"You have a place in my heart no one else could ever have"
-F. Scott Fitzgerald"

tw; miscarriage (i will explain more at the end)

"Derek, what's going on?" Maya asks as she stands to her feet and Derek places his other hand on his car while keeping the phone to his ear. "I don't know" Derek groans and Maya's breathing starts to pick up.

"I was just walking- Maya, I need help. I don't kn- Ah!" Derek shouts over the phone. "Derek! What is happening!? Derek!" Maya shouts over the phone as she hears a clattering sound and the sounds of struggling. "Call Hotch, Maya! Call him!" Derek says before the line cuts off, leaving Maya in complete and utter shock...

______

Derek walks up towards the house and opens the door before shutting it behind him. "Hello hello hello!" He shouts as he looks around the entryway of the house before a little girl rush down the stairs, excited to see him.

"Daddy!" The little girls screams before she rushes up to Derek, who greets her with open arms, but has a confused look on his face.

"Daddy? Yeah, I'm home!" Derek goes along with it before pulling away from the hug and kissing the cheek of his supposed daughter. "Now tell me how we work at the same place, but you get home hours after me?" Maya questions as she exits the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Uh oh, Daddy's in trouble. But it's time for dinner so go wash up!" Derek urges and the little girl rushes off up the stairs to go clean up her hands before dinner as Derek stands to his feet and looks at Maya before they meet up in the dinner room as Maya sets the clean plates on the dinner table.

"Hotch needed help with some paperwork so I told him to head home and let me handle it" Derek says as he gently rests his hands on her waist. "You could've called. I picked up Fran 20 minutes late from the babysitter's house" Maya states and Derek's before he turns Maya around to face him.

"It was work and I'm sorry" Derek apologizes before he leans in and places his lips onto Maya's, which she accepts and kisses him back before they both pull away, looking into each other's eyes.

"Next time, tell me because I was sitting here teaching Fran her multiplication tables. We got up to 7" Maya says as Derek chuckles and pulls Maya closer towards him, her arms wrapping around his neck. "Do you know how much I love you?" Derek asks and Maya flirtatiously raises her eyebrow, "No, but I'm willing to find out" Maya jokes before Derek pulls her in for another kiss, never wanting to let go until he sees someone in the corner and immediately pulls away from Maya.

"Derek, what's wrong?" Maya asks, pulling Derek back into reality. He wasn't at home with Maya and his daughter. His daughter didn't even exist. He was kidnapped and taken to an unknown location by people he didn't know of.

Maya was nowhere near him, and he didn't know when or if he'd ever see her again.

He was alone and pain was about to be caused...

____

Maya sits in Rossi's office, her leg bouncing up and down repeatedly as she is sitting down on the small couch in front of his desk. The call kept repeating in her head over and over again and she could hear how distorted Derek's voice was beginning to sound.

Her breathing continued to stay heavy and fast paced as she begun to think what would've happened if she never requested Derek to go out and get ice cream before their conversation.

Meanwhile, in the office area JJ and Reid get back from the abduction site and meet up with Hotch and Natalie. "Did you find anything?" Natalie asks before Reid raises up a clear bag of evidence and hands it to Hotch.

"No sign of him but they left that in his car at the parking lot" Reid states as JJ worriedly looks into Rossi's office and sees a sad faced and worried Maya sitting down, not saying a word.

"Has Maya said anything?" JJ asks, looking to Natalie. "She told us that it sounded like 3 to 5 attackers on the phone, and he was definitely drugged before the call was cut off" Natalie explains as the teams thinks it was a coordinated and planned attack by professionals. And that raises the suspicion that this could be related to the whole ring of assassins they took down. Hotch then announces that he's put all of their families under guard, just to be safe.

"You think I can go talk to her?" JJ asks, to which Hotch nods his head and JJ instantly makes her way towards Rossi's office and when she enters Maya doesn't even bat an eye in her direction.

"Hey, would you like something to drink? Coffee? Water?" JJ asks quietly as she takes a seat next to Maya, who doesn't answer. "Just tell me if you have any new information" Maya orders and JJ shakes her head, indicating she can't give Maya what she's asked for because they don't have any new information.

