i try to write you
but words are slipping
through the cracks of my old notebook

i try to paint you
but all the colors seep
into the canvas and they fade away

and my heart is left
all but a shade of grey

your memories are flooding in
though they're just bylines
i could never read everything
about your soul and your mind

and the walls are closing in
in my bedroom
crushing me like that phone call
on february 8th
it's all too much for me to take

and i wonder if
your friends ask you about me
do you find it hard to recite all the lines
of seasons ever-changing
love that's never-ending
and soulmates who were never meant to be

i try to see you
in the dark space of my mind
too late at night

i try to chase you
make you turn back around
and say you're sorry

but i wake up in cold sweat
with a pen in my hand
and my notebook pages ripped to shreds
my soul must've come out
when i was asleep
'cause i didn't mean to break you yet again

it hurt to lose a love
that was never mine
and i try to write you
but i never could describe
how perfectly idealized
you are inside my mind