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Dedication: Profashionall for the aaaaaaamazing cover. I think it really reflects the story! Thank you!

Recap:

I let his arms engulf me. Snuggling my head into his chest, I inhaled his scent. He smelled like Casey. His arms tightened around me.

For a brief moment, I let myself imagine it was Casey. He was here with me. I was wrapped in his arms, like I used to be. Everything was okay.

It was in this moment, for the first time this part year, I felt safe.

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One and A Half Years Ago

I rubbed at my eyes wearily. I shut off my alarm a solid minute ago, but the ringing was still constant in my ears.

Rolling over, I grabbed my phone. I frowned. There was no 'good morning Princess' or something along those lines. I quickly texted 'Good Morning xx' to Casey, a little surprised he hadn't messaged me. It was something he did every day.

I waited. His replies were usually instant. Sighing, I rolled out of bed and padded to my bathroom.

I went about my morning routine, continually checking my phone. There was still no reply.

This was not a good sign. Casey was my ride to school.

Wriggling breathlessly into my navy pants, I tugged my shirt over my head. I threw on my shoes, before dialling Casey's number. There was no answer. Groaning, I threw my phone onto my bed and continued to do my last minute preparation before school.

"Mum!" I called, sliding into my shoes. "Can you take me to school? Casey isn't responding."

"Yeah, if you hurry up!" she called back.

I shrugged my bag onto my shoulders and hastily brushed my long hair back from my face. I jogged down the hallway and tripped, before righting myself.

"Slow down," mum laughed. "You're not going to be late."

"I know," I panted. "Sorry."

I trailed out behind her and slid into the SUV. I sent a text to Casey, asking if he was alright. He might have slept through his alarm. He has done that a few times.

"Thanks Ma," I said as we slowed to a stop. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Love ya!"

"Love you," she smiled back. "Have a great day!"

I made my way into school, scanning my surroundings to see a familiar, tall, boy with stylishly messy hair, that usually barrels into me as soon as he sees me. That usually happens at lunch, however, considering we usually travel together.

"Sadie!" a voice called.

I turned to Mr McLoud. "Yeah?"

"Is Casey here?" he asked with a frown. "I need to speak with him urgently."

"I don't think so, what's up?"

He pursed his lips. "I wouldn't usually say, but considering how inseparable you two are, I don't see the harm. Casey is failing my class and needs to do a makeup test either today or tomorrow. His Coach saw me today, looks like he won't be able to keep playing football if he's failing more than two classes."

"Failing?" I asked slowly.

"Yes. Please let him know as soon as you can. Thanks," he said, before turning his back to me and disappearing into his classroom.

I stood there for a moment, frowning. Casey never told me he was failing. Why would he keep this from me?

This was so bizarre. Casey is one of the smartest people I know. He has never had trouble at school before.

Withdrawing my phone, I sent him a quick text, rehashing what Mr McLoud just informed me. I may have also added 'get your MF ass to school' as well.

Mentally shaking myself, I forced my legs to walk me over to my group.

"Hey, where's Case?" Aleisha, one of our friends asked.

Well, she was Casey's friend. And it was obvious she has a pretty big thing for him. So, I don't really like her. Because he's mine.

I shrugged. "Not sure, haven't heard from him."

A few eyes swivelled my way. "Oh."

"What?" I asked. "We don't talk all the time."

Aleisha rolled her eyes and Carmel just laughed. "Yeah, okay."

"Why are you acting weird?" Candice asked as I sat heavily down onto the table.

"Mr McLoud just told me-" I began and realised this wasn't something I should share. It was a private part of Casey's life. Well, it must be, considering I didn't know about it. "Never mind."

"Is it about Casey failing?"

I whipped my head to hers. "How do you know about it?"

She shrugged. "I overheard him and Casey talking about his grades the other day."

I ground my teeth together. We told each other everything. I blinked and stared around the group for a moment. All of them were peering around, waiting for something.

Were they all waiting for Casey to arrive? What was I, just nothing?

Gloomily, I jammed my headphones into my ears and tried to block them out.

How many of them was Casey talking to?

A text suddenly came through. I stared down in excitement, but it wasn't Casey, much to my dismay.

It was his brother, Isaac.

'Hey, is Casey at school?'

'No, he didn't pick me up today.'

'Where is he?'

'Beats me, haven't heard from him. Is he not at home?'

'No... I'll keep you posted.'

'Thanks Isaac.'

I bit my lip, worry beginning to gnaw at me. This was very unusual. I just assumed he must have been asleep.

If he wasn't at home and he wasn't here, where was he?

***

Casey's POV:

A long exhale left my body.

I switched my phone off, sick of all the messages asking me where I was. I'm not at school for one day and everyone is acting like it's the end of the world.

