Adora's POV

The day after Catra had told me to leave, I had hung out with Antonio. It wasn't generally bad, mostly awkward, until the end of the day when he asked to take me home.

*flashback*

"Hey, can I take you home?" I heard Antonio asked looking at me as we sat on the bench together watching the kids play at the park.

I scratched the back of my head, contemplating my answer. 

"Sure?" I hesitated.

He smiled and got up, dragging his hand out of his pockets to hold out to me. I faked a smile and gently placed it in his hand which he held tightly.

He then dragged me up and just kept it in his hand longer than I had wanted it, but I decided not to say anything. I walked with his hand in mine to the car, he then opened the door for me to get in.

"Thanks" I mumbled slowly getting into the front passenger seat, he then followed by sitting in the driver's seat.

The car ride was uncomfortable for me, this hangout was awkward in general but it wasn't too bad. We talked about our interests and our friend group, I mainly talked about Glimmer and Bow. And..briefly about Catra. He did ask if Catra and I were close, which I didn't know how to answer very well, so I just gave a shrug.

I rested my chin on my arm and looked out the window, watching the trees passing by. I recognized the familiar path and smiled knowing that I can finally head home from this awkward hangout. I eventually was met with my neighborhood and pointed to my house for him to stop at.

The car stopped and I quickly grabbed my bag and waited for him to unlock the car, which didn't open right away. I looked over at him confused, to see a flushed face with his hands rubbing against each other nervously.

"What is it?" I asked curiously

I looked at him waiting for a response, except I didn't get one. I didn't realize it right away, but his lips were on mine for only a couple seconds before I decided to push him away, maybe a bit too hard.

I put my hand over my lips and looked at him with pure horror, "W-What the fuck?!" 

He was taken aback and tilted his head confused, "Wasn't this a date? I'm sorry! Maybe, I made the move to fast, I'm very sorry"

I huffed and pinched my nose furiously trying to collect the words that were swarming in my head, but the only thing that I could think of was...

Catra

What would she think of this? What would she think of me...but we're not together? She knows I rejected her, maybe she doesn't have to know about this.

"It's fine. This wasn't...ugh, this wasn't supposed to be a date. It was supposed to be a hangout, you said. Friends?" I reminded him of his own words.

"Is this because o- of...that girl Catra? Are you rejecting me because of her?" He said ignoring that last part of what I said.

I held my breath, was it because of Catra? Am...Am I holding back my feelings of trying to like him because of Catra? I know...that I still like her, I know that I want to be with her, but it just won't work.

"No, It's not" I lied, "Listen, as long as you don't tell anyone about today like I mean the kiss. Then I will go to prom with you, that's all. I promise you, I won't change my mind"

He listened to my compromise and nodded, "But we can't date?"

"No, I'm not ready for that yet" I lied once again.

"Deal"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later during the week where I decided I was going to talk to Catra, Anotonio had decided to come up to me beforehand and give me a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. I wasn't thinking at the moment, and I hugged him back not wanting to be rude.

The awkward feeling of being near him was back, just like when we hung out. Hugging him wasn't the same as with Catra, I felt safe and protected. I had the feeling of warmth in my chest when I was near her. I just want to be with her...

I wish that things weren't so complicated with her and that the feeling of us possibly breaking up if we dated would just go away, I want to make her mine. I want people to know that she is mine and that she was off-limits.

But I just cant...and it kills me inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean you agreed to go to prom with him!?" Catra yelled but also confused at the sudden confession I made.

"It was an impulsive decision, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time! I promise you, he means nothing to me" I yelled back.

I heard her scoff and begin to walk away, "Whatever, have fun getting laid"

I grunted and ran after her, I grabbed her shoulders which made her furs stand on their ends as I turned her around. My eyes widened when I saw her eyes watery, I held my breath staring at her figure.

"Catra..." I whispered giving her shoulders a less grip on them but still holding them.

I was suddenly knocked back a little, making my body stumble back a little, I heard small sobs come from her as she buried her face into my chest.

