lagos, Steve Rogers leading a pack of vigilantes hellbent to destroy. She knew what they would say, how this would affect his image. Not only his image to the people, but to himself. The blame that would weigh on his shoulders, the weight of a thousand moons crippling him. Crushing his glass heart.

Bucky, noticing Allie's despondent look, softly squeezed her thigh. Instantly meeting her anxious eyes with tenderness. "He'll be alright right, doll."

"I know but this... This is something that the public might not forgive." She replied, shaking her head morosely.

"When did this happen?" Bucky questioned, turning his gaze back to the tv.

"I think a few hours ago." She frowned.

"Well go give him a call. He might answer." Bucky offered, slipping his metal fingers between her own in silent encouragement.

"Yeah, good idea." She agreed, squeezing his hand before letting go. Prying herself away from him and walking into her room to get her phone. Ignoring the unusual stiffness of her limbs as she did so.

Her hands instantly curled around the device that was sitting on her bedside table. Fingers darting across the keyboard as she searched for Steve's contact, digits shaking in nervousness as she did so. And upon seeing his name, she didn't hesitate before she pressed the dial button, lifting it up to her ear.

The ringtone sounded into her ear for a few moments, no response from the other side. And she fought the urge to give up, knowing that Steve was a busy man and probably was dealing with bigger problems of his own right now. But right before she had the chance to hang up, Steve's deep baritone voice echoed through the phone.

"Allie?"

"Steve, are you alright? I just saw what happened in Lagos on the news." She immediately asked him, urgency coating her tone. Resembling an axioms mother who has let her child away from the nest for the first time. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine so is everyone else. We are all just a little shaken up." He replied, voice devoid of any emotion. Purely sounding tired.

"What happened out there?" She questioned, nervousness rattling in her bones.

"I got distracted. I just froze, then Rumlow tried to blow himself up and Wanda tried to contain it the only way she knew how." He informed her, a noticeable undercurrent of barely contained anger in his words.

"How did you get distracted?" She responded, brows furrowed in confusion. Knowing that it was not like Steve to let emotions cloud his judgment, to be blinded by sentiment.

A tense silence followed her question, arousing a feeling of fear to coil in her gut. Intuition warning her that something was wrong. Something that even worried Steve, a man with steel hard resolve that very rarely wained.

"Rumlow said Bucky's name."

And with that, guilt immediately clawed at her insides, shredding her already broken resolve. Reminding her of what a terrible friend she had been. Forced to choose between her lover and her best friend, two men that she owed everything to. And choosing a side that would ultimately leave the other betrayed.

"Steve that's not your fault." She managed to get out, ignoring the shame that clawed up her throat, poisoning the words on her tongue.

"Yes it is, it would never have happened if I didn't let my past cloud my judgment. If I didn't let Rumlow turn me into that 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn." He argued bitterly, more so to himself than her.

"Steve, as the president of the haunting past club, you can't pin all the blame on yourself. Rumlow did this, he killed those people by killing himself. You can't blame yourself for that." She tried to reassure him, suppressing her own emotions in order to help her friend. The man that needed her more than she needed the reminder of her sins.

He let out a weary sigh, not quite believing her words but too tired to argue otherwise. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Steve, you have nothing to apologize for." She shook her head.

"Look, I have to go now. I need to talk to Mel and Wanda." He interrupted suddenly.

"Oh." She murmured, shaking off the vile feeling of rejection that simmered inside her. Knowing that Steve currently had a lot on his mind, which majorly revolved around the disaster the Avengers had only caused a few hours ago. "Is Melaina okay?"

"I—I think so. I haven't had a proper chance to speak with her." Steve replied after a brief pause, his words holding overwhelming uncertainty.

"Alright, well you should definitely go do that. Say hi to her for me though."

"I will." He smiled lightly, one that she wished she could see. "Stay safe Allie."

"You too, Steve." She replied before he hung up. Her sigh echoing into the air as her hand dropped limply to her side. "You too."

. ☾ .

The two were laying in bed, limbs entwined as they laid in each other's arms. Allie resting her head atop of Bucky's chiseled chest, letting the cadenced thumps of the organ that lay beneath guide her into a soothing sleep. Letting unconsciousness claim her as one of its own, surrendering to the darkness that seemed warm in Bucky's arms.

But Bucky, he wasn't awarded the same fate.

He was catapulted into the swirling monster of his nightmares, memories of his former self that would had left even the bravest of men cowering in fear. A man haunted by the phantom of his past, its razor sharp claws tearing into his skull. Burying its hold deep within the corners of his mind and tearing with callous force. Letting its foul poison corrupt his thoughts with fear and pain.

And he could do nothing to stop it.

He was transported somewhere dark. Gargantuan trees soaring over his head, strong winds whipping at the exposed skin of his face. A strong aroma of arboreous forest invading his senses, awakening his mind.

Bucky was on the back of a motorbike, speeding dangerously down a dark road. Barely illuminated by the flickering light of his headlight. His gaze was trained on the vehicle in front, a white car driven by none other than his target. The man he was ordered to slaughter.

It all happened within seconds.

Bucky had pulled up by the side of the car, whipping out his gun and sending a bullet into the wheel of the automobile. Watching on in sick satisfaction as it spun of the road and collided into a tree. The Winter Soldier ignoring the pleas of his mind, a prisoner in his own body. Unable to do anything but watch as he took another innocent life.

He immediately pulled the bike next to the car, fighting with all his might to drive away. To leave the scene behind, to save a life for the first time in his history. But this was not real, no matter how much he begged it to be. It was a nightmare.

It was a memory.

He remembered popping the trunk of the car, taking the briefcase that sat there as if it were a gift from God. Clutching it in his human hand like a lifeline, more important than his own sanity.

