It literally took me almost three weeks for me to take the car keys that Michael had given back to me and actually use them.

I don't know why I was so scared to use them. It wasn't because of my parents finding out, I knew that, because at this point I was done caring about what they thought about me. It was rare that my parents were even home when I was home anyway, so it's not like they were going to find out that I'm using my car or not.

I just didn't want to drive myself to school. I kept going back to the bus stop, because for some reason I thought that if I kept trying things would change and everything would go back to normal for Ashton and Michael and I. Nothing ever changed though, and I guess that it's partly my fault for not trying very hard to actually make things change.

So finally after 14 school days of Michael and Ashton ignoring me in the mornings and then awkward conversations with Ashton in the afternoons, I decided that I should just give up and drive my own car to school. Something told me that they weren't going to notice that I was gone anyway.

Honestly, though, driving to school was not as fun as I thought it was going to be. It was boring, actually, because I was all by myself and I would have preferred having Ashton there next to me, talking like we used to when we took the bus together. It felt normal to sit by Ashton on the bus and listen to him go on and on about his favorite bands and then I'd get annoyed with his rambling and he'd kiss me to try and make it up to me.

That was what felt normal to me, not driving to school alone with the radio off because every single song seemed to remind me of him.

"How was the bus?" I was stirred from my thoughts by a familiar I voice behind me, and I didn't even need to turn around to see who it was.

"I drove to school." I sighed, and then Luke stepped in front of me so we could talk face to face.

"You drove?" Luke asked, looking more surprised than he probably intended to be.

"I got my keys back." I said, shrugging. I wasn't sure if I wanted to explain to Luke exactly how I got the keys back, because I was pretty sure that he wouldn't understand it like I did.

"Your parents cracked?" He questioned. He leaned against the side of my locker again, waiting for me to finish grabbing my books before we could go to his locker. This had become a pretty regular thing for us, now that Brooke wasn't here to keep Luke company and Calum had a new girlfriend and I wasn't always with Ashton. It was one thing in my life that actually did feel normal.

"No." I shook my head. "Michael gave them to me."

"Michael? How'd he manage to do that?" Luke scoffed, running his fingers through his hair.

"He kind of, like, snuck in when no one was home and looked for them." I said slowly, because I knew that Luke was going to think that this whole thing was absolutely crazy.

"He snuck in? And he looked through your parents stuff? Did you tell someone about it?" Luke continue to interrogate me as I finished putting some books into my bag, slamming my locker shut behind me.

"No, why would I tell anyone? That's just how Michael is." I laughed, following Luke down the hall to his locker.

"Creepy?" Luke suggested, glancing at me over his shoulder.

"It was a nice gesture!" I yelled, giving Luke's arm a slap. I'll admit that Michael's habits can be a little creepy sometimes, but I don't really like hearing that from other people. I don't know, maybe I'm just protective over him or something.

"Oh yeah, such a nice gesture. 'Here Dani, let me climb through your window and snoop through your parents things to show how much I love you'." Luke laughed. We reached his locker and he turned away from me to put in his combination, still listening to what I said while he did so.

"You don't get it!" I said, letting out a groan. I slapped Luke on the arm again. "And he does not love me! He has that little girlfriend, remember?"

"I do remember. I also remember that you're extremely jealous of her." Luke snickered, a big smirk on his face as he ducked down again to grab some things from the bottom of his locker.

"I am not jealous!" I yelled.

Luke stood up and place his hands on my shoulders, taking a deep breath. "Dani, honey."

"Honey? Who are you, my mother?" I joked, because in the almost four years that I've known Luke he's never called me honey.

"I doubt your mother calls you honey." Luke said blankly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"True." I shrugged, allowing Luke to continue what he was saying in the first place.

"Take a deep breath, okay?" Luke instructed, and I did what he told me to. "Just calm down, it's Friday and you're acting like it's a Monday."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked after I took a few big breaths, which did ultimately calm me down.

"You're supposed to be happy because it's almost the weekend, and you're acting like Brooke." Luke explained, chuckling softly at himself. When Luke was in a good mood he thought that everything he said or did was just hilarious.

"Brooke?" I questioned.

"You know, PMS 24/7." He shrugged.

"Because she's pregnant!"

"Are you pregnant?"

"Not that I know of."

"You might want to get that checked out." Luke said, patting me on the shoulder once more.

"I'm pretty sure that I'm not pregnant." I laughed. Luke shut his locker door and then leaned up against it, silently deciding that we were just going to stay here and talk until class started until walk around like we sometimes did.

