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( seventeen. awakened hope )

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Steve Rogers had undoubtedly been through a lot of not so pleasant things in his life, yet these past weeks had somehow topped it all. The Avengers were no more, he basically went from America's hero to America's public enemy number one, friends became strangers, and yet, here he is, walking on the ground where the wisest king of the most advanced technological country in the whole universe lies.

With all the truck of shitload he and everyone else faced recently, he's glad to receive a shred of goodness come out of this; one that gives him hope that things can eventually be fixed, will eventually be alright.

Still, it doesn't mean he's not unhappy. "You sure about this?" he asked, a worrisome look plastered on his bruised face as he glanced at his best friend.

Bucky gave a defeated sigh, as if there was really no other choice. "I can't trust my own mind," he decided. Even though Steve badly wanted to oppose, he couldn't, because they both know it wasn't exactly a lie, and Bucky spared him the pain by making this choice on his own accord. "So until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody."

After a brief pause, Steve nodded sadly. Really, what else could he say to make this better? He was about to say his goodbyes when Bucky spoke again, "Promise me something?"

Steve's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he didn't hesitate to answer. "Yeah?"

Bucky pursed his lips. "Make things right with her." Her. Even though he mentioned no name, they damn well both know who he was talking about.

It was evident in the blonde's face, the way it shifted from confusion, to realization, then desolation. It took him a few seconds to be able to form a response, and when he finally did his voice quavered just a little "I... I don't know." His head hung low, "I hurt her too much."

"Yeah, I know." Bucky returned without missing a beat, almost wanting to roll his eyes that they were about to go through this again. Typical Steve.

"I'm sorry, I just—I don't know if I can promise you that. I'm not sure if she even wants to see me anymore."

"And how do you know that?"

Steve sighed, "Well, for one, she didn't pick up my call." 

"You know, sarcasm really isn't a good luck for you." Bucky quipped, scrunching his face exaggeratingly. Steve gave him an unamused look. This time, Bucky did roll his eyes. "Look, I'm not asking you to dive back into a relationship with her. I'm just saying—make things right. You know you screwed up big time and I think the least you can do is to fix it back."

Steve kept quiet. He knew Bucky was right, usually he'd be the one making some sense here but this time it was Bucky who actually smacking some sense into him. It's not that he didn't know it, but he was still reluctant on whether it was the right time to do something about this. He just felt like it was so sudden, and that they needed time to let wounds heal. "I'll try," he said.

"Do or do not. There is no try." Bucky recited.

Steve raised an eyebrow, surprised, "You know Star Wars?"

Bucky shrugged. "I watched Empire Strikes Back during my hiatus. Though, I didn't have the chance to watch Return of the Jedi because I had to bomb the UN," he finished sarcastically.

Steve grimaced, "That was too soon."

Bucky noticed it too and smiled apologetically. He and his dark humor. "Sorry." He shifted in his seat, his voice dropped lower, "But I'm serious about what I said."

"I know." Steve smiled feebly. "This isn't about me, it's about her."

"Good, you're catching up pretty quick for a 100 year old man." Bucky quipped. 

Even though smiles were evident on their faces, there was still a tinge of emptiness lingering behind it. The air was filled with hesitance. Everything seemed hollow, sounded quiet. 

"Can I ask you something?" Steve said, and the tone in his voice made it look like this conversation was nearing its end.

And Bucky sensed that, nodding for him to continue.

"Did you really love her?" Steve asked plainly. He didn't ask out of jealousy nor dread, just out of mere curiosity. He really wanted to know the truth, because they never really gotten a chance to speak about it before in a serious level.

Now was the time.

Bucky sighed, his head dropping to glance at his lap. Silence ensued for quite a long time between them, and he couldn't look at Steve in the eye because, even though it wasn't, his answer sounded a form of betrayal to his own ears. Because the truth causes nothing but pain.

"I did." Finally, Bucky glanced up to let him see the sheer honesty glimmering in his eyes. "But I don't feel that way now."

Steve didn't show a sign of relief, because worry was something he never had in the first place. It wasn't his intention when he asked that question. 

Still, Bucky kept going, "Besides, even if I still do, it wouldn't matter." He clasped Steve's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "because she loves you, Steve."

It was the right thing to say. Because the smile that came across the little guy from Brooklyn's lips this time, finally reached his eyes.

Because Bucky damn well knows that Steve loves her too. And he can sleep soundly tonight knowing that these two were eventually going to find their way back to each other's arms again, as they always have. Since 1943.

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When Bucky was finally returned to cryogenic sleep, Steve thanked the Wakanda King, T'Challa, for everything he's done and promised to return the favor someday.

"You will not stay?" T'Challa asked him, eyebrows knitted together.

Steve shook his head, and declined politely. "There's something I need to do first."

After hearing his answer, T'Challa showed no hint of surprise. "Of course," the Wakanda King said, his corner of his lips curving upwards, "always the man with a plan."

Steve chuckled, and shook his hand farewell.

When he finally got outside, he stopped for a while to enjoy the view. He took in the fresh scent of the trees and the sweet smell of flowers akin to a meadow in spring. He could've closed his eyes and relish in the sanctuary of nature, even if it means only for just a short time, because he hadn't had the chance to rest since the war 75 years ago. And he's starting to think that he never will.

Swallowing the thick lump on his throat, he rummaged through his pockets and took out a necklace, brushing his thumbs where the emerald-green stone lies. He didn't even have the strength to grip it tightly around his fingers. He was just so tired, and so alone. He needed her. He needs her.

So, he made up his decision.

"You're going after her, aren't you?"

Sam.

Steve almost forgot he was here, and he was glad that he was. But he couldn't afford to let him partake in another marathon under the shadows. This was his mission after all. And he won't rests until he finds her. "You don't have to come with me," Steve said.

"I know," Sam returned promptly.

But it didn't shock Steve when he said, once more, 

"When do we start?"

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Okay so I said this was supposed to be an epilogue, and I didn't lie. This IS an epilogue to act one. I originally planned to end this book here but it bothered me that it's only, like, 16 chapters long while the first book is like 26 chapters lol.

So, I decided to just split it into two.

The next half of the book will be following the events of Black Widow! :)

SO PLEASE WAIT FOR MY UPDATES IM EXCITED TO WRITE YELENA MY QUEEN AND MORE ROMANOGERS