Panic.

CHAPTER EIGHTY , COOL IT DOWN, BABY

a/n : chapter eighty?!!! INSANE

sexual content warning!🍒

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Emerson Sharpe is 2 years clean.

It was a big deal. Emery knew that, and so did everyone else in her life.

But for some reason, everyone seemed a lot more excited about it than Emerson. This morning, she received 10 texts about what a force she was and how proud they were of her.

But she didn't reply to them.

This morning, all she did was get out of bed, brush her teeth, stretch, meditate, and shower. Today was going to be a calm, normal day for her.

That is, until she smelled chocolate chip waffles.

Emery pulls open her door, and a smile finds her lips. "Well, good morning," she steps out of her room.

Buck turns to the curly-haired woman, and his heart jumps into his throat. "Good morning," he practically swoons.

Emery walks toward Buck and wraps her arms around his waist. She presses her ear against his chest and lets out a content breath from the soothing sound of his heartbeat. Buck kisses the top of her head, his own body relaxing from the closeness. With his lips against her head, he speaks. "Happy 2 year--"

"Noooo..." Emery lifts her head and presses her finger against his lips. Buck furrows his brows, and his words become muffled. "What?" he tries to speak through his closed lips. "What did I say?"

Emery lets out a breath and looks to the side. Buck moves his head to the side, following her gaze. "You know what today is. I know you do."

Emery softly hums, she pulls her finger off Buck's lips. "Yeah, I know." She then shrugs.

Then she says something Buck never thought he would hear Emery say.

"It's not  a big deal."

Buck stares at his girlfriend. His eyes were wide with his jaw dropped. He couldn't believe the words that were leaving her lips. "Not a big deal—who are you right now?"

Emery rolls her eyes with a small smile on her lips. She lightly touches his waist and walks past him. "I'm just a girl, who wants to drink her coffee in peace." She walks into the kitchen and grabs her mug Dylan bought her. It was in a shape of an alien with the words "Word Best Emery" across it. Emery could tell Dylan spent a lot of time on it, and it warmed her heart that he went out of his way to make her it.

"Emery, you're 2 years clean. That's a pretty big fucking deal." Buck follows her into the kitchen.

Emery cracks a small smile. "I still feel like I have a long way to go." She turns to him. "I mean, any second I could..." she trails off her sentence and a pit forms in her stomach.

Buck watches as Emery bites the inside of her cheek and looks to the side. He could see the doubt begin to cloud her mind. She was thinking about what could happen, instead of what she had accomplished.

He tilts his head and reaches forward, cupping her face. Emery looks back into Buck's eyes. He gives her a small smile and his blue eyes were as soft as any dream Emery's ever had. And it was all for her. It still made her heart race just thinking about it.

"Emerson, I am so proud of you." Buck says. "I can't make you feel any kind of way, but you should always celebrate the small victories."

Emery presses her lips into a small smile.

"Even though, I think this is a humongous victory." Buck kisses her forehead. "Because you're 2 years clean."

Emery allows Buck's words to sink in. She remembers vividly how difficult her struggle was. The pain she not only put herself through, but everyone around her. Even her late father was put through the wringer on top of his cancer. Emery honestly thought she wasn't going to survive the aftermath of Joe. There were times she even thought she would be better off dead.

But here she was. 2 years clean.

"Ah, there it is."

Emery pulls herself from her thoughts and refocuses on Buck's smiling face and awestruck eyes. He runs his thumb across her lower lip. "I was waiting for that smile."

Emery's cheeks warm and a soft chuckle leaves her lips. "I'm 2 years clean."

"You're 2 years clean, Emi." Buck could feel his eyes burn with tears. "I am so fucking proud of you."

A lump forms in Emery's throat, but she wraps her arms around his neck and presses her lips against the crook of his neck. "I'm proud of me too."

The couple stays in each other's arms for a while, soaking in the comforting silence. Emery focuses on the stove and winces. "I think the waffles are burning."

Buck's eyes widen, "Shit!" He turns to the waffle iron and pops it open. Emery softly giggles as Buck turns the waffle iron off and pops the top open. Buck waves the smoke from the waffle iron and coughs. His eyes focus on the burned waffle and he frowns. "Okay, I'll be sure to pay attention to the next ones."

Emery walks over to him and kisses his bicep. "That would be nice, yeah."

☆

"You didn't have to come with me." Emery walks down the sidewalk. "I know you probably have a lot more important things to do."

Bobby frowns, "It was no problem," he says. "I wanted to come."

A look of gratitude overtakes Emery's face. Emery was going 2 years clean. She was pretty proud of herself, but she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Buck had the day marked in every calendar imaginable, so there was no hiding it from him. Buck promised her he was going to take care of her. Dinner, bath, Mario Kart. Besides looking forward to that, Emery thought today was just going to be a normal day.

She was going to go to her meeting by herself and get her chip. But as she was walking up the steps, Bobby was already standing in front of the building.

"Buck called me earlier."

Emery inhales a breath and then chuckles. "Of course he did." She looks at him. "What did he tell you?"

"All good things." Bobby assures. "He knew that you wanted to come here alone, but he also wanted to make sure you had support."

