◤ 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊: ❛ trick of fate ❜ ◢

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         USUALLY, MARISOL ONLY ALLOWED HERSELF ONE NIGHT AND ONE AFTERNOON TO BE SELFISH. She gave herself Friday nights to go and see Elijah, to live a grand life for a moment and truly consider what life could be like with them, being there, with no worry of money, with a new gown for every day, so many jewels and niceties. But there would be no more worries.

She thought about what if Elijah accepted her, for everything. For her wolf, for her nephew, for her lying to him about these things. And if he accepted her, she would be set for life. There would a grand existence for her and Magnus, where money would never be a problem. She could forget about her long days working, could forget about all the labor she did for barely any coin, and be dressed in the best gowns and jewelry. Magnus would have the best education, he would have a job set up for him, and have a fine, young lady to marry him later.

But those were pipe dreams. They were not reality and she could not consider them to ever come into reality, for exposing herself in all these ways, telling Elijah who she was and how she had lied to him...she feared it could not end well. Niklaus said that Elijah would always accept her wolf, but he did not know about Magnus. He did not know about her promise to Ophelia; her child before Marisol's own life.

Katerina tried to assure her that Elijah would never dream of turning her away, that Magnus would be accepted into the family, but Marisol could never be certain. No man would want to raise another's son. And to think about what her admittance into their family would do to their reputation. The Mikaelsons were known and respected all over London, but Marisol and Elijah's marriage would change the reputation.

People would whisper about her days as a beggar, the lowest of the low, a commoner with nothing whereas Elijah was a lord. And then they would see Magnus, they would call her a scarlet woman for having a child before any marriage, out of wedlock and born into scorn, and they would wonder how Elijah could see something worthwhile in her. The reputation would be in ruins and she could not do that to Elijah. He could easily find someone with less problems than her who would uphold the reputation instead of tearing it down.

But her second day of selfishness, her afternoon, was on Saturday in the market where she could wonder at all the jewelry and wish for them, where she could see Elijah again and feel complete for a second. Only a second.

Yet, here she was, for a third hour of selfishness, answering Elijah's letter to meet her at the market during the dark night of a Tuesday unlike ever before. It was against her rules, leaving Magnus alone for another night even though she was secure in his safety. Yet, it unnerved her to end her willingness to break her own rules more than once to see Elijah sooner.

He was having this effect on her which he shouldn't, this leash on her heart tugging her to break all her rules and leave Magnus alone for a moment like she promised Ophelia she wouldn't, all because of a simple letter. There was no coercion, only a wish, and she broke easily and laid Magnus to sleep before looking at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable towards him before berating herself because she did not want Elijah's affection in the slightest and it should not matter whether or not he likes her appearance.

Yet, her heart still sung for him. Still called for him every time they were together, and cried every time they were separated. She wept for him, and she was sure she would weep for him until her death, so when the letter came asking to see her one time during the dark hours of a Tuesday, she needed no convincing from Katerina to go.

She craved him. The one thing she had forbidden herself of she craved, like this cruel trick of fate. She longed for him every day, so of course she had to see him even if she could not give herself to him.

He looked as dashing as ever, with an easy smile on his face when she appeared through the darkness to see him. Her breath was caught in her throat for a moment at the sight of him, of how she wanted to run and kiss him, of how she wanted him to court him, before reeling back and forcing herself to keep a distance.

"Elijah," she greeted him, her voice shaky as she swallowed down the lump in her throat threatening to make her weep because all she wanted was to let go and tell him all, but couldn't.

"Marisol," he returned, joy in his eyes, "You come."

"You asked for me, so of course I can," she told him, though after she wished she hadn't because he looked too happy at this. She berated herself for giving him hope when there was none for them. She could not have Elijah, and he could not have her. Not in this lifetime, at least. "But why did you call me here?'

"Do I need a reason other than wanting to see your face?" he asked her, coming closer, closing the distance between them as he peered straight into her eyes, staring deep into her soul. She found that she could get lost in his eyes if she wasn't careful.

She felt blood begin to rise to her cheeks, and she broke contact with his eyes. "How, sweet, but that can't be all, can it?" she asked him again, wanting to refuse the idea that he was infatuated with her and would stoop so low as to only want her.

Marisol was not naïve. She knew her place, she knew her status, and she knew his. It was yet another reason why they could never be together, even if Katerina seemed to think that if she could have a marriage with Niklaus, Marisol could have it with Elijah.

