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( four. old flames )

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"So, whenever we need to inquire about the patient's health, we must ask them with statements like these: 'How are you feeling?'; 'How are you feeling today?'; 'Are you feeling any better today?'; and 'How are you feeling at the moment?'. It's the foremost thing you should always keep in mind because what our main goal is as a nurse is to establish a link and connection to our patient. To get them to trust you."

Natasha winced at the word. She had always considered the word to hold even a bigger meaning to her especially after that moment with Steve back in D.C., so many people take the word for granted that they never realize how important it is to have. And she, of all people, is very well aware of that.

If it was the other way around, if it was down to me to save your life and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?

I would now.

God, she really needs to get a grip on herself. Her thoughts about Steve still aren't going away. Even though it's been already a full day since she last saw him, nothing was working to keep her mind off him.

"Nurse Klein, are you still with us?"

The voice shook her back awake. She looked back at Becca who was tilting her head at her questioningly and disapproval.

"Uh, yes, sorry."

It was Natasha's first day at work.

"Well, next time don't even think of falling asleep or else you're going to be the one doing the lectures."

Face it, she was out of her norm lately. She was just so distracted by everything that's going on. With this whole time traveling thing, with her fucked up emotions about Steve, and Stark's refusal to believe her—this was putting her on every bit of the edge of stress she could possibly have.

Oh, she was so going to murder the goddamn life out of Tony the second he's back here.

But then again, Natasha wasn't sure if she could ever get the chance to.

After the meeting and lectures, Becca pulled her to the side to ask what's going on with her. "You've been acting pretty strange, you know. It's like you're always drifting off to dreamland. Did something happened at the Expo?" she asked.

Oh, she had no idea what happened at that Expo.

"Nothing that's out of the blue." She lied.

"Then why are you acting like you're on drugs or something?"

"I'm sorry. Just have a lot of my mind, is all."

Her face suddenly broke into concern. "You wanna talk about it?"

She really didn't know how to explain this thing now so she shook her head, "Not really," and gave a weak smile. "Thanks, though."

She seemed to understand her need for privacy. "Alright, but I'm here in case you changed your mind. Hey, could you do me a favor and give me a hand?"

"Sure."

Natasha followed her as she guided them towards the medical ward, going over to a tray of vials and transferring them to a transparent box.

"What are those for?" she asked.

"It's the SSR's latest project. I heard it's being handled by the greatest scientists in New York, apparently, that's how big this thing is."

Natasha's ears perked up in interest, suspecting that this must be the procedure that caused Steve to turn into... well, Steve. "Sounds heavy."

"Yeah, it is. Don't know much about it but they're calling it somewhere like a super project, super soldier? I don't know." She handed the box to her. "Can you please get this to Dr. Erskine? He's in the east medical ward."

She grabbed the box. "Sure."

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Natasha didn't know what Dr. Erskine looked like per se, but she guessed there was only one person who looked doctor-y and science-y enough to be Dr. Erskine.

By the time she got to the east wing, she slipped into the lab and was greeted by the sight of various doctors and nurses. One doctor in particular, stood out among the rest for all the obvious reasons. It didn't take a genius to know that this was him.

"Dr. Erskine?" she asked. The man turned around at his name being called. He was wearing specs and a lab coat and had greyish hair that very well defines his age. "I was asked to give this to you."

"Oh, thank you, my dear." His voice had a foreign accent to it and from her years of experience, she easily detected it to be German. He took the box of vials from her and began taking it out and laying it on the table. "Would you please help me? Wipe these clean."

Natasha nodded and quickly got to work, taking a clean cloth by the side and wiping it one by one.

"Are you new here..." He adjusted his glasses to take a look at her nametag. "...Nurse Klein?"

She smiled shortly. "What gave me away?"

Dr. Erskine shrugged. "I know all the faces here. They don't think I remember but I'm a very observant person."

"I think that's a beneficial trait." She noticed that he was busy checking something on his clipboard, scratching off something and encircling some statements and even words. It was hard to act subtly when you were already curious enough. "Dr. Erskine, if you don't mind me asking, what's all these for?"