"He asked you to come today?" Emery pinches her brows together.

Bobby could see the slight hint of disappointment cross Emery's eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He didn't want another second passing without reassuring her of the truth.

"I was already on my way when he called me." Bobby says.

The tension in Emery's shoulders slips away and she lets out a breath through her nose. "Oh." A smile ghosts her lips. "Okay."

Despite telling people she didn't want to make a big deal about being 2 years clean, Emery was glad that Bobby was there for her meeting. Emery pulls the chip from her pocket and stares down at it. "I didn't really want to make a big deal out of being 2 years clean, because it feels like..." she bites the inside of her cheek. She runs her thumb over the metal and sighs. "there's another shoe that's about to drop."

"Buck told me to celebrate the small victories." Emery cracks a smile. "I get that, but I've just always been a worrier, I guess."

Bobby glances away from her. "Really? I hadn't noticed..."

Emery deadpans and rolls her eyes. "My point is, I didn't want to be happy about 2 years if I could relapse at any time."

Bobby's eyes soften and he nods his head. "I used to think that way." He admits. "But I realized that if I were to wait for another shoe to drop at any moment, I would never feel safe. I wouldn't be living the life I deserve and want."

"And from what I've seen this last year, you've got an amazing life, Emerson."

Emery's back straightens and her chest tightens.

"If you keep waiting for something bad to happen, you won't be able to focus on the good that's around you now."

A smile finds Emery's lips from Bobby's words. "You're right." She nods her head. "As usual, you are right."

"You want a hug?"

Emery puffs out her cheeks and glances away. Her face begins to grow hot out of embarrassment, but she nods her head. Bobby laughs from her reluctance. He pulls Emery into a warm hug and she wraps her arms around him.

"There's an ice cream parlor two blocks away." Bobby states. "Let me buy you a cone?"

Emery softly snorts, "That sounds nice." She steps out of the hug and sniffles. "Thanks, Bobby."

Bobby throws his arm over Emery's shoulder. "Anytime, kid."

☆

"It's pretty serious."

With his eyes glued go the pool table, Eddie shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know what you mean."

"Well, you're meeting her parents." Buck states.

"I'm meeting everybody." Eddie clarifies. "Her parents, her tíos, her tías, her primos. Her whole family's going to be there." Eddie hits one of the balls into the pocket.

"It's a baby christening." Emery teases while rocking back and forth on her heels. "It sounds pretty serious to me."

Eddie turns to the woman with a pointed expression. Emery innocently shrugs her shoulders with a smile on her lips.

"Are you mocking me?" Buck turns to her.

"And are you teasing me?" Eddie tilts his head to the side.

Emery pushes her lower lip out. "Of course, I am." She rubs Buck's arm and grabs the pool stick from his hands. "I'm glad you two know me so well."

Eddie's expression quickly changes from annoyed to entertained.

"It's not like it's Ana and Eddie's baby, you guys." Hen points out.

Not knowing the context of the conversation, Chimney stands beside Bobby. "That's right, Baby Buck." He looks at everyone else. "What are we talking about?"

"Ana's sister's having a baby." Eddie states. "Chris and I got invited to the christening next Sunday."

"You and Chris at the christening?" Chimney raises his brows.

Emery exhales sharply, "Try saying that ten times."

Everyone stops for a moment.

"You and Chris at the Christening, you and Chris at the christening, you and Chris—"

"No. No way, I am not sitting through you all struggling to say that ten times." Emery waves her hands.

"Well, I was doing great." Eddie shrugs.

"I'm sure you were." Emery nods sympathetically.

"Anyway," Chimney interrupts. "Being invited to the christening sounds serious."

"It's not." Eddie sighs. "Not the way you guys are making it sound."

"It's the next step." Buck states. "You know, she's showing you off to the entire family. It's like the opening scene of The Godfather."

Emery rolls her eyes, "We watch that movie one time and now you think you can reference it whenever." She then squints her eyes, thinking more about his words. "You didn't even reference it correctly!"

"I totally did." Buck retorts.

Emery and Buck keep their challenging gazes on one another. Then at the same time, they turn to their Captain. "Bobby?"

Bobby lets out a chuckle and nods his head. "The christening is the last scene of The Godfather."

Emery throws her hands up in the air. "I win!"

"Win what?" Hen turns to her.

Emery hums, "Bragging rights."

Hen nods her head, immediately on board. "Nice one, Lieutenant Sharpe."

Emery smiles, "I've learned from the best, Lieutenant Wilson."

Both women fist bump.

"He's really looking forward to it." A smile grows on Eddie's lips. "He even agreed to let me buy him a new suit."

"We tried on the old one last night—barely made it past his elbows." Eddie laughs. "Swear that kid shit up like a weed."

"They'll do that." Hen says.

"Last time he wore it, it still fit him." Eddie says. "That was at his mother's funeral."

Emery's eyes soften, she opens her mouth to say something but her phone buzzes.

"Earth quake alert." Bobby reads off his phone. "That's weird. You guys feel anything?"

"Huh...mine's a swarm of bees released on the city." Emery snorts. "That's pretty unbelievable."

"Uh, mine's a tsunami alert." Buck pulls his brows together.

