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Seven years later

"Enough, Sunny, you will tire him out, he has to rest and you have to go to school tomorrow, now be a good boy and let me take you home."

Four year old Sunny pouted, "Sunday, no school, Mumma."

Swara knew her son and did not try to correct her error. Instead, she raised an eyebrow and set her jaw, a steely glint appearing in her eyes; his petulant retort did not melt Swara, "Sanbir Karan Prasad Kapoor, you have two minutes to say goodnight and start packing to leave."

At that firm tone and the use of his full name, both of them grimaced, they knew she would not budge, so little Sunny gave in. He knew his mother too, when she had that look in her face, not even his best friend, his Sunny Uncle, could do anything. He carefully leaned over, gave his Uncle a big sloppy kiss and nodded as Sanskaar whispered to him. Clambering down the bed, as slowly as possible, for jerks would hurt his Uncle, he stood beside the bed and bent down to give Rache a good bye rub. He then dragged his feet while walking out of the room as though he hoped his mother would relent and let him stay, which he knew would not be happening.

Swara watched him leave, his small frame drooping with dejection and sighed; it was always a task to get him to leave Sanskaar and his Neha didi, though he would bounce back in a few minutes, for his cousins and Ragini Maasi would be coming along with him to his Nani's house; that was their weekend routine. She might have relented and allowed Sunny to stay longer, but she knew that Sanskaar tired easily, his health had been failing steadily over the last couple of years and he spent more time in bed than out of it, and hence her insistence that her son allow Sanskaar to rest.

She looked from him to Sanskaar, who seemed surprised to see her, though he was quick to hide it and gave her a smile, one of genuine pleasure and joy. She smiled back, despite having known him for around ten years, his smiles always had the same reaction on her; they left her reeling under their brilliance.

And in answer to his raised eyebrow, she shrugged, "Kabir had an emergency so I came over to pick Sunny up, it would be tough for Di to manage the three kids while she drove so..."

She stopped when she saw the soft knowing smile and the twinkle in his eyes, "Fine, I will admit, I wanted to see you so I decided to come over."

That was partly the truth, though Swara was flustered to admit it.

Sunny spent his Saturdays at Ragini Maasi's house, and Kabir, despite his hectic and erratic schedule would be the one to drop him off. In the evenings, Kabir would come back to help Ragini get the kids to her mother's place for the Sundays were spent at the Gadodia house, it had been a routine set over the last couple of years. Since Swara had never learnt to drive a car, she would take a cab to her mother's place, which meant that she rarely visited Sanskaar at his home. It was cowardice more than practicality that kept her away, for it was difficult for her to accept that he was doing quite poorly and that each day was a battle wrested from death. And since she did interact him regarding the book series, she did keep in touch, but today she could not stay away and when Kabir informed her about his emergency and asked her to pick up Sanbir, she took the chance it gave her to visit Sanskaar.

Sanskaar gave another of his smiles, a little less brilliant than the earlier one and lowered the bed. She could see that he was tired, for he had not even spoken anything else and she reached to the wall switches to dim the lights. In the dim silence of the room, broken only by the whir of the bed as it slipped to a flat position and the gentle wheezing of Rache, she remembered another day, more than ten years ago, when she and Kabir had barged into Sanskaar's room, like a couple of thieves. That they were, and immature too, or rather she was. Embarrassment pinkened her face, as she recalled what she had done a mere two weeks after that incident, in a daze of adolescent passion, her presumptuous self had announced, 'I love you, Sanskaar."

Swara almost hit herself when she realised that she had said out those words aloud and squeezed her eyes closed, apparently at thirty three, she was still as childish as she had been at twenty three. She waited for a couple of minutes, facing the wall and then dared to look at Sanskaar out of the corner of her eye. He was lying down and she heaved a sigh of relief, he had not heard her. And just when her fingers touched the door knob, she heard it; it was as soft as a mellow breeze, it was a gentle whisper, more like a soft breath, "I love you too."

She froze, eyes wide with shock and then whirled to stare at Sanskaar. But he appeared to be asleep, his eyes were closed and she thought that she could make out that his breathing was regular. She closed her eyes; 'not only was she immature, she was also delusional, hearing things which were not spoken', she thought as she silently made her way out towards where her son had run off to.

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The fifteen minutes that she had estimated would be needed for the kids to be ready, extended to thirty minutes and then stretched to almost forty five minutes. First Sunny insisted that he be allowed to take home the construction vehicles set, which had belonged to Sanskaar and was an early birthday gift; rather than argue with him, Ragini helped him pack them up, though he promised to wait till his birthday to play with them. Then there was the standard dilemma of the twins, who could never make up which of their stuffed toys would come with them, it did not make any difference that both Roshini and Rohini had rooms full of stuffed toys at both their nani's and their Swara maasi's homes; they still had to carry a few with them. Meghna helped them choose and promised to take care of the rest. Finally, it was Niharika's turn as she sulked that she could not go with them for she had art classes the following morning, and Swara mollified her by promising to convince her father to drop Niharika at the sisters's home, after her classes were done.

