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Dedication: _BlurryJ-hope_ for voting on so many chapters of the story! Thank you! <3

Recap:

"Later," I croaked out.

Frowning, she nodded and got to her feet.

I moved my head back against the pillow and let my eyes close. I felt the familiar darkness tug at me and I welcomed it, with open arms.

When I was asleep, I couldn't feel the pain.

Right now, I needed to feel no pain.

-------------------

"Sadie."

The voice sounded distant. The sound echoed inside my mind as I tried to grip reality. I tried to open my eyes but it was so hard...

"Sadie, it's me," the voice whispered, the sound so familiar to me.

Slowly, my eyes opened and I blinked at the harsh, white light. Defined arms were gripping my shoulders, shaking me lightly.

"Sadie," the voice repeated and I looked up into eyes that I knew so well. I blinked slowly, trying to comprehend if what I was seeing was real or not.

"Casey?" I asked. My voice was slow and foreign to my own ears. I felt my mouth move and there was a delay before the words came out.

"It's me, baby," he whispered.

I could feel his warm breath on my face as he sat back onto the bed. My eyes blurred as I tried to focus on him. He looked the exact same from what I could remember.

"What have you done?" he murmured, his hand rubbing gently on my knee. "Why would you want to kill yourself?"

"To be with you," I mumbled hoarsely, my throat feeling dry.

"You're with me now," he assured me, rubbing my knee once more. "Do you want a drink?"

I nodded weakly. He got to his feet, unfolding his long frame. I watched as he grabbed a cup and began to fill it up at the tap. His back muscles were well-defined and could be seen through his white t-shirt.

Once he returned, he passed me the plastic cup. As I swallowed the cool liquid, my throat felt instantly relieved.

"How...?" I whispered, my voice sounding thick, my eyes wet.

"Shh," he whispered, leaning forward and brushing off a tear from my cheek. I didn't even feel it fall.

"I need to know," I mumbled groggily, reaching for him.

He took the plastic cup from me and crumpled it in his hand, before dropping it to the floor, beside the bed.

He slid his warm fingers between mine. "I'm sorry for what I said about Isaac."

"I don't care about him," I insisted, my voice slow and heavy. "I only want you. Please don't leave me. Please..."

"I forgive you, I do," he told me. "I hurt you."

"Casey," I whispered. "I can't keep chasing you. I can't keep hoping for you to come back to me..."

"Hush, baby," he cooed, his voice soft and soothing. "Go back to sleep."

"But you'll be gone," I whispered. "I can't lose you again."

"Just close your eyes," he instructed.

He leaned forward, pressing his warm lips to mine. I felt my eyes close as he did.

I felt the darkness pull at me. I tried to focus on his lips.

Their feel, his warmth.

It all faded into nothing.

***

"You hungry, Hun?"

"No," I whispered hoarsely as I reached for my water.

"You haven't eaten in days, sweet heart." the nurse sighed. "Please have these biscuits."

She placed a fresh packet of biscuits in front of me. She tore the packet open and passed it to me. My arm felt heavy as I reached for it. I had zero appetite but the last thing I wanted was to be tube-fed.

I bit into the biscuit, the taste bland in my mouth. I chewed at it robotically, wanting to spit it out.

After forcing me to eat three, the nurse finally left me alone.

I sighed heavily, leaning back into my pillow. The dream I had about Casey felt so real. So real that it hurt. I rubbed my face, feeling tired, even though I had done nothing for the last two hours that I've been awake.

Reaching for the remote, I tried to grab it but it fell from the table beside me. With a groan, I leaned over the bed to get it and gasped as I did so.

On the floor, was a scrunched up plastic cup.

***

Sadie: Was that really you?

I never texted Casey back. I felt strange writing him a message... He's dead.

I thought he was dead.

Holding my phone weakly in my hand, I waited. I leaned back into the pillows, feeling exhausted. I had zero energy to even get out of bed anymore.

A soft knock brought me out of my dark thoughts. I flickered my eyes to the doorway, only for them to find a long-framed boy with his arms folded.

"Sadie," Isaac greeted with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

I closed my eyes. Everything was so complicated.

I love Casey but he's dead. Or at least he's meant to be. And then there's Isaac, who is so sweet and caring, well, most of the time. I don't know what I'm meant to do. What I'm meant to feel...

"Sadie?"

His voice was closer this time. I peered through my eyelid, hardly having the strength to open them all the way.

"Shit," he breathed. "You need to snap out of this. You're wasting away."

