Severus's POV

Just a few weeks ago my days were just as mundane as always.

Day in and day out, dusk til dawn...my days were ever on repeat.

Scolding students for their lack of curtesy and consideration for school grounds to mixing deathly potions during and after classes was my every day life.

Getting engulfed in a book for hours on end, exploring the secrets and process steps to brewing the most dangerous of potions and spells.

I preferred that repeat but that was until a certain doe-eyed woman threw a wrench in it all.

Always running to my doorstep every time she got hurt, as if she had nowhere else to go.

And even though I researched all I could about our new Professor of Hogwarts, I couldn't figure her out.

She seemed very talented in spells and was even rumored to have been the top of her class where she studied, but every time I even glimpsed her way...to me...she seemed to always be in such distress...weak...so different from what I had read and heard about her.

I couldn't help but be puzzled by this woman.

Even a tad bit intrigued.

She made little to no sense to me, so naturally I would've disregarded her and moved on.

But something about her...the way her eyes never seemed to waiver in fear or disgust when gazing upon me alone was enough to attract my undivided attention.

Unlike so many others who either hated or feared me.. she was the very first... in a long while to see me as an equal of sorts. And so from such curiosity grew wanting...a wanting in which to know her even the more.

I wanted to know the truth about her.

I wanted to draw ever so closer to her...but I had only wished for only a little...instead I had drawn closer than I had expected.

Like a moth to a flame.

Learning of how gentle she was around children unlike how I was with them.

Even though if it was anyone else I'm sure I wouldn't have cared, I wouldn't have even batted an eye.

As I gazed upon her in present time... I couldn't fathom or even imagine what my life would've been like without her in it anymore.

Everything about her...every detail I took notice to drowned in my thoughts.

Even this past week...I couldn't get my mind off of her delicate small frame that always had such an elegance.

Even if she was a bit clumsy along the way.

She was swift to take over any thoughts I had, replacing all with thoughts of how she was doing...if she was hating me for my naturally cold tone that's often then not used against her half the time we cross paths.

Or if she may have been deliberately trying to get my attention...and then I always ask why?

Why was she wanting all the time she could spare for me? When she should have been resting from her injury after injury.

She was wasting her time with me.

As much as she was darling, she was also too fragile compared to me.

I'd only hurt her.

So I couldn't succumb to such emotions.

It was off, even unreal to me as to why I felt attracted to her in this way.

More than just as a man to a woman...but desiring a more serious standing with her...someone to build something serious with and not just because she interested me...I think.

I think I was falling for her even more than I thought.

The way she smiled...she smiled like the sky was sunny every moment of the day, as if to always see the brighter side in any situation.

Then there was the way I saw her in her troubles...where her world seemed to almost shatter...a world in which she seemed unable to escape from.

But still she didn't falter from the weight.

...

As Melanie stood in front of me with weary eyes, I couldn't help but notice the way she was looking at me. Such a longing gaze...she had eyes like no other.

Seeing her eyes full of tears tore something inside me... as if I should've done something about her situation...to somehow protect her.

But I withheld such unnatural thoughts. Thoughts foreign to me.

And then she spoke quite sharply unlike a few moments ago.

"You may berate me all you want. But one thing is clear, I cannot help but be drawn to you."

That was why...Why she seen to look for me so constantly.

I then took the opportunity to get closer to her once she had closed her eyes for just a brief moment.

"Drawn to me?" I couldn't believe what I had heard from her.

What did she find in such a cold and unlovable man as I? I wasn't dashing in the slightest and I for sure wasn't even ever kind to her like anyone else would've normally been.

I wasn't a looker or even remotely funny.

As I had hoped for her to be joking she only intensely blushed in my presence.

"Y-yes."

"You find yourself drawn to me." I said once more as if to confirm her feelings for me.

Being so close to her also caused my senses to be filled with lavender and rose petal oil.

I leaned in just enough to get close to her face as I inhaled the scent of her soft hair.

Her eyes only closed at the close proximity between us as what I did next was purely out of control.

All I could feel was my lips firmly pressed to hers.

At my touch she became stiff which caused a bit of discomfort and hesitation for me at first.

Knowing to never cross the line was what I was good at...until she appeared.

Knowing restrain was what I knew, discipline was what I grew up under...But all that became like vapor in the air with the woman who stood in front of me.

My cold hands reached the ends of her face as they traveled to the back of her head, combing through her hair for a deeper kiss.

I could not restrain myself like I would have before.

Melanie didn't help in the slightest as she gave in, relaxing to my touch. Melting like ice to a fire's flame.

But only for a moment did we share such a kiss before it was broken off by her.

Melanie, as gentle as she was, pushed me away.

Her hands slightly pressing against my chest as I respected her space.

I felt hesitation from her separation from me as she shyly looked away.

Her eyes never once hit mine after she had parted the kiss.

I couldn't say anything. For what could a man say such as I? I who had never once gave in to romance. To have had a chance to even kiss her was such a rare experience already.

To feel for her as she was feeling for me.

But as all life goes...there sits reality. The stone cold problem to all dreams and wishes... as well as long lasting desires of any sort of happiness.

As her eyes finally met mine I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her.

A feeling of uncertainty filled my every being for just a moment.

And even for just a moment, that moment drew me away from what I wanted.

From what I desired.

I knew then as she looked so fragile before me...that I couldn't allow myself to love her.

But that didn't mean for a second that I didn't want to.

My hand went to the side of her face, moving a strand of hair away to reveal the entirety of her facial features and expression she was giving me.

Her eyes brimming with hope and affection toward me.

As if she was waiting for me.

"Professor-" She tried to speak but I couldn't bring myself to hear another word from her.

"Don't say another word."

She was frozen as she still continued.