"Mudslide warning."

"It's like our greatest hits." Chimney says. "Except the swarm of bees." He then laughs. "That's never happening."

Emery laughs as well, "Ever."

"Why isn't the bell going off?"

Hen's phone then buzzes.

"Don't tell us, the bombs are landing in five minutes." Chimney looks at her.

"No," Hen walks over to the group. "evidently, I'm dialing 911."

Emery clicks her tongue, "Sounds like today's going to be an eventful day."

☆

Taylor Kelly was a stubborn fucking woman.

Whatever she wanted she got. That's why she was so good at getting intel for her reports. And she thought that it would've been easier to get her intel with her recently found friendship with Wren. But it was the exact opposite.

Anytime Taylor showed up at the police department, Wren would show her the door.

Taylor visited the police department so much, they were actually considering getting her, her own desk. Wren and Athena shut that down instantly.

But that didn't stop Taylor. It never did.

A soft but hurried knock is heard at her office door. A knock Wren has become all too familiar with. She taps her pen against her desk a couple of times before answering. "Come in!"

Taylor pushes open the door, smiling through her cherry red lipstick. "Hi!"

Wren presses her lips into a smile as if she wasn't surprised Taylor was here. "Hi. What brings you here today, Taylor Kelly?"

Taylor walks around her desk and stands in front of the detective. Wren turns her swivel chair, her knee slightly brushing against Taylor's thigh.

"I need information—"

"Taylor—"

"Hear me out!" Taylor holds her hands up.

Wren had to admit, she admired her tenacity. "They're talking about the app malfunctioning, but there were accidents all over the city." Taylor explains. "But if I could figure out what caused it to happen..."

"You mean, if I can help you figure out what happened?" Wren quirks a brow.

Taylor smiles and tilts her head to the side. "It's like we share the same mind."

Wren rolls her eyes and spins her chair away from Taylor, but the redhead grips the back of the detective's chair and spins her back towards her. Taylor leans forward, making sure her face was inches away from Wren's.

"It seems like you're grasping at straws, Taylor Kelly." Wren states, unwavering from the close proximity. "It was a bug. They'll put out an update tomorrow and it'll be over and done."

Taylor lets out a sharp breath and shakes her head.

"Don't waste your night on it."

Taylor stops shaking her head and refocuses on Wren's dark brown irises. The detectives statement intrigued the news reporter. "What else should I be wasting my night on?"

Wren chuckles, "Well, you can take bugging me off the list." She turns her chair away from Taylor and looks back at her papers.

Taylor stands up straight and crosses her arms. She watches as Wren continues to look over her paperwork.

"What are you working on?"

Wren softly hums, "That might be the first time you've asked about me."

Taylor rolls her eyes and scoffs, "That's not true." She rounds the table and sits in the chair across from Wren. "I ask about you."

"Only when it benefits you." Wren keeps her eyes on her papers. "I don't have an issue with it, I just want you to be honest with yourself...and with me." She looks at Taylor, experimenting with her reaction on the words.

Taylor's back straightens and her jaw clenches. It was weird trusting someone after everything

"If we're going to be friends," Wren looks at the woman. "honesty is going to be a big part of this relationship."

Taylor allows Wren's words to sink in before she answers. "Fine."

Wren nods her head, "Good—"

"But the same goes for me."

Wren slightly tilts her chin, "Yeah? What is that?"

"Honesty is a big part of your relationships. Well, Trust is a big part of mine." Taylor states. "I need you to trust me on this. Something's going on and I can't figure it out without you."

Wren keeps her brown eyes on Taylor's determined green ones. From the unshakable confidence that wasn't going away anytime soon, Wren willingly gave into the stubborn redhead.

The brunette lets out a breath and leans back in her seat. "Fine, red. You win." She pulls her phone from her pocket and hands it to the woman. "Search away."

Taylor's eyes light up. A chuckle of disbelief escapes her lips. "So, you trust me?"

Wren shrugs, "Don't make me regret it. I'd hate to have to arrest you."

She didn't need to hear another word. "Got it, detective." Taylor grabs the phone from Wren's hands. She then holds it out to Wren's face, allowing the Face ID to unlock the phone.

"I want to see when the last update was." Taylor enters the AppStore and her face drops. "Two weeks ago."

Wren pulls her brows together. "That can't be right." She stands up and walks around the desk. She presses her hand against the desk and leans over Taylor's shoulder to look at the screen herself. "All the accidents happened today."

"They lied." Taylor turns and meets Wren's face. "Whatever happened wasn't a bug in their software."

Wren purses her lips, "So, what was it?"

Taylor stands up from her seat. "That's what I have to find out."

Wren stands up straight and stands toe to toe with Taylor. The redhead hands Wren her phone back. "Thank you for the help."

"You know, you could've just downloaded the app and got these answers yourself." Wren points her phone at Taylor.

Taylor tenses at the statement. "What's your point?" She was quick to the defense.

"My point it is, there was another reason you came by, right?" Wren raises her brows. "What was it?"

Taylor looks to the side, her face getting hot. It was obvious she wouldn't be able to keep any secrets from the up and coming detective. Besides, they were just talking about honesty and trust. And you can't build any trust without honesty.

