after the debacle of last night, i tried to get the most rest i could. ricky had told me and  e.j that lily had stolen the harness and that was the last straw  e.j told him that he had an extra bed in his cabin so he could stay there until he figured out the paperwork 

i woke up to the sounds of birds chirping ,the sun in the window, hitting my head on the top bunk 

"what was that ?!" kourtney jolted awake her eye mask still on her face

"my bad" i apologize before trying to grab my phone .... that is not there 

i roll out of bed and onto the floor

"well good morning to you too" gadget says with a perky sunshine attitude

"how are you this awake at ... i don' t even know what time because i do not have my phone " i say while heaving myself up off of the floor

"how can you not be ? its summer its warm  and sunny and in the mornings like this it's quiet so you can just sit outside without anyone disrupting you" she replies 

"that sounds amazing "

"ya know what sounds amazing ? letting me sleep until school would normally start!"kourtney whisper yells 

"sorry" me and the multicolored hair girl reply at the same time causing us to laugh afterwards

i put on my slippers and grab my sweatshirt before leaving the cabin 

 i see e.j looking fondly  on the camp  sipping out of his east high morning news mug 

"good morning love" i walk up the steps 

"morning " he says reaching for a hug 

he holds me for a minute  before letting go 

we sit down on the benches on the barn deck

"couldn't sleep ?"i ask 

"i'd figure i'd get a head start on panicking early, you know,seeing as i'm now the one who has to direct the first everstudent production of frozen that will air in, i don't know ... 63 countries?" eej rambles 

" well i guarantee you  will be the best director this camp and those 63 countries have seen " i attempt to make the boy smile 

"you quite literally have no real proof to back that theory up "he argues back

"its not a theory , cause its a fact . you are amazing at everything you do, and you are so smart and strong and kind  " i kiss him 

"thank you"he smiles "you forgot handsome"

"wow you really did manage to be humble for about a minute there , new record" we laugh

"so when are you gonna tell everyone?" i ask leaning my head on his shoulder

"soon, at auditions,but will you like not say anything until then ?" he asks of me

i look up at him from his shoulder 

"thanks"

he knows i mean yes, i don't know how but i know he knows

in the middle of the yard maddox begins to play a.... i'm gonna say trumpet

"i'm so glad you get to hear the bugle "e.j says 

 damn it 

i roll my eyes " it's like the perfect start to the day "he smiles

"rise and shine newbies ! you're on shallow lake time now ! wooooo!" maddox screams 

"oh hey guys!" she waves

"wooooo!" e.j yells back 

"you two are just... i cannot " i laugh

i spend a few more minutes with e.j before heading back to the cabin to get ready

" i can't believe we're actually gonna be in this documentary . and to be directed by mr. chad danforth himself.okay , one could say the stakes for auditions have never been higher .and one will . i will. the stakes have never been higher." ashlynn swings her feet on the top bunk 

my stomach sinks as i finish up my makeup

the stakes have never been higher, i was thinking of going for the lead like for real this time ,  should i keep it low key ? i don't want to get my hopes up and then fail ...

maybe i should just give up 

no no no i cant remember my new years resolution

'don't be scared to try new things even if they're scary'

"i think i'm having withdrawals  i mean , this is the first day i haven't had a headache in my entire life." kourtney  says in her regular panicky tone 

"isn't that a good thing ?" i question

"no! i don't know who i am without screens" she groans

"i just wanna let you all know that i am going for gold today at auditions. i'm finally ready to play the lead. no apologies, no prisoners'." gina says with dueness

"sounds like you brought gina 1.0 to camp." ashlynn calls out 

was i a bit intimidated by gina now that i knew that she was going for the lead too? yeah ... does it mean that'll stop me from doing what i want? not at all

"no.look, okay, i loved auditioning with you guys last year, and us three we are still a tercet," gina says 

i kinda felt left out from their group , the fact that they auditioned together last year ' bother me its that she didn't ask ,  and that they were  and are still a' tercet'

"but i just feel like i need to stand on my own this summer , ya know? especially with the whole documentary thing , like, that could literally be our future."  g continues

"okay, 1.0 " ashlynn says throwing her pillow at gina 

"i just feel like i'm ready to shine, and be the center of the stage  while also not being the mean 1.0 i was " gina explains 

" good morning campers! the mess hall is now open , and just a little reminder that the auditions for  frozen the musical  are being held at the barn at 10:30am" deweys voice echoed through the cabin 

 i throw on my outfit and  walk to the mess hall   

i grab a plate of ...food or food looking substance atleast and sit with ricky ,gina, ash,carlos, and kourtney

