A LUCKY CHARM

☀︎

THE HAWKINS HIGH BASKETBALL GAME WAS ONLY MOMENTS AWAY. Excitement filled the audience causing a boom of voices to escape from the gym and trickle into the halls. Alex had started to feel this was a bad idea when she approached the school with the ticket Lucas gave her in hand. Her grip on the ticket was tight, fearful that if she let it go, Lucas would never forgive her.

It was time to let a part of her feel normal once again and it was all for him. He asked— begged— for her to be there tonight. Even when she made her way down the halls and toward the gym, she had debated turning back before he could see her. It would be just that easy. She believed he would expect her to not make it and she could easily prove him right.

Then she came through the gym doors and the crowd had cheered for their team to take the win that evening. Alex immediately felt overwhelmed by the noise, but she made it her mission to find Lucas. Maybe proving him wrong wouldn't have been so bad. Seeing him smile used to always brighten her day and who was to say it wouldn't have the same effect now.

The basketball team had made their way around the gym, preparing for their big win. It was all they could hope for. This championship game was going to prove that the Tigers were on top and after the recent events in Hawkins, some felt that they needed this small win.

Lucas had made his way around the gym for a grab at the ball when he had spotted her standing at the gym doors. A part of him felt he had been dreaming that someone had come to his game, the one person everyone doubted would make it. And yet there she stood. She looked around nervously, holding herself until she met his eyes. She gave an attempted smile as she raised a hand in the air towards him. Tied to her wrist had been his camouflage bandana— a sign of good luck. He stifled a laugh as he waved to her in disbelief. Inside, Alex Henderson was still there and for that small moment, he had been able to pull her out.

Alex felt her stomach turn when it struck her that there was no going back now. It may have not been how she would have done it before, but she was there to support Lucas. The back row of the bleachers had looked like a perfect place to hide away for the evening and still be able to watch the game. But that's not what he wanted and she knew that. He had always wanted her front row to know that someone out there was proud of him for doing something different. So that's what Alex felt she had to do.

Walking into the gym, she bit the inside of her cheek as she searched the bleachers for an open spot in the front row. Alex made her way across where the marching band played when Robin had spotted her. The trumpet had pulled away from her lips in surprise to see she had come. Of all the games, Alex never made it. Tonight was something new, something she never expected.

Looking up, Alex had searched the marching band until she saw Robin watching her in return. Tonight she did feel as if there was a change of heart within her. Hearing Robin's voice call her name this morning had a warmth wrap around her. It was everything she needed back in her life to finally feel something. Not hating herself for the smallest bit gave her that relief to see Robin again and find herself smiling. She missed her friend. Someone she always counted on she let slip away.

There was a chance Eddie was right about her. This was some other person no one could recognize and it was boring. He barely knew her and he missed who she used to be. Now she was starting to miss not only herself but those around her.

For a moment, Robin had seen Alex's lips turn up into the smallest smile— almost unnoticeable. Then she waved and the world around her disappeared. Not even Vickie had been on her mind, no matter how close she stood or how her arm brushed ever so gently against her. Not even that could distract Robin from seeing Alex Henderson smile at her.

Before Alex had walked away, Robin had felt her smile grow larger than it had in a long time as she returned the wave. She had thought of this day, the day she got her friend back, and none of those dreams could compare to how she felt now. The way her chest tightened in excitement, ready to already spill her guts to Alex about everything that's happened in her life, and the way her heart pounded against her chest as a reminder of how much she loved her friend. Nothing could compare.

All Alex had felt was panicked, afraid she was making mistakes. Letting Lucas and Robin even the tiniest bit into her life could send them into a spiral of nightmares. That's how it had always been. However, there was no turning back. Especially when she had taken that seat front row and close to the marching band. She chose them after all.

Robin had the perfect view of her and she couldn't help but sneak a glance every chance she could. Taking notice of this, Vickie had glanced from Alex to Robin. "Is she your friend?"

Startled by her voice, Robin had quickly pulled her eyes off of Alex. She forced a laugh as she avoided Vickie's eyes. "Oh, uh, y-yeah. I mean, I think so. I don't know. Well, we were but then, you know, she broke up with her boyfriend who is my best friend. But she's also my best friend even if she doesn't talk to me an-and... I'm sorry." Licking her lips, Robin gave one solid nod as she regained her focus. "Yeah, she's my friend."

Vickie had laughed at Robin's stammering as she brought her instrument back to her lips. Robin always rambled when she was nervous, which was always around Vickie. Most times she didn't know when it was a safe time to stop talking, and if she did, it was rare.

