・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

Sanskaar took a week to make up his mind. 

A week spent by the four of them and Tanisha, arguing the deal, with each one of them opposing and supporting it, in turns. That was the way they usually discussed; with a cool head when they had to support what they did not want, using reason and facts; and arguing with heated passion when they took a stand they wanted. There had been doubts as to how straightforward Maya was and meticulous analysis as to what her reasons for picking them could be; but the ensuing detailed discussions with her lawyers and the Mitra team did clarify most of the issues.

All agreed that it was a good deal, based on business considerations; Laksh confirmed that there would be no legal ramifications, Ragini bubbled in excitement as they drafted the possible future plans for the publications and Siddharth felt it was fitting that the Senguptas lose their identity by being merged with the one whom they had almost destroyed. 

And though Sanskaar accepted that the deal was favourable, he was still disinclined to accept the deal till he found out that both Kabir and Rache were also in favour of the deal. It would have been difficult to identify how Sanskaar felt that Rache agreed but he apparently approved the of the mood Sanskaar was in, less stormy and more pensive. Kabir had been worried and finally wrenched out the reason for the change in mood; his initial reaction had been disbelief vented in a stream of curses that had made Sanskaar roar in laughter. 

It was much later that Kabir gave his opinion, "You know Sanskaar, in a way, it is exactly what you wanted. I know you would have liked it if you could see them squirm when you lorded over their company, but you can still do that even if they are no longer around. And what happened to them, it is like Karma personally making them pay, and is actually better than what you planned for them. You wanted to make them suffer, they are. You wanted Sanjay to lose his son, he has. You wanted to Sanjay to lose his company, he will, if you take up Maya ji's offer. In a way, you have got both and he has lost it all."

Pride filled Sanskaar as he heard Kabir, and once again, he regretted not knowing him as a brother, a regret deepened by his promise to Vidya Maasi which meant that he could never acknowledge him a brother in future either. Shrugging that bitter wistfulness aside, he watched Kabir sitting cross legged on the floor, beside Rache, who was lying on his back and seemed to be in dog heaven as Kabir scratched him; Rache had accepted Kabir completely. Smiling at the two of them, he asked, "So how come you are so wise, young man?"

"My dad. He always says that most of the time we do get want we pray for, though rarely in the way we want it. So instead of getting angry that things did not work out the way we planned, we should learn to see what exactly we have got."

It was good advice, Sanskaar realised and he spent the night in calm contemplation; making up his mind in the morning.

He knew it was a good decision for the clincher came with Anu Maa's words, as they sat at the dining table, discussing their final plans over her delectable meals, when she said, "It seems right that you take over the Sengupta Publications and run their business, they have not done much good to be remembered, so it is better that what you do ensures that they are forgotten by everyone."

・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

It was more than two months after the accidents that Annapurna went to the temple which Gauri frequented. She went on a Monday, for she did not want to meet Gauri but was surprised when the priest, who recognised her, mentioned that Gauri had often asked about her. Confused yet curious as to why Gauri would be seeking her out, she returned on the following Wednesday and waited on the temple stairs.

Gauri rushed to her, though she seemed hesitant, as if she were caught in an internal conflict, which she was. The fire at Abhay's clinic and the discovery of Prashanti's charred body, which had been identifed only by the presence of her scooty outside had them involved in a police investigation. It had taken the police more than a month to close the case as an accident; the official verdict being that Prashanti must have surprised a thief who had killed her, the autopsy had revealed knife cuts to her throats. The burning of the clinic, however, took longer to conclude, for evidence pointed that it was Prashanti who had carried the can of kerosene to the clinic. Gauri had been dragged into the questioning and after hearing what had happened to Prashanti, she had been plagued by sympathy and anxiety, often worrying as to how Prashanti's family must be coping with the tragedy but not having the courage to meet Annapurna, though she would at times enquire with the temple priest. 

Annapurna laid a hand on her wrist and  motioned her to sit beside her, which she did and then placed a tightly wrapped packet into Annapurna's hands, "I am sorry with what happened to Prashanti, I did want her out of her lives, but not like this," she faltered and then continued, "this is some money I have saved over the years, it is not a small amount and thought it cannot compensate for your loss, it is all that I can do now."

Annapurna looked down at the packet, from the size she could make out that it would indeed be a significant amount and indignation flooded her. She had not much sympathy for Prashanti, blaming her irresponsibility for Ram's fatal heart attack and she bristled, "You have decided to forgive him."

Gauri looked at Annapurna, who had made no attempt to take the parcel and understood her anger, "He is the father of my children and irrespective of what he has done to me, I know he loves them."

