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chapter thirty-three, Change

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"Me like you? Even if I did I can't. I can't get attached to you. I stole your body" Violet rants. "Then give it back!" Nova shouts and Violet chuckles humorlessly at the thought of giving Nova her body back but deep down feels bad she took it in the first place. "Listen, you're not getting it back so you can either run all night or you can tell me how you survived and I'll fix it" Violet says and Nova narrows her eyes at Violet. "Does me telling you get me my body back?" Nova asks and Violet doesn't answer instead she forms a tight lipped smile on her face starting to get annoyed by controls it.

"Then I guess I'm running all night" Nova says as she turns around and runs through the bunker until she finds a door. Once she goes through the door she is met with another bright light and she looks around the room remembering the dark room and cages. "Mount weather" Nova breathes out as she turns around and is met with Anya. "Anya" Nova says looking down at her clothes and notices she's in her old grounder clothes.

"You haven't done very well for yourself have you?" Anya asks and Nova lifts her head looking to Anya who drags her fingers along side the cagess "I need to get out of here" Nova says and Anya scoffs. "You can't but you can create what you want. Nova, your mind space. Your rules" Anya explains and Nova tilts her head. "I think your the first projection to actually help me" Nova points out and Anya shrugs. "You needed it. Now, hide all your memories. Somewhere she can't find them" Anya states and Nova shrugs her shoulders. "I don't get it" Nova states and Anya rolls her eyes.

"Think of a sacred place in the mind space. There's one memory she hasn't seen so hide them all" Anya explains and Nova begins to think about a memory and it's the memory where Raven was EMP because of the whole ALIE situation. Nova thought of her memories and thought of a place to hide them. "RADIATION ALERT!" The alarm blares and the door opens behind Nova and Violet walks through looking to Anya. "She hid her memories in the gorge" Anya says and Nova widens her eyes and looks over to Anya in shock. "I thought you were helping me" Nova says as Anya winks at her and turns around, walking away until she's out of sight.

"Let's see that gorge" Violet says as she closes her eyes and suddenly Nova and Violet are in the middle of the gorge with a small drop-ship in front of them. "Good idea" Violet says as she looks around and walks towards the small drop ship. Violet opens the drop ship and Anya appears and kicks Violet in the chest knocking her away from the ship.

"She helped me. This is my mind space Violet. I create what I want even her" Nova says as she motions behind her and Violet turns to see Anya who stands still looking ahead of her like she's being controlled. "You figured it out... great" Violet sighs as she stands to her feet wiping sand off her clothes. Violet looks down at her wrist and notices a metal bracelet around it. "What is this?" Violet asks lifting her arm.

"A bracelet. Cute right? It's programmed to only this gorge. If you leave who knows what will happen" Nova says as she crosses her arms over her chest. "You think this is fun for me? Chasing after you? I never wanted this!" Violet shouts and Nova narrows her eyes at Violet as she rants. "I didn't think I would ever get another body but now that I have one I don't want it anymore! I don't want any of it!" Violet shouts and Nova drops her arms to her side.

"You keep doing this. I'll have to keep coming back night after night and soon enough it'll kill you! That death isn't fun, trust me. This one time you can't win so just let go. You can't win" Violet rants and Nova walks towards Violet until she backs her up into the ship in the middle of the sandy gorge where she got all her people killed. "I'm not giving up. Not now and not ever. I need to get out of here-" Nova begins until Violet stops her. "What is left for you out there? Clarke's dead. Octavia's gone. Your people only deal with you because of Clarke. Emori hates you. You have no one!" Violet states and Nova looks at Violet aggressively and tightens her fist.

"I'm not there for them. I'm there for Clarke and I don't believe she's dead so- Violet Miller. I will stay here night after night figuring out how to win so you can lose. I'm going to find a way to survive" Nova says and Violets face drops into a respectful one. She sees how much Nova cares for Clarke and no matter who hates her out in the real world she doesn't care because she doesn't live for them. She lives for Clarke. She's live for Clarke so Clarke doesn't lose anyone else she's loves. She's lives for Clarke so Clarke doesn't bare the pain alone like she's had to do many times. "Where- Where did you find the strength?" Violet asks and Nova shrugs her shoulders. "I don't think I ever found it. It found me" Nova answers honestly.

"I'm sorry but I have to get you out of here" Violet says and Nova shrugs. "Good luck with that" Nova says and as she says that Violet turns to look at Anya and Anya drives her sword through Violet's heart and Violet dies on the ground of the sandy gorge. "I definitely shouldn't have thought about you killing her, huh" Nova says as she looks down at Violet's dead body then back at Anya. "Definitely not" Anya mumbles before Nova sees a bright light surround her and she's returned back into the hallways.