"Oh!" Luke said after a few seconds of silence. "Speaking of Brooke and pregnancies!"

"What?" I asked.

"We're going on a friend date tomorrow night." Luke said excitedly, a huge smile plastering itself on his face.

"Didn't you do that a few weeks ago?" I asked. I knew that they did it a few weeks ago, because Luke told me all about it. They went to that same burger place that Ashton took me to on our hypothetical first date.

"But it was just so much fun that we're going to do it again!" Luke smiled, jokingly throwing his hands up in the air.

"Okay, cool." I nodded, because I wasn't sure why Luke felt the need to tell me this. Of course I was happy that him and Brooke were dating again or whatever they were doing, but it hurt a little. I used to have my own boyfriend to make plans with and now I had to listen to Luke make his.

"You're coming with." Luke said. Oh, that's why he had to tell me.

"No I'm not." I refused, shaking my head. I did not want to third wheel on their friend date. (Which I'm sure was actually a real date, and they were just using a stupid nickname to cover things up).

"Dani, please!" Luke begged. "We're going out to that one Mexican place that you love!"

"But - "

"Don't give me any of that 'But Ashton used to take me there' bullshit. You're not getting out of this." Luke said, grabbing my shoulders again like he was trying to stop me from running away. He wasn't wrong, though, that was what I was about to say.

"Just you, me, and Brooke?" I asked. It wasn't worth fighting with Luke about this anymore, he's been trying so hard for the past few weeks to try and get me to be "happy" again, and I figured that I could at least try to be for his sake.

"Yeah, of course." Luke chuckled. "Who else would I bring?"

"Well how should I know? You could be setting me up with someone!" I countered. A couple years ago when Brooke and Luke first started dating and I was always complaining about being a third wheel they had tried to set me up on a few days, but nothing ever worked out. Actually, it always ended awfully.

"I won't, I promise." Luke said, holding out his pinky.

"A pinky swear? Seriously?" I laughed, but I linked my pinky with Luke's anyways. "You better not make me regret this, Hemmings."

-

Saturday evening rolled around faster than I had expected and before I knew it Luke, Brooke, and I were walking into that Mexican restaurant that I loved.

"This will be fun, I promise." Luke leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, even though Brooke wasn't paying enough attention to hear us in the first place.

I shrugged at Luke's words and let him walk ahead to me, where he greeted the hostess and told her that he had a reservation for tonight. I didn't think he needed to make one, because the few times that I'd come here with Ashton the place wasn't very crowded at all. But Luke insisted and I let him, which I guess was a good thing because it looked like the restaurant was almost full by the time we got there.

The hostess led us to our table and set out four menus, which struck me as weird because there was only three of us. I could feel a nervous feeling settle in my stomach as I sat down and took my coat off, because that's when I started to realize that Luke had lied. Of course he was setting me up with someone, he was Luke.

"Would you like to get started with some drinks or do you want to wait for the rest of your party?" The waitress came around after a minute of us waiting, a perky smile on her face.

"We'll wait, thanks." Luke smiled back at her, his eyes returning to the menu in front of him.

I turned to where Luke was sitting beside me and slapped him on the back of the head. "Luke Hemmings!"

"Danielle Murphy!" He retorted, looking up at me.

"You told me that it was just going to be the three of us!" I snapped, trying to keep my voice down so I didn't cause a scene.

"Oh, did I?" Luke questioned, trying to look innocent.

"Luke, seriously?" Brooke groaned. I saw her kick Luke under the table and he winced, cringing at the fact that we were all yelling at him.

"Alright, who is it?" I asked, because I figured that if he just told me now I could prepare myself for when whoever it was actually arrived. It was only one dinner, I could make it through this.

Luke's eyes darted from Brooke to me and then back to the menu, and then Brooke let out another groan.

"Luke, please tell me you didn't - " Brooke began to say, but was cut off by someone approaching the table.

"Murphy?" Ashton said quietly, pulling out the chair next to Brooke and slowly sitting down so he was across from me.

He looked just as confused as I probably was, his eyes flicking from Brooke to Luke like he didn't know what was going on. It appeared that Ashton didn't know about Luke's little setup either, and just like me, he really didn't want to be here.

"Irwin." I nodded to him, picking up my menu again and trying to focus on that instead of the boy in front of me.

"I, um, didn't think - I didn't know - " Ashton stammered, trying to form a coherent sentence. He eventually just gave up and stopped talking, deciding to pick up his own menu.