Finally it was an hour later that Swara and Ragini were able to leave, though they had hardly driven for more than five minutes when the call came.

Swara was bemused when she saw the caller's name; and the next instant she knew, even before she heard a word, though she did place the mobile near her ear, while Ragini stopped the car to a side on catching Swara's sight of pale face.

"Uncle left us, right?"

Swara had no answer to little Sunny's question and did not wonder as to how he knew. Even as Ragini struggled for words, Roshini added, "He did say goodbye to us..."

"...so we knew," finished Rohini, uncaring of the shock and grief that had descended on their mothers. Swara slowly turned around to look at the solemn faces of the children, and Sunny nodded,

"Yes, Maa, he said he was going away soon and asked us not to cry though we could miss him..."

Rohini picked up, trying not to cry, "... We promised because he said that he would be with his Mumma and Papa, and Niki aunty..."

"... Also where he was going he could walk and run and that is why we should be happy that he has left us," Roshini completed, failing to keep a brave face while Ragini sobbed openly though Swara simply sat numb with shock.

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It was two months afterwards that Swara and Kabir sat in the large central room of Anu Maa's house; they had been invited for a reading of Sanskaar's will. Kabir could see that Swara was bewildered and he recalled that last time she had been there; it was the prayer meeting, which was held a fortnight after Sasnkaar passed away and was supposed to be a private one, only for his family and friends, but none of them could turn away the uninvited visitors. Each of them came to pay their respects and left only after letting know those who had gathered about how Sanskaar had touched their lives, be it by a simple act of giving financial assistance or taking out time to talk to them or to inspire them despite his own suffering. Kabir and the others were aware of his involvement but they too were staggered when they saw the multitude of lives Sanskaar had touched; the pride that they felt helped them deal with their grief.

Today it was only the friends who were there, the grief slowly fading to acceptance, though Anu Maa was still unable to stop her tears.

Kabir had a vague idea as to why he was called for the reading of the will and paid scant attention to what it contained. It was a short and clear one, mostly dealing with how Sanskaar's shareholding in SNLRS was to be dealt with and that he had willed his house to one of Laksh's twins, stating that 'in this way both the sisters would have homes next to each other.' That was also not surprising, Kabir had heard it before. It was the final item that left him shocked and had Swara gasping. It was the division of his personal wealth, most of it in bonds and shares that could be liquidated in a week or two. The bulk of it, sixty per cent was to be endowed to the specifically created trust to continue the financial assistance to those with spinal cord injury and the balance forty per cent was to be divided into four equal parts and held in trust, to be paid out to Niharika, Roshini, Rohini and Sanbir, on reaching the age of twenty five years.

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"You knew about it"

He did not flinch at Swara's accusatory tone, for it was partly true. Sanskaar had spoken to his father about wanting to gift a nominal amount to Sanbir and his father had agreed, not knowing that the definition of nominal would be so different for both of them. Kabir understood his father, you could not ask what the amount was but he wished his father had mentioned to Sanskaar how small the nominal amount should be, which again was not a polite thing to do and it was now up to him to pacify an irate Swara,

"Sanskaar spoke to Dad, though there was no way he could know about the amount. I too did not pay much attention because I never anticipated it to be such a large sum."

Swara sighed and nodded, "But what do we do? It is such a large sum, I am in two minds whether we should take it, maybe we could just donate it to the trust that Sanskaar created?"

"He knew we would take this line of thought, the money cannot be touched by any of us, and Sunny can access it only on his twenty fifth birthday."

He pulled her close and continued, "what we can do is to bring up Sunny to follow Sanskaar's ideas and hope that he uses that money to continue what Sanskaar started."

That pleased Swara for she smiled and then cribbed, "I do not like it when you keep things from me, you explain it later and sound so logical and reasonable that I feel stupid to be upset with you."

She rested her head on his shoulder and he pulled her close, wondering what her reaction would be if she knew any one of the secrets that he carried.

He was Ram Prasad Maheshwari's biological son, but since he had promised his father never to let anyone know about that, it was not his secret to share.

And when he had learnt that Swara was pregnant, he had asked her for one thing, if it was a son he would pick the name and she could choose whatever name she wanted if they had a daughter. Swara had simply shrugged it away though Kabir had to confide the reason to his father, for he was not sure if the name he picked would let out the secret. His father had dealt with it in his pragmatic style, by letting his mother know what he planned to name their grandson and requested her to find out if Sanskaar would object. When she had not answered immediately, Kabir had almost given up, but then his mother surprised all of them by announcing her grandson's name.