"yeah and i went to go grab it and what fell? the harness " ricky disclosed

"wait are we talking about l-... the unnamed one? ya know i always knew she was a bi-" i look over at a table of kids who are obviously eavesdropping "she was mean that is what i was gonna say ..." i try to cover up the comment 

"right... anyways i just thought i would come here  and join you guys for the summer" ricky explains

"well not to be cheesy but i'm glad you're here. now we can do our bucket list togather"i say pulling the list out of my back pocket

"you remembered?" he says surprised 

"of course i did" 

"am i the only one who's very confused on this bucket list thing?"carlos asks

"when ricky and i were kids  we made  bucket list that we had to finish by our 18th birthday. tho some of mine were a bit ...odd" i explain

   "odd ... like how?" gina asks

"doesn't matter" i shrug off then taking a bite of my "oatmeal"

"so, what songs are we thinking   for the auditions ?" kourtney asks

"i was thinking  something from six, really show off my vocals and my character work" i answer proudly

  "all you wanna do  would show off your vocals perfectly" gina adds

"that's what i was thinking! "

after a few minutes of talking with my friends it was time to head over to the barn for our auditions 

"okay, i will say for a barn this looks good" kourtney admires

"everyone should start warming up" gadget instructs

  i see her and e.j moving a table and rush over  

" hey,guys. anything i can do? help with ?move?"i ask eagerly

"i think we're good, don't want to put a camper through anything that might get us a law suit"maddox says moving over more stuff

"man am i  excited for auditions !"ricky slides over to me and e.j shoving his body between mine and eej's

" maybe we'll get to play the male leads together again, huh?those guys there's two of them.  they're friends ? Enemies?  Lovers?"

i scoff and roll my eyes  at my brother ,though i've always been a huge fan of disney he not so much i watched frozen WAYYYY more times than he has.

"hey , there she is " e.j darts over to a blonde girl . she was wearing a denim skirt and a  floral crop top with puffy sleeves 

 he hugs her ...

i'm not jealous once again i trust my boyfriend ...  completely trust him ...

i walk away , to a   seat so i can put my stuff down hoping i could work on finding the track to my audition song

"thats val. eight -time shallow lake camper and current shallow lake CIT. yeah ,she and E.J go way back." maddox gives me the run down

"yeah, they seem close. i don't know why E.J never mentioned her "i laughed , but on the inside i felt my heart burning 

"yeah. they were gretel and kurt together in the sound of music  way back in the day.that kind of bond is forever" she explains 

i smile and nod  but still i feel hurt for some reason

like ik that eej is loyal to me but it feels like some sort of betrayal i guess

"hey, everyone. i'm val, and not too long ago, i was just like you,waiting in the wings for my chance at stardom." val gets on stage"then i went to college and my dreams of broadway were instantly dashed by my intro to movement professor,who said i wasn't convincing as a human being." she paused for a second

a single laugh came from the middle of the  room  it belonging to ashlynn

"but now, i'm a psych major. and i'm also your choreographer . the director will kick off the auditions in just a moment ." val continues 

just then i remembered that e.j hasn't told anyone besides me yet. i was nervous for him . i knew that he didn't believe in himself like i did 

"corbin bleu! woo-who" ashlynn cheers

e.js pov

 i turn from the stage to see  jules leaving the barn

"hey, jules!"i call . she stops in her tracks 

 "where you goin'?" i reach for her hand 

"i was just gonna look for a quiet place to go over lyrics and stuff why? what's up?" she asks grasping my hand and  rubbing her thumb over my cold skin 

"nothing , i'm gonna start in a few  so be back alright?" i say in a slight whisper 

she nods letting go of my hand slowly and walking out the door 

"who was that ?" val sneaks up behind my causing me to jump a little 

"jeez!... that's jules uh she's my girlfriend" i explain realising she's never met her before

"girlfriend!? what happened to nini? the shy girl from last summer ?" val asks

"it has been a long year , trust me . actually  uhum can we talk for second ? in private ." I ask before  leading into a separate room

I told her  everything that happened yesterday 

how corbin bleu ditched us for director how dewy wood made me the fill in and how im not fit for the job.

 val clarifies 

"i think  i got it. so, corbin bleu is only directing the TV show about the show. " val redefines

"correct" i confirm 

"now you have to direct the actual show?" she questions 

" the only ones that know are you and julianna"i admit 

"look ill help you . for instance maybe i should cast the show ... alone"she suggest