I tried really hard to just look at my menu and try to decide on something to eat but I had to resist the urge to slap Luke on the face at the same time. He pinky swore that it was just going to be the three of us tonight and then he went and invited Ashton to come along. I bet that this was his plan all along, I should have never believed that he was just trying to be nice and invite me out with him and Brooke.

But it was fine. Luke was trying to be nice and get Ashton and I back together, I get it. I just didn't think that I was ready to actually sit and have a full meal while Ashton was sitting right across from me. I could barely hold a conversation with him without getting so frustrated that I wanted to cry anymore.

"I'm still really sorry, I didn't know that this was - I didn't think that - " Ashton mumbled, and Brooke put a hand on his shoulder to shut him up.

"Ashton, just stop." She said, sounding extremely annoyed with him.

"So, Ashton, how are you?" Luke asked, slamming his menu down on the table to get everyone's attention.

"I'm fine, I guess." Ashton shrugged, still looking nervous. "I've been doing fine."

"That's great! Isn't it, Dani?" Luke turned to me, a big, fake smile plastered on his face.

"Luke, stop it..." Brooke muttered, glaring at Luke from across the table.

"How are you, Dani?" Luke ignored Brooke, still smiling widely at me.

"I'm okay." I said blankly. I was beyond mad at Luke right now, I just wished that he would shut up and leave us all alone. Since when did he turn into such a little shit?

"That's interesting, really. Maybe you and Ashton can discuss why you're both feeling this way while Brooke and I - " Luke rambled on, but I cut him off.

"Luke, can I talk to you for a minute?" I stood up quickly, grabbing the collar of Luke's shirt and dragging him out of his own chair. I pulled him behind me until we were by the restrooms, far away from Ashton and Brooke who I hoped weren't just sitting there in silence.

I let go of Luke and shoved him against the wall, making him wince in pain again. I stood in front of him, folding my arms across my chest as I stared up at Luke and tried to think of someway to yell at him without actually being mean.

"Are you mad at me?" Luke asked, cocking his head to the side.

"What do you think?" I asked bitterly, glaring up at him.

"Listen, I'm just trying to fix things between you two." Luke said, holding his hands up in front of his face like he was scared that I'd hit him again.

"But we don't need fixing!" I huffed, running a hand through my hair.

I thought that I had explained this all to Luke before, but maybe he didn't understand. Ashton and I obviously broke up for a reason, and we can't be forced back together. If it's meant to be it'll happen again naturally. Luke doesn't need to go around playing Mr. Matchmaker and trying to get Ashton and I dating again.

"You still love him, do you not?" Luke asked. I glanced to the side, where I could barely see the table that Brooke and Ashton were sitting at. They seemed to be uncomfortably making some small conversation with each other, which was good. I just couldn't help but imagine how different things could he, and how different I wished they were.

I didn't want an awkward date with Ashton that was set up by Luke. I wanted a real date where we asked each other questions and talked about new songs that we've been listening to and fangirled about music playing in the restaurant. And then I wanted to walk home with Ashton and hold hands and not even worry about my parents catching us as we said our goodbyes on the front porch.

Basically I just wanted to turn back time and go back to the start, when things were far less complicated than they are now.

And I couldn't just sit here with Ashton and Brooke and Luke and pretend that none of that ever happened, like everything between us was fine now. Because everything wasn't fine, Ashton and I weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore and things weren't how they used to be.

"I'm leaving." I said after a minute of starting at Ashton from across the restaurant. I couldn't do this.

"Dani, please don't." Luke said, pushing himself off of the wall and following me as I walked back over to the table.

I grabbed my coat and bag off of the back of my chair and quickly put them on, giving Brooke a look that told her I'd call her later and explain everything. It was one of those best friend things, she just knew what I meant by "the look".

"Hi, so I'm just gonna go, if that's okay. I'll talk to you all later, alright? Goodbye." I said in a rush, quickly collecting my things and leaving without anything else. I didn't even give them time to try and stop me.

I went outside of the restaurant and sat down on a bench, quickly taking out my phone so I could dial the number for a cab and get a ride home. I knew that it was almost no use, though, because I knew that someone was going to come out and try to bring me back inside.

I just didn't expect that someone to be Ashton.

After a few minutes of me staring at my phone and trying to decide if I actually wanted to call for a ride home or not I heard the front door of the restaurant slam open and the sound of footsteps coming closer to me. I looked over to see Ashton sitting on the other side of the bench, pulling out a lighter from his pocket so he could light the cigarette that was hanging from his lips.

"'Needed a smoke." He smirked at me when he noticed that I was staring, and I immediately looked away from him.

I decided to just lock my phone and put it back in my coat pocket, not wanting to leave just yet.

"Do you want one?" Ashton asked, and I could feel him slide closer to me on the bench. I tried to stare straight ahead of me but I eventually lost it and decided to face him. I nodded.

Ashton pulled out the pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket and found his lighter again, handing them both to me. I lit the cigarette and put it in my mouth, taking a drag like I actually knew what I was doing. I really didn't, but I wasn't going to let Ashton know that.

"I didn't know that you were going to be here, Murphy." Ashton sighed, still staring straight ahead of him. "Otherwise I wouldn't have come. I understand that you don't want to be around me anymore."

"What did Luke have to say to get you to show up tonight?" I asked, coughing into my coat sleeve.

"He told me that him and Brooke were going out to eat and wanted to know if I could come with." Ashton sighed, "I've been talking to him lately, just a little. We have study hall together this semester and he always sits next to me. I think he feels bad."

"He feels bad for everyone." I chuckled.

"Yeah, he does." Ashton said, laughing along with me.

We sat on the bench in silence for the next few minutes, neither one of us looking at each other, just staring ahead and waiting for someone to speak.

"Murphy." Ashton said slowly, finally breaking the silence.

"Irwin." I said in response, taking another drag from my cigarette.

"I like when you call me that. You haven't for a while, I've missed it." Ashton mumbled softly, looking down at the ground as he spoke.

"I've missed you." I blurted out.

"Yeah, I've missed you too." Ashton nodded, agreeing with me.

I didn't say anything else after that, so Ashton continued talking.

"Are you happy?" He asked.

"What?"

"Like, do you think that we made the right decision in doing this? In breaking up?" Ashton clarified for me.

I thought about it for a minute before finally answering. "Yes."

I think that it made more sense that we broke up, because if we hadn't we'd still be lying to each other and I would still be faced with the problem of Ashton loving his ex-girlfriend more than he loved me. Like I said, some people just aren't meant to be and I guess that was Ashton and I.

Of course I would love to get back together with him in the future, but for now I knew that Ashton liked us not being together more and he was probably happy this way. When it came down to it all I just wanted Ashton and everyone else to be happy.

"That's good." Ashton nodded. "I'm glad to hear that you're happy."

"Are you happy?" I asked. I figured that I might as well return the question, since Ashton suddenly seemed to interested in me.

Ashton sat and stared ahead of him for a long time before replying to me. "Yes."

"That's good." I repeated.

"I just think that things are a lot less complicated now. We're both happier, there's no more drama, everyone's...okay." Ashton said, his voice fading out as he spoke. It was almost like he didn't believe himself.

"Sure," I said, and then we were met by another long period of silence.

"Some people just aren't meant to be, I guess." Ashton sighed.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"But... But if we are meant to be, Murphy, I think we'll know." Ashton continued, "And it may take some time, but I think that if us being together is really the right thing we'll find a way back to each other."

"Do you really think that's true?" I asked softly.

"Think what's true? That we'll find a way back to each other?" Ashton questioned.

I nodded.

"Yeah, Murphy. I believe in us." Ashton shrugged.

He finished up the last of his cigarette and then dropped it on the ground, crushing it under his foot. I did the same and then stood up again, checking the time on my phone. I wondered if Luke and Brooke were still enjoying their friend date inside, and if they were wondering how Ashton and I were doing. Probably not.

"It's cold, Murph." Ashton muttered, taking a step closer to me. He shoved his hands down in his pockets, his weight shifting from one foot to the other like he was trying to warm himself up.

"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked, holding my hand out for Ashton to take.

After talking with Ashton I decided that maybe it wouldn't be too bad for us to sit and share one meal with each other. It wasn't doing either of us any good by trying to run away from each other. I couldn't just hide from Ashton for the rest of my life just because of one little bump that we were trying to get over. He was right, if we were meant to be we would come back to each other and for now the best we could do was just try and be friends. We could make it through this, I knew we could.

"Yeah," Ashton nodded, taking my hand an intertwining our fingers as he led me back into the restaurant.

-

so dani wants to get back together with ashton but she feels that they did the right thing by breaking up because everyone's much happier this was despite how sad she is without him

and now they're just going to try and act civilized with each other and see how things will play out because they both think that they'll just naturally get back together

I also listened to amnesia while writing that last part and wowza