He had never known what had happened; had not known that after she had seen and held her grandson, his mother had handed him to Kabir and rushed over to Sanskaar's house, only to tell him that she was naming her grandson after both her sons. Her tone was defiant and it was clear that she would not accept any objection, though Sanskaar had been so overwhelmed by that gesture, rather than protest, he had almost cried in her arms.

Kabir could never tell Swara why he was particular that their son be named Sanbir; it was a way to publicly honour his brother, yet be secretive about it. That Sanskaar was his brother, was only his mother's right to tell.

Then there was the mild altercation that they had, more than a year ago, when Kabir had reviewed Sanskaar's ECG and echocardiogram tests. Sanskaar had known that his heart was weakening and had demanded Kabir give him a realistic picture; Kabir was a doctor who did not believe in sugar coating yet as a brother it was difficult for him to state the plain truth. Sanskaar had not reacted kindly to Kabir's hesitation and had demanded, "I am asking you to tell me as a doctor, not as my brother." The stunned silence that followed, lasted only for a few seconds, but it made Kabir suspect that Sanskaar knew who Kabir was. He would have said something but the moment was lost when Sanskaar pleaded, "As a patient I have a right to know, and please give me the truth, I need to know how much time I have."

And so Kabir had told him, "On a pessimistic count, you have three weeks, and if you are lucky, very, very lucky you might have a year, at the maximum."

He smiled as he remembered; his brother had defied all odds to live for one year and three weeks from that day. He could also not share that with Swara, it was a secret sworn under the Hippocratic Oath.

But ever since he had learnt and admitted how less time Sanskaar had, Kabir had spared no efforts in trying to be with Sanskaar as much as possible and that was how he encouraged little Sunny to spent a part of his weekend with his Ragini Maasi. And since Sunny was already enamoured by Sanskaar, who also adored the kid, it was easy to drop him and pick him up every Saturday, which gave Kabir a reason to visit Sanskaar on a regular basis.

And on that Saturday, he had known, with a gut instinct of a doctor and an inexplicable intuition, that Sanskaar would not live through the night. He had also seen that Sanskaar knew it too; they had said their goodbyes in the afternoon before Kabir left for the hospital, for if he had stayed back it would have raised suspicions. And which was also why Kabir had made up an excuse of having an emergency and insisted that Swara go over to pick up Sanbir; she would have never forgiven herself if she had not met Sanskaar that day.

He tightened his arm around her, it was another secret, his own secret, yet not his to share with her.

However, when he heard her sniffling, he was worried, "there is something else that is troubling you, what is it?"

Swara lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him; there was a hint of guilt in her eyes, one that Kabir had noticed since the day Sanskaar died. She scrunched up her face, as if deciding whether she should tell him or not, but then she could never hide anything from Kabir for long.

So she told him; how she was remembering her decade old foolishness and had inadvertently spoken out those words aloud. And when Kabir shrugged his shoulders, she gave a nervous giggle and added that she had imagined that Sanskaar had replied that he loved her too. Kabir only shook his head, and she felt relief course through her, she could not make out why she been rattled but then, Kabir's easy dismissal put her at ease.

Swara leaned over, gave him a quick kiss and then looked around her. They were sitting in the small arbour, in one corner of the garden and in the distance she could see Siddharth's father, as he walked with his cane, Niharika beside him to lend a steady support. A few years ago, they had finally convinced him to move in with them and he had always been a silent strong presence. Today, he seemed bent, as though Sanskaar's death had destroyed another link to his daughter.

"I will go and talk to Uncle, will you come?"

Kabir nodded and signed for her to go ahead and watched as she walked towards the grandfather and granddaughter duo. He then bent down and ruffled Rache's fur, as he asked, "Well, you know it all, right? Shall we go?"

Rache, who, with his innate canine instinct, had sought Kabir out as his master once Sanskaar had died, replied the way he usually did. He cocked an eye open, then shook himself up and stood ready. As they walked, a couple of metres behind Swara, Kabir reflected on what Swara had confided to him. He was sure of two things; Sanskaar always meant what he said and though Swara had a febrile imagination, she was not delusional, which led to one irrefutable conclusion. And with that came the knowledge that he was a keeper to another secret, Sanskaar's secret.

Somewhere, in the last few years, Sanskaar had grown to love Swara, it did not matter when and how Sanskaar had fallen in love with Swara; he had loved her while he was alive, loved her till the moment he died and had loved her with his dying breath. And the deep affection that he had openly shown to Swara, while real, was a lie, for it masked his true feelings for her.

It was a great deception, for Sanskaar had so convinced Swara that he never could love her, when he finally confessed to her, she did not believe him.

And it was Sanskaar's final deception; a master deception, for his death had bestowed that lie with an eternal life.

And with this, we mark an end to this tale. A tale of lies told and truths hidden. I am both happy and sad; happy that I have finally finished writing it out and sad for I would no longer be making this journey again. 

Do let me know how you found this chapter and if possible, now that the story is complete, how have you felt about the story as a whole?

love,
Nyna