"I just want...to be with you, Adora. We have already been through losing each other, but now we're back with each other which proves that we will always come back to each other. Adora, it kills me inside knowing that you may be in love with someone else. You are breaking me inside, please all I want is you, all I want is to be by your side forever. I kissed you that one night to prove how much you meant to me, I know I mean something to you as well, you don't think I'm afraid that you might leave one day if we break up or something bad happens? But here I am, risking it all. Why can't you do that for me?" She sobbed into my chest with small wheezes. 

Hearing her voice crack made my chest tighten in pain, seeing Catra cry was always my weakness, and knowing I was the reason for this made it hurt even more. 

I brought one of my hands up into her hair and scratched between her two ears that were flat against her head and rubbed circles against her back.

"Give me time, I will think about it. I won't say no anymore, I promise I will try. I will try to not let my feelings get the best of me, just give me time" I promised to hold her close.

I felt her lift her head from my chest and look up at me with tired eyes, her figure, in general, looked exhausted making my heart sink. I lifted my hand to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Promise?" She asked silently.

"I promise" I confirmed.

~~~~~~~~

I wanted to take Catra to my new house ever since middle school because since we lost contact we never hung out. Also, because Catra looked exhausted. But unfortunately, we have that stupid class Mrs. Grant always wanted us to go to every Tuesday.

As Catra and I waited outside Mrs. Grant's room she told me she had to use the bathroom and cover for her, typical Catra.

I tapped my fingers together as I waited for Mrs. Grant, I jumped hearing the door suddenly open. 

"Oh, Adora! Good, you came, Catra couldn't make it?" Mrs. Grant asked worriedly.

I waved my hand and shook my head, "Nah, she's just using the bathroom"

Mrs. Grant nodded and went behind me holding my shoulders then pushed me inside of the room.

"Listen, I've been needing to talk to you. I've noticed some slight changes between you and Catra throughout the week, and I'm sensing something went down with you" She told me.

I shoved my hands into my jean pocket and chuckled nervously, "Yeah, we had some issues and some problems here and there but I'm sure we can work it out"

"Are you sure? I can always help you, I know it's weird to get advice from a teacher but I need you to have a connection. You know, for the fight club coming up and all" She responded twiddling her fingers.

I gave a small thumbs-up, "Don't worry, I understand Mrs. Grant. Just love issues, worried about losing each other, stuff like that"

I watched her ponder and she looked at me very clearly, It almost scared me. 

"If it's about love, perhaps maybe your holding back?" She said still giving me that weird gaze.

I felt uncomfortable under the gaze she was giving me.

"What do you mean?" I asked interested. 

She walked over to her desk and sat herself down, "I heard about you two when you were younger, you two were close before middle school. But something broke in your friendship because one of you promised not to leave each other. But that promise broke"

I was about to interject, but she cut me off.

"But that's not the main point, I have a feeling that Catra is willing to take the risk of possibly breaking the connection you two share now by becoming lovers. But, you aren't" She finished.

No doubt about it, she was right. Everything about what she was saying was right, I was just denying the feeling of it.

"The fear of losing Catra again scares me. Knowing maybe, if I make this decision I will mess up what we have now. If we keep it as it is now then nothing will happen, right?" I asked, hoping that Mrs. Grant would agree.

She shook her head, "Have you ever thought, that you are breaking her heart? That maybe, the fact that you are rejecting her feelings, you are causing her to drift more and more away from you and will eventually end in your connection ending either way?"

I felt my breath hitch in my throat, that thought had never crossed my mind. I kept thinking in my head that maybe if we kept things the way they are and being best friends, nothing would happen with us. But here I am, realizing that I'm breaking Catra's heart by rejecting her feelings. If I keep doing that, then that means that I'm already breaking the connection as it is. Love is so hard.

"The choice is yours, Adora. Do what you think is best" Mrs. Grant concluded.