"what? no! that was the one thing i was excited about " i groan

"bias is a thing . your subjectivity could affect the results."val clarifies

"well, if your such a pro maybe you wanna direct the show too?!" i say suggestively

"nice try , act like you know what you're doing " she walks to the door patting me on the shoulder

i roll my eyes and begin to prepare my self mentally for what could happen 

"yo! we are ready" val says in a 'pumped up ' attitude as i follow her out

"it is time to introduce you to your director, ... rocket man himself e.j caswell" i walked onto the stage as val introduced me . i look through the small crowd of people for jules

everyone clapped hesitantly  my eyes still scanning the crowd as my fears came true 

my heart was pounding in fear , it was a very unfamiliar feeling . i was e.j caswell . confident cool e.j caswell , and now i was standing in front of the people i had known for years  nervous as ever 

i caught her face peeking through the door. my heart began to slow, knowing that she was gonna be there for me, i felt okay.

 the curtains opened behind me 

i whisper to myself while walking up the small steps "act like you know what you're doing"

julie walks inside trying not to disrupt

i see her talking to my cousin who has a confused and disappointed look on her face

think of something caswell.... what would miss jen do?

"circle up " i say my voice getting high

everyone rushes over to get into a circle 

we all join hands and close our eyes

' do you wanna build a snowman? it doesn't have to be a snowman we used to be best buddies' i attempt to sing  before( perusal) ricky burst through the door

"frozen time lets go !" ricky cheers wearing a... whatever he's wearing 

"now that's tradition" carlos points

"where's mr. bleu?" ricky asks slowly putting his hands down

jules pov

"okay everyone . lets take some grounding breaths .... and we're off"val launches

"for those of you who i technically know, today, you're not wildcats. today you are a bunk of blank canvases , strangers to me "e.j explains

ouch dude

"okay we are starting group auditions , ash you're up"e.j instructs 

after ashlynn a few more people go

i got my picture taken by maddox 

"okay julianna you are next"eej says 

full first name? ouch again...

i walk onto the stage nervously but try and shake it off 

"The window is open, so's that door I didn't know they did that anymore And there's two nice ladies helping me get dressed Thank you Thanks!" i sing as val circles me judgingly
"For years I've roamed these empty halls Why have a ballroom with no balls?Coronation day is just the best!There'll be actual, real-life people It'll be totally strange Wow, am I so ready for this change" i make my voice louder
"For the first time in forever There'll be music, there'll be light For the first time in forever I'll be dancing through the night Don't know if I'm elated or gassy But I'm somewhere in that zone" i sing making e.j laugh

"'Cause for the first time in forever I won't be alone 

Oh, I can't wait to meet everyone! Oh, what if I meet the one?

Tonight, imagine me, gown and all Fetchingly draped against the wall

The picture of sophisticated grace I suddenly see him standing there A beautiful stranger, tall and fair" i continue to try my best while everyone is staring at me 

"I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face
But then we'll laugh and talk all evening Which is totally bizarre Nothing like the life I've led so far For the first time in forever There'll be magic, there'll be fun For the first time in forever I could be noticed by someone" i make eye contact with e.j making me feel alot better

"And I know it is totally crazy To dream I'd find romance But for the first time in forever At least I've got a chance" i take a breath before the music continues in a slower tone

"Don't let them in Don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel Put on a show ,Make one wrong move and everyone will know" i close my eyes and sing deeper , relating to the lyrics more
"But it's only for today It's only for today It's agony to wait It's agony to wait Tell the guards to open up the gates
For the first time in forever I'm getting what I'm dreaming of A chance to leave my lonely world A chance to find true love. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
For the first time in forever We're no longer shut outside For the first time in forever The gates are open wide
I know it all ends tomorrow So it has to be today 'Cause for the first time in forever For the first time in forever Nothing's in my way!" i finish off big belting out the last lyric it chilling my body 

i curtsey with my imaginary skirt  as everyone claps for me 

a warm feeling fills my heart as i get off stage 

 as everyone else finishes auditioning i feel my nerves go down more and more

"hey, e.j? where are the scripts?" i ask

"scripts?" he replies his voice at a higher octave than normally

"for the scene work auditions?" gina questions

"we're doing a show with no script?what is this? curb your enthusiasm?" carlos has a mini freakout 

"yo , mr. director man ! where do you want us all to stand?" ricky asks raising his hand

"can everyone just give me a second ? please?" e.j grabs my hand tightly

i know that when im upset or anxious i grab his hand like this... 

i rub my thumb against his hand 

"what if they all just acted out the lyrics from the songs?" gadget suggest"y'know like a dramatic reading."