But when she noticed the fleeting change on Annapurna's face, disappointment and anger flashing in those eyes, she said, "I cannot deny my children their father, but I have not forgiven him for what he has done to me, I can... never think of him as a husband, never again. I will stay with him only as the mother of our children."

Shame and regret replaced Annapurna's momentary ire; a part of her had hoped that Gauri would leave Abhay, she had felt that it would be a fitting punishment for a man who has helped hide a crime and who had cheated on his wife, but when she heard what Gauri decided she realised that it was a bigger and better one. It would also entail a tough life for the young woman and pride flooded through her as she said, "Gauri, I am sorry—"

"No Maasi, you are older than me, you should not apologise."

"— I am wrong, so I can. Listen to me, you are a brave woman and if you do as you intend, you will need this money in future. Abhay might not think twice about sleeping around but he would not like it when you cut off the marital relations with him. You are strong but then financial desperation can weaken anyone. Just promise me one thing."

Gauri stared at Annapurna, her misty eyes holding the fiery ones and she nodded as Annapurna blessed her, "Be happy, always. And bring up your daughter to be as strong a woman as you are, and teach your son not to be a weak spined man that his father is."

Gauri allowed Annapurna to pull her into a tight hug and then pulling free, walked out of the temple with her head held high, without a backward glance. She would never be able to tell why she had that conviction, but she knew that she would never see Annapurna again.

・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

December 18, 2017

To our valued and respected Clients:

We are pleased to announce that effective January 1, 2018 the operations of Sengupta Publications will be taken over by the publication division of SNLRS Consultancy Private Limited.

This is a very exciting event for both companies, for our employees and our clients. Our greatest assets have always been our people, and by joining forces we have just made a huge increase in the quality of that asset.

We are forging a new company with enhanced experience and expertise. Our merger will create a more comprehensive internal framework with faster response times. It will also produce an expanded base of highly qualified reporters and editors which translates into better publications and quicker news for our customers.

This is a merger of two highly compatible firms. Though our companies have not worked together in the past, and we are long time business acquaintances, holding similar values and philosophies on doing business: producing an excellent job for customers, an emphasis on honesty and integrity, and the importance of bringing a positive attitude to work.

Though we will now operate as one company — SNLRS Publications — you can rely on the same personal working relationships that you have had in the past. You will still be dealing with the same people, and you can depend on the same quality of work.

In March 2018, we will be moving to our new corporate headquarters at SNLRS offices.

Please join us as we look forward to an exciting and prosperous future for our employees, our project partners and our customers.

Sincerely,

Tanisha Nanda                                                                       Maya Mitra

SNLRS Consultancy                                                             Sengupta Publications

Director                                                                                     Director

___________________________________________________________

The paper shook and his voice rattled, the fury spilling from his eyes as he finally managed to finish reading it. If it had happened a few months ago, which would not have been possible for he would have never allowed it, but if it had, he would resorted to physical violence. But today, trapped in a body that refused to respond to his brain, he was stuck in the wheel chair, immobilised from chest downwards. The accident had left Sanjay with C6 Spinal Cord Injury; he was able to move his wrists and could speak, but there were breathing difficulties, which were made it difficult for him to speak for long periods, especially if he were angry or upset. Further, despite being able to handle the automated wheelchair and hence retain some personal mobility, considering his age and his other ailments, which would require continuous assistance, he had been shifted to the state of art assisted living and rehabilitation facility, which had been built and was maintained by the Mitra Trust, a fact that rankled him.

Maya and their lawyer had handed over the memo to make him aware of the changes. In the initial days following the accident,  the Board had decided that his injuries and treatment could mean that he would no longer be capable of taking rational business discussions and had replaced him with Maya, a change proposed by her father and pushed through with his influence. In turn, she had pressed for the merger with SNLRS.

Maya had decided to inform Sanjay only after the merger was done and now, as she watched him fume, she made no movement nor uttered a word, though her thoughts were on a rampage. This was so different a confrontation, not at like the one she had dreaded to have, all those years ago. There were times when she wondered how their lives would have been if her reports had not come on that day, a day earlier or a day later would have changed the entire course of their lives.

But that report had come on that day, the fateful day when she had been forced to gamble.

Her hands shook as she read the diagnosis; it was what she had feared but had hoped against, prayed that it would not be so. Yet the black markings on the paper could not lie, she had to face the truth.

Maya wondered how she would tell Sanjay what the report meant to her, to them; he would leave her the very instant she let him know that she was incapable of getting pregnant. The medical reasons did not matter, the diagnosis was clear.

There was no way she could confess this news to Sanjay, nor could she keep it hidden; and once Sanjay learnt of her barrenness, he would leave her. He would...

"Would it be so bad if he left you?"