I didn't end up responding to her because I heard the door slam shut making me jump and turn around. I smiled seeing Catra's figure come into view, but also making me feel guilty knowing that I was hurting her all this time. And, If I kept doing what I was doing...I could've lost Catra again.

"Hey, Adora" Catra rolled off her tongue watching me deep in thought.

"Hey what took you so long" I was about to give her a smile, but my face quickly fell seeing a small trickle of blood coming down the side of her mouth. I walked swiftly toward her and brought my hand up to the side her face, my thumb brushing the blood off her mouth making her flinch.

"What happened to you?" I asked examining her face for any more blood. She didn't look too bad, all I could visibly see was just the blood that came off her mouth and her cheek was slightly red.

"N-Nothing, I just fell.." Catra replied I could hear the fakeness in her voice. She was lying, but I decided not to push the matter cause it seemed like she was on the brink of passing out. 

"Catra...You need to be more careful. Are you getting enough sleep?" I said worried, still gently pressing the palm of my hand against her cheek.

She didn't answer right away and instead looked away from me.

I cupped her both the sides of her face with both of my hands now, "Answer me, Catra. Are you getting enough sleep?"

This finally got her attention.

"No.." She finally replied honestly, it sounded sincere but also very groggy. 

I looked over at Mrs. Grant, she gave me permission to allow us to skip today's first session. I ducked my head under her arm and put it around my shoulder as I held her up. I looked back behind me and gave a silent 'thank you' to Mrs. Grant.

It seemed like Catra didn't take her motorcycle today because it wasn't parked anywhere, I decided to take us to a nearby bus stop. I sat us both down on the bench and waited for the bus to arrive.

I huffed, carrying a person who is built on muscle and a football player isn't exactly easy. Except Catra had a small body for how heavy she was. I looked over at Catra who had her eyes closed, hopefully, she doesn't fall asleep so I don't have to carry her onto the bus, but I don't mind too much. 

Catra had her head rested on my shoulder, I felt myself getting tired as I waited for the bus to finally come. I hesitantly leaned my head on top of her head, surprised how comfy her head was as a pillow. I heard something unexpected, I stopped my shuffling and heard a small noise escape her mouth.

Catra was purring! She never did that, only when she was really happy as a kid. But, I haven't heard that sound since. It was a soothing sound to hear as I closed my eyes and rested my head on top of hers.

 I eventually heard the bus come, I tapped Catra's shoulder trying to wake her up. I looked at the bus driver and gave him an apologetic smile. He returned it, he must've not been in a hurry since this is the last stop of the day and no one was there. I decided to gently blow on her nose which caused it to scrunch up making me chuckle.

"Ado..ra?" She groaned out, her eyes beginning to flutter open.

"Hey, talk later. Let's get onto the bus" I said grabbing her up and helping her up. She finally was able to stand up on her own and step into the bus. Luckily, our busses had the seats that fit two people, but there was only a limited amount of those. I sat down in one of those and patted the seat next to hers. 

"How long was I out?" She asked rubbing her eyes.

"Only for a little while, don't worry about it" I reassured her, putting my hand over hers and giving it a light squeeze

She looked down at our hands then back at mine, the feeling inside me was familiar. Just like the day Catra and I shared our first kiss together. The atmosphere felt the same way, everything felt hazey around us, like nothing mattered. For the first time, I felt the urge to kiss her without thinking of the consequences.

I brought my hand up to her cheek and held a loving gaze into her eyes, "I'm ready, Catra"

Catra softened her eyes and put her hand over my hand that was still holding onto her cheek, "Prove it"

I smiled and leaned in pressing my lips to hers, it was if all the problems I felt lately were lifted as I felt Catra's lips move against mine.

I broke the as we both panted for air, I was about to pull away but I felt Catra placed her lips back onto mine, harder this time. I let a small whimper as she ran her tongue along my lower lip making me slowly open my mouth. She innocently slipped her tongue in, our tongues brushed against each other. Making me groan and her purr, I smiled against her lips and broke the kiss.

"You're starting to purr again," I said smirking.

She blushed and gave my cheek a weak slap, "Shut up"

I leaned my head onto her shoulder and closed my eyes satisfied. Today, was the happiest I have felt in a while. And, I'm glad it was because of Catra.