everyone looks around waiting for a response from someone incharge

i feel his grip get tighter on my hand 

"i dont know im just a stage manager"she doubts herself, taking a step back

"- no, that's a great idea." i speak out 

"thank you " he whispers over to gadget, releasing my hand

after a few moments of getting everything in place  e.j and val handed out "scripts"

i took elsa's part  cause after singing  ... i don't know something felt relatable about it 

" conceal... don't feel... put on a show , make one wrong move and-" i get interrupted by  the barn doors swinging open 

a kid walks in he looks like he's miserable

"sorry, auditions started over an hour ago"maddox says aggravatedly

"everyones welcome to audition"e.j says brightly

"i dont know about this" the boy hesitates

"no ones judjing you " e.j contiues as ricky hands the kid the script

"cause for the first time in forever , im getting what im dreaming of " he begins to sing his voice filling the room 

ashlynn walks down the steps and over to the piano 

"a chance to  leave my lonely world , a chance to find true love .for the first time in forever we're no longer shut outside" ashlynn begins to play the piano as he contiues to wow evryone with his vocals

"for the first time in forever  the gates are open wide , oh, i know it all ends tomarrow . so it has to be today" he belts leaving goosebumps on my skin"cause for the first time in forever , for the first time in forever, nothings in my way" he extends the note  leaving evryone speechless

claps surround the room for him as he shakes his head  and looks at the floor 

me and ricky walk over to him

"dude, are you kidding me ?" ricky says in a enthusiastic tone 

"you were really good " i congradulate

he throws the script on the ground and runs out of the room

i look at ricky as the say 'what was that about?'

he shakes his head 

we all finish auditions , it was rough but we did it .... and now we wait 

i walk out of the barn ricky  walking beside me 

"i still have chills from that kid, whats his name by the way?" i ask 

"jet, hes in my cabin. he pretends to not be a thetere kid , acts misrebale , walking in late to auditions ...." ricky list 

"so basiclly a little ricky ?" i respond 

"exactly" he chuckles

"so, i saw you and gina messing around this morning outside the cabins" i say

"so?"he acts oblivious

"so... you're gonna act like you two don't like each other?"i question 

"i don't like gina!"he whisper yells

"okay... keep telling yourself that "i say before walking away

i went to get dinner then walked around for a bit as the sun went down

"hey, wait up jules"i turn seeing e.j 

"hey,hey, hey "i say as he runs up to me grabbing my hand

"interesting rehearsal wasn't it ?" he chuckles 

"i think it was great" i say before we both burst out laughing 

"look miss jenns aren't built in a day . i mean even her first semester  was a little rocky "i chuckle

"yeah  i would say this went a little more than just a little rocky"he says looking down at his feet as we continue walking 

"don't beat yourself up. you're not in this alone , you have val "i say a small wash of jealousy running over me  when i say her name

it stays silent for a second as we take in the scenery 

"hey, so i was thinking . i know you have a lot going on  so if you want to take it easy for the summer , we can, i wouldn't want you to worry about me and you  on top of all the other things and-" i ramble before getting cut off

"jules, no. you are the one thing i don't worry about. maybe we should dial it down at rehearsal tho ... not that i helped much with the hand grab thing "he chuckles 

"wanna go for a night swim?" i ask 

he nods"race you " he says then running 

"caswell!" i yell before catching up to him and jumping on his back 

after taking a swim me and e.j said our goodnights(okay lets face it it wasn't much talking )and headed back to our bunks

"  hey, did maddox ever come back after dinner ?" i ask walking out of the bathroom scrunching my hair out 

"she probably has some super-top-secret important camp tradition business to attend to."kourtney says partly through her teeth

"is it bad to say she's kinda a lot ? and that's coming from me , someone who is also a lot" ashlynn questions

"what's wrong with maddox ? i think she's pretty cool" i say before laying upside down on my bed

"ehhhh" gina, kourt , and ash hum in unison

"really? wow. she kinda reminds me of me, a few years ago. "i say before the room goes silent "wait did you two think i was a lot sophomore year ?" i ask 

"wellllll" kourt and ash hum in unison again

"okay wow. gina you are my only real friend now "i laugh 

 i pull my suit case out from under my bed  grabbing e.js sweatshirt and putting it on 

i fell asleep wondering who i would be tomorrow

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good morning campers!  i hope you enjoyed todays chapter  put your guess in of who you think jules is gonna be cst as if it wasnt obvious enough

putr your theries in the comments cause i would love to read those 

and hopefully ill