pairing: alexia putellas x reader

summary: you knew alexia still loved you but you were naive enough to think that she loved you the most

warnings: swearing & angst

words: 1242

a/n: i'm not the most proud of this but it is what it is

You should've known that she had fallen out of love with you. But you were stupid. Naive. Holding on to some hope. Praying that she was still yours.

You didn't want to believe that your relationship was falling past your fingertips. You desperately tried to cling on but there was no hope. She was already gone.

The change happened in a split second, one major tournament solidifying your fate. The world cup is supposed to bring you happiness and joy where it only brought you heartbreak and despair.

Noticing the first little signs felt like a stab to your heart. You desperately tried to ignore them but it was no use, the one you used to call yours was somebody else's.

It started when she would ignore the small intimate moments with you, seemingly forgetting to give you a goodbye kiss or even ask you a 'how was your day?'

A password on her phone came next, hiding certain things from you followed soon after. It was silly, you felt like a stranger in your own relationship and what made matters worse, you didn't even know if you could save it.

Whenever you tried to bring something up, she would always dismiss you. Blaming it on how you'd overthink the littlest of things.

You should've listened to that gut feeling that something was up. You should've listened to that nagging in the back of your mind that something was wrong. You should've listened to your teammates. You should've listened to the warning signs. You should've listened.

But why would you? You were in love. Nothing else mattered.

You certainly didn't. Especially to Alexia.

Coming home late after training one day, you placed everything by the front door, sighing as it closed.

Finally allowed to let yourself breathe, you leaned back against the door, shutting your eyes for a brief second until you felt a pair of lips against your neck.

"Hey, baby." Alexia husked, dragging her teeth along the base of your neck, nipping ever so slightly.

"Ale- what-" You mumbled, trying to push her off.

"Shh, just enjoy this." She replied, slowly trailing her kisses down until she was on her knees.

"No, Ale. Stop." You said sternly, moving away from the door and into the living room.

The Catalonian chased after you, a fury set deep in her eyes. Sitting on the sofa, you placed your head in your hands.

"What's going on? You don't want to have sex with me anymore?" Alexia questioned, raising her arms up as she looked around the room in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, are you seriously asking me that?" You replied, a sarcastic undertone making its way through your voice.

You stood up, looking at the midfielder dead in the eyes before you scoffed, making your way into the kitchen.

"No, no, no. You don't get to walk away from me." Alexia said, hot on your heels.

"Oh really? Why's that?" You snapped, turning to face her once again. "Because all I've been doing these past months is chase after you."

"I didn't ask you to do that." Alexia shrugged.

"I'm done with this conversation." You muttered, shaking your head.

"No, we're talking this out."

"Oh, you want to talk it out?" You responded, raising your eyebrows. "Really? Okay, talk to me about this. In what world did you think I wasn't going to find out you cheated on me?"

"What?" Alexia said, taken back as she stared at you in shock.

"I know, of course I know. You didn't make it very hard for me not to figure it out. Coming back home late at night, stumbling through the door. Passwords on everything, secrets, no communication. Oh and you mustn't forget about the hickies that I didn't even give you since you won't be intimate with me!"

You stared at Alexia, chest heaving up and down but you still weren't done.

"You won't even look at me anymore, and if you do there isn't even any guilt. You won't kiss me-"

"I kissed you literally a second ago-" Alexia cut in.

"On the lips, Alexia. Let me finish. You don't ask me how my day has been, you don't even hold my hand for god sake!"

"Are you seriously getting worked up about this?" Alexia asked, running a hand through her hair.

"We used to do everything together, watch movies, cuddle, go on dates, where did it all go wrong? Was it something I did? Did I say something? Not do anything?"

"We're out of the honeymoon phase."

"We sure as shit are not in that phase anymore." You said, shaking your head at her.

"I don't know what your point is." Alexia huffed, clearly getting bored of the conversation.

"I want you to start being honest with me." You said, releasing a shaky breath as you tried not to let the tears fall.

"Sure, ask me anything." Alexia replied, unbothered as she shrugged her shoulders.

"How long?"

"Que?"

"How long have you been cheating on me?" You asked, a long silence hanging in the air.

"I'm not doing this." Alexia scoffed, walking away.

Following behind her, you stop in the hallway as she reaches for the front door.

"You walk out that door and we are done." You said, heart practically beating out of your chest.

"That doesn't matter, does it?" Alexia questioned sarcastically. "I mean, look, I walk out this door and we're done. I answer your question and we're done. What's the point?"

"You're not my Alexia." You whispered, voice cracking as you finally felt the tears roll down your cheeks.

"Oh get over yourself."

"I'm going to ask you one last time. How long?"

"Three months." Alexia said, looking down at the floor.

A small gasp left your lips, you didn't know what to do or even how to feel. Everything was just numb. How could she do that to you? Three months? How could you not have known sooner.

"Was it me?" You questioned, wrapping your arms around your waist.

"No." Alexia sighed, finally meeting your eyes.

"Then what was it?"

"Me, I got scared because for the first time in a relationship I had actually felt something."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" You asked, voice breaking as tears welled up in your throat.

"Didn't think you'd understand." Alexia said, furiously wiping her eyes. "It doesn't matter now anyway, I messed it up. I messed us up."

"I fucking hate you Alexia." You sniffled, slowly walking over to her. "And I fucking hate that I don't actually hate you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. I always will."

"You're still breaking up with me though, aren't you?" Alexia wondered, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Yes because you were an asshole but maybe consider it as a break." You said, taking her hands in yours. "Work on yourself and maybe sometime in the future our paths will cross again."

"I'm sorry." Alexia mumbled, tears finally escaping her eyes as her head found its way into the crook of your neck.

"I know." You smiled sadly, feeling her arms snake around your waist.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, basking in each other's comfort. Something you haven't done in a while and although it felt foreign at first, you both soon melted into one another's embrace.

You knew Alexia still loved you but you were naive enough to think that she loved you the most.