Chapter 19

Relief
____

He had never known, finding out you’ve been wrong could be so blissful. He felt the burden he had been walking the past days with, leave him as the old tale revealed itself in front of him, with adequate proof. Astha Khanna left no part of the recollection unexplained, or any doubt that lingered in his mind. True, she had given birth to him, but it was not as an ugly product of some covert affair. She was his surrogate mother.
“At that time Jhanvi had conceiving problems and she had known and agreed to proceed with surrogating. You’re not a cause of her grief Om, their problems might have developed later in life – for Tej and Jhanvi I knew were very much in love with each other.”
And she proceeded to tell him stories of his parents he had never heard, of tiny moments they had shared  with each other, valued each other and above all had shown each other that they cared. It was like waking from a hibernation and recalling an era hundred or so, years back. He could faintly remember those selves of his parents – very much in love with each other, and believe everything Astha suggested was possible. 
She was a lovely woman – a part time piano teacher, with twinkling eyes and an infectious smile. When she caressed his hair, her hand was as warm as his mom’s. Astha sat on the swinging chair by her fire place, an old volume of an album flapped open on her lap. Omkara knelt beside her, his eyes on the photographs as she explained the story behind each, a wistful, content smile on his face as she continued to massage his scalp. 
That was the moment Ri captured in her lens. At the flasher they both turned simultaneously and looked at her in surprise. She laughed at them, tapping her camera pointedly.
“This one goes to my personal collection, don’t worry I’m not publishing it.”
“I’d require a copy of that,” Astha beamed at her, “it’s a precious moment to let go.”
Ri agreed at once, and when she looked away, her gaze collided with Omkara’s. For some reason the intensity of his gaze made her blush, take a retreating step into the shadows. The curtain drawn over his gaze had been lifted and the open honesty with which he admired her, made her suddenly breathless. 
“Aap dono bathe kijiye, I’ll – I’ll be around,” she muttered half heartedly before ducking out of Astha’s cozy sitting room, fidgeting with her camera. Astha smiled at her and then down at Omkara who was still starting after her.
“When are you planning to tell her?” She mused out loud jerking him out of his reverie. 
“Huh – about what exactly?”
“Men and their secrets – “ she waved a hand and laughed. “About your feelings for her, that you love her?”
“I – don’t – it’s not like that.” Omkara stammered. 
“Zindagi hai na – ek pal mein hoti hai, and that moment slips through your fingers in a blink.” She said thoughtfully. “Do you know what you should do to make it stay?”
“You should make a memory out of it,” he replied with a slight smile. “But Ri and I – we have a complicated history. I can never be the person she loves.”
“No one can be that duffer,” Astha knocked his forehead. “You learn to love people for who they are – what they mean to you. And if I’m not suddenly losing my sight and senses – she cares a great deal about you, and you, young man – can you honestly say you’ve never dreamed your future with her?”
Omkara shook his head wordlessly. He could not, for each night that he had somehow fallen asleep she had managed to sneak into his dreams. Looking up at Astha’s twinkling eyes he smiled at her. The lady pushed him towards the door gently. 
“There’s a lantern festival of Buddhists down in the valley, I’m sure Ri would like to go,” she suggested with a wink, shutting her album with a snap. “Meri yaaden toh bohut hogayi, go Omkara, made some memories that belong only to the two of you!”
**
 He found her staring up at the stars peeping through the cloudy canopy. They had been walking down a footpath lit with colorful paper lanterns, both lost in world of their own and a comfortable silence etched between them. She had walked ahead leaving him to admire the handcrafts of a particular set. Then as she turned to greet him, he could see a sheen of tears in the starlight. Suddenly; it came like a gust of wind. He knew there was no need of words between them anymore. Crossing the distance between them in a few long strides, he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame, tucking her against his body, her warm cheek against his heart. 
The world ceased to exist for a moment as he breathed her in, suddenly feeling so much at peace and complete – simply by her presence. Ri stayed like that for a long moment – her own arms locked around his waist and her breath warming a spot above his heart. Then she moved and stepped away from his embrace, looking up into his gaze questioningly. 
He almost stretched out an arm to pull her back unconsciously.
“Ri I –“
“Kush ho – I can see,” she said lightly, “now don’t reduce this moment to a mere thank you.”
“Aur tum?” He asked her. “Kush ho?”
“Yep,” she stretched out her arms to hug the wind, taking another step back and staring at the sky. “Ma used to say, the happiness you get in making someone happy, uss kushi ki baath hi kuch aur hoti hai!”
He watched her as she twirled around, her hair dancing in the breeze and skin glittering in the bluish silver and the yellowish gold of the night and the lanterns. He had never seen someone more beautiful – or someone who felt more belonging than her. She stopped to return his stare. 
“What are you looking at?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Tum.” He said simply.
“Hum?” 
“Meri kushi mein kush hoti hui kitna achchi lagti ho,” he explained, approaching her to tuck back a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked into his eyes, holding his gaze as his hand rested on her cheek. “Apni lagti ho.”
**