𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒.
chapter one; Aptitude For Selfishness
" It just means I'm not Abnegation. "

  MARLOWE PRIOR ALWAYS thought it was sort of funny. That Caleb, Beatrice, and she found themselves so close in age. Because, when one really looked at the facts, Marlowe had mere months on Caleb Prior. But, both Caleb and Tris went known as Marlowe's little siblings. But, this wasn't the only advantage it gave her.

  She would be the first of the three to endure the Choosing Ceremony.

  As the days crept closer, it felt as though the home itself knew. That this was the last time Marlowe would wear grey clothes and a mask of humility to match. She would no longer awake from her thin mattress to help factionless or stare hungrily into a mirror once every three months.

  Her parents knew what faction she'd pick. Marlowe had known since she watched Dauntless run to catch the never-ending trains, hurling themselves onto the transportation like careless catapults. It was the only one she could thrive in.

  "You're not picking Abnegation, are you?"

  Marlowe never felt guilty about her selfishness. Despite Abnegation teaching her it was the worst thing a person could be, the girl never let this idea seep much further than her skin. But if the one person in the world, Beatrice Prior could send Marlowe tripping on her own selfishness in the blink of an eye.

  "Hey," Marlowe said quietly, taking a seat on her little sister's bed, "Did Caleb say something?"

  "He just knows you're leaving."

  Marlowe pressed her eyes closed for a long moment. She loved both of her siblings, honestly, at the core of her heart were their little faces. But Caleb had a knack for sharing information that wasn't necessarily helpful or needed.

  "You know I'll always love you, right, Bea?" Marlowe asked quietly, "This doesn't change that?"

  "What if I never see you again?"

  "Hey, you can't think like that," The brunette said stronger, standing only to crouch in front of the fifteen-year-old, "I'm your big sister. It is my only job in life to annoy and protect you."

  Beatrice almost smiled at that.

  "I'm not picking Abnegation, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you and Caleb and Mom and Dad. It just means I'm not Abnegation."

  And Beatrice trusted her, because that's what she was supposed to do.

  "Come on, we have to get to school— I have an Aptitude Test today."

↬

  Marlowe wished more than ever that she'd been born into another faction when she walked into school. Everybody had something. The Amity were full of bubbly laughter, linking arms as they walked between classes, Candors stuck together in tight-knit groups. Erudites were too smart for their own good and chatted about any and everything under the sun— and Dauntless. Oh, how Marlowe could daydream about boys in all black and girls with tattoos— her only wish to be one of them as they scaled the outside of the Hub on dares.

  But, no. She was Abnegation. She was hiding in the shadows so they don't get you. She was silent. She was letting others pass. She was everything ingrained in her head and not the things trapped in a golden birdcage deep within her chest.

  The days always went on slowly, but today seemed downright painful. Classes dragged on, but Marlowe could confidently say not a single jab had bothered her because by the time she was sitting in wait for her test, she was done. There would be no more schooling, no more bullies and jealously and silence.

  She'd be free.

  "From Abnegation; Mary Lewis and Marlowe Prior."

  Marlowe stood on shaky legs, entering a mirrored room without any visible fear. Her test administrator was a tall man, with a tuft of ginger hair. She had to hide her excitement at the sight of his tattoos— how wonderful to meet a Dauntless for the first time. Really meet one.

  "This'll be quick and painless, I swear," He smiled a clumsy smile, readying a machine that made the girl only slightly nervous, "I'm Colson."

  "Marlowe."

  "I got that, from the. . ." Colson gestured to a sheet of paper on the cold metal surface, pressing an electrode to the brunette's forehead gently as she laughed, "But, it's nice to meet your acquaintance. Not everybody's so chatty with Dauntless."

  "Don't see why not, you're, like, the most interesting people in this place."

  Colson smiled.

  "You're a nice kid, Marlowe," He held out a vial of clear liquid, "Can't say I'd be upset if you were Dauntless."

