Don't think about me anymore
All right, this repeating
seesaw game now
I finally try to end this(game)

Ji-Ho Pov

University was such an exciting time. April flew by in a flash. The drama arts lecturer was especially friendly. Everything he did was so theatrical. Walking and speaking. He is Ramona's favourite; if you speak up, you will get an easy A. Since you are a very calm actress, you wonder if you'll get it right.

Upon hearing that you are a celebrity in your country, he immediately liked you. Talk about favouritism isn't fair. Drama group members were amazed to hear that you're part of Blackpink, a very famous Korean pop group making waves in the US. No matter how well you defend your 5th membership status, it doesn't matter. You are "it" for them and not Jisoo.

The campus magazine quickly interviewed you for an article. You were asked ten questions. You gave them YG's contact information so that they can get permission. Cell phones and cameras were always out wherever you and your group of friends went. All that attention was already wearing you out.

You skyrocketed in popularity on campus soon after your Netflix cameo aired. They tweeted about it on every platform, including the official YG social pages.
As Ramona learned more about your life online, she became more impressed with your humility and grace. She doesn't believe you can be so famous and so down to earth, and now the entire campus is speculating about your soulmate status. Campus hotties asked you out daily.

You don't feel romantically attracted to any guy because you grow more in love with that "little kitten" who broke your heart. Dating any other guys would be unfair since you would never love them as you should. If your soulmate doesn't activate this bond, a very lonely, loveless future awaits you.

Then you will have to marry for friendship and companionship. But the passion of true love will be beyond your grasp. Only one Asian guy on campus doesn't care; he is a Tarnished, a classical "violin" music student and a model from Taiwan. He is adorable and hot. He comes from a wealthy Taiwanese family, and you are the epitome of what he wants in a girl.

Darren is his name, but you will only consider him if Yoongi activates the bond and you have a yellow or blue string, but right now, you love Yoongi with all your heart. Your feelings intensified after the half bonding, but it's just wishful thinking to think that you'll be a yellow or blue string. You can't date anyone else unless your soulmate gives permission (mutually) for you to do so. You're not so sure if Yoongi will let you be free or if you want to be free. He told you he didn't want to love you anymore. The decision seems unaffected by anything, and nothing will change it.

You enjoyed your graduate courses, but you are looking forward to taking acting classes this summer. With Ramona and Corey as your unofficial bodyguards, your fan base has grown. You and Corey had dinner with Ramona and her soulmate at her apartment yesterday. It was such a relaxing experience. Your friends have even come over for a Korean barbecue several times.

Your affection for your new friends grew every day. Despite his Tarnished status, Corey has a new girlfriend who might not be his soulmate.

Your mother has even criticised you for not calling her. It was your responsibility to contact me every day. You just rolled your eyes instead. She never had time to get to know you, so you don't have anything to say. She misses having her "unwanted" daughter now that you are gone.

It was announced that the spa would sponsor Miss Teen Korea as one of the prizes. Yerin and the team were doing well. You and Yerin could benefit from some exposure. She said Blackpink crew members have monthly spa appointments. They deserved to be thanked. Blinks even come for facials and manicures.

You and Yerin made your first 50 million won within three months. You even gave your staff a raise in recognition of all their hard work.

In June, Tzuyu and Mino will be married. You can at least spend two weeks at home before returning to acting camp. You were needed to assist Yerin with her bridesmaid duties. The spa will provide all beauty treatments for the wedding party.

You were so relaxed on Thursday afternoon. The previous night, you had a vivid dream about your soulmate. You can't get any rest with your mind. An excruciating pain shoots through your chest as a result of the soul mark acting out. Your body alerts you of the possibility of an impending breakdown after nearly four months. The effects are well known to you. You will both be in grave danger six months after the inactivation.

You're scared, but you're glad he didn't activate and left the bond uncompleted. When your heart is weak, you will die in a few weeks. It's also the worst for complete bonds without invigoration or energising. It can also be fatal after a month. As a performer, Yoongi is in the worst position because he rejected the bond.

There are already signs of migraines, depression, loneliness and fatigue. Jisoo secretly ordered the expensive serum to cool off the burning soul mark. It was mentioned to YG that you might not be able to perform in June at the university (because you will have a physical breakdown). However, she said you had acting exams coming up. You will let them know if anything changes.

Jisoo said that Allure and Dazed magazines sold out in South Korea within minutes. The Dazed magazine talks with YG to feature you in their Spring edition for a fashion spread, but YG will personally send you the brief and arrange meetings. The gift packets are at home, and they will meet with you in June.

Since her parents got her better medication and treatments, Jisoo felt more energetic and healthier.

Jisoo

Jisoo was so excited that she even e-mailed you the links of the magazine cover of you on Allure Magazine, as well as some of the local papers covering YG's reveal of you.

