𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎:
Abandonment issues

ONE THING IS SURE. Harper now knows to herself that she was deprived of familial love. As she hears the Cullens laugh and joke around wholeheartedly, she couldn't help but feel bitter.

Growing up in an orphanage at the age of 4 years old in 1984 in Mississippi, Palmer Home for Children.

It was depressing, to say the least. She knew she was different from the rest of the children. While they played in the backyard, she stayed inside her room, reading a book or playing with her pet hamster.

While all the children got adopted at the early age of 7, she witnessed them get out of the hell hole and have a happy family with their adopted parents while she was left all alone and miserable.

Why wasn't she adopted? She doesn't know either, maybe because of her striking bright red hair, maybe how her eyes squint when she dislikes a parent trying to see her condition or getting to know her, or perhaps because she doesn't deserve to feel the love of a mother and a father.

When she reached the age of 18, she was given a choice to stay or get out and live a life of independence and being alone this time, a girl out in the world without someone to cling to. How pathetic and sad. But Harper didn't mind, even if she called the orphanage a hell hole.

She had to thank them for homeschooling them and giving them the quality education that she deserved, another bonus of good and well-conditioned donated books that added extra knowledge.

She eventually saved up for college from her job as a waitress. Finally, She got into college at the University of Mississippi, graduating with a Creative Writing degree. After that, she got a decent job as a journalist at a local post in her supposed hometown, where her parents were supposed to be.

Yes, she did look for them based on the papers the orphanage gave her. A massive wave of disappointment hit her like a ton of concrete bricks when she saw her red-headed mother and father happily enjoying family time with what she could assume were her siblings. She resembled all of them, which saddened her even more.

She was the only one who they sent for adoption.

From the looks of it, she was the oldest. Seeing her siblings run around freely in their backyard, for fuck sake, she was envious of them! She thought all of them were sent for adoption, not just her!

Well, that was fucking depressing. She never did confront her parents. She decided she would have a better life without them! She was doing just fine, and she was going to prove that. Eventually, she got a fantastic apartment after months of saving, adopted a cat, and all was well for Harper May Knight until it wasn't.

She made the worst mistake in her life.

She fell in love!

And she accepted the love she thought she deserved! She didn't know, and she was a victim of gaslighting, love bombing, and manipulation. She thought that was love, and by god, she was in love with him!

She gave all of her and gave until there was nothing to give anymore. She had never felt so used, drained, or tired, was love supposed to be like this? She doesn't know, and she's clueless! It doesn't feel safe or at home, as authors describe it in books.

Harper was desperate for someone to love her! Flaws and all that cliche shit! She was ready for love to swallow her whole and consume her, but by the looks of it, love wanted to hurl her up!

This sucks. Mostly depressing, but yeah, it sucks!

Her mortal life sucked to the highest level!

There is no denying that. As for her first love, who actually murdered her because he thought she was finally waking up from being hypnotized by love's poisonous spell, and literally put a bullet in her stomach as she tried to flee from him.

As she was bleeding out, cold, and alone in an alleyway, Garrett, in all his glory and witnessed everything, turned her into a vampire and turned her world upside down from having a mundane life to a supernatural life that circulates around blood and immortality, mostly being alone for the rest of eternity.

That's where Harper May Knight swore fuck love!

She would rather live and die alone to ever experience and live in another nightmare that is love and how much trauma it brought into her life.

Aloneness was never a problem with her because she never felt lonely at all. Still, as she lay on Alice and Cordelia's queen-sized bed with a bedside table on the left side, with all the laid-out picture frames with adorable couple poses, she felt lonely as ever!

Alice and Cordelia look like a lovely couple based on how they gaze at each other in these pictures. She sighs, wrapping herself in their comforter. Their room is full of art from the walls and the ceiling, a literal no stone left unturned. It's lively and vibrantly full of color yet not too hurtful in the eyes. It was a perfect balance of organized and artsy.

Harper noticed an unfinished painting sitting in the painting aisle near the balcony, and it was full of vibrant colors with different shapes and lines. She did have a painting hobby, but reading is what she favored most. She noticed a note at the bottom of the wooden stool.

"Finish the painting if you like, Cordelia wouldn't mind -Alice."

Interesting. Definitely.