"The vials or what they are doing?"

"Both?"

"The vials' purpose is to contain the serum to be injected into the subject's body, and as for them, well, I don't know exactly what it is they're doing but they're probably preparing the materials needed for Project Rebirth."

The way he spoke of it gave off enough vibe to let her know that it is a very important matter. A crease appeared on her forehead. "Project Rebirth?"

He finally looked up from what he was doing, surprise evident on his face, "They have not told you yet? It's necessary for you to know since you're probably one of the nurses being sent to assist us during the procedure."

Natasha wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel ashamed or embarrassed. "I... well, because I'm new here and everyone's probably busy, they must've forgotten about it."

He nodded in understanding, going back to what he was doing. "Must be." Without looking at her he went on to explain, "Project Rebirth aims to create a new breed of Super-Soldiers that be deployed in the war. United States government claims it to be highly classified. Eventually, they heard about my work and asked me to help them create the perfect serum, and I agreed, on under one condition,"

"What?"

"That I get to choose the subject for the project."

She bit her lip, feeling herself dance on a thin line here. She was eager to know more about this, eager to know more about the program that helped Steve became who he is when she had first met him. And she wanted to know everything, so when something goes wrong (she hoped to God not) she'd be better prepared to fix it. "And have you, doctor?"

A faint smile ghosted over the doctor's lips. "I have my eye on someone, in particular."

She pretended not to know. "Who?"

"The little guy."

Natasha smiled, somehow, she liked the way it described Steve. It just sounded so him. That even with him turning out to be the epitome of hotness and valor after the serum, there's still that little guy in him deep inside.

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After cleaning the syringes, she was dismissed by Dr. Erskine and was on her way back to the medical ward to ask Becca if she wanted to have a lunch out. Although, by the time she rounded a corner, she collided with someone.

She didn't have time to see who that person was, all she saw was pens and files falling out of their grasp, and in one swift motion, she quickly ducked forward to grab the pen between her fingers and the files in her other hand.

Her eyes widened in realization at what she had done, but it was too late to take it back. Whoever that person is, they already saw the whole thing.

"Great reflexes."

A feminine voice reached her ears, and she felt her mouth went slight agape at the woman standing in front of her.

None other than Peggy Carter.

She looked surprised and impressed at the same time, her red lips ever so brightly giving a barely noticeable smile.

"T-Thanks." She could only say, trying not to stare as much. "Agent."

God, she was gorgeous.

"Nurse Klein." She acknowledged, and for a second she almost felt herself mirror in puzzlement and quickly remembered that it was actually her alias.

The second she was out of her way, she hurried to go back to her unit, but when she got there she was actually a little out of breath.

Becca quickly noticed this, eyeing her strangely, "Why do you look like you just ran a marathon?"

Natasha tried to calm down but she couldn't. Just when she thought things couldn't get any worse, it does get worse. And she can't help but be mad at herself for screwing everything up even more.

Incognito. Be incognito.

It was fucking stupid.

How the hell was she supposed to do this while trying to be as invisible as possible? Being a shadow is one thing she was always good at—as if she wasn't even there in the first place, and it's a skill of hers that always manages to surprise people. She could sneak up on people, make her presence so goddamn concealed that she was considered obscure.

But now?

It was so damn hard to do.

Not when you're all alone. Because even then, she always convinces herself that she was better off alone. That she could survive all alone.

But it wasn't true.

That time when she helped save the world from HYDRA? She wasn't alone. She had Fury. She had Maria. She had Sam. She had Steve.

That time when she helped save New York from the Chitauri invasion? She wasn't alone. She had Tony (she still considers that son of a bitch on her list). She had Thor. She had Bruce. She had Clint.

And again, she had Steve.

She had Steve.

But now, the man barely even knows her, and that's just the way things are supposed to be.

The one time she actually needed him, the one time she actually wanted his presence—the one time he wasn't there for her.

And she never felt more alone in her life.

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