Youth group was actually a lot of fun...

It probably would have been awful

if I didn't know Ingrid, Shane, and Grace

but I did,

and they introduced me 

to a lot of people in their youth group,

including a girl named Emory

(she goes by Emmie)

who is Ingrid's best friend.

They were all so nice to me

and I liked youth group.

There were a lot of people there

and even Shane, Grace, Ingrid, and Emmie

didn't know everyone there.

It started out 

almost like a concert

in what was called the sanctuary

but without the chairs

so it was more like a gym.

a very very large gym...

Anyways

they had the church band

singing and playing 

and it seemed like a concert

with smoke

and they had screens 

with lyrics playing what they were singing

and everyone was so involved

and I saw so many people with their hands raised

and some were crying

and others had their eyes closed

and most of them were all singing along,

and some were doing all of it. 

The lights were down

and they had other lights flashing

and it made my heart beat so fast

and I just kind of stuck to Grace like glue

because I wasn't sure what else to do

and despite everyone being welcoming 

I still felt out of place

as if I didn't belong.

I guess in a way I didn't

because I was an atheist 

among a sea of Christians

but then I was just like them

when the band started singing the song Oceans

and it made me cry

and cry

and cry

because it made me think of Daiha

and how she was pulled into the ocean

and how I was terrified of the ocean

and I just

the song hit home...

After the worship session,

 they had us get into small groups.

Shane, Ingrid, Grace, and Emmie

were all in the same small group

which was probably how they knew each other

in the first place.

The youth pastor talked about

the story of the woman who committed adultery.

He talked about how the leaders of the church

had brought the woman before Jesus

and said that the woman was caught in the act of cheating

and by the law of Moses,

should be stoned to death.

They asked Jesus if they should stone her.

The pastor talked about 

how because she committed sin

she wasn't worthy of forgiveness.

how she was deemed in the eyes of people

worth nothing,

and should be killed.

But then,

the pastor said

that Jesus bent to the ground

and drew something in the dirt.

When they kept asking him,

he got up,

and said to them,

"Let him who is without sin among you

be the first to throw a stone at her"

and one by one

they all left

because no one was without sin

until it was just Jesus

and the woman.

Jesus then asked the woman,

"Woman,

where are they? 

Has no one condemned you?"

and she replied,

"No one, Lord"

and Jesus said

"Neither do I condemn you; 

go and from now on sin no more"

The pastor then talked about

how because the people too had sinned

and were not worthy of forgiveness

they could not pass judgement on the woman

because they were the same as her.

He went on to say

that nobody is worthy of forgiveness

because we have all sinned

and should be condemned to death.

Because we have sinned,

we are not good.

There are no good people.

But then the pastor said

that because God loves us

God loves us

so much

that he sent his only son

his only son

to suffer

to be ridiculed

to be put to death

in the most painful way possible

to take the blame

for every single sin committed

and every single sin 

that will be committed until the end of time

to take the punishment

for the entire history and future 

of the world's sin

just so that we could be blameless 

before the Lord

and could be saved.

What I didn't understand

was how there could be no good people.

How?

There were so many people

that have done so much good in the world.

What of those

who don't believe in God

and do so many good things?

Are they still considered bad?

Do they go to hell?

What did they do to deserve such a fate?

Everyone makes mistakes.

But then the leader started talking 

about how our conception of what is good

is entirely different of God's view of good.

good in God's eyes

is perfection.

he requires us to be perfect

to be holy

and to be blameless

if we are to be with him.

He created us in his image...

perfection.

until we ruined it

until we disobeyed 

the single rule he had set for us.

The pastor then quoted verses from the bible... 

Jeremiah 17:9 

"The heart is deceitful above all things

and desperately sick;

who can understand it?"

I agreed with that one

because of what happened with Presley..

how could I have ever loved him?

Why would my heart do that to me?

The heart wants what it wants...

Psalm 51:5

"Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me"

what did this mean for babies,

though?

did that mean that they went to hell as well?

They didn't know any better...

And if they didn't go to hell,

then at what point 

do people start going to hell?

Romans 3:23

"for all have sinned

and fall short of the glory of God"

Ephesians 2:8-9

"For it is by grace you have been saved,

through faith-

and this is not from yourselves,

it is the gift of God-

not by works,

so that no one can boast."

so basically

there is nothing we can do

to get into heaven.

no matter how good people are

it isn't enough

because we aren't perfect...