Normally Robin would have soaked in that moment of making Vickie laugh, replaying it over in her head so she could describe in exact detail to Steve how much it made her heart swell. This entire night had felt like a change was in the air in Hawkins because she couldn't even do that.

That moment was ripped away so easily when a pair arrived at the game. Walking through the gym doors, hand in hand with his latest fling had been Steve Harrington and his latest date. He was completely clueless about Alex's arrival and her all the same. For a few seconds, the two lived in blissful ignorance.

Clearing her throat, Robin had tried to gain his attention without bringing Alex's attention over. Holding up her hand, she waved it furiously around, desperate for him to take notice of her. All Steve could focus on was Brenda's rambling in his ear. She was a ditzy kind of girl who twirled her hair in her finger, smacked her gum too loud, and didn't know when to stop talking. She was the perfect girl for Steve Harrington a long time ago, now she was like a gnat in his ear. But she was pretty and she made for great stories to tell Robin, so he brought her tonight in hopes of maybe making something more.

As they made their way to the bleacher stairs, Steve had spotted Robin after all this time and flashed her a smile. Rather than make a face or secretly motion to Vickie so close to her as she always did, she had been feverishly pointing down across the bleachers to where Alex had sat front row.

Brenda had been clueless about the interaction as she continued to twirl her hair. "Does it bother you that, like, we might win a championship right after you graduated?"

Furrowing his brows at Robin, Steve began to look to where she directed him as he spoke to Brenda. "Yeah, yeah, that's an interesting point. Thank you so much for bringing that up, Brenda." He didn't seem all that interested in the conversation as he spoke, more focused on Robin's clear signs to look elsewhere. Letting Brenda up the steps first, Steve held onto her lower back as he looked down the front row he was about to pass up.

For that small moment, Steve and Alex had met each other's eyes and the world had gone quiet. His hand had fallen off of Brenda as she continued off without him. No words were exchanged in those few fleeting seconds they looked to one another. Seeing one another again felt like a lifetime passed just to see the one they loved.

It was Alex that let the world around her consume her again and bring her back to reality. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she was the first to look away from him. In those short moments, neither of them had managed a word, a smile— nothing. It was as if that's all they would ever be from now on to each other— nothing but a passing face in the crowd.

Steve's eyes fell to his feet, clearing his throat as he put a smile back on his face for his date. It was all fake. Being happy again was all he ever wanted, but to feel the way he imagined, it stayed with Alex. She had a piece of him he couldn't get back and he never wanted back. That part of him only ever wanted her as its home.

He couldn't bring himself to look at Robin, knowing she was giving him a disapproving look for not doing anything. She told him she wanted to try and make up for not being there when Alex needed her the most. All Robin wished for was that he could do the very same and make things right.

Alex turned her focus back to the court, her fingers anxiously playing with her lips. She made a promise not to run, to prove to Ms. Kelley she could tackle difficult situations, and to show Eddie she could change for the better just as he said. Seeing Steve was only going to get harder the longer she put it off. Them talking would be the next step she was willing to avoid. From the looks of it, that would be easy. Neither seemed eager on the outside, but on the inside, they longed to hear the other's voice. Even hearing a laugh would make the world stop turning for them.

All she had to do was focus on the game and then she wouldn't notice how his eyes had burned into her back, watching her from a few rows back wondering how things had gone all wrong for the two. From madly in love one second to the next where they were strangers. Even when Brenda leaned into him and placed a hand on top of his leg, he didn't notice. He was lost as he watched her.

Steve wanted to be happy for her. Her being here meant that there was someone out there that could break her and have her see some light again. But he couldn't bring himself to be happy that she wasn't alone. He was drunk on the jealousy that she could be here now but couldn't bring herself to the door when he needed to make things right. Yet there was so much love inside of him for her that even jealous, he wanted her to be beside him. He could forgive her for everything if she could only just talk to him one more time.

And all he had was Brenda. Alex let her nightmares, fears, and grief swallow her whole until death shut out all those she loved. Because that's all she ever saw when she closed her eyes at night-- death. It wasn't just Jim Hopper that was so easily pulled from her grasp, but everyone she ever held close to her heart— the ones that took this nightmare journey with her that began with the disappearance of Will Byers.

Life carried on and though things felt the same as they did just moments ago, seeing each made everything different. The world kept spinning, with no intention of stopping. The crowd around had continued to hype up the basketball game. And no one besides Steve and Alex knew how one look could change everything for them.

