I'm back after god knows how long.

  »»————- ☆ ————-««

( sixteen. new beginnings )

»»————- ☆ ————-««

Natasha took a look at herself in the mirror. She looked like hell. She hadn't slept peacefully for days, and the dark bags under her eyes were becoming more prominent with each morning she woke up to. Not even her newly chopped blonde hair was enough of a disguise to cover how tired she is.

Her eyes dropped to the phone on the countertop, and she had to huff a dry laugh at how pathetic the situation showing on her screen was.

More guards kept coming, searching for where she stood.

"Natasha Romanoff is in violation of the Sokovia Accords," Ross' voice sounded throughout the building, through her phone as she monitored the live footage. "She assaulted the king of Wakanda. Make an example out of her."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Let them try," she muttered under her breath before dialing a number. 

He immediately picked up on the second ring. "Yeah?" She heard Ross' voice on the other end.

"Don't do this," she demanded, and her tone was more intended to sound as a warning than a request.

She could practically smell his overbearing ego all the way from here when he scoffed and retorted, "Do what?"

"Come after me," Natasha said dryly, tossing a discarded candy wrapper into the trash bin. She continued, quite mockingly, "I mean, you're embarrassing yourself. It looks desperate."

"Thought maybe you'd be calling me to cut a deal," Ross replied evenly, ushering the guards to follow the cell signal. "'Cause from my vantage point, it's the federal fugitive who's desperate."

Natasha, not sounding the least bit threatened, even had the will to ridicule him, "From my vantage point, you look like you could use some bed rest. What is this, your second triple bypass?"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about me." Ross said nonchalantly, and he just sounded so assured of himself that Natasha wanted to smack him so hard in the head. "We got Barton, we got Wilson and that other guy, the incredible shrinking convict."

Natasha smirked. Obviously Ross wasn't yet aware of the current whereabouts of the people he just mentioned, "Are you sure about that?" she asked slyly.

"Your boyfriend's on the run." Ross ignored her as he pointed out, and she almost lost her composure at the mention of him, it's a good thing Ross couldn't see her. "And last time I heard, things haven't been smooth with you lately." 

She deflected the topic, "So are we going to talk about my personal life now?"

Ross laughed humorlessly, "You've got no friends, Romanoff," his tone dropped, "So, where you gonna go?

Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat. "I've lived a lot of lives before I met you, Ross." She said, putting on her hoodie. "You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. I'm done."

"Romanoff—" 

She hanged up, and stepped outside the door to get a nice view of the mountains of Norway in a lone ship in the sea. Hugging the hoodie she was wearing closer to her body, she melted in its warmth. And she loved it even more because this was Steve's, and the scent of him remained and reminded her of him more.

Her fingers reach out to touch the nape of her neck, where her missing necklace used to be around, and she felt her stomach twisted and clench at the idea that it was a symbol of everything that she and Steve was.

And she's mad at herself for letting her lose such a valuable thing, but maybe it's a symbolic  notion to their current state.

After all, the cost of love is, sometimes, loss.

——————————————————————————————

8 HOURS EARLIER...

"You have to go after him, Nat." 

"And why the hell would I do that? He left me here."

Clint rolled his eyes. "Now's not the time to get so petty. I'm starting to think this new attitude of yours came from your new hair color."

"Shut up, Barton." She walked past him to get another load of her things and began stuffing it into her bag. "I am not being petty," she growled. "This isn't even about us, it's about him leaving a teammate out of the blue after doing so much for him."

"You and I both know that Steve would never do that," Clint argued, "and that's why he came back for us."

"Yeah," she sarcastically agrees, "And I'm happy for you. But I'm done running after him, alright? I'm sick of being treated like a sack of potatoes that he can just throw to the side whenever he wants. Besides, he didn't even have the decency to tell me where he was heading."

"Because he didn't want to put you in that position!" Clint defended, scoffing, "Come on, Tasha, you of all people should understand what that means. He knows Ross and Stark and everyone back there would be after you the second you let them escape. It wasn't the right time to tell you."

"Apparently, any time isn't the right time for him at all."