Nova sees Violet walk through the door at the end of the hallways and she takes her chances and begins running again. When she's running she comes across something she's on the ark and stops in her tracks when she sees her father locked inside the airlock. "Dad" Nova breathes out and steps towards the airlock. Violet appears behind Nova but Nova doesn't look back instead she puts her hand on the glass looking at her father. A tear slides down her cheek and she looks down then looks back up just to see her dad disappears into thin air. "I never got to say goodbye" Nova says as she sobs quietly and looks through the airlock.

"Here" Violet says as she drops music records next to Nova. Nova bends down and looks at them, "What is this?" Nova asks and Violet bends down across from her. "There my memories. You have drawings and I have records. I really loved music" Violet points out and Nova places her hand on one of the records and sees memory. It's Clarke but it's not Clarke its someone pretending to be Clarke. The girl is twirling her hair in her hands which is something Clarke would never do and she's standing in front of a mirror in the same blue dress she was wearing the night of the party. Nova let go of the record and left the flashback and covered her mouth.

"Clarke..." Nova breathes out as she wastes no time to touch the other record and see a flashback of Bellamy making a deal with Russel for their people to be able to stay on the moon and survive like them and Bellamy took it. Nova let go of the record and looks to Violet in shock. "He- He took a deal after thinking Clarke and I were dead?" Nova asks and Violet nods her head. "Why'd you show me this?" Nova asks as she stands to her feet as does Violet. Nova looks to Violet and she continues to not answer instead she has a face of guilt.

"You want me to sacrifice myself. You just wanted to show me Clarke was gone so I'd have a reason to go too!" Nova shouts as she pushes Violet away from her. "Just do it! Don't start another war that'll kill your people... again" Violet says and Nova's breathing picks up as she hears those words leave Violet's mouth. "I want them to be okay. I don't want anyone to die" Nova says and Violet grabs ahold of Nova's arm and looks into her eyes. "I understand and trust me. I'll make sure they're safe and everyone can stop fighting, including you" Violet says and Nova looks over at the airlock and it opens up as she thinks of where she hid the memory.

Violet walks through the airlock and into a home. Nova's home to be exact. It was Nova's home on the ark. It's where she spent the most time reading, watching movies with her dad, and cooking with her mom. Soft music plays throughout the home and Nova follows behind Violet and looks around the home in awe. Violet looks around and sees a bunch of things laid out on a desk. "Why'd you choose this place?" Violet asks as she looks at the desk where Nova's father used to do his work before he got sick and Nova had to steal medicine for him. "It's the place where I shed the less blood" Nova says as she lets the soft music ring in her ears gracefully.

Violet looks through the extra things and sees a cross bow on the table which was Iris's, she sees books Nova's has read before going to the ground, a picture of Clarke when they were looking for Wanheda years ago, and a chip. Violet picked it up immediately and saw the memory. The memory of Raven getting EMP'd and the chip taken out of her.

"An EMP" Violet whispers as she turns and looks at Nova who looks back at her. "I don't know how long it'll take but it'll be over soon. I swear" Violet promises as she places the chip memory in her pocket and walks over to Nova and places a hand on her shoulder. "Tell Raven I'm sorry for everything and- and tell Octavia that she'll always be my best-friend.. if you see her and tell Bellamy that I- I don't forgive him but I understand" Nova says and Violet looks at Nova and nods her head as guilt washes over her but she can't get attached not when it's her first time in a body so she walks off and leaves Nova to grieve for herself.

Nova was now back in Fio's cabin but Fio wasn't in it. Nova laid down on the bed looking at the ceiling waiting for her time to run out until she heard the cabin door open and she automatically thought it was Fio but when she sat up from the bed she noticed it was Harper. "Harper?" Nova questions as she stands to her feet and walks over to
Harper who has that same sweet smile plastered on her face.

"You gave up" Harper points out and Nova shrugs. "Violet was right anyway. There's nothing for me out there" Nova says and Harper shakes her head in disagreement. "Life is out there for you. A chance to be better. Didn't you watch Monty's video? Be the good guys" Harper says restating the video making Nova roll her eyes. "I'm doing this for them. Is that not good guy enough?" Nova asks and Harper scoffs. "No. Your not god Nova but your someone. You matter to people even if they can't admit it" Harper says. "Are you gonna leave Madi without a mother? Bellamy without a friend? Octavia alone? We both know Octavia needs you the most" Harper says as she takes a seat and Nova takes a seat across from her. "They'll be better off without me. I'm Thanatos. Keket. I don't deserve them" Nova argues.

"So change, change for them! show them who you really are. Show them your not thanatos, not keket, show them Nova" Harper advises. "I don't know if I know her anymore" Nova admits as a tear slides down her cheek trying to remember her past self and she simply can't. She's become this cold blooded killer and that's all she thinks of herself. A killer. A bringer of death. Goddess of darkness. A grim reaper...