With that, Maya abruptly stands to her feet, sniffling in her tears. "This is all my fault" Maya says softly as JJ shakes her head. "You can't blame yourself for this, Maya. This wasn't-".

"I told him to go get freaking ice cream in the middle of the night! I sent him out and I'm the reason he didn't make it back home! His sisters are calling me, going crazy and I don't know what to tell them because I only know that he's gone, and I have no idea where he is!" Maya shouts, a single tear sliding down her cheek as she looks at JJ, who slowly stands to her feet.

"I just wanted to tell him that-" Maya catches herself before she reveals too much, leaving JJ concerned on what she was about to say. "It doesn't matter. What matters is finding Derek because- because I can't lose him" Maya says as she wipes the tears from her eyes right before Reid walks into the office, stating that Garcia is ready to meet in the conference room.

"We'll let you know everything" JJ says, making Maya furrow her eyebrows in confusion. "I'm coming with. If you think you're helping Derek without me, then you got another thing coming" Maya says as she exits the office and makes her way to the conference room.

_____

"Okay, this is the block Derek was taken from. The blue dot is him" Garcia explains as her eyes look up to Maya, who doesn't sit down and continues to stand as he hands rest on the chair in front of her. Derek's chair.

"Then at 9:23, we lose him." Garcia states and Maya tightly grips the chair as Derek's voice on the call fades in and out of her mind.

The way he screamed for help. The way he didn't know what was going on. That's something Maya will never forget.

Reid points out that it's unlikely that this is related to the League, since the encrypted satellite communications that the mercs are using are far beyond the tech level of most internet crime. Most internet crime is phishing attacks and fake websites that steal credit card information. The league was on a whole other level and kidnapped a legendary-level hacker to do their bidding.

"Maya, I know you want to help but you were on the phone with him. They had to of known about you. Garcia and Natalie, along with some armed agents, will take you to your home to pack a bag" Hotch sates and Maya scoffs as she shakes her head.

"Hell no. I'm not being put in witness protection again. I'm not being shut out from information about Derek, no. I'm helping you guys. I have to-" Maya starts to choke up on her words before she stands up straight, catching her breath.

"Let is at least take you to your house to get something to eat" Garcia urges, "And then we can check and see if you guys have been under surveillance" Natalie adds before Maya sighs and silently agrees.

_____

At the house, Maya sits at the dining room table with Garcia sitting next to her, typing on her laptop keyboard. Natalie has made Maya a sandwich and gotten her a glass of water, but Maya continues to stare at it, not having the appetite or courage to eat. "You haven't taken a bite of your food yet. I know it's hard, but you have to eat" Natalie says as she gently rubs Maya's back.

"I'm not hungry" Maya states before she pushes the plate away and looks over at Garcia's laptop, not seeing any progress which makes her let out a disappointed sigh.

Maya sits in silence, hearing her heart pound in her ears as Derek's voice continues to fade in and out of her mind. There was nothing she could do, right? Maybe she could've offered to go with him or... or told him the news sooner and he wouldn't have to go get ice cream. Maybe she shouldn't have sent him out at all.

This was all her fault, Maya thought.

Garcia discovers that yes, the people who took Derek were hacking into his and Maya's home electronics. And they were doing it through CIA computers. Shocked by the information, Natalie calls JJ, who calls one of her contacts, and demands to know what's going on.

"Ugh!" Maya shouts as she throws the glass of water at the nearby wall and watches as the water soaks the floor and wall, while the glass shatters up against the wall and drops down onto the floor, scattering all across the clean wooden floor.

"Maya!" Natalie shrieks as Maya pushes her hair out of her face.

"What?! This is taking too long!" Maya shouts as Garcia stands to her feet, looking down at the scattered glass.

"Maya... we're going to find him. I promise" Garcia says and Maya's eyes fill with tears as she shakes her head. "You can't promise that- You can't" Maya stammers over her words as Natalie and Garcia slowly make their way towards her, "Yes, she can. Because we will. We have to" Natalie says before she pulls Maya into a hug, which Garcia joins in, making it a group hug that Maya accepts, knowing deep down that she needed it.