The marching band had put the music to a stop and as the principal had made his way to the center of the court, the crowd had fallen silent. "Everyone, please rise for the pledge of allegiance." He held his arms out, his eyes scanning the crowd as all those in the gym got to their feet. "Singing for us tonight, we have a very special guest. All the way from Nashville, our very own Tammy Thompson!"

Alex breathed out a laugh of disbelief which only got drowned out by the cheers of the crowd. She couldn't hold back as she turned to Robin in utter shock. Tearing her eyes off of Steve, Robin looked at her with her mouth wide open in disbelief. Alex had raised her eyebrows teasingly at her before another laugh escaped her lips. It didn't even matter to Robin how terribly embarrassing it had been for her to hear an old crush sing off-key. All that mattered was Alex Henderson had managed a laugh in what had been months.

___

Things for the Hawkins High basketball game seemed to be looking up for everyone in the stands and on the court. Despite it becoming a close game, Lucas Sinclair had known his lucky charm had been there. It wasn't some silly bandana, but Alex Henderson finally sitting front row of his game, cheering him on the one game he got a chance to play in. It was a night he could have only ever dreamed of happening and now it was a reality.

He would hold his breath on that final basket but he was confident he had it in him to score. He felt he already won tonight no matter the outcome, but he knew he couldn't fail tonight. Not for Hawkins, not for Alex, not for anyone but himself. When that basket sunk, air refilled his lungs as he took home the trophy for the team.

After that final score and the crowd roaring with excitement, it had finally come to an end. One Lucas didn't want to forget about. Everyone would disperse to their parties or their dates, but Alex was ready to head home.

Standing up from the bleachers, she had no one to wait for as she made her way to the exit. It wasn't long for the crowd to follow out soon after, still wild with a breath-holding win. But once everyone had made it out of the high school, the crowd had broken free across the parking lot and yard.

Pushing through the crowd, Robin had still held her instrument in hand to keep up with Alex. Even if it was short moments shared, she did not want an opening like tonight escape her grasp. She needed to speak with her even if it was going to be another few months until she could do it all over again.

"Henderson, wait up!" Free from the crowd, Robin raised her instrument when Alex looked back for her. "Hey!" Breathless, she ran her way up to her as she stood alone in the parking lot. "Alex, hi, oh my, god. Wow."

"Hey, Robin," she said calmly but her stomach had flipped as she finally found herself standing with Robin Buckley after all this time.

"I can't believe you came tonight," she breathed out in awe. "I mean, I wish I knew you were coming then I could've had my mom come pick you up before the game. Then we could have hung out beforehand, you know, like old times. It'd be kinda trippy since, yeah, you know, we haven't really talked much lately. Which, by the way, I really miss you. Like a lot. An unhealthy amount really. Sort of embarrassing." Coming to a fast stop, Robin gave a nervous smile, feeling she had messed up in her rambling.

She tended to do that, but Alex gave a small laugh as she shook her head. "Yeah, I missed you too. I'm sorry, uh, I didn't really know if I'd come or not. It was kind of a last-second decision. Thought I should be there for Lucas."

"Lucas, yeah, of course!" Robin took a step back and slapped her hands down to her side. "Can you believe he scored? He's been on the bench this entire time then showed up that chump, Jason. It was great, honestly."

"And Tammy, she was good too," Alex added which caused Robin to grow red and roll her eyes. It felt like old times again. It only made each of them miss each other more than they had thought they did. It was like a spark had ignited between the two that had gone out over the months. It was a warmth of love they needed after all this time.

It wasn't until Alex had reminded Robin that things weren't as they were before. Reaching for her back pocket, Alex had pulled out a pack of cigarettes and took one for herself. Putting the pack away, she placed it between her lips as she reached for her lighter. Robin watched in disbelief, seeing it clear that they may have changed over time but she wasn't willing to accept that.

Robin didn't wait for Alex to get the chance of lighting it before she pulled it from her mouth and threw it to the ground. "Gross. Nope, you quit last year. I'm so not letting you destroy your lungs for that shit."

Alex's shoulders slacked when she looked at Robin in annoyance. "Robin, come on."

"No," she fought back. "No way. Why do you even like that stuff? It's gross."

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because I used to smoke before a monster was in my head. He's the one that made me quit and I..." Alex turned her head away, licking her lips to keep herself from showing emotion. "I have to stop letting him control me." It couldn't have been simple for anyone, but for Alex it made her feel like she could finally be free. And she hated it, but it helped. It was something the nightmares couldn't take away.