Groaning, I rubbed my face roughly. I was failing school. Something I used to find so easy. If I can't play football, there is no chance I will get a scholarship. If I don't go to university, my dad will never forgive me.

I am constantly trying to make him proud. Constantly trying to prove my worth to him. Everything I do is never enough. And I'm getting really sick of it.

This happens sometimes. I get down and I struggle to get my hopes back up. Sadie is the first person I go to, but today, I just don't want to deal with anyone. My head is so cloudy and full of dark, viscous thoughts.

I just need a break from reality.

Throwing one leg over my push bike, I propelled myself forward. I cruised along the main street, looking around. No one spared me a glance. It's funny, how at school, I can't take a step without someone noticing. But today, no one was looking my way. I felt relieved to have eyes off of me.

It was a cold, overcast day. The wind slapping my cheeks made my skin feel dry. I tugged my jacket tighter to my body as I made my way through town.

I was having a mental health day. I just couldn't face school. The mask I wear, 24/7, had slipped and I wasn't ready to put it back on yet. It was hard pretending to be the golden boy. To be the guy everyone likes. The guy everyone wants to be, or wants to be with.

Depression.

It's something I have thought about for a while. Surely, someone like me, couldn't possibly suffer from depression. I'm always smiling, always laughing, how could I be 'depressed'?

Even my best friend would think anyone is crazy if they suggested I was.

Although, on days like this, I truly do think I am.

It was dumb, but I left two letters on my bed. I know it was the 'depression', or so they would say, but I couldn't help think, what would it be like to write a suicide note and then come to the bridge? I just wanted to know what it felt like.

I pulled up short. I was on the bridge, over arching the north wall. I hopped off my bike and threw it to the ground. I stormed to the edge and lent on the railing, trying to keep my breathing even.

I hate myself. I hate what I've become and I hate the way I live.

I've created such a strong image to everyone and I can't break out of this stereotype people have of me. I'm so God damn tired of everything. I'm sick of being the guy everyone can talk to, can rely on, who they trust to be there for them.

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh, gripping the railing.

This bridge is the place I come to think. The cool wind and the silence usually makes me feel better. I then proceed to hop on my bike and ride away, feeling a little less emotionally heavy.

Not today.

I leaned over, seeing the cars busily driving underneath, everyone rushing to work, or wherever they need to go.

My eyes closed as I just listened.

I don't want to be here anymore.

***

Sadie's POV:

I had just sat down, my ham and cheese sandwich clutched in my palm, when I checked my phone. I usually had it off during school. I switched on and hummed while I waited for it to boost up.

I had eaten the first half, before I felt my phone vibrate. I stared down at the screen. It was a message from Casey.

'I love you.'

I quickly sent a reply back. It was sent two hours ago.

Placing my chin in my palm, I let my eyes wander around. I felt really lost, Casey not being here. I don't really connect with the others in our group. It was only him. So when he wasn't here, I felt vulnerable and alone.

Isaac stood suddenly, his phone pressed to his ear. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but he looked extremely distressed. He met eyes with me and my stomach clenched uncomfortably.

He was pale. A sick, faded pale. I felt my own colour drain from my face. Dropping my sandwich, I stood. I met him halfway.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Casey," he choked out, his eyes moist.

"What's happened?"

Isaac took off and I ran after him.

"Isaac!" I called, unable to keep pace with him. "What is going on!?"

I sprinted after him and I reached his Aunty's car a few seconds after he did.

"Get in," he growled.

I did as I was told.

"Hi honey," Mary greeted, looking at Isaac. She gave me a forced smile and started the car. She looked completely freaked out.

"What is going on?" I demanded, growing more irritated by the second.

"There's been an... accident," she murmured.

"What kind of accident? Is Casey okay?" The words rushed out of my mouth before I could draw a breath. My heart was pounding inside my chest. My hands were shaking.

Why was no one telling me what was going on?

"Accident?" Isaac whispered. "Was it an accident?"

Mary didn't answer. Her hands were pale as she gripped the steering wheel. I thought I could see a slight tremor in her fingers, but I couldn't be sure.

"What the hell is happening?" I cried, tears flowing down my face.

I began crying to myself, extremely frustrated. We got to Casey's house. My jaw dropped as there were three police cars out the front. Two wagons and a normal, Highway Patrol.

I tumbled out of the car. Andrea was crying into Jackson's chest. My knees felt weak as I took in the scene in front of me.

"Isaac," Jackson said and Andrea broke from Jackson's hold and clutched Isaac tightly.

"Please," I begged, my voice sounding whiny. "Please, what is going on?"

Isaac looked into his mother's eyes, before looking at me.

"Casey committed suicide."

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How do you feel about seeing briefly into Casey's mind?

Please let me know what you think!