pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: the world seemed to be falling apart at your fingertips. (bit dramatic)

warnings: hurt / comfort (i think?)

words: 2312

a/n: listened to some sad songs (specifically sign of the times) and this was the outcome. it's a bit of a shambles but oh well.

The final whistle blew and you felt yourself crumble to the ground. Laying on your back, you hid your face in your hands as the Spanish players celebrated around you.

It all came crashing down at once. You no longer held the high of being in a world cup final, only feeling sadness and remorse.

You soon felt a pat on your stomach causing you to remove your hands from your face. Your eyes met Mary's, the goalkeeper looking down at you with dejection.

She managed to pull you to your feet and without any words uttered between each other, you knew how badly this loss hurt.

Scanning the pitch, your eyes struggled to find one particular person. But once your eyes locked with hers, you saw the tears streaming down her cheeks as she desperately tried to stop them falling.

As if your mind was in a world of its own, your legs carried you towards her. Your arms wrapped around her waist as she hid her face in your neck.

You held onto the striker with all your might, whispering comforting words in her ear as she sobbed uncontrollably into your shoulder.

Resting your chin on the top of her head, you looked at your teammates, each of them coping with the loss in different ways but you don't think they could be feeling as bad as you did.

Your body went numb from the pain, you felt like you didn't have any more tears to cry. You didn't have the energy to do so anyway.

If you didn't let yourself get distracted for one second, then you wouldn't have lost the ball in your own half leading to Spain's goal.

All you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear. Even the sympathetic gazes felt judgmental. You could practically hear the news screaming at you for being the reason why England lost the world cup.

But despite how you were feeling, you made sure that Alessia was alright, all the way up until you were back in your hotel room.

Swiping the key card on the door, your heart started to feel just that bit more heavier. Walking into your shared room with Alessia you sat on the edge of your bed, your head finding its place back in your hands.

You hadn't spoken a word to your girlfriend since the two of you were on the pitch and you could feel the tension. You hated it.

Before you could realise what you were doing, it was like the both of you were on autopilot. The two of you getting ready for bed but not daring to look each other in the eyes.

It pained you that Alessia felt as if she couldn't confide in you anymore. You could hear her silent sniffles as the blonde tried her hardest to keep herself together.

"Less?" You tried, looking up from your bag.

"Yeah?" Alessia said hoarsely, her voice betraying her leading her to clear her throat.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" You said softly, nervously waiting for her response.

"Of course." She replied but still not daring to look at you.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" You asked, walking over to her.

Placing your hands on her waist, you turned her around so she was facing you. Although, she kept her gaze on the floor.

"It's all my fault." Alessia said, the back of her throat burning from the unshed tears.

"Less, it's not your fault." You said, reaching for her hands but she moved them away.

"It is, if I played better then I wouldn't have been taken off and if-"

"Baby, its not-"

"What, 'it's not my fault'? Just stop! What else do you want me to say? Huh? That it's your fault instead?" Alessia snapped, throwing her hands up in the air and stepping out of your hold, finally looking at you in the eyes.

"If it makes you feel better, yes!" You said, taking a step forward only for Alessia to move two paces back.

"Fine! It's all your fault! You were the defender, you made the mistake. It's. All. Your. Fault."

"I know and I'm sorry." You replied, eyes brimming with tears.

"Sorry isn't going to change anything!"

"I know, I just-"

"You just what, huh?" Alessia questioned rhetorically.

"I should've tried harder."

"You should try harder in a lot of things." Alessia said dryly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You stopped, taken back by her comment.

"Don't act like we aren't falling apart." Alessia stressed, her hands coming up to wipe away her tears.

"Couples fight, Less."

"But that's all we've been doing. We don't spend any time together. It's like we're not even a couple anymore."

"Is that really what you think?"

"I don't know what to think anymore. You're barely home, always out doing god knows what."

"I'm out training."

"All the time? Seriously?"

"Well, not all the time but-"

"I can't do this anymore, y/n."

"What do you mean, you can't do this?" You questioned, your heart jumping to your throat.

"This, whatever this is." Alessia said, pointing between the two of you. "Us."

"Are you breaking up with me?" You wondered, your voice a lot quieter than it was.

"I dont know." Alessia huffed, the palms of her hands digging into her eyes. "Maybe a break would be best for us."

"If that's what you really want?"

"You're not going to fight for us or anything?"

"Jesus Less, what do you want me to say?"

"Anything! Something to show me that you still love me!"

"Fuck! Of course I love you! There isn't anyone else in the world who I love more than you!"

You don't know where it all went wrong. One moment it was about the world cup and the next it was about your relationship. Or rather what was your relationship.

The two of you looked at each other, chests rising up and down rapidly as you tried to calm down.

"Where's this all coming from Less?" You questioned softly.

"I don't- I uh, I'm just going to go to bed." Alessia said, dismissing you as she climbed under her covers.

"Oh, well, good night then." You said, smiling sadly to yourself.

Making your way to the other bed in the hotel room, you got under the covers yourself and pulled the duvet up to your chin. You could feel the tears falling down your face but you paid them no mind as you stared up at the ceiling, your mind slowly drifting off to sleep.

You don't know how long you were asleep for but you were woken up by the sound of shuffling and sniffles. From the corner of your eye, you could see the silhouette of Alessia moving around in her bed.

