Though I can't
(Hol' up Hol' up) I walk on this seesaw that you aren't on (Hol' up Hol' up)
Like that time in the beginning
when you weren't here...

The YG family celebrated the wins of their group at the Golden Disk Awards. You went home quite late.
YG gave you the weekend off, no dance rehearsals, no vocal practices. Only a free leisure day. You got one of the managers and made an appointment to see them in the coming week. Is it now or never? All of you slept in.

You were so tired, but you had the most fantastic dream. You dreamt about Yoongi and you in a very loving relationship. You look so happy as a married couple. The love aura around you was so tangible. It felt like a lucid dream.

You were at a beach that looks like Busan or Jeju Island. It was as if winter just arrived at your door. You look so happy and comfortable near each other.

"Y/n ....y/n!!!!"

Then...Rose jumped on your bed to wake you for breakfast. The girls jumped on the bed and surprised you with a light breakfast. You felt so touched by the Blackpink girls. You came a long way: you, Jisoo and them.

You all sat around the bed. The girls have already eaten. Last night you asked them to let you sleep. It was 11 am.

After breakfast, you took a shower, dress and enjoyed fellowship with the girls in the tv lounge.

You watch a few comedy shows. You felt so inwardly happy. The life that you've envisioned is almost realising. You hope your girls will not feel devastated when you leave. You love them so much, but you need to love yourself more now.

The whole weekend you had so much fun. You baked, and BBQed in the backyard. You were forced to watch RunBts and Vlive with the girls.

https://youtu.be/SNUXT4aQgy8

To your amazement, your heartfelt light and you could watch Yoongi without the usual sadness. There is joy in your soul. The dream was almost like a farewell to your memories, and a new chapter is awaiting you.

It feels like your heart is ready to let go of Yoongi. Maybe it's almost time to meet your soulmate. You can't wait for that to happen.

You and the girls had personal Spa treatments.

They enjoyed every moment. Talking about the day they moved in.

The last day is Sunday. They make BBQ. You are a great cook who loves meat a lot. You taught Jenny how to make cocktails.

A special recipe you learned when the Second years went on a trip to Thailand and the barman was so mesmerized with you and taught you how to make all types of virgin cocktails.

https://youtu.be/hvBIzqad6Ng

Jisoo was supposed to be here because it was the girls last day in this house. Their fame has increased, and now obsessed fans liked to stalk them at home.

YG got them a new dorm in Gangnam, not far from the YG building.

You sat and drank your cocktails in the lounge. You clear your throat.

" Girls...Erm...You know this year I'm graduating and will be starting with my graduate studies...You are aware of that?" you stated nervously.

" yeh," Jennie look at you while taking a sip of the refreshing drink.

" We know you said you'd have to concentrate and not doing any performances or appearances till you graduate...silly", Rose laughs.

You smile and lick your lips and pout," My studies might not be in S.Korea."

"What do you mean...not in Korea!"Lisa yelp.

The girls look attentive but worried.

You exhale audibly and sighs, "I might be going to the US. But it's not finalised yet. I have to graduate first-"

Lisa jumps up, upset, "No ..no y/n you...You can't leave us...what are we going to do?"

Rose furrow her brows," Why?"

You started to tear up, and Jennie hugs you tightly, " I'm not happy with my life right now...You guys make me very happy, your my sisters, to perform with you is one of the highlights of my life...but I'm losing the essence of Ji-Ho.. I don't know who I am right now."

Rose and Lisa came in for a group hug as you all started to cry.

You wipe your eyes with your hem," I'm sorry, girls...I love you...but I can't play Jisoo for life...I need to live my own life..finding my way."

Lisa nod sadly," We are moving out next week, and you might be leaving...what are you going to do?"

You sigh," I want to study and pursue an acting career...You know that is my ultimate dream...and I want to explore new horizons."

Jennie looks at you with concern, "Did you talk to YG about your contract? Will they compromise?"

You shook your head," I'm having an appointment scheduled with them tomorrow first, then I'll make my final decision. If they agree, I'll always help you guys out if Jisoo gets sick. You know that"

Rose snorts," You are more the Blackpink member than Jisoo. You work so hard for us, Y/n.We want you to be happy."

Lisa smiles her beautiful smile," and we not going to lose you...we might tour in the US and then well meet up."

Jennie, with a worried tone," how did your family react and Jisoo? No more vacations for her?"

You pull your face," I don't dare to tell them, I still need to speak to YG first...and if we agree, I'll plan from there, but my Appa fully supports me...but my Eomeoni...that is another case...she's scary."

You already dread telling her. She'll rant off that you are selfish.

Jennie claps her hands," we as Blackpink will support you...You will win drama awards in no time."

Rose smiles" The public will know you as Jisoos talented twin sister...I can't wait for the public's response."

You chuckled," I still had to come clean with my "normal friends" at uni. I hope they don't hate me. I'm also going to be a partner in a business."

The girls squeal, "OMG! WOW!!!!"

Rose wide eyes," you are my hero. You did all that while overworking as a Blackpink member. I admire you, Ji-Ho.. You must tell the public about your life...ok not in detail ..but your life is a Kdrama!"

Everyone laughs at Roses' enthusiasm.

You smile," Please don't disclose it to Jisoo. I'm going to tell her myself by tomorrow. Sorry I'm not going to help you pack" you look apologetically at the girls, thinking about all the hard work,

Jennie giggles " no worries, the staff is going to help with the removals."