"I have to tell you guys something, but you can't tell the rest of the team. Not yet" Maya says as she pulls away from the hug, watching Garcia and Natalie furrow their eyebrows with concern.

"What is it?" Garcia asks as Maya tries to find the right words to say because this is the first time she'd be saying it out loud, which only makes it more real.

"I'm pregnant."

_____

"So, who's Maya?" The man asks Derek as they walk through a large field, the same one they've been walking through for a while since Derek seems to be in and out of consciousness. The man is Derek's father, who died when he was young. His father is guiding him through his events and trying to make him understand why this is happening and who did it while also trying to keep him occupied with other conversation topics.

"She's the most beautiful, smart, bad ass women I've ever met. When I met her, nothing else mattered. I would hate to admit back then, but she's the best thing that ever happened to me" Derek informs, looking over to his father who smiles brightly as he listens to his son talk about the love of his life.

"I thought that way about your mom. Love, it's a beautiful thing" His dad says, making Derek nod in agreement. "It is" Derek adds. "Does she know where you are? What happened?" His father wonders and Derek sighs sadly as he nods his head, confirming that Maya does knows what going on, but his whereabouts are unclear to her, just as they are to him.

"We were on the phone at the time" Derek explains, the memory making its way back into his mind. "What we're you two chatting about?" Derek's father asks and Derek shrugs, "She wanted to tell me something when I got him. I wanted a hint, but she only told me that it might be a good thing" Derek recalls, "That's all I got before the call was interrupted."

"Then I guess you better get out of here and find out what she wanted to tell you" His father encourages before bringing him back to reality and that's when Derek realized that his father was right. Derek has to know why Maya wanted to say.

______

The team meets back in the conference room where JJ provides more information. Maya felt sweat beaming off of her forehead as she feels cramping going on in her lower abdomen before JJ explains who took Derek. It's not the CIA, it's ex-CIA and special forces goons who kidnap people for money and they still have access to the CIA's intranet.

"What do we know about them so far?" Reid asks.

"They are a 6-man team. They do dirty work for the highest bidder" JJ explains and Maya feels her chest tighten as she looks over to JJ.

"What k- What kind of dirty work, JJ?" Maya asks while JJ swallows a lump in her throat.

"Things like, disappearances. If you want someone gone, they will make it happen in the most brutal way possible" JJ answers before Maya slightly tilts her head and feels a strong pain in her lower abdomen and begins to let out a painful groan as she grabs onto the chair in front of her.

"Woah, woah. Maya!" JJ calls out as the team becomes more alert and stands to their feet in shock. Natalie instantly rushes over to Maya and grabs ahold of her hand. "Maya, what's wrong?" Natalie asks as Maya looks down at her pants and sees the color red trailing down them.

"Take me to the hospital" Maya says as she looks over to Natalie whose eyes are widen with fear as she looks down at the blood soaking Maya's jeans. "Maya..." Garcia gasps softly before Maya looks to her, tears clouding her eyes.

"What's going on?" Reid asks before Maya tightly grips JJ's hand and breaths in and out to control the sharp pain she's enduring in her lower stomach area.

"I'm- I need to go to the hospital. I'm- I'm losing the- I'm losing the baby" Maya says as JJ looks down at Maya's jeans then brings them back up to look at Maya's tear-filled eyes.

"Just take me to the hospital."

_____

At the hospital, Maya looks up at the bright white ceiling as she is dressed in a hospital gown, the doctors voice fading in and out. "We're sorry about what happened. We'll leave you alone for a moment" The doctor says as he exits the room and that's when a tear slides down the side of Maya's face before she sniffles in the rest of her tears.

The team wants to give Maya a moment to comprehend what has happened, so they stand outside her hospital room, Garcia on her laptop because they still have an open case going on. JJ looks inside the room, seeing Maya lying in her bed, looking numb and in a trance.