As long as you don't tell Katerina that I have no intention on marrying her. Niklaus' words haunted her, and she felt more guilt raise in her because she had not yet told her friend of what he had said. She felt as though she owed it to Niklaus not to say anything so in return he would not say a word to Elijah about her monstrosity even if it meant betraying her word.

Katerina would understand if she learned the truth, which she hoped never happened. She cared for the younger girl so deeply, and she hated hearing how happy she was with her courtship with Niklaus even though Marisol knew he would break it. Yet, she endured the talk, because that was normal and the expected behavior from her to Katerina.

"I understand that Niklaus went to you see recently, and I wanted to apologize if he said anything you did not like," Elijah explained to her.

Marisol could not help the smile that appeared on her face, or the teasing tone in her voice. "You're always apologizing for Niklaus, aren't you?"

Elijah shrugged easily, seeing the tease and mirth of the situation. "I suppose so. It seems that I've been cleaning up behind Niklaus for centuries as his big brother."

"Well, you're a good brother to him," Marisol said sincerely to him, "I suppose that that was supposed to be my role in my family." And she also thought that she had done it well, what with taking caring of Magnus and allowing her younger sister to return to the good life they both had once known and Magnus never had the pleasure to.

No, Magnus was not raised in a household of witches with a promise of marriage in the future because it would make the perfect arrangement. He did not grow up with money or with a good suit, but he did grow up with an aunt he knew loved him and would do anything for him. He will continue to grow under her careful watch and see that there was more to life than jewels, even if they seemed to make it easier. There was love, and Marisol would always love him.

She grew solemn for a moment as she thought about her family, and Elijah took her hand in his to comfort her. She knew she should take it back, to fully discourage him, but she found that she could not. She wanted her hand with his, she wanted her lips on his, and she wanted them to be together forever. She kept her hand in his for the moment, though, even if the other things could never happen.

"It is not the most favorable of roles," Elijah told her, "Niklaus abhors my need to help him be a good person and straighten out his wrongs, but I cannot find myself to stop. After all, I took a promise with him – always and forever – so I will always be there to put back together what he breaks."

"How noble," she smiled at him, "Though how terribly binding. You don't always have to fix his mistakes, Elijah."

"That's what Kol and Rebekah tell me, yet I cannot leave him to his own devices," Elijah explained to her, "I care for him too much; it's my responsibility."

"Niklaus is lucky to have you then," Marisol said, because he truly was. Elijah was such a kind soul, continually helping his brother and helping to pick up the pieces. Marisol hoped that Elijah could help convince Niklaus to marry Katerina and settle down with her.

"He does not see it that way."

"Then he is a fool," Marisol decided, "You truly are a great man, Elijah, even if Niklaus does not notice it."

"Thank you," Elijah breathed out, looking deeply into her eyes again, and even though she knew she should break away from him, she could not, staring back into his.

And she felt herself relax more under his gaze, lost into his deep brown eyes because he looked at her as if she mattered, like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. When he leaned in closer, she was not aware enough to realize what he was doing, until he lips met hers and she returned the kiss.

He was warm even though it was a chilly night, and she felt herself melt into his as he grasped her face with his hands and she went to grab the back of his neck. For a moment, she felt complete with him, allowing herself to fall, but then her brain surged, and she broke apart from him, her eyes wide.

She could not be kissing him, she could not be falling even more for him, she could not keep allowing him to have this hold on her heart.

"Marisol –" he tried to reach forward, sorrow in his eyes at her fear and unwanted of his kiss, wanting to apologize to her, but she took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she broke him off, her heart pounding in her chest, "But I can't. I'm sorry but..."

She didn't finish her thought before racing away from him. She couldn't believe she was foolish enough to meet him there, to allow herself another night of selfishness. She already had two set, she did not need a third with Elijah, who was so utterly perfect. She wanted him to badly she ached, but they were not meant to be together in this life.

She was a fool to meet him, a fool to allow him to hold her hand, a fool to fall under his gaze, and a fool to let him kiss her. She could not have him, he was not hers to keep, even if her heart wanted him to be. No. She only had herself and Magnus to keep, and she had to think of him before her own selfish desires.

Magnus meant more than Elijah, and she could not let herself be in love with someone when there was a possibility that he could ruin her and more importantly, Magnus. She rushed home to Magnus, because her home was Magnus, not Elijah.

And she allowed her to break down, tearing out her heart because Elijah could not have a piece of her anymore. She had let it go on for too long, and now there was a price; her heart. She wanted to love Elijah, to have him love her, but now she was paying the price.

She cried, weeping for him, and tore at her heart from his grasp, from her chest, and threw it far away from her. No more Elijah. She had to leave London and Elijah behind.