twelve moving forward

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          HER DREAMS CONTINUED TO WHISPER HER NAME. Soft, little callings as they lured her to a trap, with her hand nearly touching the knob as if she was in a trance until she snapped out of it, a clear mind again because she could hear the strong voice of her mother proclaiming her name and she turned away from the door. They didn't seize all throughout Christmas break, even though they never came while she was awake again.

She liked to think it was because she had scared away the demon when she adamantly proclaimed that she would not be taken by it, but it was probably because she was easier to influence in her dreams. Still, she wanted to believe that because it made her feel better.

As she agreed to, she told Colleen about the dreams and the woman nodded, accepting them and not saying a word about it. It was probably better considering they had a track record of arguing about certain things, so Colleen's quietness was taken as a sign that she didn't want to fight anymore. Neither did Evanora, honestly.

She was tired of fighting because it was just a losing battle. She'd rather save her energy for something else, like Brian Gilbert and his insistent attempts at getting Maggie to take him back or Prue and her cult. But not Colleen. She was tired of fighting the woman when it was clear she wasn't going away.

But now she wanted to fight her dreams as well, so she stayed awake too late and woke up too early because she was scared that one time her mother wasn't going to call her back to reality and she would open the door and the demon could find her. She didn't want the demon to find her, she wanted to be protected forever even if it was by her mother and not by herself.

In her dreams, at least, because Evanora needed no one to protect her when she was awake. She could do that herself. She was not a weak little girl but a strong woman, just like her mother was. As much as she hated to admit that, her mother was strong, and she had to at least give her that if nothing else.

She raised the sleeve of her sweater, looking down at her arm as her mind fluttered back to Prue for a second. Curiosity bit at her again, but lightly, and she shook her mind away from the girl. She didn't need to know, nor did she actually want to. To stop thinking about it, she rolled her sleeve back down even though her room was much too hot for it.

There was a knock at her door, and Evanora looked up to see the wooden white door and the hook on this back of it which held her purple book bag. "Come in," she said, a bit louder than usual so that Colleen would hear her, and she watched as the knob turned and the whitelighter entered.

"Sleep well?" Colleen asked, having picked up on domestic phrases like this instead of bluntly getting into the reason why she came into her room in the first place. Evanora supposed it was a good thing, made her more likable to neighbors now because she engaged in small talk and didn't look like a stoic bitch all the time. A little annoying for Evanora now though.

"Yeah, fine," she nodded, and Colleen took another step forward into the room, as if to show that she was pleased to hear that. Evanora shuffled slightly on her bed, "What's going on?"

"I finally had a meeting with the Council," Colleen told her, "It took a while, of course they're all very busy, but I told them about your...predicament."

"And?" Evanora asked, only a little bit of sass in her tone because she still didn't like involving the Elders in her shit since they could all die for all she cared. That was rude, and she was being rude, but she knew that Colleen only meant well by telling them, so she was trying to keep her distaste for them out of her voice.

"And they said that they would look into it more. Elder Culver will be coming soon to put up some other guards surrounding your mind and the house for extra precaution," Colleen informed her.

Evanora nodded, looking away. That was fine, she guessed, but she still didn't like the idea of one of them messing with her mind. They did that after her mom died, to see if she knew about the demon, and she absolutely hated it so she didn't want it to happen again, but she would deal with it. She could deal with it because it was an extra precaution from whoever was trying to find her, and that was a good thing.

She didn't want to be caught, even if it meant having to put up with the Elders and having herself be guarded from them. The thought of them protecting her placed a sour taste in her mouth, but she tried to swallow it down because she had do.

"That sounds good," she said eventually, and Colleen raised her eyebrow a little as if to let her know that she could tell it was a lie. Still the woman didn't verbally call her out on it, so she didn't say anything in return. It was better like this. "When you say coming soon, do you mean today or sometime this week?"

Colleen shrugged. "She didn't say anything definitively, only said that we should be prepared for her arrival, so it could be anything," as she relayed that, it felt like she didn't see a problem with how aloof Elder Culver was being by not giving a specific date or time for her arrival.

But Evanora did see a problem with it, because she didn't want to be with her friends when the woman came because then Colleen and Elder Culver would be mad at her and she would blow up and all the steady progress she had made with Colleen would go up in flames. So that wasn't a good idea at all really.

"Great," Evanora muttered to herself, sighing slightly because she hated having to be tentative with the plans she created with her friends now because of this stupid Elder. Fuck them honestly. Couldn't they just give a time when they were coming without being vague as shit? The world didn't revolve around them, especially not Evanora's.

"Yes, it is a good thing," Colleen nodded, as if that was what Evanora was saying was great. She thought it best not to argue, so Evanora didn't correct her even though she really wanted to because she wasn't saying that Elder Culver's impending arrival was great but instead trying to be sarcastic. But whatever, she didn't have the energy to argue, so she left it at that.

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ELDER CULVER ENDED UP COMING LATER THAT DAY AND LEFT EVANORA WITH A HEADACHE. Her mind was pounding inside her skull from having been influenced by magic, and she hated it, but it wasn't like she could do anything except get an Advil and hope for the best.