"Your hearing is in a couple of days."

Wren's smirk lessens and she drops her hand to her side. "I didn't know you knew that."

Taylor shrugs a shoulder. "I have my way of getting my information—"

"No, I meant...I didn't think you cared." Wren says. "No offense."

Taylor blinks, "Well, I'm going to take a lot of offense, because I do care." She then looks at her red pumps. "But I get you thinking that I wouldn't care."

"But I do." Taylor quickly adds, looking back at Wren. "How are you feeling about it?"

Wren inhales, "Good. I mean, I get to help put this fucker away for good." She frowns. "I'm feeling great, actually."

"He almost killed you." Taylor says.

"I was there. I don't need a reminder." Wren gives Taylor a warm smile. "I appreciate you trying to help, but I don't need any."

"Well, do you need some support? I can call my boss and tell him I'll be a few hours late."

Wren chuckles, "You would like that, huh?"

Before Taylor could question her statement, Wren touches her shoulder. "Go to work. I will text you after to let you know that I'm okay."

Taylor was now the one piercing her gaze through Wren's unwavering eyes, hoping to read any deeper emotion. But she got nothing. Wren was either really okay or really good at hiding her emotions.

Probably the latter.

☆

Emery and Taylor showed up to Connor's hearing.

And they sat together.

Wren couldn't believe it. She was freaking out about it so much Athena and detective (Fantone??? I'll figure it out later) had to tell her to calm down. Wren wanted to photograph it and send it to Buck, make him squirm a bit.

Before she could reach for her phone, the bailiff speaks and Wren's entire body language changed.

"Next case before the court, The State of California v. Jeffery Connor Hudson. Pretrial motions. Honorable Judge Priya Atkins presiding."

Wren's heart lurches into her throat and her hearing begins to go in and out.

The judge sits up straight, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "Bring in the defendant."

The bailiff opens the door, and leads in Connor's with shackles encasing his ankles and wrists.

Wren curls her hands into fists as she watches Connor admire the group of women that praise him.

"Oh, look. His fan club's here."

"They're unbelievable." Wren sneers.

The judge taps the gavel against the table. "We're on the record."

"All right, whom do we have present?"

"Your honor, Ken Decker for the state."

The judge notices the attorney for Collins talking to her client. "Does the defense need a moment?"

The attorney hands up and Wren pulls her brows together from her hesitation. "Your honor the defendant has informed me that my services will no longer be required."

"He just fired me."

Wren could feel the tightness in her friend first. Even from across the courtroom, she could feel her tense. Wren's eyes shift to Emery and she could read the fear across her face, like she knew exactly what was coming next.

And just from the look across her face, Wren could tell what the attorney was going to say.

"He intends to represent himself."

Despite suspecting it, Wren's heart still dropped into her stomach.

"Objection!"

"What do you mean, "objection"?" Collins stands up, his eyes on the prosecuting attorney. "This is me—"

"Settle down. Order!" The judge begins to bang her gavel.

"—trying to get a fair trial!"

"Settle down." She repeats. "Mr. Hudson, if I do allow you to represent yourself, you'll do so with decorum and you'll follow the rules."

"Mr. Decker, I'll hear what you have to say." The judge looks at the prosecuting attorney. "Everyone else, please sit down."

The defense attorney begins to grab her suitcase, ready to leave the table.

"Ms. Risco, for the time being, that includes you."

She sets her briefcase down and takes her seat.

"Your honor," Decker begins. "this defendant if charged with six counts of rape. Heinous crimes that involved him stalking his victims, lying in wait inside their homes, and then viciously attacking them. In addition, he brutally assaulted an LAPD sergeant beating her nearly to death and he almost killed a detective, stabbing her multiple times."

Wren's hand reaches over her scar that could still be felt underneath her shirt.

Collins turns his head and makes direct eye contact with Athena and Wren, a smug glint hit his eye.

"All of these women will be key witnesses in this trial." Decker states. "To subject them to being questioned by their attacker would be tantamount to allowing him to assault them again."

The judge hesitates for a moment before speaking. "I'd like to see counsel in chambers."

She bangs the gavel, dismissing everyone.

Wren was quick to stand up and leave with Athena. The women that were also testifying against Collins were shaken by his attempt to represent himself. Athena and Wren volunteered to bring them all some coffee, hoping to help them in any way possible.

"Holy shit, I can't believe this." Wren exhales, her back against the wall and her arms folded.

"You're telling me." Athena scoffs. She finishes filling the coffee and picks it up. "He wants to scare us up there. That's why he wants to represent himself.

"Well, that's not happening on my side." Wren sighs, she grabs two cups of coffee.

"Right back at you." Athena gives her a smirk and she grabs the other two cups.

Wren's smile lessens and she looks at her mentor. "Sergeant Grant, I'm sorry. None of this would've never happened if I had just called for backup that night."

Athena stops walking and stands in front of Wren, stopping her in her tracks. "Do you really think that?"

Wren's face flushes with shame. Athena's mouth opens, "Wren, listen to me."

