After reading this, you might find it stupid that it took nearly a year for me to be able to talk about this in detail. I've alluded to the fact that around New Year's 2018 I was very sick and almost ended up in the hospital. Well, this is the full story. 

I was inspired to write this by one of the admins over on a Tumblr page called bts-reacts. She had a startlingly similar experience to mine and I won't tell her story (as that is hers to tell), but do go show her and her post support. Here's a link to her post: http://bts-reacts.tumblr.com/post/180080615700/where-ive-been-the-past-couple-days

So, the story really starts in the Summer of 2017. I was between my Sophomore and Junior years of college and my mental health was in a very bad place. I was having panic attacks nearly every two weeks and I hardly felt safe. This is the summer I first sought professional help. 

Due to this, in November, when a small incident occurred in my apartment, I had a panic attack and spent the entire weekend in bed. However, along with this panic attack, came symptoms I've never had before. Such as, chest pain and actually feeling my heart pound against my chest. Whatever I did, I couldn't bring my heart rate down. That scared me and I started to think that I was having a heart attack. 

Obviously, this was unlikely considering I was a twenty year old woman and not horribly unhealthy, however, panic attacks are often mistaken for heart attacks in those who have never had them. While I'd had one before, these specific symptoms were new to me. 

Over the next few weeks, I continued to have residual chest pain. It started off as muscle pain, but once that dulled, I continued to have chest pain. I still have a hard time describing it. However, I could connect with the fact that I didn't want to eat. The chest pain often got worse after I ate and it came with waves of nauseousness and feeling lightheaded. Some days and weeks were better than others, but overall, I felt off and I couldn't place why. 

At the beginning of December, I went to the doctor. I had an EKG to check out my heart and some blood work done. Everything came back perfectly normal, which was great, except for the fact that I still had no idea what was wrong with me. The doctor told me it was acid reflex and I began taking over the counter meds to help. They did help, but I could still tell there was something more. 

Once I found out my results, I was honestly devastated. I knew there was something else wrong with me and I felt let down. But, with everything coming back normal, I can't blame for the doctor for the course of action he took. 

I spent the rest of December at home and enjoyed my holidays. I continued to have the weird chest pain, but I'd gotten used to it for the most part. I ended up losing over ten pounds due to the fact I wasn't eating and was eating healthier. The weight loss was too fast though and not healthy (although I did need to lose weight and kept the weight off). 

I'd mostly accepted that being lightheaded and light eating were a part of my life. That was until New Year's Eve. 

For the record, I hate New Year's Eve. It's my least favorite holiday (even before this incident), so this only solidified it as one of my least favorite days of the year.

The New Year's Eve of 2017 I sat in my living room and watched BTS perform. It was excited, but also frustrating, because my family did not share the same love for BTS that I did, and didn't fully understand it (even though I was a Directioner years ago and they totally know how it works lol). 

After the performance, I stayed up until around 2AM listening to music. However, I started to feel extremely dizzy and my vision was blurry. I also had an intense headache in the back of my head. Thinking I was just overly tired, I took some Tylenol and went to bed. 

I woke up 10 hours later and didn't feel any better. The headache was the same--if not worse-- and I still felt exhausted. I tried to express to my mom, but she only told me I needed to go to my dad's (my parents are divorced and it would take too long to explain the arrangement lol). So, despite the fact I could barely stay awake and my vision was still off, I drove to my dad's. 

I honestly don't remember much of the drive. I just remember getting there, saying I didn't feel well, and going to bed. I woke up again at around 5pm. My dad, at this point, knew something else was wrong and asked if I wanted dinner. I told him no, but drank some water instead. I watched a couple BTS videos on YouTube and tried to watch a Run episode, but the headache ensured I couldn't focus on anything for too long. I was up for a few hours before falling back to sleep for the entire night. 