She collapsed on the couch, watching Friends on a low volume, her eyes open and closing as to not disturb her brain more, because honestly it was already a mess. Colleen, wisely, left her alone after Elder Culver made leave, and she hadn't seen the woman in thirty minutes since she disappeared in her room, probably warping herself to the grocery store or whatever else.

But that didn't matter, because at least she got some peace of mind for her brain to heal after Elder Culver's tearing through it and piecing it back together stronger so that the demon couldn't lay a hand on her or force her towards the door. She didn't want to see what was on the other side, she wanted to keep it locked forever, and she hoped that the pain was worth it for her never to hear that hissing voice again.

As her eyes closed again, ears faintly training onto the sound of Ross' voice, the shrill doorbell rang and she opened one eye to glare at whoever was behind the door. Hesitantly, she stood up, stopping for a moment when her head pounded later before moving again and getting to the door, looking out the window to see who it was before opening it.

"Maggie," she said to the person on the other side, blinking again, "I didn't know you were coming over."

"Sorry," the Vera girl apologized, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "I probably should've texted, but I just wanted to see you. It's been like a week since we all got together."

"No, you're fine," Evanora assured her, throwing in a nice smile to make her feel better, even though she really wished that Maggie had texted so she could've said no. What if Maggie came over while Elder Culver was still there? What would have happened then? She really didn't want to think about it, but thankfully that didn't happen. Still, the last thing she wanted was to continue a normal conversation, even if it was with Maggie. "Come in," she opened the door wider for Maggie come inside, because she wasn't going to be rude now that the girl was near.

"Thanks," Maggie stepped into the house and Evanora closed the door behind them, leading her into the living room where Friends was still playing. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Not at all," Evanora shook her head lightly, as to not disturb her head too much, "I've had a really boring day."

If you continued having her head practically cut open and your mind pulled apart boring...then yeah, totally. Completely and utterly boring. More like completely and utterly exhausting.

"Me too," Maggie agreed before she bit at her lip slightly, "Except for the fact that Brian texted me."

"You haven't blocked him?" Evanora raised an eyebrow, because the first thing she did with her ex-girlfriends was block them immediately so that she didn't have to talk to them ever again. But, she guessed, that she was completely different from Maggie and they responded to break ups differently.

Maggie shook her head. "That's what Diana said, but I just can't. I mean, we still go to school together so it's not like I can," she said in a weak defense.

"Who says? I've blocked people I went to school with before," Evanora told her, "Never had a problem."

Evanora watched as she sighed, biting her lip again before admitting, "I don't know, I guess I like knowing that he's always there. I know that I broke up with him, but maybe I'm just not ready to let go because I'm scared that no one will be waiting for me if I block him."

"Well, that's silly," Evanora said, wincing when she realized how rude that sounded, "What I mean is that, well, of course you have people here for you. I'm here, Diana's here, Tommy's here. Your family's probably also there for you. You won't be alone."

"That's not what I mean," Maggie corrected her and Evanora nodded in understanding.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Maggie nodded, "I just – I like someone else, but I'm scared that they don't like me."

"Well, the only way you'll know is if you tell them," Evanora shrugged, pretending like it was that easy when really she knew it was much more complicated. It was always complicated, and Maggie was far from the exception.

She wanted it to be this easy, to give advice that motivated her to tell the person she liked how she felt, but it just wasn't because she knew that her heart would be broken if Maggie actually did that. She didn't want Maggie to confess her feelings because then she would have to watch Maggie with another dude, and that made her want to scream. It made her want to drown the guy's lungs, but that was harsh and cruel and a bit too far for her.

God, it was just so complicated, but she was trying to act like it didn't matter. She was trying to act like she didn't care and didn't want to scream and yell to the heavens with Maggie listening that she was there and she was willing and she wanted to kiss her because that would lead to rejection which would just kill her.

"Maybe," Maggie shrugged, "I don't think I'm ready for that yet, though."

Maggie looked at her, like she was hoping Evanora would notice something, but she just looked away because she was scared she would show how happy that made her. At least for a little longer she could cling onto a fantasy before it would all come crumbling done as she was pulled back into reality.

"Then wait," Evanora said, purposefully not looking at the girl, "But don't keep Brian waiting for you when there's no chance of you going back to him. That's too cruel."

Maggie nodded, taking that piece of information to heart. "Yeah, you're right," she agreed, and her eyes swirled with guilt as she realized what she had been doing, so Evanora reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"You didn't mean to," Evanora assured her in a low voice, "You're not a cruel person."

"But I feel bad now," Maggie told her, "And I just feel bad in general. I hate how I keep dragging Brian along but I don't know how to let go – he's been a part of my life for so long."

"Block him, and the rest will follow," Evanora drew from her own experience, because even though one day her heart would be tragically broken by Maggie, she still wanted what was best for the girl, and she at least knew that it wasn't Brian Gilbert.

Before anything else, Maggie was her friend, and she at least wanted to keep that even if she couldn't have anything more. That was just how much Maggie meant to her.