I would appreciate if you read this note till end. It's almost like...I feel like giving up. On everything. Wattpad, writing, books.

I honestly have no idea what to do.
At this point, all I wish is to quit. I'm done trying to promote my books on instgram constantly with no reach only for algorithm also to not promote me.

And Wattpad?

Well targets aren't reached and there are no new readers. I respect my loyal readers, but as a perspective of an author, how would one wish to continue when there's no promotion in anything. Last year se I'm stuck on this 750 followers. 1K followers bhi reach nahi hua and it's going to be four years here.

I know sabr ka phal is meetha but how much more do I wait? I'm clueless about what to do. My efforts to write an update between a hell of a hectic week is just not answered.

And all I feel is...why am I doing this anymore?

Writing is what I loved. I still do. With all my heart. And you know what, I still draft chapters because my characters give me peace. It's the world that is in my control. But there's this another fact that I never have that urge to publish the chapters.

Here's a fact, this book has three chapters drafted and Rules and Roses have nearly ten chapters drafted. But publish karne ka man hi nahi karta hai yaar. And how long am I preparing for rules and roses?

2023 beginning. An year. And still it's so behind. Abhi bhi itna keh kr regular readers will comment more to complete the target but yaar...this is not why I'm writing this.

Thank you readers for being there but I feel as if this one sided efforts is doing nothing but playing with my mental health terribly. I'm already surrounded by academic stress and Wattpad engagement is not giving me the relaxation I want.

Everytime I open Wattpad, to see notifications but guess what? Those aren't of votes or comments. But publishing of new chapters of the books I read. I feel terrible. My eyes almost well up seeing the engagement on all of my books. Beautifully broken received beautiful response but it hasn't even crossed 100k reads even though I planned everything so religiously for that book. This book did not cross 50k. Rules hasn't even reached 20k.

What do I do?

How much more should I try?

The impact of this note will not be longer than two or three updates. But then?

I did take a break in middle because of my boards and competitive exams but I did draft chapters so that I can update ones target is reached.

Guess what?

Target for the chapter was reached after two weeks 😂

Yay. A writer with 5 books published and yet, this is the progress.

I recieved offer from two to three platforms to monetize my books but I didn't coz YOU people won't like it. But me hi pagal hu.

Even the followers here did not even follow me on scroll stack. Me waha dar ke mare post nahi kar rahi, knowing that the response I get here, waha iske quarter bhi nahi milega.

I don't know what I will do. Whether I'll continue or not. I don't want to take any impulsive decision. Yet I will think about it. I'm not on a break. Chapters are drafted, I'm ready to publish but only if I feel like my efforts are respected and returned.

Secretly I do hope that something happens overnight and everything goes like I want but...my life has never been like that. Nothing has happened in years, what will a night do.

Anyways, the conclusion is, if the response isn't what I expect. I shall unpublish all my books. No it isn't a threat. It's the answer to all my problems. The reach of my books aren't anyways increasing. Doesn't matter. 🙂

Thanks for sticking till the end of this note.