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drunken-dude-nuts

Once upon a time, at a party far, far away; there roams a smelly, drunken boy and you. This boy smells of horrible herbs called weed and drinks too much big-boy apple juice.

The beast marches towards you, stumbling slightly. Before he can open his mouth, you have the urge to faint from the rotten stench of the air that surrounds him. This boy tells you something very important...

He has a crush on you?!?!

HOW TO REACT:

If A Guy Says Something Along These Lines:

💘 Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte. 💘

💘 Are you African? Because you're a frican babe. 💘

💘 Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers. 💘

DON'T STAY, RUN!

If You Feel Like Talking To The Guy:

Firstly, get the guy a breath mint because his mouth probably smells like a swamp. And his body odour might be another issue.... Make him take a shower if deodorant doesn't do the trick. If nothing works, I repeat, RUN!

Also get him a bottle of water to sober him up, nothing is more attractive than a guy slurring and tipping over to all directions. The only time he deserves to see stars is when you smack him on the head.

If You Ever want To Lie to Him:

Do not and I repeat, DO NOT kiss one of your gay or lesbian friends. You may think that you are fooling the drunken loser but you are actually making more drama for yourself and everyone else.

If You Actually Like This Guy:

Rather just talk to him when he is sober. Drunk people make things more complicated. And also never do anything with a drunk person, especially with their pungent breathe.

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This was brought to you by girls who haven't left their beds in the past century.

See Ya Soon :)

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