"I don't understand...?"

"You-I can't take advantage of you Miss. Lockhart..."

She said nothing at first, giving me a chance to continue.

"I can't bring myself to love you...because if I do...it will never work."

Hope that once brimmed her eyes was instantly replaced with a wave of disappointment and hurt.

I truly never wished to ever hurt her but I had to be stern and set in my ways with her.

If I didn't, I'd lead her on into hoping we could actually be together.

Her and I were just too different.

"Then why did you kiss me?" She asked quite unhappily as she looked me dead in the eye.

"I don't deserve someone like you. I can't."

I finally let go of her as she stood there in disbelief.

I was hurting her...that I knew. But I couldn't say sorry. I wouldn't.

She has to hate me. Despise me like all the rest...she must do so or I wouldn't be able to move forward.

"Go. Go before the sun comes up. You need rest."

She needed to leave. To leave me behind in her shadow...falling for her was dangerous, and if I were to give in to the temptation of loving her...

If I then lost her...It would affect me even more than losing Lily to James.

Who always made it known that I couldn't have her.

Lily...never loved me...so to find a woman who was feeling the same way...

It was something special but also unreal.

And so unpredictable.

"I won't go."

"Miss.Lockhart...you can't be with someone like me. I've let innocent people of witches, wizards and muggles alike die. I've done things that are unforgivable."

I froze for just a moment as I kept my eyes to hers...as if to let her know I didn't mean to hurt her.

"...It would be something beyond asking mercy for Professor, for what I've done. What I have done and what I'm involved in...It's the reason someone else left me and I just couldn't bring myself to drag you into it."

"I don't care what you've done Severus." Determination filled every inch of her face.

I could immediately tell that she wasn't planning to back down.

As the night of the moon glistened through, its moonlight hit just perfectly upon her...showing just how brilliant she was.

Just then snow started to fall.

"You're making it snow?"

Her breath was warm against my face as she looked at me with eyes of slight annoyance.

"It's really not that important right now."

I still awaited her answer while she sighed in defeat.

"Fine. It's a charm that I don't completely have control over. Happy?"

"Partly."

"Well alright then. Now...I want you to listen to what I'm about to say."

She put her hand on my chest, causing me to freeze up.

Her palm was warm, nervously warm.

"Breathe." She spoke as I oddly listened.

"Close your eyes." She spoke again. I obeyed.

"Now listen."

As I listened the sound of slight wind blowing through the halls from an open window filled my ears.

A small sound of a nightingale bird, fluttering of leaves as they scraped the stone pathways, felling a cold light of the moon shining on my face through a cracked window.

...And a warm hand that was now placed on the side of my face while the other matching pair was in my right hand.

I opened my eyes to see Melanie once more.

She had put her head to my chest.

"You're just as human as me. You have no lesser value than anyone else." She looked up at me with such understanding and empathy in her eyes.

So unafraid.

"Even your heart beat is the same as mine. So why must you doubt yourself for what you truly are, what you truly want?"

Snow touched her eyelashes as I couldn't help but notice while keeping a solemn expression about myself.

"You're making it snow still."

She seemed a bit frustrated in knowing if I was even getting anything she was saying to me.

"The snow right now doesn't matter Severus, my question comes down to knowing if you even have the smallest hint of affections for me? If not, I'll let you be. And I, with all sincerity, swear to stay away."

"If you must know." I spoke as I took her left hand with my right.

My hand was only cold for just a moment before the warmth of her hand was shared with mine.

I would have embraced her if I could have...but there was no great enough excuse to do so...not unless we were more.

"My love for you is undeniable. But that does not mean we can be together."

I carefully moved her in closer to me as I was now hovering over her lips.

"But we can." Her eyebrows furrowed just a bit.

"If you wish to be with me, you must not hold back. You can't hold back any feelings good or bad with me. I only ask for your trust. For your undying love as I do for you."

What we were getting ourselves into might just be our undoing...but if we were both willing to try and take the leap...then let it be.

"You have my trust Severus. Always and forever."

Her hand reaching the side of my face as she touched foreheads with me.

"You'll always have my trust as long as you have me."

The snow that Melanie created then turned into flower petals as they dropped all around.

A charm spell she didn't mean to cast.

Just then the petals that Melanie had created vanished. 

Being a touch away from kissing, I looked her in the eyes to see an innocent nervousness as her face had shown a cherry red.

I could tell there was wanting in her eyes but she tried her best to hide it.

"Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for Professor."

Before I could speak another word someone appeared just beyond the end of the hall.

"Who's there? It's past curfew Professor or not!"

It was Filch on duty.

I was going to let go of Melanie and hide her behind my door but she had grabbed a hold of me quicker than I could think and used the transportation spell.

When we had transported I had stumbled above her and felt something soft.

I couldn't hide my reddening face then.

She looked up with an embarrassed but cheerful smile, as if she was holding in a laugh or two.

But also just happened to notice where my hand had landed and her eyes went big as we both were frozen.

I was surprised at the fact that her chest felt larger than I had thought. With the way she dressed so modestly I would have thought she was significantly smaller...but...that's something even I wouldn't tell her.

It's too embarrassing. Plus I had to stop these thoughts because they were definitely not helping her and I's situation.

After a short while I let go realizing I hadn't let go yet due to pure shock and messy thoughts.

"S-sorry. That was indecent of me."

She gave me a shy look unlike the reaction of anger I was expecting from her.

I then got up offering a hand to her, getting a hold of myself in the process.

"I'd guess that was your first time using the spell?"

"Yes it was." Her voice was sweet and soft as she laughed. Her face still blushing just as much as before.

"Sorry, I just never had to use it before."

She then took my hand, standing up alongside me.

"Then I guess I will have to teach you a spell or two after all."