The pastor said that the only way

that we could be saved

was through Jesus

because he lived a blameless life

because he was perfect

and he took the blame for us.

all we had to do 

was believe

and have faith.

I couldn't help it though...

I raised my hand,

and asked,

"What about the good people?

the ones that don't believe in God

the ones that help others

and are in general 

very good people.

Everyone makes mistakes,

so why should the good people

the ones that have only done 

minor things 

that were bad

be condemned to hell?

Do they just go to hell 

because they don't believe in God?"

I tried to ignore 

that everyone was looking at me

and I tried to keep breathing

to not panic.

The pastor said,

"That is a very good question.

but,

'there is a way that seems right to man,

but in the end,

leads to death.'

Proverbs 16:25.

What we think is good

what we consider to be great,

even,

cannot measure to how good 

God is."

"But how is God so good

when he condemns people to hell?"

"Well,

in the bible, 

perfect does not necessarily mean without flaws,

but it means complete.

Something is perfect when it is finished and whole.

God says in Genesis

after he creates the world

that it is good.

Good also means abundance.

The bible uses good as an adjective

to 'a lot of' or 'very'.

A good thing should be showing

no signs of lack...

That's why God said it wasn't good that Adam was alone.

So he gave Adam, Eve.

That's what good does.

It gives us more of what we need

to stay in tune with God

and to do his will.

and lastly,

good is morally right, 

the definition most of think of 

when we think of goodness.

Good is the opposite of evil

and doing good is a choice we all have to make,

which is something God gave us... free will.

he gave us the choice to do good or evil.

So,

is God really good?

Let's look at the definition of good.

Is God abundant?

Absolutely.

He can't be bound within time or space.

He is infinite,

as is his love,

and his mercy endures forever.

Is God perfect?

Yes.

He needs nothing else to be God

and he needs nothing else to be complete.

God is complete, whole, and finished.

Is God morally right?

Of course. 

He literally wrote the book on morality.

Without God,

there is no good.

so,

the answer is yes.

Despite our own ups and downs, 

God remains a constant goodness.

He created us.

He is our father.

When we do something 

to disobey our parents,

do they not usually punish us?

They still love us,

but we should be punished for what we've done.

The punishment for our sin against God

is death.

That is why no one but God is eternal.

We all must die.

 But where we go after we die

is our choice.

God gives us so many chances

while we are alive

to believe in him,

to have faith in him.

He gave us the bible,

so that we could know him

and believe in him.

And even though there are plenty of people

that we consider to be good,

they ignore the bible,

and refuse to believe.

they want proof.

But the proof is right in front of our eyes.

the sky,

the trees,

the animals,

the grass,

the clouds,

the stars,

the universe,

people,

everything

is God's handiwork.

None of this would be possible without Him.

we would not exist if it weren't for God.

Some people refuse to believe it though,

and it will ultimately lead to their death.

God wants us to believe in him

to trust him

to love him

to have faith in him.

But he's letting us choose.

He's waiting just outside the door to our heart

waiting for us to let him in.

And many of us do...

they let him in

and they let him fix everything.

but others don't let him in.

they believe they can fix everything on their own

or they let other people in 

who say they can fix it

but sometimes

all the other people do 

is mess it up even more.

So,

yes, 

God is good.

But God is also waiting.

Jesus took the blame for our sin

so that we could be blameless,

now,

all we have to do,

is let him in,

is let him fix our hearts.

Have you let Jesus in?

Or are you locking him out,

waiting for someone else to fix your heart?"

_________

A/N

okay that was a lot of Jesus thrown at you guys. I just want to let you guys know, that you don't have to believe what I believe, that I'm not trying to force my religion on you guys. I know that I will probably lose readers due to this message, but I want to share it with you guys, because I care so much about you all, and I want desperately for you to know God's love, because it is amazing. It makes you overjoyed, and makes you feel so light and bubbly when you feel his love pumping in your heart. God is amazing. I hope you read this with open hearts. If you do want to talk about being a Christian, or just have any questions, feel free to pm me:) 

Also, a lot of what was said in this chapter comes straight from the bible, as well as research and devotions by Jennifer E. Jones as well as Robert Velarde. 

Next chapter will include lots of Jax;)

I love you all so much, and I hope you continue reading!

Comment your thoughts, I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter, as well as what you all believe.

xoxo,

Kim<3