Clint let out a sigh of annoyance. "He tried to talk to you." Natasha stilled her movements, her back still facing him as he went on, "Yesterday, before he got us out. He tried calling you."

"That's a lie."

"It's not!" Clint persisted, "he said you never answered so he never bothered calling you again! He's done enough to hurt you and he knows that."

"Why are you so quick to defend him? I thought you were on my side." Natasha answered, trying to deflect the conversation.

"I'm not on anyone's side," Clint chastised, sighing.

Natasha quickly grabbed her burner phone and checked for any missed calls. Indeed, there was one unknown number. She gulped when he glanced back at Clint, who raised an eyebrow as if to say I told you so. "I doubt he still wants me to find him."

"He does," Clint assured her, "If he didn't, he never would've told me where he was heading," he walked closer to her, grasping her shoulders gently to try and get her to see reason. "Tasha, he needs you. And you need him too."

With a defeated sigh, she finally decided to listen. 

——————————————————————————————

Going back to the Avengers compound was already difficult as it is. Somehow, the walls seemed much duller, and the floors were more darker. The light wasn't bright enough to illuminate the corridors no matter how many they were. And despite the commotion from all the people working in the compound, it just felt so empty inside. 

Tony was devastated. Anyone who watches him in silence knows that he masks his pain with his witty remarks and half-ass jokes. And it just proved how much Tony Stark, despite all the arguments and misunderstandings, valued his friendship with Steve Rogers as much as the latter did. Or at least, what he used to think.

And for Steve to let his team, his friends, his family all down in just a snap... god, guess he wasn't as honorable as everyone thought him to be.

Tony was distracted, staring idly at the giant "A" logo that represented the entirety of the Avengers from where he was seated. He gulped harshly, feeling the pang in his chest. The events of the past days came rushing back to him, and it only hurt more every time he remembered it.

For a slight fraction, a loud thud from the hall made him snap out of his daze. Curiously, he walked out the hall to see the cause of the commotion only to rush to Rhodey's aid once she saw him crumpled on the ground.

"Rhodes, you okay?" he hurried to make a move to help him up when he was still struggling, "Let's go, I'll give you a hand—"

"No, no. Don't help me." Rhodey held out his hand to stop him, dealing with it on his own.

Tony sighed at his stubbornness but slowly retracted his hand. Rhodey sat by his side on the floor instead, grunting as he tried to shift his weight to be more comfortable.

Silence fell over them.

And Rhodey could see the guilt appearing once more on his best friend's face. "138," he suddenly said, and Tony turned to him with confused eyes, "138 combat missions. That's how many I've flown. Every one of them could've been my last, but I flew them. Because the fight needed to be fought."

Tony said nothing, and Rhodey made a mental note that this was the longest time that Tony Stark had ever listened to somebody.

"It's the same with these Accords." Rhodey concluded, "I signed because it was the right thing to do. And yeah, this sucks, this is uh... this is a bad beat. But it hasn't changed my mind." He gave him a short smile, adding, "I don't think."

Tony, reluctantly, returned the smile. He then offered his hand out to him once more. Rhodey only stared at it for a while, before finally accepting his help and standing up. "You okay?" he asked when he groaned again.

"Yeah," Rhodey assured.

Their attention was turned to the knock coming on their door. An old man, well, old enough to be a mail carrier that is, was holding a package in his hands and was standing in front of the facility's entrance. "Are you Tony... " He trailed off, taking a glance at the package. "Stank?"

Rhodey had to bite back the snicker struggling to escape while Tony gave him a flat look. Rhodey pointed his thumb at him, answering the mailman, "Yes, this is Tony Stank. You're in the right place. Thank you for that! Never dropping that by the way." He said, walking away, "Table for one, Mr. Stank! Please, by the bathroom."

Tony pretended to be further annoyed, but the situation got a laugh out of him too. Nevertheless, the sound was enough to fill the emptiness of the compound, as this was the first time they shared genuine laughter in a long time.

As soon as Tony received his package, the question in his eyes never left him. He couldn't think of anyone on earth to possibly send him something. He retreated back to his desk and quietly tore the tape away from the package, snapping it open. 