The brunette looks at the sergeant. "I was the higher up in that situation. I should've been the one to call first backup." She sets the coffees on the counter and touches Wren's arm. "Sweetheart, if I knew you were hung up on this, I would've told you immediately that it wasn't your fault and I do not blame you for what happened."

Athena's jaw clenches. "I blame him."

Wren inhales a breath. "I'm sorry, for even bringing this up—"

Before Wren could finish speaking, Athena sets the coffee's in the detective's hands down and pulls her into a warm hug. Wren freezes for a moment and her breathing begins to shake. "Oh..." a small smile forms on her lips and she hugs her back. "thank you."

"Hey!"

Wren and Athena separate from their hug.
Wren turns and a smile forms on her lips from seeing her best friend and best news reporter.

"I can't believe you came." Wren points at Taylor.

"Yeah, I thought I was dreaming seeing you here." Emery then frowns. "Not dreaming. I thought I was in a nightmare."

Wren deadpans at Emery.

The redhead tenses, "It's not that weird. I wanted to..." her face becomes red and Eremly lets out a stifled laugh.

"Your face is almost matching the color of your hair." Emery notes.

Wren rolls her lips into her mouth to control her smile. Taylor glances to the floor and tries to unnoticeably wipe her cheek with the back of her hand. Emery has gotten better at reading people, so seeing Taylor wriggle like this was a sight.

But, she knew she would get an earful from Wren, so she decided to change the subject.

"So, how are you feeling?" Emery looks at Wren.

Wren's brow twitches, "He wants to defend himself."

Emery's eyes soften, "Yeah, I know." Her eyes read pain. "I'm sorry, Wren."

"I know why he's doing this." Wren says. "He's always followed the Firesnatcher. And I'm sure one of his fans told him about the stunt Joe pulled at his hearing."

"Well, this hearing is going to be diffffent." Emery says. "This time, you're not going to give him any kind of satisfaction." She reaches forward and grabs Wren's arm. "You're going to show him you're out here and he's in there and he's going to stay in there."

"You got this, Wren."

Wren's eyes grow misty, but she wipes her nose and shakes her eyes. "Jeez, therapy has done you wonders."

"Thank you, Dr. Martin."

Wren and Emery laugh before they tightly embrace each other. Once they separate, Wren looks at Taylor. "So, what made you two sit next to each other?"

Emery and Taylor look at each other. "Oh, I was here first." Emery points at herself. "Obviously."

Taylor shrugs, "Only seat available."

Wren looks between the women. Getting these two on the same page was going to be a lot harder than she thought.

"Is he really gonna get to do this?"

Wren turns to one of the women. "Be the one firing questions at us? Because I don't think I can take that."

"Which is what he wants." Athena says. "But you all are stronger than he thinks."

"Damn right." Fantone says.

"You guys are here. Right now." Wren says. "You've already proven how strong you guys are."

"So, let's just wait and see what the judge says." Athena adds.

"Oh, God, look at them."

Everyone turns to look at the group of girls that were known as Jeffrey Hudson's "fan girls"

"So disgusting."

The fan girls snidely wave at them with smiles on their faces.

"Have you seen their "Free Jeffrey Hudson" Facebook group?"

"It's sad." Emery says. "Women like that have something broken inside of them that makes them fall for psychopaths."

"She's right." Wren says. "Giving those girls attention only fuels them and what Hudson stands for."

Fantone looks behind the group, noticing the prosecution attorney walking towards them. "Hey, Athena." He motions his head to the lawyer.

Athena and Wren turn to the man, and just from the look across his face Wren knew that things weren't in their favor.

"I'm sorry. The judge is going to allow Hudson to represent himself."

Emery's eyes widen and she looks at Wren, immediately seeing her tense her body got. Athena turns to the group of women. "Alright, remember what we said. He can't hurt you. Just stay strong."

"Glad to hear you feel that way." Decker says. "He also just filed a motion to suppress all evidence found at Studio Self Storage."

"What?" Wren's arms drop to her side. "Those trophies are all that we have linking Hudson back to his victims."

"I'm aware of that. Believe me."

"Sergeant Grant and Detective Marshall nearly gave their lives to get us that evidence."

Decker holds a hand up, "I'm aware of that, too. And so is the judge." He looks back at Athena and Wren. "She's going to hear arguments next session."

"She's actually considering this motion?" Athena scoffs.

"She is."

Wren looks away and shakes her head.

"And she's allowing Hudson to call his first witness..."

Athena scoffs, disbelief begins to cloud her mind.

"...you."

Athena snaps her eyes back over to the lawyer. Wren looks at Athena, she then looks at Decker who was already walking away from the group.

☆

"Thank you for doing this."

Emery and Buck were sitting in the his jeep which was parked on a hill that looked over the city. Soft music played from the radio, it swelled Emery's ears and soothed her body.

Emery keeps her eyes on the side of Buck's face. "You didn't have to, though." she bunches her shoulders. "I would've been fine with going back to your place and eating."

"Yeah, but I know it's good to get out." Buck sighs. "Even if it's in my car."

Buck had already had this date planned for a couple weeks now, but after hearing about Harrison's trial he knew this would be the perfect way to get Emery's mind off of things. Emery didn't have to say it, but Buck knew it reminded her of Joe.