  Marlowe took the vial and let it drain down her throat quickly, wanting nothing more than to keep proving herself to Colson. And it seemed to be working, because he nodded and mumbled something about how she was the first without a question. But before Marlowe could bask in this, her eyes pressed closed and she was somewhere else entirely.

  The cafeteria. Two baskets. A knife, and a large chunk of cheese.

  "Choose."

  The voice echoed in her head as she stared at the options. If she were put into a dangerous situation and needed the knife, but chose cheese, she'd die. But, if she were put into a safe situation and chose the knife, Marlowe simply wouldn't use it.

  The weapon felt foreign in her soft, giving hands. Marlowe nervously re-adjusted her grip, scanning the room for anything. As she completed the circle, the baskets were gone, and behind the long table she stood at the end of, was a snarling dog.

  A snarling dog that was very quickly beginning to pursue her.

  Now, Marlowe knew she had the stupid knife, but she had no idea how to use the stupid knife, so she ran. But, very quickly, she discovered the feeling of being chased, the dread of it, was far worse than facing the horror.

  So, Marlowe veered around the edge of a table, crouching behind it. She held out the knife, pointed away from her, and squinted her eyes so they were nearly closed, her eyelashes distorting the sight in front of her.

  She felt the dog's impact, its limp head resting on her forearm. Marlowe very quickly let go of the knife handle, stood, turned away from the horror scene, and threw up.

  And, as soon as she was done, she found herself in a new area.

  A man sat silently on a lone bus seat, brandishing a newspaper headlined with 'MURDER STRIKES AGAIN!' for Marlowe to see.

  "Do you know this man?"

  Marlowe furrowed her brows at his sudden question, following his finger to the photo. He looked familiar. Not that any name came to mind, but, yes, Marlowe knew him. Yes, of course. But, as she looked to meet the man's eyes, dread engulfed her.

  "No."

  "No, you do!"

  "I don't."

  "You could save me, if only you know him!"

  "I have no idea who that is."

  "You're lying."

  "No," Marlowe's voice stayed even, "I am not."

  And then, Marlowe was at the base of a building. She was staring up at the top, which seemed to disappear into the clouds, when loud voices rang in her ears.

  "I dare you to climb it."

  She turned quickly, only to find a sea of black clothing. Dauntless. Daring her.

  "Climb it."

  "We dare you."

  "I dare—"

  "She won't do it—"

  "I dare you to touch the top—"

  Marlowe turned back to the building, blocking out overlapping voices drilling holes in her skull. She knew she could walk away. They weren't holding her hostage, she wasn't going to be hurt if she didn't climb the building. It was a dare.

  But that hunger returned with a vengeance— Marlowe wanted to be accepted. She wanted to prove to the Dauntless that she could hang. That she wasn't weak.

  So Marlowe began climbing.

  It was easy once she got her foot on the first window sill. Okay, that was a lie, it wasn't easy at all. Marlowe had never been short, but right now she didn't exactly feel tall, stretching her thin frame between whatever protruding ledges she could cling on to. Her breath was shorter the higher she got, and when she dared to sneak a glance at the sea of Dauntless, Marlowe nearly lost her grip.

  She'd never known she had a fear of heights until that moment.

  Colson seemed impressed. This was the first thing Marlowe noticed when she awoke. Aside from the thin layer of annoyance that she'd not been allowed to reach the peak of the building. He congratulated her on completing the test, before getting to what she needed to know.

  "Well, you chose the knife— an instant indication of Dauntless. Although you ran, at first, you did end up killing the dog, in a pretty smart and not exactly conventional way. So, Amity was ruled out. Then, you lied to the man, so Candor was out, and you held that lie even when it would save him, so Abnegation is ruled out, too. You walked away from the dare you'd have been Erudite. But, congrats, Marlowe, you got Dauntless."

  "You're serious?"

  "As a heart attack."

  Marlowe couldn't contain her excitement, letting out a sound of joy as she jumped out of the seat, glad Colson had previously de-wired her or else she may have broken some expensive equipment.

  "Thank you, Colson!"

  "Hey, that," The man gestured to the seat, "Was all you. Just remember, you're all Dauntless."