His movement slowly came down to a stop as his fingers pulled out a folded piece of paper, one that looks to be a letter and was addressed to him.

Tony, it simply read.

By the handwriting, he already had an inkling from who it came from. He turned the package over and a flip phone slipped out of the box.

Jesus, he really was an old man.

Tony sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he leaned over his desk. He sure as hell didn't know what he was supposed to feel from this. And he couldn't read this letter now, not when all he has left are fresh wounds from the battle that haven't had the chance to heal yet.

He needed more time to think, to tinker.

Tinker. Yes, lab.

His lab was always a place he could be himself.

——————————————————————————————

"Are you alright, Mr. Stark?" FRIDAY asked him.

Tony busied himself into wielding a bunch of metal scraps and wires together. "Never better," he murmured distractedly. Honestly, he wasn't even sure what he was doing.

"Your dopamine levels seemed to have dropped alarmingly." FRIDAY informed him, and Tony huffed a laugh of disbelief. "Is there something wrong?"

"At this point, FRIDAY, I think the more appropriate question to ask is what isn't wrong," he replied quite dryly.

"How can I be of help?"

Tony heaved a sigh, his shoulders sagging. "I'm fine, just tired."

"Of course you are, you haven't had a good amount of sleep in days. And you aren't eating." FRIDAY told him, and Tony was startled when a hologram of his medical record suddenly popped in front of him. 

FRIDAY then started to explain the significant details of his health records and informed him different ways to recover the sudden drop in his health levels. Tony wasn't listening much, only pinching and zooming nonchalantly the screen and swiping it once he got tired of looking at it.

It wasn't until he came across the file of Natasha that something caught his eye.

"FRIDAY what's this?" Tony asked, interrupting his AI in the middle of her lectures. "Why is this section under Natasha's file hidden?"

"It's confidential, Mr. Stark." FRIDAY answered.

Tony's brows furrowed together in puzzlement. "Why?" he asked, "I've checked all of our records before and nothing was ever protected so much."

"I'm sorry, sir. Doctor Cho specifically asked for it to remain hidden."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Helen Cho?" Okay, now he was alarmed. And incredibly confused. Why the hell would Dr. Cho asked Natasha's medical history to be kept hidden? It's not like they didn't know everything about her before.

Unless...

Dr. Cho was pretty shaken up when he confronted her about Natasha's state back in the hospital, and she was really adamant about him keeping her findings from anyone's reach. Even him. Now, that was really fishy.

"Override," Tony suddenly ordered.

"But sir—"

"Do it now, or don't. Either way, I can do it myself if you refuse my orders." Tony demanded, and FRIDAY hesitantly do as she was asked to and overrode the file for Tony's eyes to see.

As soon as the locked section became accessible, he wasted no time to read the file. As his eyes passed over every letter in that record, his confusion slowly morphed into one of understanding then shock, and lastly, horror.

"Oh God..." Tony trailed off, staring at the information in front of him with wide eyes.

The phone placed on the desk snapped him out of his shock when a voice sounded, "Priority call from Secretary Ross. There's been a breach at the Raft Prison."

Tony gulped, not once taking his eyes from the file and said quietly, "Yeah, put him through."

"Tony, we have a problem," Ross said, sounding urgent.

Being the smartass that he is, he actually didn't have any intention to talk too him right now. So, before the secretary could even finish what he was saying, he cut him off, "Ah! Please hold."

"No, no—"

Beep.

Tony leaned against the desk, propping his chin under his right palm as he ran a hand through his hair. "Goddammit," he murmured to himself.

So much questions is going through his head right now that can't even dissect where to begin with asking. There must be a mistake, there's no way that this is true. It can't happen, it isn't possible.

Black Widow can't be carrying Captain America's child.

»»————- ☆ ————-««

yeah, i know this was a poorly written chapter i'm so sorry. i did try my best. i was running out of ideas because my story isn't in line with the opening of bw (by mistake) so i had to improvise lmao

anyway, there's still an epilogue after this! :)

also that twist is something yall had seen coming a few chapters back HAHA i hate yall i cant keep anything from u lmao