North POV

My eyes were sore.

Red-rimmed and raw from crying. I hadn’t slept properly. I hadn’t eaten. The ache in my chest hadn’t left since the moment Johan left.

We were sitting on the campus lawn near the Fine Arts building, the sun dipping slowly toward late afternoon. My fingers were still curled tightly around the lunchbox I’d made for him this morning—now slightly warm, the condensation making my palms damp. The rice would probably be mush by now.

But that wasn’t what had my hands trembling.

“North…” Phoon said gently, crouching in front of me, his brows furrowed with worry. “You can’t keep skipping class like this. You’re going to get sick.”

“I already feel sick,” I whispered hoarsely.

Easter sat beside me, his hand on my back, rubbing slow circles in that way he always did when I spiraled. Dao knelt beside Phoon, a bottle of water in his hand that I hadn’t touched.

“I really messed up,” I murmured, voice cracking at the edges. “He—he’s not even reading my messages anymore.”

My eyes stung again, fresh tears rising unbidden. I bit my bottom lip, hard, like pain could somehow ground me. “I want to explain… I need to explain. Easter, you know I love him. I do. I know it sounds stupid but it’s not just a dare anymore—I love him.”

Easter didn’t say anything right away. He just tightened his grip on my shoulder.

“I believe you,” he said softly. “But does he?”

I didn’t have an answer. My breath caught in my throat.

Just then, the sound of footsteps made us all turn.

I blinked.

There he was.

Johan.

Tall, unreadable, walking out from the direction of the student council office. P’Arthit, P’Hill, and P’Tonfah flanked him like shadows.

He hadn’t seen me yet.

But I saw him.

And my body moved before my brain could catch up.

I stood abruptly, nearly dropping the lunchbox in the process.

“North—” Phoon started, but I was already walking. Fast. Heart thudding violently in my chest.

I reached them just as they turned the corner past the courtyard. My voice wavered as I called out, barely more than a breath at first.

“Phi…”

Johan stopped.

Only for a moment.

His jaw tightened as he slowly turned his face toward me—eyes unreadable, lips pressed into a hard, thin line.

And then he turned away.

Like I wasn’t even there.

Like I didn’t matter.

“Phi, please…” I said again, stepping forward, panic rising like bile in my throat. “Please, just… hear me out.”

I was shaking. Desperate.

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

He didn’t respond. Didn’t even blink.

I swallowed hard, fighting to keep my voice steady. “You’re misunderstanding—my feelings for you… they were never part of the dare. Not really. I know it started that way, but everything after—everything—was real. I was real.”

His silence was deafening.

“If you don’t believe me,” I said, choking back a sob, “if you hate me, you can yell at me. Hit me if you want. I’ll take it. I deserve it.”

I reached out, my hand closing gently around his wrist. “Just don’t walk away. Please…”

That was when he moved.

Fast.

He yanked his arm out of my grasp so forcefully that I stumbled forward, losing my balance. The lunchbox slipped from my hand and hit the pavement with a hollow thud.

And I fell.

Right there in front of everyone.

Hands scraping against the concrete, knees hitting the ground with a jolt that sent pain shooting up my legs.

The courtyard went silent.

Even the wind seemed to pause.

I didn’t move. Couldn’t. My breath stuttered in my throat.

For the briefest second, Johan froze. His eyes flicked down to me—something unreadable flashing through them. Guilt? Regret? Pain?

But just as quickly, it vanished.

His expression hardened.

And without a word…

He turned and walked away.

Not even a glance back.

P’Hill and P’Tonfah hesitated, their gazes lingering on me—Tonfah especially looked like he wanted to say something—but then they followed him, disappearing down the path behind the admin building.

Only P’Arthit remained, watching me with a gaze that was half sympathy, half disappointment.

He sighed.

“Its okay nong,” he said quietly, "he needs time".

Then he left too.

And I was alone.

On my knees, the lunchbox still lying unopened beside me, its contents ruined.

My friends rushed over a second later. Easter crouched in front of me, his eyes wide and full of hurt.

“North…”

But I didn’t hear the rest. My vision blurred, and the sound of blood roared in my ears.

I had broken something.

Something real.

And this time, I didn’t know if it could be fixed.

      ✿✿✿

Johan POV

I kept walking.

One step. Then another.

My fists clenched so tightly at my sides I could feel my nails digging crescents into my palms.

“Jo,” Tonfah said sharply behind me. “That was very rude.”

He wasn’t yelling. He didn’t have to. The disappointment in his voice cut cleaner than anger ever could.

“He fell,” Arthit added, more frustrated. “You saw that, didn’t you? He got hurt, and you just walked away?”

I didn’t respond.

I couldn’t.

My jaw was locked tight, my shoulders stiff. Every muscle in my body begged me to turn around, to check, to do something. But I didn’t.

I kept my face blank. My eyes forward. The only sign of anything was the twitch in my jaw.

But my ears rang with the sound of North’s voice. His trembling, breaking voice echoing back at me like a ghost I couldn’t outrun.

"If you don't believe me, you can hit me if you want."

"Please don’t walk away."

And yet—I had.

I forced myself to keep walking, past the courtyard, past the lingering eyes of students who had stopped to watch the scene unfold. My spine straightened, chin high, expression unreadable.

But then—

Something inside me cracked.

I turned my head. Just slightly. Just enough.

And I saw him.

North was still crouched on the ground, his arms wrapped around himself, shoulders shaking. His friends were around him—Easter, Phoon, Dao—all trying to help. Dao was picking up the fallen lunchbox, brushing away rice with shaking hands.

He didn’t look up.

Good.

Because if he had, I might have stopped walking.

Might have gone back.

Might have made the mistake of forgiving him too fast.

Because the truth was—I wasn’t angry anymore.

Not exactly.

I was hurt.

Deeply, stupidly hurt in a way I didn’t know how to process.

Because I’d let him in. Against every instinct. Against every warning in my own damn head.

I let him inside, and he’d turned it into a game.

A dare.

Even if it was real now, how the fuck was I supposed to believe him?

How could I be sure this wasn’t just more of the same?

“Jo,” Hill said quietly as he caught up beside me. “You don’t have to forgive him right now. But don’t punish him just to protect yourself.”

I said nothing.

Not because I didn’t understand.

But because I understood too well.

So I kept walking.

And this time, I didn’t look back.

Even though every part of me wanted to.