I let out a frustrated breath, knowing what he's going to tell Harks will most likely result in me being sent back to California for a reassignment mission. But then I remind myself that he's just trying to do what he believes is the right thing, and as infuriating as it is... trying to protect me from having the same fate as his brother.

"What's all the yelling about?" I hear a tired voice ask behind me, and I twist around to see Ames leaning against the doorway.

I can't help but sigh, and glance back just in time to see Harks gesture for Beau to walk into his office. "Beau's brother is also an I.S.A.I.A agent, and he was captured by the circle tonight."

Amber sucks in a deep breath beside me, clasping a hand to her mouth as we watch Harks glance over in our direction, before gently shutting the door to his office. "That's terrible... I hope we'll be able to rescue him in time."

My chest heaves slightly with a sigh, as I nod and turn to look at Amber. "Hopefully," I mutter, but we both know that no agent who has ever been captured by the Serpent's Circle has made it out alive.

"Well," Amber begins, setting a hand down on my shoulder. "I don't know about you, but I'm not going to wait around any longer for Harks, him being a superior be damned. I'm exhausted."

I nod again and place a hand on hers. "Do you want to crash in my room tonight? I don't think I'm going to sleep much tonight," I feel him perk up in the back of my mind.

I can just feel the nightmares coming.

"Are you sure? You only have two days left to prepare for your final evaluation with Harks." Ames asks worriedly, but I gently pat her hand and shake my head wearily.

"I'll be fine," I'm pretty sure I won't have to worry about the evaluation anyways. "Now let's get you to my room, and I'll call Gus so he doesn't stay up all night worrying about you."

Amber nods, leaning her head against my shoulder tiredly as we walk in the direction of the elevator.

"Thanks Harp," she says groggily after a few seconds, closing her eyes as I guide her to the elevator doors and press the button. "You know, I've always admired you for how strong you are. Here you are, after taking out five assassins single-handedly, and not needing to sleep... while I barely fought one and I'm already exhausted."

I force out a laugh and gently pull her into the elevator as the doors open. "They just caught you by surprise Ames, I'm sure you would kick all of their asses on any other night."

Ames nods into my shoulder, as the floor beneath our feet jolts down slightly. "Damn right, I just- I wasn't focused tonight."

I frown, raising an eyebrow as I wrap a comforting arm around her shoulder. "And why is that?"

Ames sighs, straightening slightly to drag a hand across her tired eyes. "I've just been worried about you lately. You don't talk to me like you used to."

My fingers immediately tense on her shoulder, but I force them to relax as I look down at her. "What do you mean? I still talk to you," I give her shoulder a gentle squeeze when she looks away irritatedly. "This week has just been really busy, and you know that."

"Yes, but I'm not just talking about this week!" Ames exclaims, startling me when she take a sudden step back.

"Calm down Ames, it's okay," I try to soothe her, but she just shakes her head and holds up a hand.

"No it's not okay, you should feel comfortable talking to your best friend! It feels like you haven't genuinely let me in for the past year after you moved away and started dating that guy."

I suck in a deep breath, my teeth grinding together as I remember the time I had moved away from Ames in California, and in with him.

I was stupid back then... thinking that all I needed was to be with him, and that I didn't need anyone else. He was the perfect partner... but still, what was I thinking shutting everyone out like that?

"And then suddenly you're moving back to California eight months later, and joining the Blue Jay Sector to train with me as an agent! Neither Burris nor you would tell me what was going on, or why you were back. How do you think that made me feel, being left in the dark?" Ames asks tiredly, as she crosses her arms and leans back against the elevator wall behind her

"Burris offered to let me train at the Blue Jay Sector after I decided to move back from Oregon. I would've told you if you just asked," I urge, but Amber shakes her head in disagreement.

"No, I've never been one to pry, but you and Burris were extremely closed off when it came to that subject. I figured you would let me in when you were ready, but here we are less than a year later and you still haven't told me."

"That's because it's complicated Ames!" I growl irritatedly, mirroring her stance by crossing my own arms. "It's hard for me to talk about that- hell, the only reason Burris knows is because-" I pause, as I finish the sentence in my head.

Is because he was his uncle, and was the first to be informed when he died.

"Ugh! Don't you see how frustrating this is!" Amber cries, "You can't even tell me vaguely what happened! How am I supposed to help you if you can't even talk to me?"

"What if I don't want help?" I shout suddenly, causing Amber's eyes to widen. "What if you all just minded your own business and let me fix my own problems, huh? It's always let me help you, let me fix you! But what if you can't?" I laugh hysterically, ripping a hand through my own hair. "What if no one can?" I whisper, my voice breaking on the words as my eyes annoyingly begin to water.

"Oh Harp," Ames sighs, as I turn away and drag a hand across the tears that drip down my cheeks. She wraps her arms around my shoulder, gently lowering me to the ground as my chest begins to heave up and down with silent sobs.

"I want to be able to move past this," I weep, shoving my face into the fabric of her black dress as more sobs wrack through my body. "I just don't know how."

Amber begins to rub gentle circles on my back, setting her chin on the top of my head. "I know Harp, I know. I'm sorry for yelling at you... I just want to understand."

"I know Ames," I sob, closing my eyes as I allow myself to just cry. I'm too tired to try and stop myself anyways. "I want you to too, I want to get past this."

Amber doesn't reply, as she holds me together while I fall apart in her arms, lowering the wall that kept all of the emotions from the past year at bay.

"It's okay Harp," she whispers, patting my back as I continue to sob. "Just let it out, don't hold back,"

***

We probably stayed huddled there on the floor for another two hours, despite the elevator doors continuing to open and close. I knew Amber was exhausted and drained, but still, she let me cry into her shoulder for half of the night just to hear me recount what had happened with him.

Some things were too painful for me to tell her in detail, but she was patient and didn't push me to tell her anything I struggled to say.

It was the first time in a long time that I had let anyone in, besides Burris, and not even he knew the entire story.

Amber would sob with me in the moments where the truth seemed too painful to bear, and let me wail when I told her I was so angry with myself. I couldn't bring myself to tell her exactly why, though I knew she could piece together the details.

Once it reached one a.m in the morning, we both leaned on each other and stumbled down to the first floor where my room was. My head drooped forward as Ames struggled to hold me up and unlock the door to my room.

The rest of that night, I don't remember.

I must've fallen asleep after Amber grabbed the gun that had been sitting on the bed and placed it on the dresser in my room, before depositing my seemingly dead body onto the black sheets of my bed.

When I woke up, I dug my phone out of my pocket to see that I had slept in until one o'clock in the evening, my gold key glowing on the floor next to the door where Amber had slid it through the crack.

I groan and stretch out my limbs, noticing an odd pressure has been lifted from my chest. I watch the blades of the silver fan above me spin, causing a strand of hair to blow onto my cheek. I quickly blow it away and lie there for a few more seconds, before jerking out of bed and stumbling into the bathroom.

I don't dare to look at myself in the mirror as I strip out of my clothes from yesterday and step into the warm stream of water.

As I massage a glob of shampoo into my hair, I decide that today I'm going to take the day for myself. I realize that because I finally let Amber in, and talked about the events and pain that I've held so closely to my heart, is why my chest feels so much lighter.

Almost as if I feel more... free.

I finish rinsing the shampoo from the raven strands of hair, grinding my teeth together when I let go of it and reach fr the soap, the weight of it causing my head to jerk back.

I'm really starting to get sick of how long my hair is, maybe it would be a good idea to go and get it finally cut.

I finish rinsing off my body, before stepping out of the shower to dry myself off. Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea.