Full moon [noun] - the phase of the moon where the whole disc is illuminated.

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The air had shifted.

It was three days after Kane's birthday and the oncoming full moon had charged the energies around us. The entire pack could feel it. His renewed reign was strengthened by it. Full moons heightened our senses, strengthened our emotions and illuminated the wolf within us—our true nature.

I was cautiously anticipating this full moon because it was my first with Kane. There was no telling how we would affect each other, and I didn't want the moon's pull to make me do anything I wouldn't do with a clear mind.

There was also the fact that in every nightmare where he killed me, the full moon was bright in the night sky. I still couldn't get my head around it but since the nightmares hadn't returned, I was able to not think about it.

It helped not to when Kane was being so sweet and trying to make things work between us.

Ever since I pledged my allegiance to him, I began to feel hope blossoming. It was a seedling at this point, but I wanted to have everything I had dreamed of having with my mate.

It was close to evening now and Kane hadn't returned since breakfast. I had underestimated how busy an alpha could get. I was about to text him when there was a knock on the front door.

I slid my phone back into my pocket and answered the door. Carmen was standing there with a bright grin on her face and takeaway bags in her hands.

"Hey, Rina—I come bearing goods!"

Her exuberance prompted a smile from me. "You do. What do I owe the pleasure?" I was slightly confused seeing as I wasn't expecting her.

She lifted the takeaway bags. "Do you mind if I come in and put this down?"

I nodded and spluttered out a sorry. "Where are my manners? Of course." I stepped out of the doorway and beckoned her in.

She walked over to the kitchen and I followed her. She placed down the bags. "Our mates have gone on an impromptu trip. I thought we could have a girls' night in? Spend a bit more time together?"

Her hazel eyes shone at the thought of it, and I felt my heart warm. "Kane didn't mention anything to me but I'd love that."

Her grin widened and she began taking out the food. "I only managed to catch them on their way out. I'm sure Kane will shoot you a message soon."

As soon as she said it, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and read his message.

Kane: 'Sorry for the late notice but I'll be back in the morning. Taken a few of my men to check something out.'

I stared at his message for a moment. Back in the morning...after the full moon. I quickly replied with 'okay' and put my phone back in my pocket.

"How about we watch a movie?" I walked up to help her plate the food. "Or what is it you normally do on a full moon?"

"Finn and I normally spend full moons together. Date night of sorts."

"Right." I smiled. "What are full moons like with a mate?"

Her head tilted to the side and the love was clear in her eyes. She looked head over heels for Finn. "Just think everything times ten. It's all-consuming."

Everything. I wondered when I was going to feel that.

"I was nervous for our first moon but..." I trailed off before a thought came to my head. "You don't think he's avoiding me, do you? An impromptu trip seems...I don't know."

Carmen's smile faltered and she shook her head. "Trust me, Alpha hates being apart from you already."

I couldn't deny how good it made me feel to hear that. I changed the subject. "You know it isn't a proper girl's night without face masks and nail polish. I'll go get them from upstairs."

Her smile was back. "I'd like that. Let's have some fun."

When we had finished our dinner, the full moon was high up in the sky, clear and luminous. The curtains were open and the light shone into the living room. I stared at it, feeling entranced. The moon's pull on wolves was like its pull on the oceans—it flowed through us like the blood in our veins.

My wrist began to flame up and I hissed, pulling my sleeve up. His name was alight on my skin and I pressed my palm against it. It was no use—it didn't have the same effect as his touch.

"What's wrong?" Carmen asked, alarmed.

Her gaze dropped to my wrist before she quickly stood and yanked the curtains closed. My eyebrows furrowed when she locked the front door.

I couldn't ask her why she did it when his name began to burn like it did when it first appeared on my wrist. The tears were clouding my vision and I tried to steady my breathing. "Ice," I panted. "I-I need ice!"

Carmen shot into action and ran into the kitchen. I heard the tap running but it got drowned out by the ringing in my ears. She came back a few moments later, water sloshing in the bowl that she was holding. It was filled with ice cubes from the freezer.

I plunged my hand into the bowl and sighed when the cold countered the heat. Carmen held it steady and I saw the worried expression on her face when my tears finally fell.

"I've never seen anything like this...why does it burn?"

My hair fell into my face as I shook my head. "I don't know. I've been confused ever since I touched him for the first time." At the thought of him, my heart ached. The full moon was exacerbating everything. "I need him to come back, Carmen."

Her lips parted before they closed again and she frowned. "They've been on the road for a few hours already. I don't think he can."

My stomach twisted and I felt sick. "I don't know what's happening to me. I'm-I'm scared."

Sympathy filled her eyes. "I'm here, okay. I promise I won't leave you alone. We can call him, okay?"

I nodded and took the bowl onto my lap. She took out her phone as I cradled it to my body, willing the pain to stay away. I heard the call go straight to voicemail.

She frowned. "Let me mindlink Finn."

Her eyes misted over and I desperately wanted to know what they were talking about. The concern flashed across her face and when she noticed me watching her, she turned towards the door.

I waited until she was done to speak. "What did he say?"

Carmen sighed. "The same thing is happening to him. They can't come back though."

I tried to keep calm. If it were any other night, I would be able to keep it together easily. But it wasn't any other night and I couldn't ignore that I needed Kane. I needed him to take the pain away like he always did.

"What about if we talk to each other? Something has to work if he can't be here."

She shook her head apologetically. "Finn said it's...worse for him. More painful."

The lack of control I had was making me lose my mind. "What is happening?" I whispered.