Shock ran through her and she stared at her friend and doctor, who had asked that question. "How can you even think that way, I cannot do it. It would"—

Dr Barnali Das, Gynaecologist and Obstetrician of repute, was a lifelong friend of Maya. She had never married, having dedicated her life to her profession and was a staunch ally of Maya and had never held an opinion about Sanjay. She knew about his mistresses and abortions, was aware of how he mentally abused Maya and was forever insisting that Maya leave him, which also she knew would never happen. So she decided on the next best alternative, to be with Maya when Sanjay was told of the reports.

In the end all their preparations for confession were laid to waste.

When they reached home, they found a surprise visitor; Maya's sister Malati with her sixteen year old daughter, who had startling news of their own. Maya heard her sister, as myriad emotions rose and fell; shock, frustration and anger as she learnt what Malati wanted. But before she could say anything, Barnali spoke up, "Strange are the ways of life, right? You come to me, wanting me to assist in aborting the unwanted pregnancy of your daughter, who apparently is convinced that it is far less painful than a tooth extraction."

Maya was surprised at Barnali's reaction, Barnali was a strong advocate of women's rights, and believed a woman had complete right over her body, and this stand was contrary to her . Yet the shock and despair over what she had learnt, kept her silent.

Malati's daughter, Debina, who had a disinterested air, looked up and glared, "I do not need a lecture, I just want to get on with my life. This is a mistake and I have a life back in US  and I am too young to be looking after a baby. Anyway I am only three weeks along, so there should not be any"—

Debina lapsed in sullen silence as her mother shushed her and it continued for a few minutes before Barnali spoke up, "No I will not assist you in your abortion and I will make it impossible for you to have it done anywhere else, do not underestimate me. I have a number of reasons to do so which I will not list out. What I would suggest is that you continue the pregnancy and give up the child for adoption, I can help you there. And if you need to do it in secrecy I can assist you too. But I will not help you abort a child conceived by your carelessness and especially when your Aunt is also pregnant after years of trying to have a baby."

Maya had been the stunned at Barnali's words, a state that had continued for the next eight months, as she allowed herself to be drawn into a deception she had neither conceived nor assented too. But a tiny part of her was hopeful, convinced the Gods were with her; there had to be no other reason why Debina had agreed to carry her baby to full term and then give up for adoption,  or how easily Sanjay had joyously accepted that Maya be allowed to stay in a small private sanatorium nestled in Darjeeling for her term of pregnancy, how her mother was prevented to visit her by her sister who firmly stated that she would be the one looking after Maya. And Maya's unease at the outlandish charade, which exhibited itself in her being unable to keep her meals down, only lent credence to the rumour that she was suffering from severe morning sickness.

Any doubts she had or concerns she voiced where dismissed by Barnali who would consistently repeat, "We are saving a life and you are getting what you wanted."

Maya had spent the entire time worried that their lies would be discovered, but Barnali's determined ingenuity and luck were her on her side; Barnali had finished the charade by declaring that Debina's daughter was still born while Maya had been blessed with a baby boy. Maya, sheathed in guilt and shame for the lies they had spun, was dumbfounded at Debina's relief that her baby had not survived, and it changed to wonder when she held that baby in her arms. She had loved Sahil from the minute she saw him, any regret or fear that she had, all were washed away with the love that welled within her. 

She was a mother at last.

That joy lasted for five years, five blissful years of  loving Sahil and being loved by him. Five years of joy of adoring and being adored. Five years of absolute happiness, in which she almost ignored Sanjay and forgot how egoistic he could be. And the price she paid was losing Sahil; losing him for the cost of a toy.

For his fifth birthday, Sahil had wanted the latest GI Joe toy, one that was expensive; despite the fact that they could afford it, she wanted Sahil to learn that he could not have everything he wanted in life. Sahil had resorted to throwing a tantrum, normal for any child of his age and which she refused to give in to. Sanjay, however, unable to see Sahil's tears promptly bought him that toy and a couple of other models, a gift that brought out the smiles on Sahil's face and a childish gleeful declaration, "Papa, I love you so much. I love you more than I love Mama."

Those were the magical words for Sanjay, who had discovered the way to Sahil's heart; overruling every objection Maya would make, Sanjay bought his way into his son's affections. Maya protested to Sanjay and tried to reason with Sahil, but each passing day made it an uphill battle, her affection and reason were no match to Sanjay's spending power. And finally on Sahil's thirteenth birthday, when he had shouted at her at his party while Sanjay simply smirked, Maya had given in. Though Sahil had profusely apologised for his rudeness, she retreated into a shell and never ever spoke to Sanjay again, which in hindsight had been another mistake. For her silence had only intensified the hold he had on their son and diminished the influence she had.

