✧*̥˚ gun glitter *̥˚✧
valerie casablancas x elijah hewson
chapter twenty-four || 🎬🤍🦢

❝ she was heartache from the moment that you met her! ❞

elijah could feel it. the distance between them. the second he landed eyes on valerie casablancas since he got back it was like they were stood on opposite sides of plexiglass. and while he was clawing at it, trying to break it down, she just stood there watching him.

he wished he didn't know why, but he did and he knew there was only a matter of time before she did something stupid, so, he was going to do his best to change that.

she was currently tucked under his arm as they walked through the city. valerie was tracing the cross on his hand with her free hand while the other was sitting on his waist.

he had been sitting on the idea of making their whole thing official for weeks now, but when the time to make it came, it didn't seem right.

"hey, val?" he said suddenly, when she turned to look at him with those big eyes, his heart stopped, "do you wanna try this whole thing officially?" he winced, he knew he worded it wrong, but there was nothing he could do now.

either she didn't understand him or she did and was just shocked when she asked, "what?" the words came out in a rushed breath.

    "i asked if you wanted to make this official. i'm sick of not knowing what this is and i'd rather you be my girlfriend than you not."

     valerie stopped walking and pulled away from him. "i thought this was just a casual thing we had."

     he had to laugh, "come on this was never casual."

     he seen her face contort, and if he could spend even ten second in her head, assuring her everything was okay, he would because he knew it was spinning,

     "what? yes it is." she blew out, her hands moving as she did, she took a step towards a shop and he followed. she didn't want to argue with him in the middle of the street, because that's what it was going to be. an argument. she was too far deep. her mind had told her this was going to be fucked up, so she couldn't fall into his arms like she wished she could, she was sparing him, "it's not actually gonna work out. come on, eli, be honest with yourself. we're both too busy for this to work and im fine with doing whatever we're doing now and not putting a label on it, but if you're not then maybe we're not fit for one another."

     "yeah, we are! of course we're fucking fit for each other!" elijah was appalled, how could she think that?  "it wouldn't have worked out after that night in the bar if we weren't. if we were wrong for each other we probably would have fucked and never seen each other again, but we didn't and we have."

     "i don't think this is gonna work." she mumbled shamefully, her chin was basically touching her chest. she couldn't look him in his eyes.

    elijah ran a hand through his hair, "what? you were the one ringing me two weeks ago asking me what this was and here i am giving you an answer!"

"well that phone call was a mistake. it shouldn't have happened and i regret it."

  "no, you don't." he challenged. he couldn't accept that.

  "yes, i do, elijah."

   "valerie."

     finally, she looked up, tears brimming on her waterline, "maybe we should take some time apart. think about this fully."

     his shoulders dropped, "i've spent the past two months thinking about this, valerie, and i know you have as well."

     why was she like this? why couldn't she accept his love "well obviously we were thinking of it in different lights. this isn't what i want."

      "you know it is. i understand that you have this fucked up idea that no one can love you, but you're wrong because it turns out you're pretty fuckin' loveable." he reached out to cup her cheeks, and for a moment, as he wiped her tears away, she let him, before she snapped back into the valerie he hated and pushed him away softly.

     "i don't feel the same way." she shook her head. her voice cracked as she spoke, betraying her. 

     once again, he didn't believe her, "yes, you do."

    "no, elijah, i do not." she said sternly, holding her ground, "and i'm flattered, but seriously?"

     "you're saying you don't feel the same way, but i know you! i know you do and you know that too!"

     "i think we should go home. alone. i can't deal with this now. i don't wanna deal with this right now." he watched as her heart shattered right before him and he felt like an idiot, "i think it's better if we don't talk. i'm dealing with shit. you're dealing with shit and we shouldn't hurt each other."

     "is that what you want?" he asked, finally.

    she nodded, "yes."

     "is that really what you want?!"

     "yes!"

     "fine." he spat, taking a step back.

     "fine?"

    "fine, valerie." there it was. the plexiglass mentioned before, he broke away from it and stared right back at her, "maybe we shouldn't talk anymore if that's really what you want. but i don't regret this and i don't regret you and i especially don't regret falling in love with you."

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the ilyis trend the "i love you" "i love you, i'm sorry" trend belongs to them.