That's when JJ thinks back to her miscarriage and when Maya had to be the one to tell her about it. Maya was also there to comfort her, and JJ can't leave her alone. Not when Derek is missing, and she just lost their child.

JJ walks past the team and slowly enters Maya's room before shutting it behind her.

Maya looks towards the door and sees JJ but doesn't say anything because no words will escape her lips. There's nothing she can say to make her forget what has happened. The only words that would escape her mouth are the words that continue to stay in her head.

You lost Derek, and now you've lost his baby.

"I'm not going to say anything like it'll be okay or you're going to be fine because... I don't know," JJ speaks up as she pulls up a chair next to Maya's bed. "I will tell you that I'm going to stay here with you because you don't deserve to be alone. Not right now" JJ says as she places her hand in Maya's and feels Maya tighten her hand around JJ's, not wanting to let go because she doesn't want to be alone. Not right now.

Meanwhile, Garcia gets a ping on her laptop that might lead to Derek. There's a connection coming from a SAT phone that has become active again and Garcia is able to trace it back to Derek's current location. They've found him.

_____

The mercenary, John Bradley, shows up, planning to kill Derek, but he doesn't bother to bring a gun for some reason, which gives Derek a chance to get the knife but before he can get it, John Bradley grabs the knife and stabs it right through Derek's hands, making him weaker than he already was.

"It's time to die" John states and Derek shakes his head, "Not yet" Derek adds before Reid fires off 3 shots and kills John before the rest of the team rushes towards Derek, shocked to him see him in such a vulnerable state. He's wheeled out to the ambulance on a gurney, then his heart goes into fibrillation and stops.

"Dad, I don't know what to do. I'm scared" Derek says as he faces his dad for one more heart to heart moment. "Dying is easy, son. But leaving behind the people you love most isn't. Live for me son. Live for them" His father urges.

When the paramedic charges the paddles to a higher setting and sets it on, boom. Derek's heart restarts and he's alive. He's going to live.

_____

THREE DAYS LATER

Maya rests by Derek's bedside and keeps her hand interlocked with his. As she sleeps, she feels movement and her eyes starts to flutter open and when they open fully, she sees his hands twitching which makes her spin her head in his direction, seeing his eyes start to open.

"Derek?" Maya calls out as she stands to her feet and holds back her tears as a smile form on his lips once he makes eye contact with her, which makes her heart flutter before she can't control the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I missed you..." Derek calls out as he sniffles in his tears while Maya tightens the hold on his good hand. Maya nods her head and watches as Derek slowly raises his hand and wipes the tears escaping her eyes.

"I love you so much" Maya admits as she soothingly rubs her hand up and down his arm, staring into his dark brown eyes.

"What is it you wanted to tell me?" Derek asks, a chuckle escaping his lips before he sees Maya's smile fade away into a depressing on before she explains to him the details of what happened while he was gone. Maya lost the baby and that was the surprise. She was pregnant. Was.

"I'm- I'm sorry" Derek says before Maya shakes her head and leans down towards Derek and kisses the top of his head. "It's not your fault. It was unexpected. It-It happens" Maya chokes up as she locks eyes with Derek as he gently pulls her in for a hug, upset he couldn't be there for her when it happened. But at least he's here now and forever.

"I love you..."

"Between seas, galaxies, and moons, I am lucky I stepped on the same land and dream under the same stars as you"
-Hagar-

AUTHORS NOTE- The miscarriage was not to cause Maya more pain or give her traumatic events to deal with. It was to show that these things do happen to women. Maya was unable to carry a child now but that doesn't mean she won't be in the future. Like I said, I did this to show that this is reality and they happen everyday and it's a sad thing to deal with. I personally have never had a miscarriage but my mother has and so have many other family members. I've seen how hard it is to deal with things like that and I want you to know if you or someone you know has suffered through this I am truly sorry and I hope you realize that this was not to make fun of that AT ALL or "bring my oc's pain". It was to bring awareness and showcase what A LOT of women go through.

Thank you for reading and I hope you understand the meaning behind what I chose to write. ❤️