somehow i feel like i am back at summer camp
the year that you ripped me to shreds
before dropping me off in a field
and ruined the nights
i had been so excited about spending
this time i am twenty one
cold in a restaurant in kentucky
a glass of coffee bourbon in hand
yet still all i feel is shame for it
and i want to burn the tickets
and i want to kill myself
for every bit of gratitude i feel
and this is all your fault
i was never allowed to have fun
so now i recklessly chase it
and never allow myself to enjoy it
so i am just constantly chasing a thrill
i am never allowed to feel