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( ten. dancing monkey )

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She was told that they were going to make a quick stop by at Italy. It was an unofficial trip, apparently. She couldn't care less, really.

Until Peggy had mentioned that Steve was going to be stationed there for one of his Captain America shows. Yeah, she was just that eager to see him for the reason that she had just (probably) missed him.

Her battery percentage was cutting close to a 67% now and she and Howard were trying every bit of their best to find that suitable power source enough to take her home. It would only be a matter of time until that percentage drops down halfway, and she was starting to get anxious. Her estimated five weeks of lasting long was already being used up too fast.

She was now halfway through her second week of staying here.

By the time they got to the military base of Italy, they arrived just in time to watch one of Steve's shows.

She had to hold back her laughter the second he came out of the stage wearing his goofy costume. He looked silly, even worse than his first Avengers suit he wore back during the New York Chitauri incident.

But then the soldiers, and what a shitty audience indeed, started to call him out.

It was terrible. Horrible.

She had to watch miserably as Steve got booed on by the soldiers off the stage, going as far as to mocking him and throwing stuff at him like he was nothing but a piece of shit in their eyes. Her heart ached for him. And he didn't even want to be doing this.

Poor Steve.

God did her respect and adoration for him grew incredibly more.

If she was the one up there, she would have probably decked the life out of those dickheads.

He disappeared from her sight, going backstage while the other USO girls came to give the soldiers the show they were waiting for. After a while, it had started to rain, and she had to run back to a post to seek shelter and grab an umbrella. Just when she started to look for him, she had found him in another post opposite to hers.

Natasha simply watched as he drew something on his sketchpad. She stood there in silence, simply taking the moment to look at him.

And then there it was again.

The fluttery feeling in her stomach as she looked at him.

Even then, she settled on focusing on his face. He looked troubled, bothered, but he was still looked handsome. The way a loose strand of his blonde hair brushed on the crease on his forehead; how much she wanted to give him a hug and tell him that everything was going to be alright.

Yet this time... she was afraid.

Back in their time, this was no problem, hell, she even had no problems teasing him and flirting with him, but here... this Steve was... she just couldn't do that to this Steve. One so innocent, so pure and raw. One so good and everything she's not.

It was another reason that she didn't want to develop some form of attachment to him because she didn't want him to remember her in this time era.

But when she looked at him again, she just looked so hopeless, and lost, and alone and...

Ah, screw this.

Next thing she knew, she was on her way walking towards him with an umbrella in her hand, the pounding of her heart was becoming louder. She opened her mouth, "Ste—"

"Hello, Steve."

She stopped. Like the ground had somehow locked her feet in place.

Peggy was there.

She was already there.

She saw Steve turned around from what he was doing, even from a distance, she could see the surprise and joy dawning his face the moment he saw her. Even with the heavy rain, she heard his voice perfectly loud and clear. "Hi."

And so she stood there, watching the scene between the couple happen in front of her very own eyes.

This shouldn't be a problem. Why is this a problem? She should be happy for them, right? She should be happy for Steve, right?

But she isn't.

Swallowing the lump back down in her throat, she turned to the other side, seeking shelter at another part of the backstage. She felt so silly. In fact, she felt like a pathetic lovesick little girl, and it was annoying her to the point she wanted to hit something.

She didn't know why she was feeling this way, she didn't even know why the hell is she feeling different whenever she's around or Steve, or even just see him for a distance.

Is it because she misses him? She misses their missions together?

What is wrong with her?

Oh, who was she fooling, maybe it was just indeed better to admit that she—

"It's Anne, right?"

Her breath hitched in her throat at the sound of that voice.

A voice that she knew very well.

She whirled around to see Steve, wearing a faded green coat on top of his uniform. It looked pretty ridiculous, seeing this up close. Like it was a costume taken straight out of a comic strip.

"Yeah," She knows she should be nervous because of the fact that he had remembered her name, but honestly, she felt the exact opposite. She was actually glad that he remembered her.

He sat down next to her.

Natasha subtly took a deep breath, trying not to let it show how much his presence was making her uneasy. He was close. Too close. She could smell his cologne even through the mist of the rain.

"What are you doing here?" she didn't mean to come out as rude, but for some reason, it sounded that way.

Steve flustered up, "I... well, Peggy, she was—I mean... she came over and we talked and I asked her how things were going on with you since, you know, word got around that you got promoted so... yeah, and she told me that she actually came here with you and asked if I've seen you but I haven't yet, and uh—well, here I am."

Seeing Steve broke into a stuttering mess made her smile. "Oh, I see." And when she replayed his words back in her mind, she faintly blushed as soon as she realized that Steve had actually asked about her to Peggy.

"Yeah, umm... how are you? I haven't heard anything from you since you left for London."

"I'm fine, I guess."

"The promotion doing you good?"

She nodded, her gaze flickering over to him. "As good as it can be. You?"

"Don't ask. Obviously, their idea of your promotion to my promotion is on two different tracks."

It made her chuckle softly but nevertheless, she felt sorry for him, "I saw your performance. It was quite... entertaining."

Steve sighed, "Yeah, well, bond sales take a ten percent bump in every state I visit."

Natasha rolled her eyes, she wasn't one for the people in politics, "That sounds a hell of a lot like Brandt."

"At least he's got me doing this. Phillips would've had me stuck in a lab."

She tilted her head questioningly, "And that's all you mean to them? A lab rat or a..." She glanced at his open sketchpad, "Dancing monkey?"

He looked embarrassed and quickly shut it close, not saying anything else.