  Marlowe's grin grew, and didn't disappear until her father asked her how her test had gone over dinner.

  "Good."

  "What'd you get?"

  "Beatrice, you aren't supposed to share your Aptitude Test results," Their mother reminded gently, "They're Marlowe's to know."

  "But, what will you choose?"

  "We will see tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony," Their father smiled at Beatrice, hungry for answers from her sister, "Now, I believe it's time for bed."

  Beatrice and Caleb didn't argue, because they, unlike their sister, were good children. They began to clear the table, until Marlowe shocked everyone.

  "Why don't you guys hop off to bed, and I'll help Mom and Dad clean up?"

  "Can you say goodnight before you go to sleep?" Caleb asked his sister halfway down the hall.

  "Promise."

  Caleb smiled, before hurrying after Beatrice.

  "So," Andrew Prior began, helping his wife and oldest daughter clear the table as they began to wash dishes, "Big day tomorrow?"

  "Yeah," Marlowe smiled a wobbly grin, "Big day."

  "We understand that you'll choose another faction, Marlowe," Natalie Prior spoke gently, "And whatever it is, they will be lucky to have you."

   Andrew said nothing, but this alone was enough to send a strike to the bundle of nerves in Marlowe's stomach.

  "Andrew," Nataline warned.

  "What?" He asked defensively, "Marlowe is brilliant, and kind— she belongs here."

  "I don't fit in here, Dad." Marlowe laughed quietly.

  "Sure, you do."

  "I didn't get Abnegation on my test."

  "Oh," Andrew nodded slowly, "Oh, that's alright, Marlowe, you're still one of the kindest kids I know."

  The compliments Abnegation parents gave their children were always. . . fair. They were equal and polite and gray and bland. Just for once, Marlowe wanted to be better than someone down the street. She wanted to be smarter or prettier or funnier. She was sick of manners and niceness, it was suffocating.

  "I think I'll head to bed, too," Marlowe announced once the dishes were cleaned, dried, and put away, "I love you, both."

  "We love you, too," Natalie smiled, kissing Marlowe's forehead.

  Andrew hugged the girl, sending her off to bed for the final time. But Marlowe made a promise so she stopped in her siblings' room before finding her own.

  "You asleep?"

  "No," Two voices harmonized, making Marlowe grin as she slunk further in.

  "Wanna know what I got on my test?"

  "I thought you weren't supposed to tell us?"

  "Rules are meant to be broken, Caleb," Marlowe whispered, taking a seat on the ground and magnetizing her little siblings to join her.

  "So, what'd you get?"

  "Dauntless," She whispered with a bright smile, "It was between Erudite and Dauntless, but I got Dauntless, Bea."

  "Woah."

  "So, you're choosing Dauntless tomorrow?"

  "Yeah," Marlowe informed with less excitement, patting down Caleb's rebel hair, "Yeah, I'm choosing Dauntless, bud."

  "We'll miss you."

  "I'm not dying, guys," She forced a laugh, "But, promise to help Mom and Dad out? And not in the Abnegation way, the real way?"

  "We promise."

  "Okay," Marlowe smiled softly, tugging both of her siblings under her arms, "Now, do you two remember Mom's story of when I first met you guys?"

  "No."

  "Well, I wasn't even a year old, and all of a sudden this loud, crying Caleb kid pops up. . ."

  Marlowe Prior had only felt like she belonged in Abnegation on that day. With her siblings on the ground of their bedroom, recounting memories of her that were not her own. The three fell asleep like that, in a melting pot of sibling love.

  Normally, Marlowe found herself at odds with one of them. Because Caleb was the golden child or Beatrice was berating herself for not being that. But tonight, none of that mattered. Because, for all Marlowe knew, she'd never see her siblings again.

( AUTHOR'S NOTE. )
Marlowe's already one
of my favorite characters,
I love making MC's that like. . .
aren't good. Like Marlowe's
selfish and greedy but
I LOVE HER? I'm so
excited about this book
geez.