A loud huff filled the silence of the room and just when you were about to go back to sleep, Alessia spoke up.

"Y/n?" She questioned quietly, voice breaking as she tried not to cry again.

"Yeah?" You replied, resting an arm behind your head as the other laid on your waist.

"Can I- never mind." Alessia said, rolling over onto her side.

"What's up?" You asked, tilting your head to look at her, only to be met with her back.

"Nothing, just go back to sleep."

You huffed to yourself, contemplating what you were going to do for a while before you pushed back the covers and made your way over to Alessia's bed.

"Budge up." You said, tapping Alessia's back gently.

"What?" Alessia questioned, tilting her head to look up at you.

"C'mon, scooch."

Alessia did as she was told and moved so you could slip into bed behind her. You wrapped an arm around her waist, placing your head on the pillow.

The striker immediately melted at your touch and for the first time that night, carried a small smile on her face.

"Get some sleep, my love." You whispered, placing a kiss behind her ear.

"But-"

"Nope, we can talk in the morning." You cut her off, pulling the duvet up for the both of you.

It didn't take you long before you were asleep and many hours passed before you were woken up again. This time you were awoken by the sun peaking through the blinds and beaming down on you.

It was still the early hours of the morning, but you decided to get up. Just as you were about to, you felt a body start to shake beside you. Your arm, caught under the pillow, being held down by Alessia's head.

You could see how, with every sob, Alessia's body would shake. A hand covered her mouth, desperate for you not to hear her but it was no use.

"Less?" You questioned tiredly.

Not getting a response, you used your free hand to pull on Alessia's shoulder, forcing her to turn towards you. She looked at you, her bright blue eyes showing her pain as she tried not to crumble at your touch.

She fully turned into you, her hands gripping onto your t-shirt, afraid that you'd go somewhere. burying her head in your chest, you wrapped your arms around her, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back whilst the other ran its fingers through her hair.

With each movement you made, Alessia clutched onto you harder. She was getting more and more worked up, your top now completely soaked with her tears. Seeing her like this made your heart twist painfully.

"I- I-" Alessia said, trying to get a word out, her voice breaking as she spoke.

"Hey, you're okay." You said, pulling her head to rest just above your heart. "Focus on my heartbeat."

After a little while Alessia's sobs ceased and her grip on your shirt lessened. You kept her close to your chest as she calmed down. Once she pulled away you finally got a look at her face.

Her eyes were bloodshot and red, her cheeks were all blotchy and her eyes no longer seemed to hold the illuminous blue that they always do. Her throat kept bobbing up and down as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

You reached a hand to cup her cheek, brushing away the stray tears. She leaned into your palm, giving it a kiss.

"You okay?" You asked, voice cracking as you were so quiet.

Alessia went to speak but opted for a small nod instead. You let out a small chuckle and pulled her back into your embrace.

You rested your cheek on the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

"Want to tell me what's got you so worked up?" You tried again.

"You." Alessia sniffled, her response coming out muffled as she nestled in your neck.

"Me?" You parroted.

"About last night."

"Oh."

"I took the loss out on you and I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, promise." You assured her, "and I know I've not been the best partner recently."

"Why is that?"

"I wanted to surprise you with something but it fell through and I didn't want to take my stress out on you."

"Oh." Alessia mumbled.

"What?"

"I uh I just thought you didn't love me anymore."

A lump forms in your throat and you feel tears prickling the back of your eyes. You swallow the emotion and try again but it doesn't work.

"God, Less I'm so sorry." You said, feeling the back of your throat burn. "For everything."

"Maybe we need to work on some things." Alessia said with a small shrug..

"Definitely, maybe my defending a bit more." You said jokingly.

"Oh one-hundred percent." Alessia laughed.

"Hey!"

"But seriously," Alessia said, sitting up so she was facing you, "if you want us to work, you need to talk to me and not shut me out."

"I'll work on that, I promise. I never want to make you feel like that again."

"I know." Alessia smiled but it soon turned into a frown. "I kind of don't want to go home."

"Why not?" You wonder, sitting up too.

"I know we made history by getting into the final it's just-"

"-Not the same."

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure i can say the same."

"Really?"

"Yeah, as much as I am heartbroken over the loss and I'll be beating myself up about it for the rest of my life, I can't wait to get back home and finally just have some me and you time."

"That does sound nice."

"I won't miss the spiders, that's for sure."

"I'll bring one back just for you." Alessia teased.

"Oh really?" You questioned, raising an eyebrow to test her.

"Yup."

"God, I love you." You said, flopping back onto the bed and looking at the ceiling.

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too." Alessia smiled, leaning over and pressing a hand to your chest so she could place a kiss on your lips.

When she pulled away you chased after her but she pushed you back onto the mattress.

"That's all you're getting for now."

"For now, hmm?" You said, wiggling your eyebrows.

Alessia rolled her eyes but leaned in for another kiss. You gently cupped her cheek, pulling away from the kiss to look in her eyes. You leaned forward once more peppering kisses to her forehead, then to her nose, to her cheek, jaw, all over her face.

You felt Alessia's cheeks pull up into a smile causing you to stop and look at her once again. Not saying anything you fell back on the bed, bringing Alessia with you.

She rested her head on your chest, intertwining your fingers and resting them on your stomach before you both drifted back off to sleep. The two of you smiling despite the outcome of yesterday's match and argument.

There wasn't anything that could pull you apart.