You felt as if a significant weight had been lifted from your soldiers.

You looked around. You were thinking about the reality programs that were shot in this house. You came to love this house. It was like your second home when you felt overwhelmed and hurt.

Rose looks teasingly at Jenny then at you," Jenny, I don't want to provoke you, but why are Suga's eyes always on you, Ji-Ho."

You spit out your re-filled cocktail drink. What the hell!

Jenny eyes shot up wider than her mouth," Urgh, Rose!" She pouts. She also wants to know the reason.

You smile," Didn't you know?, Jisoo was rude to him, and he gave her the August D treatment. I guess that's the reason why he looks at "us". He hates Jisoo."

Lisa frowns," But he never looks mad when he looks at you...especially when you are with us. He never actually looks at us with interest, even with Jisoo present?" Why is Lisa so observant? Now you have to be the actress you've always desired to be.

You smile but widen your eyes innocently with your hand on your mouth," Oh no!!!" Omg...no!!"

Jennie surprised?"What!"

You look as if you are filled with horror, "OMG...what if the Bangtan Boys figure out that I'm not the real Jisoo. They could expose us?"

Rose with shocked eyes," O-oh...but you act so well. I hope not?"

You feign a worrisome tone," but am I a good enough actress?"

Lisa pat you on your back," you are, don't worry...if YG agrees, then the public will know the truth, and nobody can expose anything."

But they still look worried. You hope the attention will be off you for a moment. The girls can never know about the two of your history. It was buried and forgotten.

The next day you call in and inform the lectures that you don't feel well and ask to excuse classes. It's your meeting with the managers and CEO.

You put on your most relaxed clothing. It's a bit chilly, but you decided to dress in a skirt and long knee-high boots and your Dior bag and rainbow sweater. With your make-up and hair -down, you almost pull off the Jisoo look. But your face is softer and Jisoo more fierce.

One of the managers came to fetch Blackpink. They'll be discussing their schedule for the whole term. January - March. It seems a concert tour will be in the making.

You and Blackpink will have a full schedule with a performance at Award show University festivals and many more.

The Allure Magazine shoot will be in the next week after the Seoul Music Awards.

.You found out that Saint Scott London Official Instagram shared some photos of its bags collection featuring Blackpink Jisoo, Jennie, Rose, and Lisa.

You weren't at this shoot, but Jisoo got this beautiful tan bag for you as a gift. Blackpink each got two free handbags. Jisoo took the backpack and gave you this one. You adored it.

You sat in with the group in discussing the schedule, and afterward, you went upstairs to your meeting. You felt the nervous butterflies, but you need to do it as soon as possible.

The girls hugged you and wished you well. You don't know what to expect. Although you told your managers about your contract.

The Ceo, Yang Hyun-suk, and two managers were in the boardroom. One female and one male.

They were waiting for you with smiling faces. You smiled back nervously. You bow down in a polite greeting in the direction of each manager.

Mr. Yang smiled and gestured to take a seat," Well, Kim Ji-Ho. is always a pleasure to see you. What is it that concerns you so much? As you know that YG is a family, and we would like everyone to be happy. So tell us dearly-"

You looked at each one of them and deeply inhaled before you gather your courage and speak your heart out.

After two hours of intense negotiation and reviewing your contract, you came to a suitable conclusion that will benefit both parties. The bottom line is YG doesn't want to lose you to any other Entertainment company.

You smiled in relief and signed your new revised contract with ease. Mr. Yang and the two senior management are satisfied. They gave you a copy and told you that they would review it again if you change your mind later.

Your contract will be in effect from the day of your graduation. You greeted the management and left the CEO's office with a renewed vigor in your step.

You mentally scratch out the accomplishment on your 10-point bucket list.-2017

1. Graduate with honors.
2. Get out of Jisoos shadow life -live as and be known as Y/N.☆
3. Get out of Blackpink's tight schedules and have more freedom☆
4. Go to the USA and Complete six months acting course
5. Do Graduate studies *US or Online
6. Get auditions and roles.
7. Win drama awards
8. Be famous as Y/N
9. Find a soulmate and move on from 《 M.Y.》
for good.
10. Business success with Yerin.

You scratch nr. 2 and 3 out. Now, you'll have to face your family, and you'll do it tonight.

Your hairstylist was waiting for you to re-dye your hair to red. Hopefully, your hair can rest from the abuse and become healthy again.

After you did your hair, it was already 3 pm. Blackpink was waiting for you in the private exit that all the kpop idols usually take.

The group looked anxious, but when they saw your demeanor, they clapped hands. Jisoo is at home with the family. She'll return Wednesday when the group will move.

" Can we celebrate whatever the results are with sushi, "Lisa suggests.

Jennie smiled," Why not? It is good news, hey Ji-Ho." she looks at you with anxious eyes.

You chuckle, " h-huh...yeh."

Rose exhale deeply," Does it mean we will still see you with Blackpink?"

You nod and smile," Yeh, but with more freedom to live my life-come girls, let's go. The "Dragon den" is waiting for me at home.

Lisa smiles, "As long as we don't completely lose you, Ji-Ho."

You grab all of them in a group hug and descent to the basement where your drivers are waiting for you to take you to your separate homes.

You brace yourself internally for what's about to face you at home.

A/N: Another update for all my Yoongi stans. I hope you loved the chapter. Don't forget to vote or comment if you like it.