Every day that monster haunted Emery. Even when she was trying to find some normalcy in her life. It's like she could never escape him. But Buck tries to help as best as he can and Emery's grateful for that.

"Well, you have a nice car." Emery adds on with a soft chuckle. "Very...spacious."

"Yeah, you know all about that." Buck sips his drink.

Emery's face heats up, but she rolls her eyes and laughs. Buck's own laughter fills the car.

After leaving the courthouse today, Emery told Buck what had happened. She had been worrying all day about Wren being face to face with her attacker. Emery knows all too well how much of an impact that can take a toll on you mentally and physically.

Recently, all Emery has done is worry about Wren. Especially now since the woman found her own place to live. Wren and Emery were still close as ever, it just felt different without seeing each other almost every day. Wren promised Emery she wasn't angry in the slightest when she moved, she just knew how much deeper her and Buck's relationship had become and she didn't want to overcrowd.

Besides, having to see Buck every single day was a kind of torture Wren wouldn't wish on anyone. So, for her benefit she decided to move out.

Buck sets his drink back into the cupholder. "I hope this is okay."

Emery blinks, "Are you kidding? Burgers and looking at the lights of L.A.?" she then laughs. "I love it."

Emery looks across his face, noticing the hint of hesitation. "What's going on?"

Buck looks down at his soda. "I know Harrison's trial had to be tough."

Emery bites the inside of her cheek. "Yeah, but. It's not about me...I can't make that about me."

"Wren and Athena are facing their attackers." Buck says. "You've done the same thing. Their attacker wants to represent himself in court. Yours did the same thing." He places a hand over hers. "It's okay to be triggered by what's going on."

Emery looks down at their hands and she inhales a small breath, trying to build up her courage to speak. "I really want him to be out of my head, but...there are times I lie awake and just wonder how much he's suffering."

Emery's stomach tightens and so does her jaw. "I think about him knowing about my dad's death." She meets Buck's soft eyes. "Someone has to be watching me, right?"

Buck's back straightens and his hand gently tightens around hers. "Do you really think that?"

"That's the only thing that makes sense to me." Emery looks at him. She then realizes what she had been doing the past few seconds. "You planned this perfect date and I'm talking about my kidnapper."

"How fucked up are our lives?" Emery laughs and Buck wipes the tears of laughter from her eyes.

A pink dust of heat crosses Buck's face and he bashfully laughs. Emery glances at the cliff, "This is sweet, Evan." she cups his face. Her brown eyes look across his face and her stomach flutters. "Thank you."

Buck's heart jumps into his throat and his face begins to warm. "You know I'd do anything for you, right?"

Emery hadn't felt it in months, but in this moment she did.

She leans forward and presses her lips against his. Buck's hand finds her back and he kisses her back. Emery parts her lips when Buck swipes his tongue across her lower lip. She sucks in a small breath and shifts her legs, swinging one over his lap. Buck softly grunts from Emery straddling his hips, but he grips her waist and looks across her face. Emery moves his hair from his eyes and drags her teeth across her lower lip.

Buck cups her neck and runs his thumb across her chin. His stomach begins to tighten from the heated look across her face. Despite the heated look, Buck still hesitated. He didn't want to overwhelm her in anyway. So, he let her take the lead--let her go at the speed she was comfortable with. Emery leans forward and connects her lips with his, more force behind her lips. Buck softly moans and kisses Emery back with his breathing stuttering.

Emery grabs the end of her shirt and pulls it up. Buck aids her in taking her shirt off and sets it on the seat next to them. As soon as her shirt was out of her hands, Buck's lips found hers once again. He gathers her tight curls into his hand and deepens the kiss. Emery absentmindedly finds herself rolling her hips against his. Buck's breathing hitches and he moves his lips to her jawline then her neck, lightly nipping at her skin.

Emery's eyes fall shut and she tilts her head to the side, leaving more room open for his lips. Buck softly groans against Emery's neck and he pulls her closer to him. "Evan..." Emery lets out a soft gasp. Buck raises a hand and lightly tugs on the clasp of her bra. Emery realizes his hesitance and she lightly grips his wrist that was on her waist. "It's okay, it's okay." She shakily reassures him.

Buck stops sucking and kissing at her neck to look at her. His blue eyes were curious, wondering if she really wanted to be here with him. Even after the past couple of months. Him being possibly the worst boyfriend (in his opinion), she still wanted him.

"Hey..." Emery cups his neck, basically reading his mind. "...I love you."

Her words were soft and there was a yearning hanging at the end of them, the sincerity being heard. Buck couldn't stop the hard lump from forming in his throat. A timid smile finds his lips that causes Emery's heart to jump. He was so cute when he got shy.

Emery leans forward and kisses the corner of his lips. She then kisses his cheek, then neck. Buck's eyes begin to flutter and he tilts his head back. A small breath of pleasure slips from his mouth.

Emery's heart begins to ram against her chest from the heavy breathing that rumbled in Buck's chest. She quickens her grind against his erection. Her chest becoming hotter with every passing second. "Fuck..." Buck groans through gritted teeth. She softly bites and licks at his neck. Emery continues to do that down to his collarbone.