She had been devastated at Sahil's death, though the past three months had had her introspecting every thought and action of hers. She could not condone the accident nor his philandering ways, but then she also wondered how much of that was due to deep rooted insecurity; maybe he had always known that he had been unwanted from the moment he had been conceived, maybe death had marked him at that very instant and all that she and Barnali had done was to postpone the inevitable. Then she wondered how different things would have been if she had been a little stronger, if she had defied Sanjay a little, if she had not stopped reaching out to Sahil. 

Finally she decided that maybe Sanjay should also be told the truth about Sahil.

However, when she saw Sanjay's face, she hesitated; for all his faults, he had loved Sahil, in his own twisted way. She could see the remorse in his eyes as he remembered their son, Sanjay blamed himself for that accident and Sahil's death, even if he would never admit the same aloud. She looked at him, he was old and broken and at that instant she made up her mind. There was no necessity to tell Sanjay the truth about Sahil, in spite of his shortcomings, Sahil deserved to be loved and remembered by the people he believed to be his parents. He had not been wanted at his birth, he should not be unloved in his death.

She got up and walked out, unmoved by the tears that rolled down Sanjay's cheeks; they were a small price to pay for the lifetime of tears he had given her.

・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

"You did not tell him."

Maya nodded her head, Barnali knew her too well and she would never lie to her friend, the only one who had always been for her. Barnali, who even after retirement, had come with her so that Maya would not be alone when facing Sanjay. She linked her arms with Maya and whispered, "Come home with me, we will have a movie night out or maybe just talk. When you get rid of that glass prison, which he called as home, you can move in with me, it would be nice to grow older with friends. And for tonight, we are going to order pizza and maybe have wine."

Maya laughed, "We are no longer teenagers, Barnali, to have a girls' night out. Is it really the right thing to do, at our age? 

"Especially at our age," Barnali grinned, "after all we have more years lived than years to live. And we are not old, just long lived. So it is a celebration for the years lived."

・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

Laksh had started the meeting with hopes of celebration at the end of the day, which were now creased and tattered. By the very person who had unfailing destroyed all in his hopes in that matter in the the past, Shekhar Gaddodia. There was a difference, though, in the past Shekar's machinations had been responsible for dashing Laksh's hopes, today it was his passive response. 

Tanisha and Laksh had come to the offices of Shekar Gaddodia to discuss the NDA and their planned course of action. And Laksh, who had looked forward to wresting the control from Shekar, it was to be his personal payback, was now unsure and upset.

Shekar Gadodia slouched in his chair, defeated and resigned, hardly paying any attention to what Laksh was saying, "Mr Gadodia, the Non Disclosure Agreement which you signed is still in force, and when the transcripts were made available to Sahil Sengupta, it was a violation of the NDA terms. His death makes no difference to violation. However, we would prefer that the settlement not be made in cash or equity"—

Laksh stopped for he could see that Shekar was not interested, there was a glazed look in his eyes and he appeared to be thinking something else. Shekar also looked haggard, evidenced by the stubble which covered his face, which was surprising;  Laksh could never recall a time when Shekar was not dressed immaculately or was not clean shaven, there were times, especially during the days when Swara was hospitalised, when he felt that it was vain of Shekar to pay such attention to his appearance.

"I do not care nor will I interfere, you must have already discussed with the Board and come to a conclusion, just let me know what it is and what I have to do. At this point I do not care about any of that, all I want to know is what your plans are for my daughter?"

Laksh made out that Tanisha was smiling, though he could not see her face; this was not how he had planned the meeting to go nor was the question one that he had anticipated. A small part of him wanted to retort, 'why do you care, now? When you almost ignored her existence till date? Why this sudden pretense of being a caring father?'

He would have blurted out his thoughts, the words almost tumbled out, but then he stopped himself; Shekar seemed genuine in his concern for Ragini. Laksh took a deep breath and said what exactly he had in mind and sat back watching Shekar, who simply nodded and said, "Regarding this NDA, I am sure the Board will take care of it, I will do whatever the Board decides is the best. I seem to be an expert at signing blindly, maybe in this situation, it is a good thing."

And then Shekar got up, indicating that the meeting was over, though he had not finished what he had to say, "And regarding Ragini, I would advise you to be careful, no double dealing with her. I may not have been a father to her, but she will always be my daughter, it would be good if you remembered that. For always."

Laksh's soft smile lit up the room, casting a warm glow around them and he could see a different emotion on Shekar's face; he knew that though those words sounded like a warning they were in fact, permission. Not that he needed the permission, but it felt nice, it was half the battle won.

Maybe he could still find cause for celebration.

And here ends this chapter. Do let me know your views, what do you think of Sahil now? And about Maya? I would love to know what you think of them. The next update would be mostly from Swara's point of view, she has been missing in the past few chapters and we should know what she thinks or rather feels, right?

love,
Nyna