Jisoo's twin astonished the whole country even the Yonsei university was shocked to house a member of Blackpink. There were many questions for Tzuyu and Yerin. Some magazines even interview them. Good friends only tell the truth. They don't reveal deep secrets.

The entertainment section highlighted your cameo appearance. You received an audition brief from YG for the lead role in a new Korean drama. You were so excited, but you also felt sad because you didn't want to be in the same country as your soulmate. You and your sister have hurt him by deceiving him. How are you going to get his forgiveness? His words also hurt you.

Kitchens are your favourite rooms in the house. The frozen kimchi you bought from a Korean supermarket is ready to be heated. It made you miss home, but you love it there.

You and Ramona went grocery shopping a few days ago. You were so excited to get your car back a few weeks ago. Corey always teases you about your little cutie.

It looks delicious. You decided to dish up some in small plastic containers for Ramona and Corey. On Saturday, they will visit you, so you put it in the freezer.

You ate from a small blue bowl you had set out. Due to the busy schedule of classes, you didn't get a chance to eat lunch. Both you and Ramona have enrolled in acting classes in June. You have been studying for the midterm exams, and you haven't gotten much sleep for a long time.

The BP girls were your lifeline the past two days. Although you secretly miss performing, you attend Blackpink choreographies twice a week at YG-dance studios in Beverly Hills. The new single will be released very soon.

Jisoo sent you a private message after you finished eating your dinner. Does she have a mental illness? Texting at 4 am. Sleeping is impossible for her.

Then you went to the kitchen to place your bowl in the dishwasher with your iPhone in your hand. After a gulp of iced tea, you stood in the middle of the room to read her messages. There were a lot of missed calls.

It is hard to imagine life without your somewhat airhead of a sister. It also made your mom angry because you got a degree, speak a bit of English fluently, and can act, whereas Jisoo is only good at modelling, singing, and dancing. BP has often told you that you're like BTS Jungkook, the golden Unnie.

Chichoo: Hi sis...how are you doing 😚Been calling several times last night...are you ignoring me😟.

A smile spreads across your face. Jisoo is such a drama queen. You replied with a smirk.

You: Sorry, Chichoo. I went out with Ramona and the gang last night.😁😀
How was your variety show with the Bangtan brothers?

BTS and Blackpink were invited to appear on a game show. Since you aren't in Korea, you are so happy that you aren't scheduled to replace Jisoo.

It sounded like she was very excited.

Chichoo: Wow... Jhope and the Maknae-line are energetic. Yoongi and Rapmon were more reserved...but Jin-oppa is hilarious. He is so hot I stan him!

A giggle escaped your lips. Since the Got7 scandal, Jisoo hasn't been on a date. Then she texted something that made you furrow your brow in confusion. She did what?

Chichoo: I'm afraid you'll kill me; don't do it or disown me as your most beautiful, talented and amazing older sister.😬😰😓

You: Oh-oh, what have you done now? Why would I kill you, Chi🙉

Chichoo: Yeah, I gave your pendant back to your savaged ex...😨

OH MY GOSH!!! S...She did w..what!!You feel anger building inside of you. Hmmm...how could you have done something like that.

You: SAY WHAT!!CHICHOO!It belongs to me...I'll never see it again 😠😢💀

Tears threatened to burst from your eyes. Your soulmate gave you that pendant as a token of love. It was meant to energise you from the soulmark ache. There's nothing left for you. Zilch!!

Chichoo: I'm so sorry, but...I couldn't help myself...I had to see his reaction...and why did he look crushed?😕😑

He will be crushed. It was his connection to you.

You: How do I know he will be crushed? He hates me, you know.😕😟

-Chichoo: I apologise, sis. I guess I just wanted to talk to him a little. I just can't get over the fact that you two liked each other...Oh my goodness, I almost forgot...You won't believe what happened after the show backstage...

After you calmed down, you inhaled. You forgive your sister so easily for all the mistakes she made in the past. She must really find bts bad boy alluring... you spend a whole night with him... and you berate yourself not to allow FATE to lure you into uncharted waters. The key to this locked door was thrown into the depths of the deep sea. Never to be revisited...a secret that you both promise no one should ever know.

You sigh. You were going to hear it now...How hot the guys are?. ..etcetera .. .etcetera...

You: Tell me...because I know you're dying right now.😐

Chichoo: After four years of lusting after Min Yoongi, Jennie finally built up the courage to ask him out...and he accepted.😮😰She shared her picture online yesterday, and she trended number 1 on Twitter. #jenmin#yoonie#minjennie...my gosh, their ARMY and our Blinks went crazy.😃😃😃😃😂😂😂😂😁😁😁😅😅LOL, Funny that Yoongi never got into dating scandals except with that slag Suran who says they're soulmates. 😃Jennie is like their Jimin, who is constantly making headlines for scandalous behaviour.