Emery's bites and her movements gradually became more ravenous as time went on. Her hands pulled at Buck's curly hair, her teeth grazed across his collarbone; hoping to mark him in anyway.

Not having sex for months felt like a century for the both of them.

With one hand, Buck quickly unlatches her bra and Emery was quick to slide it off. Buck leans forward and kisses her breast. Emery tilts her head back and inhales a shaky breath. He kisses lower until he wraps his lips around her nipple. Emery exhales a moan and Buck's tongue swipes across her nipple. His hand slides up her body and his palm runs over Emery's other breast.

Buck's hand slide from her breast to the zipper of her jeans. He timidly fiddles with it before pulling it down and tugging her jeans down as well.

Emery shifts, trying her best to get her pants off. "Sorry, I didn't wear anything convenient."

Buck smirks and cups the side of her neck. "You know I love a challenge, Princess." His thumb swipes over her lower lip.

Emery parts her lips and her core heats up but there's an ache that causes her breathing to hitch. He's so fucking hot.

"Let's get out of these, okay?"

Emery swallows a gulp of air and nods her head, not being able to form words. All that was currently going through her head was 'Evan' and 'Fuck'. Emery gets off of Buck's lap and his crotch grows cold from the lack of warmth.

Emery pulls her pants down and fully gets them off. She goes to take her lace dark red panties off, but Buck hums. "Keep them on." He grabs her arm.

Emery was fine with anything at this point. She throws her leg back over Buck's waist and sits on his lap. Buck cups her neck and pulls her back into a hungry kiss. "Fuck, Emi." He breathes between the kisses. Emery moans begin to grow in volume. She lowers her hand down to the side of Buck's seat and she pulls the lever. The seat falls back and both firefighters grunt from the sudden force.

Emery softly snorts and Buck begins to laugh with her. She lays her head in the crook of his neck. "I thought that was going to be sexier."

"Oh, don't worry." Buck chuckles and cups her neck. "You brought all the sexy."

Emery giggles, "Thank you."

Buck swipes his thumb across her lower lip and pulls her back into a kiss. Emery softly hums and kisses him back, her lips part.

Buck slips his tongue into her mouth and they both moan. Emery presses her breasts against his chest and Buck moans louder from the sudden pressure. She begins to unbutton his shirt and kisses down to his collarbone.

Buck tilts his head back and his eyes flutter shut. Every graze by Emery's teeth caused his erection to grow more painful. "Fuck, please." His breathing begins to tremble.

"Are you begging?" Emery lifts her gaze and stares down at Buck. "You want me that bad?"

Buck opens his eyes and meets Emery's hooded gaze. God, he loved it when she looked at him like that. Like he was the only thing that mattered to her. "Of course, I do." Buck lets out a breathless fit of laughter.

Emery's stomach tightens and her eyes flit to Buck's swollen lips. Her eyes shift back to his blue eyes that were gleaming with not only arousal but from the moonlight bleeding through the jeep windows. "Thank you, for being patient with me." Her face gets hot. "And for still being patient with me."

Buck gently grips her waist and runs his thumbs across her skin. The couple hadn't had sex in months since Emery's dosage had been increased. Her sex drive hadn't been apparent until now. Emery was aware of how much sex they have and it suddenly disappearing out of nowhere must've been a struggle.

"Emi, don't get me wrong, I love sex." Buck says. "Like I love sex."

Emery quirks a brow. "Yeah...?"

"But, I love you more."

Her eyes soften and she smiles. "Oh." Emery's face begins to grow hot from the sudden words. They still made her warm and giggly. "I love you more than sex too."

Buck softly laughs, "Well, thank god for that."

"Now that that's settled..." Emery exhales. "Wanna continue having sex or...?"

"Yes. 1000% percent." Buck lifts himself up and pulls her into a kiss. Emery laughs against his lips and kisses him back. She reaches a hand between them and unzips his pants.

Buck's lips stutter against Emery's when she slides a hand into his pants. "F-Fuck..."

Emery's core starts to ache and she softly moans. Buck slightly pulls his pants down, allowing Emery to pull his dick out of his boxers. She kisses the corner of his lips then his neck and lightly bites at his collarbone.

"Emi, oh my god." Buck gasps. Emery 's kisses become more ravenous and rough just from the words of pleasure that slip past his lips. "I need you." Buck softly speaks, his eyes opening again. Emery nods her head, "I need you too, Evan."

She lifts her lower half and pushes her lace underwear to the side. Emery and Buck both look down and watch as she slowly sinks onto Buck's dick, they both tense and moan from the sudden pleasure they were both feeling.

"Oh fuck." Emery moans. Buck gasps and as much as he wanted to close his eyes and tilt his head back, he continued to watch as Emery swallows Buck's entire length into her cunt.

"Fuck, Emi."

Emery controls her breathing once she bottoms out and starts to feel her clit throb. "Evan..." she lifts her gaze and meets his. Buck cups her neck and pulls her into a kiss. Emery presses a hand against the window and kisses him back. She slowly begins to move up and down on Buck's dick, both of their kissing freezes.

"Fuck just like that." Buck growls against her lips. His hands slide down from her neck and to her waist. He lays back down against the seat and keeps his eyes glued to Emery's every moment and every facial expression.