And then he turned to his target.

He walked over to the wizened man, crawling along the ashen ground like a mere child. On all fours trying to escape his destiny, one that was already cursed into the stars. Bucky's metal fingers curling into his short, grey hair, pulling his face up to meet his devil. Eyes gazing up into his own undoing, the Winter Soldier.

But the man that Bucky saw was not just his target. Those chocolate eyes devoid of their usual cynical humor. The chestnut hair that used to frame his sculptured face, the smirk that used to permanently hang off his roseate lips. All those features that called to Bucky, although changed with age, reminded him of who his target was. The man that he used to be.

It was Howard Stark.

Allie's Howard.

Even Howard had remembered the monster that would bring the end of his life. The name of the person that the Winter Soldier used to be falling from his lips in disbelief. Unable to comprehend how the man who had gone missing all those years ago was standing before his very eyes, about to kill him.

And what did Bucky do? He buried his metal fist in Howard's face.

With behemoth force, he sent his curled fist hurtling into the already mangled face of the man that used to be his friend. The distinctive crunch of ivory bones shattering under his might punches. Crimson streams flowing from his open cavities like an untapped bounty. Slamming his fist again and again into the broken flesh of Allie's best friend. Silencing his howls of agony, silencing his mind.

After that, he forced himself awake. Somehow pulling himself out of his nightmare, bringing himself back to reality. Mummified in the feelings of horror. Insides churning with disgust.

He could feel beads of sweat dotting his forehead, burning against the cool moonbeams that streamed in through the gaps in the curtains. Heart palpitating in his chest, booming with the force of a jackhammer. Forcing the air from his chest.

But the guilt, the decaying monster that festered in his mind, rampaging his thoughts, he was a victim to it. Nausea erupting in his stomach as he realized that he killed Howard, slaughtered him. Assassinated him. Words all synonymous with Bucky's sin.

Allie's once best friend.

And here he was laying in her very embrace. Letting himself revel in her comfort when he had taken away the one person Allie had besides himself and Steve. Stolen another innocent soul from the world too early, an undeserving soul. One that never would have been taken if Bucky had just died when he fell from that train.

Her arms burned against his skin at the thought, a molten reminder of his guilt. Body trembling as he let those diseased notions captivate his mind, holding it hostage to the pain of his past.

So he silently rolled out of her hold, slumping on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Finger curling into the dark tresses of hair that fell down past his eyes and obscured his vision. His body stained with misery and malevolent sorrow.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, letting his dark thoughts march through his mind like a parade. Freefalling through a void of utter despair, a place no sane person dared to explore. A place where he unwillingly gave power to his past, letting it contort into a monstrous beast that would tear him apart if given the chance.

And he didn't have the strength to drag himself out of it.

But she did.

"Buck?" Allie whispered, her voice thick with sleep as she nestled her head into the crook of his neck. Gazing at him with a tenderness that threatened to melt the icy confines of his guilt.

"Are you okay?" She questioned, brows furrowed as she entwined her hand with his, fingers curling into the divets of his own and squeezing.

She had awoken to a bed that was cold, devoid of his warmth. Confusion immediately stirred within in her so she pushed herself up, straining her eyes and managing to catch sight of Bucky's bare back at the edge of the bed. Recognizing the telltale signs of mental affliction, a pain she knew all too well.

Running her free hand down the ivory skin of his back, Bucky shuddered at her touch. The physical reaction of his guilt, unable to savor the feeling that he normally experienced from her touch. Too caught up in the fact he murdered her best friend and she didn't now.

And he wasn't sure if he ever wanted her to know.

"Yeah, everything's fine, doll." He murmured, tightening his hold on her hand like a lifeline. Afraid that if he let go, she would take his secrets with her.

"Are you sure?" She asked, frowning as she noticed the slight trembling of his body against her own. Softly pressing light kisses on his bareback, where his marred skin met metal. Tracing the scars with an affection that left a fiery trail of heat in its wake.

"Yes, let's just go back to sleep." He mumbled, turning back around in her hold and placing light kiss on her forehead. Closing his eyes so she wouldn't notice the despair that swirled in his usually bright eyes.

"Okay." She whispered, not quite believing him but doing it anyway. Lightly pulling his body back into the bed with her, wrapped in each other's hold. Falling back asleep just as they did every other night. Her head rested on his smooth chest as his arm draped over her midriff.

But unlike all other nights, Bucky laid awake. Thoughts of what would happen if Allie ever found out about Howard overwhelming his mind like a malignant tumor. How she would react, what would she do, if she would leave him. Scenarios that left his eyes blurring slightly with unshed tears. Scenarios that he swore to never let happen. That he would do everything to prevent from occurring.

And to do that, Allie could never find out about it. And that's what he swore to do, to not tell her.

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WELCOME TO TRICKED MY LOVES!!!!

Im sorry for the late update! I held off on this one bc even though I said I was going to update every Monday (and its currently Tuesday...) it's Monday somewhere in the world! I have been a little stressed with school starting back so updates may not be as frequent as I would like them to be.

Anyway, its like Midnight and I haven't got some decent sleep in a while so I'll probably edit this chapter sometime tomorrow. If you do see some mistakes don't be afraid to let me know! It actually makes editing easier when you know what to look for lol

Also I'm currently debating putting Trickery into the Wattys... the first chapters really need to be rewritten and edited so they are at least readable but I'm way too lazy so idk.

Anyway,, onto the questions!!!

1. What do you think of the chapter?

2. What would you like to see in the next chapter?

3. What do you guys think of Tricked so far?

4.Chocolate or Strawberry?

Until next time!!!

— Grace