|IT'S OKAY|

The human mind is the darkest place to reside in. It replays our worst mistakes and darkest memories, pushing us into the void of nothingness; one would feel disconnected from themselves. Your worst fears sometimes turn out to be the harsh reality and all of us have to go through all of them. Alone.

And it was all I needed as the scene which happened around an hour ago repeated itself in the back of my mind.

Walking straight past the deep blue lockers, my eyes were fixated on the pale blue tiled floor as I swarmed past the crowds of talkative fools, who sneered at the mere look of me. Ahead of me stood a swarm of students, laughing and jeering at something in front of them. All of them stood around a locker.

My locker.

My heartbeat immediately shot up with the terror lingering in the back of my mind. Something's wrong but that's not you, I thought as I took careful steps towards the locker.

The crowd dramatically parted as they spotted me and I tried to calm myself but the deed was done. I was the prey and they were the hunters. The scene in front of me was unexplainable. On the door of my locker was graffiti.

"WEIRDO," it said.

Painted in seven colours of the rainbow, the locker was a glittery mess. Streamers fell out of the locker as Charles Smith, the huge soccer goalkeeper, pulled open the locker's door. All the pictures within my locker, of me with my fathers have been torn apart, crossing their faces with a bold permanent marker.

"Know your place, weirdo!" someone shouted from behind me while others shouted back in agreement.

My eyes wandered around the locker, trying to pinpoint someone who isn't as cruel as those who were around me. All my hopes were tied to Claire, desperately waiting for her to appear out of thin air.

Charles sneered at my face, his laughs taunting me.

"A weirdo is a weirdo. And all weirdos stay together."

"Kaia honey, it's okay. You can just tell us, sweetie. I'll-we'll make sure that no one disturbs you ever again," Dad pleaded from outside the door as I sat in front of the door, blocking it so that it wouldn't open. I could feel them trying to push the door open but I didn't move an inch. It was enough to pull me out of my stance but I held my ground, not budging by an inch.

I want to trust you, but I can't; came a timid voice from the back of my mind though I couldn't get words out of my mouth.

"Kaia, you are our brave daughter and we love you so much. Claire told us what happened honey. We know that you must be very angry with us-" Pa started guilt evident in his strong voice but he was cut short by dad.

"Kaia, please. Just talk to us, sweetie."

The desperation was evident in dad's voice and it was heartbreaking. They stopped knocking at the door but they still haven't walked away. They stood right outside the door motionlessly waiting for me to come out. But deep down I knew that I wouldn't be able to look them in their eyes the same ever again.

And I was too ashamed to do so. Too ashamed for I let the harsh words get the best of me. These words made me question my whole sanity.

The scene of my locker danced in front of my eyes, taunting me about everything my life revolves around as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to erase the image which permanently seemed to have been imprinted on my mind. But despite all attempts, it wasn't that easy to do so.

My fathers.

Those who took me in when no one did and help me grow up, teaching me the good in everything, making the lonely Kirlia look at the good in everyone and always be optimistic. But, they never told me how far someone could go just to satisfy their sadist selves. How far a person could go to make someone feel bad about something which they can't control.

Like those homophobes who have been bullying me ever since freshman year just because-just because my parents were gay. At first, I was too naive to understand what rumours were being circulated about me, but then it soon crashed upon me and ate me up from within because my parents had to fight off with almost everyone to stay with each other, but they never thought about the fact that I might get affected too. After all, it's not their fault about whom they choose to fall for, it's mine that I let those words get me.

Because you really can't choose who your heart loves.

I took a deep breath, trying to gulp down the lump in my throat, wiping the remaining tears on my face with the sleeve of my hoodie, as I slowly got up from my armadillo position. I peeped at myself through the mirror on the dressing table, trying to take in how I look.

Heavily curled and tangled black hair covered my brown round face like a pair of dark brown eyes looked back at me, which were red and puffy from crying for hours. My cheeks were pink, with my lips quivering slightly and I bit them with my teeth to stop them from doing so. My hoodie was wet for I was sobbing into it for too long, and my sweats were slightly dirty and crumpled.

The peach walls around me which always seemed so welcoming, made me feel caged within myself. The laughs of the students echoed in my ears and despite how much I struggled to get it off my mind, it was etched on my mind and I was its sole prisoner.

I indeed was a girl messed up in her head but my features were the same as almost any normal human, any normal girl who is moody and can be egoistic. So is it just my parentage that makes me different from others? Just because my parents are gay made me different?

Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm my racing heart as I hugged myself, almost desperate to piece all the shattered pieces into the right pattern. The thoughts in my mind were swirling as I could feel my eyesight go weak. But I knew my pillar was right outside the door. The same door which I was blocking to be opened.

They knocked on the door once again, and I could hear them murmuring something to each other.

"We love you, honey," I heard them mutter as I looked up at the door.

I know.

I slowly walked towards the door, counting my steps on the way to just divert my thoughts to those who genuinely love me.

I held the doorknob tightly and pulled the door open swiftly, not caring about how hard I had pulled it. Both of my fathers stood on either side of the door, looking equally startled.

Both of their faces were red as they were not delayed even by the second in engulfing me into a huge bear hug, almost squeezing the negativity out of me and it felt oddly comforting. Despite how sweaty both of them were, and how they were muttering how sorry they were, that was everything for which I've had endured the three years of Bridgeton high school.

"I c-can't go back to that place. I just can't-" Dad bent down to my height, cupping my tanned cheeks, wiping the stray tears which escaped from my eyes, as Pa squeezed my shoulder carefully, sadly smiling down at me.

"Kaia, we are sorry that this happened to you because of us, because of our choices," Pa sighed, his green eyes lacking the vibrant energy they always carried as dad continued.

"But we are unable to change the past now for we have moved so ahead that we can't just reverse everything and start afresh, scratching away the haunting past," he looked at Pa to continue as he wiped away a lone tear that escaped from his dishevelled green eyes.

"So, we have decided-only if you agree honey-we could switch your school," Pa concluded as he looked unsure of the words he had just uttered. He kneeled too, holding my hand and affectionately squeezing it.

"To Pride High," Dad butted in as he too was completely unsure about the choice which they had provided me with.

Pride High.

Pride High was a pretty notorious school for the fact that it was a school especially manifested for homosexuals around the country who have been mistreated for being gay or a lesbian. It would be better to be around those who are like my fathers rather than those sickened homophobes.

"Anything that works for you guys," I said as a matter of fact, for they are way above the hollow words said about them. It didn't even take me a second to agree to that agreement. I could go anywhere except that hellhole.

Way above.

But I wasn't sure what I was signing myself to.

Hey everyone! Prologue's now up! I'm trying to get this story out of my system. Not because I have grudges against it, but because it's way too dear to my sorry self.

Hope u endure the journey with me. Spread the word around about a new LGBT+ young adult gem with a really interesting title.

Kinda a small prologue, it is. But be prepared as the story progresses. Updates hopefully regular.

Peace,
Shreya