I woke up the next morning. I felt slightly better, but not much. My mom--at the time--had a job that required her to drive long distances everyday. I decided to go with her. It was finally when I fell asleep in the car (something I usually hate to do) and slept in the car as she worked, that she knew something was really, really wrong. I was pale and just looked sick. 

We drove back home and stopped at the doctor. By the time we got to the doctor's office, the headache had actually started going away. However, I made a list of all the symptoms I'd had over the past couple months. 

When we got there, they ensured that I didn't need to go the ER and decided to do various tests. I'd done a pregnancy test and just before leaving they drew four vials of blood. Just as they finish drawing blood, I looked over to see my mom's eyes widen and I told the nurse that my feet felt tingly. 

I was immediately told to lie down and it was only after I was given some juice and laid down for a few minutes that I'd realized I'd nearly passed out. I never have actually passed out, but the few times I've come close were terrifying. 

Looking back on myself, and hearing stories from others with similar experiences, I probably should've gone to the ER. I'm unsure how I managed not to pass out or something more dramatic. Even when I've been severely sick, my symptoms tend to get bad slowly, but happen all at once. I dread to think what would've happened, if what happened next hadn't happened.

We were pulling into the parking lot of a Walmart to get a few things the doctor recommended while we waited for the tests. We were expecting it to be mono (not RM's mixtape ;)), but my cell phone rang and I heard the frantic voice of the nurse I'd seen earlier in the appointment. 

Her voice sounded worried as she told me that they were hoping they could reach me and that I had a severe Urinary Tract Infection and that the doctor had already sent a prescription to be picked up. A wave of relief went through my mom and I that it had finally been figured out. 

I'd actually had a UTI before when I was a kid, but hadn't had one since. I never even thought I had a UTI, because my symptoms didn't match up with ones I'd had before, or even ones that are common with a UTI. 

For people who haven't experienced an UTI or don't know what it is, a UTI is an infection of any (or multiple) of the organs within the urinary tract (including the bladder, kidneys, etc). Common symptoms are: pain when urinating, pain in the abdomen and/or lower abdomen (including back), and trouble urinating). There are many other common symptoms and other symptoms that I experienced that aren't common. 

UTI's are especially common in people with female reproductive organs, but can happen in people with male reproductive organs as well. The most common that can cause UTIs are: poor hygiene, not peeing after sex, and holding it too long. (Sorry, this is all a bit gross y'all, but it is good information to have). And, remember to always pee before and after sex, that's honestly so important and isn't talked about enough. 

The reason I'm talking about this is because UTIs are extremely common, so people don't often realize how serious they can be. The person's post who inspired this ended up in the ICU and a surprising amount of people end up in the ER with UTIs. They can be serious and dangerous if not treated and for as long as I had mine, I would've only lasted at most another week before I was in the hospital with serious complications. 

Take care of yourselves and listen to your body. If you feel like there is something wrong, even if you can't pinpoint it, there probably is something wrong. While I didn't have any of the common and recognizable symptoms of a UTI (in this one case at least, I've had a UTI since where I had the more conventional symptoms), my mental health (which had been improving) got worse and I had chest pain and digestion problems instead of the common lower abdomen pain, etc. 

Since this experience, I have worked on being more in tune with my body and understanding the signals my body gives when something is wrong. I have had a UTI since and I caught it much earlier despite having wildly different symptoms from the one I described here. If you are sexually active or especially prone to UTIs (like me), it is especially important to know how to prevent them and to know how to recognize them before they become a bigger issue. 

There are many reasons I didn't catch it before. My anxiety was telling me it was simply because of my anxiety and I had an extremely busy quarter and overworked myself. Take care of yourselves and if you ever feel sick or have other concerns about your health, see a doctor (as long as you can afford to/ have the resources to). If you don't have the money or resources, consult with nurse hotlines about advice and try to see if there's anyway to wave fees and charges. 

Again, take care of yourselves, don't overwork yourselves, and make sure to practice self care.