i once said when i was younger that i would only celebrate my birthday when it falls on a friday. i think that pretty much encapsulates my relationship with my date of birth.
i love attention but not the kind of attention i get at parties.
im not good with names.
i don't know how to approach people.
when i was 13 was the last time i actually wanted a party. i bought a bunch of stuff for goodie bags like cool lollipops, decorative pins, colorful sunglasses and whatnot. i chose my cake i hand wrote the invitations. i ordered the food. i decorated my house.
i invited like 13 people, symbolic of both my age and my birth dates, and like four people showed up. it was supposed to be an overnight party but only one friend could stay the night.
and she became my best friend.
so from then on i only stuck with the people that actually care about me.
birthday or not, i just don't want to be in a room full of people who don't know me.
and maybe that's selfish when they're making such an effort but is the effort worth it when you don't even know what i want?
when i turned 15 i got my first iphone and i felt so cool showing up to my college classes and acting older than i was.
when i was 16 i was getting ready to take my drivers test and i felt WAY cool.
when i was 17 i had my license, I graduated and got a job as a political organizer and i could take my dads car to go hang out w/ friends and i felt freakin awesome.
when i was 18 i got my own car and a heap of responsibility.
and at 19 what do i have to show for? i get no more perks for MORE responsibility than had yesterday.
okay, enough of my stream of consciousness crap. im gonna drink coffee and watch criminal minds for my birthday, like a damn adult.
hope everyone everywhere has an awesome day.