Carmen looked at a loss for words. "Let me try something." She turned on her heels and bounded up the stairs. She returned a minute later with Kane's jumper in her hands. "Maybe smelling his scent and having something of his on will help."

I was in no position to argue. She took the bowl from my lap and I pulled his jumper on. His scent flooded my nose and I felt slight relief. My wrist didn't begin to burn but it was throbbing. This I could manage.

"Distract me," I pleaded, looking up at her. "Please."

She blew out a breath and nodded, nervously tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She took a seat on the couch, turning to face me. On the coffee table were the nail polishes that I had brought with me. "Red is your colour."

She twisted the cap open and took my other hand into her lap first. I was grateful when she began painting my nails. I tried my best to ignore the throbbing so that I could salvage whatever enjoyable night we were having.

When my nails had dried, I painted hers a dark blue. It was close to midnight when the tiredness began to wash over me. I hadn't slept without Kane since the first time he helped me sleep. I did my best to stay up until five a.m. Carmen was a good friend by staying up with me. We were on our third movie when my body stopped giving me much more choice. My eyes slowly started to close.

"Don't fight it anymore, Rina—the pain took a lot out of you," Carmen murmured, standing up and draping the throw over me.

I sleepily nodded before allowing myself to succumb to it.

—————

I was woken up by the sound of something breaking. I sat up quickly, squinting my eyes in the direction of the sound. I wasn't sure how long I was asleep for but the early morning light was filtering through the bottom of the front door.

I reached for the TV remote on the coffee table and switched the TV on for some quick light. I tossed the throw off me and stood up, looking around. I couldn't sense Carmen anywhere.

"Carmen?" I called out. I was met with silence.

Sighing, I slowly walked to the front door. My wrist began to tingle this time—no pain, just warmth as if my body could sense Kane was near. At the thought, I quickly unlocked the front door—how had Carmen locked it if she had left? 

My chest felt like it was going to cave in on itself when I looked down to see Kane. He was shirtless and dressed in only shorts, kneeling on all fours in the snow as he buried his hand into it. His wrist was still burning. It was only when I crouched down to meet his gaze that I noticed the blood all over him.

The metallic stench was overpowering and panic filled me when it dawned on me. "Kane!" I gripped his shoulders and dropped back onto my heels when he fell towards me, pressing his forehead onto my shoulder.

"Rina..." he was breathless and pulled his wrist free from the snow. His nails were bloody and raw when his hands curled around my wrist. "Don't take your hands off me—please."

I forced my gaze up at the sky. The full moon had moved from its place and the sunrise had lessened its effect. I nodded and used my strength to pull him up with me. "I won't. I promise. Come inside."

He shook his head. "The blood..." his gaze lifted to mine and he focused on me. "It's not mine—I was hunting."

Nothing was making sense but I chalked it up to his distracted state. "Let's just get it off you."

"Not inside. Hose me down outside."

I scanned the front garden, noticing that he had knocked down the bins before I zeroed in on the hose attached to the wall. He could barely hold his weight so I dragged him with me.

"Try standing by yourself, Kane. Just while I hose you down."

His jaw tightened and he reluctantly let me go, standing to his full height. I quickly turned the hose on and angled it in his direction. The blood washed off him and stained the once pristine snow below him. It was ice-cold and I saw him shivering once I turned it off.

As soon as I was in front of him again, his arm came over my shoulder. I couldn't speak while I walked him inside and up the stairs to the bathroom. I sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed a towel from the cupboard.

I dried him off as quickly as I could. When I stood up to grab him some clothes, he stopped me with a hand around my wrist. I sat back down, glancing at his own wrists. The faint war scars were no longer faint—the skin of his wrists looked raw as if they had been worn down.

"What happened to you, Kane?" my voice shook.

"My men—they had to restrain me with silver cuffs. The pain was blinding—I-I was going to hurt someone. I already killed that deer."

My eyes widened in shock and I hovered my fingers over his skin. "Why do I affect you this much? Why do we affect each other this much?"

The wet strands of his hair were flat against his forehead, just about falling over his eyes. Eyes that were full of deep emotion. "I don't know," he breathed out. "Just don't leave." He slowly leaned forward and his head rested against my shoulder again.

I cradled his head in my hands and held him to me. "It's over now. The full moon is gone and I'm here. I promise."

His breathing steadied as we embraced and his fingers gripped my clothes. "You're wearing my jumper."

I dug my fingers into his hair. "It was the only thing that helped."

His head slowly lifted from my shoulder and I felt his cheek press against mine. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

I tilted my head, feeling the tip of my nose brush against the side of his. "You're here now. Let me help you for a change."

He didn't move an inch and I remembered what he had said to me just over a week ago. I didn't feel fear in my heart. I couldn't when he looked so dependent on me. I couldn't ignore that he was right when he had said we needed each other.

My eyes fluttered closed as I gently pressed my lips against his. Taste. He inhaled softly through his nose and kissed me back, leaning forward so there was no space in between us. His mouth moved against mine slowly until he breathed shakily. It was like he was a man starved and his hands cupped my face to deepen it.

He was waiting for this.

I allowed myself to get lost in the moment, feeling the pure joy that coursed through me. Our first kiss was everything I had wanted it to be. I was the first to pull away.

My eyes opened and I watched as his eyebrows pulled together. He longed for another kiss but was holding himself back. I gently pressed my forehead against his.

"Please tell me that was what I think it was..." his voice was soft and his eyes opened, amber and warm.

"It was..." I replied, curling my hands around his wrists. He sighed as my touch gave him relief.

"You're all I've ever wanted, Rina." His forehead pushed against mine. "You're all I'll ever want."

I slowly smiled. The hope in my heart was blooming.