Robin scrunched up her face in confusion. "He's gone, Alex. Gone. And he's not coming back. Quitting that shit was the only good thing he ever did for you believe it or not. You're totally in control now, so, no. No, I won't let you."

Alex looked back to Robin as she bit her bottom lip. She wasn't looking for a fight, not after all this time. Not with Robin but she needed to make it clear why she could fall back into bad habits. "I haven't had control over myself in a long time and I've been alone so, smoking felt... It felt like before all this happened."

"You're not alone," she reminded her. "I've always been here. And now that I know you're smoking, I'm not leaving. At least not until you cut this shit out of your life right now. Because I'll be pissed if we survived Russians and other crap just for you to get lung cancer and croak out on me."

Alex kept her eyes on Robin, never breaking apart as they each stood their ground. But Robin was a fighter and not going to back down. She narrowed her eyes at Alex until finally, there was a break. Sighing, Alex took the pack from behind her back and held it up for her to see. Backing up, she had made her way to the nearest trash can and tossed them in. "There. Gone, just like him."

"And every other creepy monster. Now you're stuck with me so deal with it. I told you you're my dingus."

Alex's mouth parted in shock at how Robin was always herself. Now that crushing weight that rested on her shoulders felt as if they lifted when she heard her voice. Alex closed her mouth into a small smile as her eyes found the floor. "I've missed you," she admitted under her breath. A part of her wished Robin didn't hear. Then she still had that chance to run far away from the evil Alex carried with her.

Finally breaking out in a smile again, Robin felt the air in her lungs fill back up, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She heard every word and that was all that mattered. "I've missed you far more than you can imagine, Henderson. You left me with a bunch of kids."

Alex lifted her head to reveal her small smile before she finally let a breathless laugh fall from her lips. "Are you busy the rest of the night?" Robin shook her head at her question. Giving a small nod, Alex went against every fiber of her being that told her to stay far away from those she loved. "Do you wanna spend the night? I have more packs at home and you'll probably have to be the one to destroy them or it's not happening."

Startled, Robin's mouth fell open in disbelief as she began to stutter. "Y-yeah. I-I guess so. If that's... that's what you really want. I just need to... I gotta put my instrument away." Holding up her trumpet, she let herself laugh nervously. "Toot, toot," she mimicked as she held it near her lips. "That was weird. Yeah, I wanna spend the night."

Alex couldn't help but smile at Robin's antics and felt she made a great decision. "Toot, toot," she mocked. "We can head back in the school if you gotta put it away then. My mom will be here shortly to come get me and Dustin."

"Yeah, yeah, come on." Robin had stayed close to Alex, even going as far as linking her arm with hers. She wasn't going to let this moment slip away, and she certainly wasn't going to let Alex. She needed to keep her close, not letting her run off at any chance she got. It just needed to feel like old times and then Alex would maybe want to stay. It's what Robin needed to tell herself to know this would all be okay.

"So, do you still like Tammy or after hearing her sing..." Alex's question trailed off as Robin gave a pinch to her arm. "Ow, yeah, okay, got it. Don't mention the singing."

"I don't like her anymore. It was a small crush anyways."

"It was a massive one, but okay," she laughed. "Well, is there anyone else? Was it Stacey Reed? Did I call it?"

Robin scoffed in disbelief. "Uh, no. See, I'm not insane. You don't like girls like I do, so you don't see that Stacey Reed is not the catch you think she is."

Alex frowned at her words. She thought Stacey was a nice girl and was a bit cooky like Robin. It seemed perfect to her. "She can't be that bad."

"She's not bad. It's just... She's no Vickie."

"Vickie?" Alex repeated back in a whisper. "Literally sitting next to you in marching band Vickie? Super fast talker?"

"Don't tell me you don't like her either." Robin narrowed her eyes at Alex as she held up her hands in defense. Not liking Tammy Thompson was now understandable, she was nothing like Vickie. Robin's heart beat for Vickie and having Alex's approval meant everything. "No, no. I like her. She's pretty awesome, actually. Maybe you're right is all. I have no taste because Vickie is a lot better than Stacey."

"She is, trust me." Robin had turned to Alex with a smile but the sound of her name being called pulled her to a halt. Frozen in fear, Robin had looked over her shoulder in time to see Steve grab on as he made his way around her. "Hey, did you need a ride home?" Steve's eyes traveled from Robin to Alex causing him to clear his throat nervously. "Either one of you?"