After reading that text, your heart was in your throat. You were stunned, more speechless. Shock paralysed your entire body. As you forced out a text, the words blurred as you didn't want your sister to know what was going on.

Your fingers trembled as you wrote.

You: Oh my gosh!!!😨😲

Chichoo:😁That's unbelievable. It seemed like they made out...the girls thought they made out ...when we left the studio, they smirked at each other... Jennie wasn't interested in getting into the details of their conversation. I'm going to kill her...She doesn't want to tell us anything except that her lips are zipped ... jeez.

You gasped loudly as tears rolled down your face. Although you couldn't breathe, you continued to read the text over and over. Still, it didn't register well.

Chichoo: I'll send you a pic she posted on her Facebook account. She already has 1.5 million likes on Twitter and 60k likes on Facebook. There has been a rise in Instagram page views. Everything about Bangtan made news...their shippers went wild...the fandom seems to love them together...but Army is not an easy fandom...they don't want them dating!!! The war is about us using Yoongi as clout to promote our upcoming single...Now we're famous...Our agencies need to confirm the dating rumour.

Jisoo had sent a picture.

You:......

Chichoo:😮😮😮sis?????

You:.....

Chichoo: Please don't do that to me again...just leave our chat!!! It's not nice...not nice at all.😠😕😬😠😠😠

Chichoo: ??????? What the heck!

Chichoo: Yeah...okay, let's assume your cell battery is flat again...every time you talk to us. Well, have a great day tomorrow at Uni. I'll call you when you're about to wake up, and I'm about to go to sleep. Love you.😃😙😙😙😘😘😘😚😚😚

Nothing was registered. The shock waves of this news caught you off guard so unexpectedly that you stumbled backwards against the fridge and dropped your cell phone on the beige porcelain tiles after reading those "evil" text messages.

Slipping to the ground against the fridge, your hands grabbed inside your hair as you began to whimper broken-hearted.

It burst out in uncontrollable sobs as you exclaimed, "Oh no! God help me... No...not Yoongi!". You couldn't care less about the cracked, shattered phone, and your heart was broken into millions of shards. Breathing became irregular...it felt as if you were drowning underwater with no one to save you. It was like a tide that drew you deeper into despair.

https://youtu.be/q33Yvs66rCI

With your head on your knees, you were weeping and sniffling with uncontrollable tears streaming down your cheeks. Your excruciating pain right now is knowing Jennie is dating your secret soulmate.
The pain is too much to bear. You lost your soulmate into the arms of the "sister" you love so much. My goodness! Without your soulmate, how will you survive? Your love for him is strong.

Oh, my goodness! The fact that you gave back his love pendant may have made him act in revenge. Will you be able to face the girls without breaking down before Jennie.

You cannot perform any Blackpink related activity. You tried to wipe your tears, but they are too stubborn to stop. The more you wipe, the more they flow as if they were living water.

As you sat and wailed on the floor, you had no memory of the time that passed. You looked up, and you sensed the darkness around you. You used to be scared of the dark, but now it seems like you have lost interest. It's almost like the light in you matches the darkness around you.

When you tried to stand up, you realised that it was almost 8 p.m. You cried for nearly an hour on the floor. Seeing your phone screen makes your eyes widen, but nothing matters at the moment.

Jisoo made several missed calls. She noticed something wasn't right because she has a twin connection. There was a missed call from both your parents. There were countless "loving" images in your head of Minjennie. However, you are unable to talk to them all.

You couldn't believe your worst nightmare had come true. It will be impossible for you to live with the knowledge of Jennie in Yoongi's arms. Fear grips your heart as you swallow hard. Maybe it was just a nightmare that you needed to wake up from.

After walking to your bathroom in the dark, you splash cold water on your face without switching on the wall lamps. The rims of your eyes are red and swollen. You searched the medicine cabinet for your sleeping pills, and with the small pill container, some of the bottles and tubes fell to the floor. Since your mind is not working right now, you sluggishly moved to your bedroom. As you throw the bedcovers over your head after taking some sleeping pills, you fall into slumber with a broken heart...it is too numb to register the pain...

Despite the damage to your phone, you received frantic missed calls...

Here is a new update for my Yoongi-fans. I hope you are still safe and healthy. Seesaw appreciates your love and support.

It has reached a number of 8k+reads.

Did you like the new Permission to Dance mv? It was so awesome!!!

https://youtu.be/CuklIb9d3fI

Question 1:What are your thoughts on Jisoo text revelations?

Question 2: What do you think went down between Yoongi and Jennie?

Question 3: Is there a possibility that Yoongi could move on and date Jennie?

Question 4: Will the sensitive Ji-Ho survive without her soulmate and move on?

Shout out to the new readers, voters and commenters and those who added Seesaw to their readers' list. I hope you've enjoyed the journey thus far. I love you all. All the shadow readers, please vote or comment so that I can get to know you.

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