She opened her mouth to say something that would cheer him up when he spoke again, "Listen... I never really got the chance to say thank you." Her eyes meet his with slight puzzlement. "For what you did back then. For standing up to the colonel."

Oh, that. "Don't mention it. He's a complete ass, anyway."

"You didn't have to do it, though. It could have cost you your job." He sighed, twiddling his fingers. "I was fine."

She looked at him incredulously. "He called you an experiment. Said you were not enough. How is that fine?"

"Growing up as I was before the serum, those words aren't something that's new to me. Being short and lanky kind of has its downsides more than I can count. Getting beaten up. Judged. Humiliated." A sullen look ghosted his handsome face. "I never get the chance to prove myself."

She felt sorry for him, but she knew it was only a matter of time for that chance to be given to him. Knowing what he would be in the future, what he was aiming for at this time was nothing compared to what he had would achieve then.

She rested a hand on his arm, gaining his attention quick, "I think that might change soon. I know you're meant for more than this, Steve. More than this... dancing monkey."

He gave her an empty smile, opening his mouth to speak but closed it as quickly as he had opened it.

"What?"

"You know, for the longest time, I dreamed about coming overseas and be on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally got everything I wanted." He sighed, "And I'm wearing tights."

She didn't know what to say to that.

Thankfully, the awkward silence didn't ensue between them when a truck suddenly hurled into their view.

"They look like they've been through hell," Steve said, noticing the soldiers that were severely injured climb out of the truck.

They had been debriefed about them. It was probably one of the reasons why they were ordered to drop by in Italy, to pick up what's left of the remaining soldiers.

"Schmidt sent out a force to Rosano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned." She sighed, turning her attention back to him, "Your audience contained what was left of the 107th. The rest were killed or captured."

A look of horror filled his face. "The 107th?"

"What?"

Without saying a word, Steve shot up from like he was lit on fire and ran off to God knows where. "Wait—Steve!"

"Come on!" he shouted.

Out of curiosity and confusion, she followed him. She didn't even bother with the umbrella, settling on to pull her jacket above her.

They stopped at a halt once they reached a tent where Colonel Phillips was. Peggy was nowhere to be found, probably helping out Stark with assistance on whatever he was fixing for the government.

"Colonel Phillips?" Steve called.

He looked at him sternly. "Well, if it isn't the star-spangled man with a plan. And what is your plan today?"

"I need the casualty list for Rosano."

"You don't get to give me orders, son."

"I just need one name. Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th."

Her face went white with the familiar name.

No wonder he was so riled up.

Phillips' eyes fleeted over to her, giving her a disapproving look, "You and I are going to have a conversation later that you won't enjoy."

She literally had to bite down her tongue to stop herself from saying anything back. But Steve was still pushing it. "Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R—"

"I can spell!" he cut him off harshly, going over to a pile of papers and envelopes, "I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar, I'm sorry."

She wasn't making sense of the situation. Bucky was killed? How could that happen? Was that even supposed to happen? Or was it because her presence, in a very strange and non-relatable way, had inadvertently caused this?

The look on Steve's face was impossible to forget.

"What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?"

"Yeah, it's called winning the war."

"But if you know where they are, why not at least..."

"They're thirty miles behind the lines. Through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save. But I don't expect you to understand that because you're a chorus girl."

Her blood boiled at that.

That was way out of line.

But she couldn't risk her job when she had already been apprehensively getting on Phillips' nerves ever since she got promoted. And the irony that he was the one who gave her the promotion.

She turned to Steve whose face showed utter humiliation, irritation, then finally it flickered over to determination. "I think I understand just fine." Despite how much it struck him in the face, he still tried to remain as polite as possible.

"Well, then understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly, you got some place to be in thirty minutes."

Natasha noticed him looked at a map plastered on a wall. She didn't know what it was, but from the way Steve stared at it like he was memorizing the whole thing, she kind of had an idea. And from the looks of it — this man had a very long walk prepared in his mind.

"Yes, sir. I do."

Then he walked out of the tent.

"If you have something to say, right now is the perfect time to keep it to yourself."

She rolled her eyes, then followed Steve outside. Just as she had expected, she found him packing up his things in the backstage. He really is going to do this, isn't he?

"You're not actually thinking of going there, are you?"

"What if I am?"

Does he even know what he's walking himself into? Despite understanding his will to find out and save his best friend, they weren't even entirely sure if Bucky was still alive.

And she wasn't going to let Steve risk his life for an uncertain fate.

Especially with everything hanging on the line here.

"What are you going to do, walk to Austria?" She asked like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"If that's what it takes."

"You heard the colonel! James is... James is most likely dead."

That sounded horrible, but it was the truth.

He looked at her harshly. "You don't know that."

"Would you just—for God's sake, would you stop for a moment and listen to me?" He was frantically moving around without even stopping a chance to think this through. "Phillips is already devising a strategy and if he detects—"

"By the time he's done that, it could be too late!"

"Steve!"

She followed him outside, stopping just when he tossed his shield and bag at the truck.

Steve looked at her, the droplets of water settling on his tousled blonde hair. His blue eyes locking on her green ones as he asked, "You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?"

Her heart was pounding.

Her stomach was twisting and turning.

Natasha returned his gaze, nodding, "Every word."

"Then you got to let me go."

No!

She crossed over to stop him before he could even start the truck. "I could do more than that." It wasn't her best idea but it was the only thing she could think of to make sure everything would fall into place. If she can't stop him, then might as well— "Let me go with you."

Steve's response was just as she had predicted.

"What?"

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