Robin was wide-eyed, caught in a situation she was sure she could have avoided. She thought that Steve Harrington was too busy with Brenda to even think twice about her. He always had plans that helped him bounce from girl to girl. "Oh, um," Robin turned to Alex before she met Steve's eyes and shook her head. "N-no. Her mom is coming so..."

"Yeah, yeah," he said quickly.

"Don't you have a date, Harrington?" Robin asked curiously.

"Right, yeah, of course. I was just checking. Brenda's sort of..." Covering his mouth as he coughed nervously, Steve avoided looking at either of the girls. It did help, however, that Alex didn't bother looking his way once. Painful was one way to put it but to him it felt like torture. She was so close but this was the furthest they had ever felt from one another. "She liked Tammy's singing is all..."

Robin gave a nod as she grinned in amusement. Brenda was just the same as all the other girls he found himself taking out on dates. One thing and he was immediately turned off, ready to continue his search for the perfect girl. All he ever found himself doing was comparing him to the only girl he felt he could ever love. His heart belonged to her and nothing was changing that.

Alex wasn't so interested in hearing their conversation. She didn't need or even want to hear what he had to say. Even if Steve had said Brenda had been the worst date of his life, she wouldn't have cared. He had still taken her out and held her hand. No matter how bad the date was, he would kiss her goodnight. She just couldn't imagine anyone else's lips on his but her very own. And it killed her inside to know she was the one that had let him go so he could do that very thing.

Her heart had ached, tearing apart inside until a distraction had run up to her, grabbing ahold of her roughly. Lucas didn't seem to care if he had hurt her in the process. He was not going to let Alex leave tonight without feeling her in his arms. Squeezing his eyes shut tight, his laugh muffled against her as he swayed from side to side. He didn't need to see it to know she was smiling all the same because he too, could feel her laugh against his.

"You actually came," he grinned. "Did you see that shit?"

Alex had pulled him out at arm's length, unable to hide away a smile she had hid away so well all these months. "Of course, I saw that shit." Her smile had begun to fade away as quickly as it had come to her lips. "Thanks for inviting me tonight. I'm really glad I came."

"Well, hey, if you want, there's a party at Benny's. You're totally welcome to come. You know, drinking..." He grew anxious as he looked over her face. He didn't want to disappoint her and from what he's heard, him drinking could be a disappointment he couldn't let happen. "I probably won't drink. Y-yeah, I don't do that shit. It's gross."

"Right," she chuckled. "But, uh, no. Sorry. It's just... I asked Robin to spend the night and well, I don't want to blow her off. But you go ahead and have fun. Just don't drink too much if you do. Hangovers are not fun, trust me. But, you know, call me if you do and want to leave. I can't drive but me and Robin will steal my mom's car for you."

The corner of his lip turned up, "Dustin told me you don't drink."

"What Dustin doesn't know is for the best," she whispered. Giving him a push, she forced him to go off and find his friends before he questioned her too much. As he began to back away, he raised a finger at her, "You were my lucky charm tonight, Alex! Thank you!" In the night, Lucas Sinclair ran off to catch up with his buddies for a night worth celebrating.

Coming up to the group, Brenda was all smiles and giggly hello's to Steve and Robin as she snaked her arm around Steve. He was hesitant but placed his arm around her shoulder with an awkward smile that floated from Robin to Alex. But she wasn't looking. Alex kept her head down, feeling her heart beating against her chest to be so close to him, but even closer was someone else in her rightful place. Robin flinched at the interaction as she grabbed onto Alex's arm and pulled her closer.

She faked a smile at the two as she began to pull Alex towards the school. "Yeah, okay, see ya," she called over her shoulder, interrupting Brenda mid-sentence. When the two were at a safe distance, she let out a heavy sigh as she released her hold on Alex. "I am so sorry."

"No, it's fine," Alex responded softly. It was anything but fine, but she couldn't blame Robin. "He can be with whoever he wants. I broke up with him so..."

Robin looked over to Alex and could easily spot how quick she was to mask her hurt. It's what Steve had done all these months. Neither of them wanted to admit how they felt, all they could ever say was it's fine. But nothing was. Having Alex come to this game was supposed to be everything she ever dreamed of, and some parts were. However, it allowed Robin to see how everyone let her go when she was falling apart inside.

It was hard to let her go, but it was easy to pretend it wasn't happening, which is what a lot of them did. They wanted her to bounce back from her pain and it's what they expected and now she saw that shouldn't have been a choice. They were supposed to love her and be there for her no matter how hard she pushed. So Robin took her hand in hers. She didn't know how to say it properly, but she needed Alex to know she was there no matter that. One day at a time and she was certain she could bring her back.