He wanted to memorize every single Muscle spasm, twitch, and arch from her. He wanted everything about Emerson Bailey Sharpe burned into his brain.

Emery was moving slow but forceful with every grind down on Buck's cock. "Fuck, Evan. I've missed this." She couldn't even believe that she hadn't had the drive to want to feel this for the past few months.

"This or me?"

Emery keeps her cloudy brown eyes on Buck and her swollen lips part. "You. I've missed you." Her movements start to quicken but the force was still there. She tilts her head to the ceiling of his jeep and her moans grow louder. "Oh, fuck!"

Buck begins to meet every movement of Emery's with a thrust of his own, hoping to hit deeper inside of her. Which he did. Emery's legs begin to clench and she grinds down on his cock. "C'mon, Emi." Buck gasps out. "I want you to come all over me."

Emery softly hums and she looks down at Buck. She reaches a hand up, wraps it around his throat, and Buck moans. His stomach tightens and he begins to rub Emery's clit. "You think you can go faster, baby?"

Emery's lips part to answer, but everything was already on 100 for her. She could tell that she was approaching quick and so was Buck. But he wanted Emery to give him everything she could. Even if they were both close to one of the greatest orgasms of their lives.

"Wait—wait."

Emery immediately halts her movements and she pulls her hand away from his throat. "A-Are you okay?" She tries to catch her breath.

"Oh, I'm great." Buck laughs. He looks at the cup holder and pops the cup of water open. He dips his finger into the water and grabs one of the ice cubes.

"What are you doing?" Emery asks with her brows pulled together.

"Do you trust me?" Buck holds up the ice cubes. Emery keeps her eyes on the ice cube and she immediately nods her head. Whatever Buck had in mind, Emery was all for it.

"Okay, you can keep moving."

Emery complies and immediately begins her attack on Buck. The car began to rock again and the moans and groans of arousal immediately returned. Buck then lowers the ice cube to Emery's clit and her back straightens. A loud gasp of pleasure comes from her lips. "F-Fuck, Evan..." she rakes her nails over his chest and Buck laughs.

"You like this?" Buck runs the ice cube across her clit and her moans increase in volume. "Yes!"

"Imagine what it's like coming with this on you." Buck drags his teeth across his lower lip. "Come on, Emi."

"Keep it there!" Emery moans. "Please."

Buck's hips thrusts deeper for her and he pinches one of her nipples. Emery doesn't know how long it lasted, but there was a white flash that crossed her vision and the painfully tight coil in her stomach snapped, and her body began to twitch with pleasure as a wet gush of arousal slips from her and onto Buck.

Emery continued to move, wanting to get Buck to finish. Despite her still moving, she felt exhaustion slow her down. "Evan, I can't..." she lets out an exhausted breath.

Buck nods his head. "I've got you, it's okay." He wraps an arm around her waist and begins to pump in and out of her a few times before releasing deep inside of her. Buck lets out a loud gasping moan and his body stills along with Emery. She takes this moment to finally collapse on top of Buck. Her head tucks into the crook of his neck and Buck runs his thumbs on her thighs.

"Holy..."

"Shit?" Buck finishes.

The couple begins to laugh and Emery kisses underneath his jaw. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"See, I can teach you a thing or two." Buck trails a finger across her spine. A chill rushes down Emery's back and she shudders.

"I never doubted that you could." Emery hums, her eyes start to grow heavy.

The couple lays in silence. Emery has her ear pressed against Buck's chest, listening to his heartbeat. A small smile tugs on her lips. "Your heart is beating so fucking fast." She snorts.

Buck laughs, his chest rumbling. "Truth time?"

"Always." Emery lifts her head and stares down at him with her eyes practically twinkling. Buck smirks and cups her neck. He runs his thumb across her cleft chin and his eyes stayed on hers. "Anytime I'm close to you. I'm still just as fucking nervous around you as I was when we first met."

Emery's eyes soften, "You mean when you flirted with me your first day at work?"

"That's the one."

Emery lets out a small breath and a smile grows on her lips. She leans forward and softly kisses his lips. Buck hums and kisses her back. Emery slightly pulls her lips from his. "Okay, truth time?"

Buck's lips brush against hers. "Always."

Emery keeps her lips brushing against his and her stomach begins to flutter. "I didn't have a crush on you when you first started working here."

Buck quirks a brow, "Okay...?"

"But that night...we had sandwiches in my bed."

"Our non date date." Buck nods. "I remember it."

Emery smiles, "That was the day that I knew it was more than sex." She runs her fingers through his hair.

Buck's face relaxes and so does his body. Just hearing Emery talk about this was so important to him. Knowing when it started to feel real to her. He couldn't stop the giddy excitement from spreading through his chest.

"I was still trying to deny it, but I knew that I liked you." Emery nods her head. "I knew."

"And look at us now." Buck comfortingly runs his thumb across her jawline. He was so mesmerized by her. Emery giggles, she leans forward and presses her lips against the corner of his. "I love you." She whispers.

Buck's heart skips a beat. "I love you too."

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author's note.

First chapter of season five...WE ARE SOOO BACK!!!!

words : 8243