"I want to," I whispered. "I don't want to be here, Isaac."

Something flashed in his eyes and I wish I had enough energy in me to investigate what it was. His face smoothed as he sighed, wrapping his fingers around my hand.

"Don't say that."

"It's true," I hoarsely responded.

"Don't give in to it," he snapped, his hands tightening to the point it actually hurt. "Don't let the depression take you, like it did to Casey. You, out of everyone, should know what it does to the people around you."

"But it hurts," I whined, my voice sounding petulant even to my own ears.

"Of course it does," he agreed. "Even more reason to fight so that it stops hurting."

"It won't stop," I whispered.

"It will if you try hard enough."

He finally released his captivating hold of me and I felt my hands fall limply to my side.

"Fight for me, Sadie," he urged. "If you don't get yourself out of here soon," he warned, leaning towards me. "I'm breaking you out myself."

***

Moments after Isaac left, I felt my phone vibrate.

I stared down at the screen.

Casey: Yes. It was me.

I held my breath as my eyes re-read those three words over and over again.

Casey... He's here.

He's alive.

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Three days later and I was released.

I had very strict rules to my release, however. Instead of sending me to a mental health institute like they were threatening, I was released on strict terms that both me and my parents have to abide.

I must attend counselling sessions every afternoon after school. Three times a week, I must attend a support group. I also have a social worker who will call me every day and who will come visit me one-two times a week at home.

It was ridiculous. Honestly was not worth it. I should have just jumped.

"Sadie?"

I drew myself from my thoughts as I stared into the eyes of my new counsellor, Dr Ainsley.

"Yeah?"

"What would you like to start our session with, today?"

I let out a deep exhale, leaning back in my seat. I tried to answer him but words failed me. He gave me a soft, reassuring smile.

"How about I start?" he suggested. "How are you feeling, being back at home?"

"I... don't know." I eventually replied.

"Can you elaborate?"

"It feels like nothing has changed - my house is still the same, all my things... Except I feel so different."

"How so?"

"I feel so lifeless. Emotionless."

He nodded, scribbling something down in his notes.

"Why do you think that is?"

"My life sucks," I replied honestly. "My best friend killed himself." I think... "I had to move because things were too hard. I tried to re-establish myself here and failed. My only friends include someone who harassed me to no end and now won't speak to me and has my other friend convinced it's all my fault what happened to him. The one guy that I thought could change things for me, turned out to be an ass. My parents look at me like I'm some diseased person who has ruined their lives and Casey's brother likes me and now I'm just confused with that whole situation." I let out a sigh, clearing my throat.

That's the most I've spoken in what felt like weeks.

He tried to keep his face neutral but I know he was very surprised to get an honest and open response from me. Especially since I never bring up Casey willingly.

I'm just sick of not talking about the thoughts in my mind and the things going on in my life. I need to let it out or it will kill me.

"You have definitely overcome some challenges in your life and Sadie, that makes you strong, not weak."

"Does it?" I asked in a flat tone. "Why do I feel so weak, then?"

"Because you've given up and you can't do that," he told me. "You need to keep going because it can only get better from here."

I exhaled, rubbing my hands roughly on my face. "I hope so."

"You need to regroup. Find yourself some friends. Maybe it didn't work out with your other friends for a reason. Maybe it's a sign that you need to surround yourself with new, positive people."

"Everyone probably thinks I'm nuts," I frowned. "They already do, actually."

"Don't be friends with them, then. Find new people - your support groups will be very helpful."

"They're probably crazier than me," I muttered.

He gave me a small smile. "Would you like me to accompany you to your first support group meeting?"

"That would make me look even more lame," I said with a dry laugh. "Thanks though."

After silence fell momentarily, he cleared his throat.

"Is there anything pressing you'd like to talk about? Anything on your mind? We still have forty minutes to go."

Casey is always on my mind.

"I've been thinking about Casey a lot," I replied honestly, interlocking my fingers together as they sat on my lap.

"Anything particular you have thought about?" he questioned, jotting something down onto his notepad.

I let out a hot breath of air as I met Dr Ainsley's dark eyes. Should I tell him? Should I take the plunge and finally tell someone what has been happening to me?

"You really are going to think I'm crazy," I told him, gripping my fingers nervously.

"I promise I won't," he assured me.

"He's been contacting me," I whispered, my bottom lip quivering. "Casey has been sending me messages."

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And the truth comes out! So sorry about the lack of updates, I know what I want to do with the story, it's just getting there is a struggle!

What are your thoughts on this chapter? :)