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"We are forever choosing ourselves and we are condemned to be free." -Sartre

Dedication: TrainWreckxo for the cover!

Recap:

(Was a flash back from a year ago detailing the reason why Faith and Jacob broke up)

His hand swung towards me, striking me in the face. I lost my balance, falling back. The hit on my face was hard, but not as hard as it was hitting the cement ground behind me. A cry left my lips as pain muddled my head.

"Shit," he swore, somehow sounding angrier than I felt.

I tried sitting up, but the pain inside my head doubled. Black dots danced across my vision. After cursing a few more times, Jacob rose to his full height and stepped over me. He literally, walked over me and left.

I guess I could say this was by far, the worst night of my life.

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Present

The wind was cool as my hair danced restlessly around my face. It was a little after midday and the wind had begun to pick up. At least it was sunny out, for the talent quest. I scanned the area as I drove past, seeing everyone doing last minute activities to ensure their stalls and whatnot were ready.

"I wonder if the acapella group is going to make a guest appearance this year," Brooklyn said, an amused smile stretched across her lips.

I felt sorry for the acapella group. They were kind of cool, until the movie Pitch Perfect came out and now no one can take them seriously. Last year they actually did their own version of the sock puppet acapella that can be seen in the movie, which was pretty funny. But I feel it was a one-time hit and if they try to do anything this year, it will just be lame.

"I hope not, it will just be embarrassing."

Brooklyn giggled, before taking a sip of her coffee. The scent was overpowering, making me wish I'd bought one. At the time, I decided to have a hot chocolate later at the carnival. I should have just had a coffee as well.

"Have you heard from your mum?" she asked and I felt her eyes on me.

When it came to Aubrey, Brooklyn slipped into a counsellor type role and acted like I was someone emotionally unstable. I probably was. I scowled at the mention of her, my grip involuntarily tightening around the steering wheel.

"She tried to call a few times but I didn't answer. No means no, she just doesn't get it."

"I reckon it would have been fun," Brooklyn sighed, settling back into the passenger seat. "I don't mind some of her clothes."

I glared at her and she took a another sip and stared out the window, avoiding my gaze.

We smoothly pulled into my driveway and the first thing I noticed, was that Xavier's bike wasn't in its usual spot. Sliding out of the car, I looked around. We had spoken the other night and what I got from that conversation, I thought we would be attending the talent quest together. It doesn't start for two hours, so he might be back before it.

"Hey, have you finished the essay yet?" Brooklyn asked as she trailed behind me into the house.

I chucked my keys into the bowl and slid my clutch onto the bench. "Almost, just have one paragraph and the conclusion to do. And to finish my reference list."

"Shoot," she muttered, taking a seat at the bench. "I am so screwed."

She withdrew our two muffins from the packet. "You'll be fine, we still have like three days."

"Not all of us can write an essay in one night," she grumbled under her breath, but loud enough for me to hear it.

I rolled my eyes at her. "I didn't write it in a night and if you actually focused on your school work and not on Derek's mouth, you'd probably have it done by now."

"Hey!"

"Truth hurts."

Sitting heavily opposite Brooklyn, I scooped some nutella out of the jar and spread it across the muffin.

"Yuck, Faith," Brooklyn laughed. "They don't mix at all!"

"Nutella is good on everything."

"You're a pig!"

It's true. I am. The nutella dribbled down my chin and ended up over all my fingers. I'm not really sure how, it just happened.

"It's sooo good," I said teasingly, giving her a cheesy grin, knowing that my mouth was messy.

She made a face at me and neatly began nibbling at her own muffin. She ate a lot more elegantly than me, but in saying that, even an infant probably could.

"It's going to be cold tonight," Brooklyn said, changing the subject. "Should I wear my grey coat or black?"

"Grey, I'm wearing black."

"I should have known that," she laughed.

Well, black was my signature colour.

"Let me guess, dr martens, maybe a red top? Or white? With your black jacket and scarf?"

"How'd you know?" I cracked a grin.

I had a pretty basic style. One that I've kept for a fair while now.

"Hey, did I tell you I went over to Derek's the other night and Jacob was there?"

An automatic grimace twisted on my face at the mention of my ex.

"Ugh, no, what was he doing?"

"Not much, they were just playing video games. I got bored and went home. But he said something about you..."

My mouth snapped shut. I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"He just said he reckons you've got the hots for him again and that..." she trailed off, probably realising that it was going to be a mistake telling me. But it was too late, the damage was done.

"Come on, you have to tell me now!"

"Well, he was saying this when I first walked in so I don't think he knew I was there, but he said he reckons he can get you to sleep with him again and Derek said he doesn't think so and yeah, that's it really."

I laughed and Brooklyn stared at me in surprise.

"What a moron. Like I would."

"Well, you did kiss him at your party."

"Yeah, but that was nothing. I was just trying to-" my words died off as I realised I almost admitted that I wanted Xavier to be jealous.

"Trying to what?" she asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"Er- nothing. I better go get dressed for this afternoon."

"Faith!"

I jumped up and began putting all my stuff away. Her eyes never left me as I cleaned the plates and placed them on the rack.

"What?"

"Something to do with Xavier, I'm guessing?"

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Uh huh."

I shot her an innocent look, before winding up my stair case.

The next two hours went by in a blur and in no time, we were heading out the door, on our way to the talent quest. I glanced at my watch. It was ten to three, and the event actually started at three. I was hoping Xavier would be home by now, so we could go together. He must have decided to either not go at all, or go with someone else. For reasons I don't care to admit, that irked me a little. Who did he choose over me?

Brooklyn drove this time and by the time we arrived there, which was only about a five minute drive, I was gripping the door handles for dear life. I really should know to offer to drive. Hers is awful. And if anything, is just getting worse.

The weather had cooled considerably now and the afternoon light was beginning to settle in. It started getting dark early here and three onward got cold. Fast. I hugged my jacket to myself and followed Brooklyn in. I rummaged through my purse for the gold coin donation entry.

"We should have got here early to get front seats," Brooklyn mumbled.

I nodded in agreement, having forgot almost the whole town comes. However, as most people were with their whole family, it was pretty easy to find two adjacent seats.

"Oh, I'm going to get some popcorn and candy floss, mind the seats!" she leapt up and rushed to the growing line and I smiled at her. She was a sucker for candy floss.

I settled back into my seat, before doing a scan. I recognised most people around me. A lot of school kids were here. No Xavier though. I frowned. He told me he'd be here.

I glanced up at the stage as the lights came on and whoever was in charge this year was fiddling around, trying to get the spotlight in the right spot. I felt my cheeks grow warm as a flash back of my top coming down when I performed last, slapped me in the face. I will never forget that. Megan made sure that was the gossip of our school for weeks. I sighed. She was such a cow.

"Oh - sorry!" Brooklyn said sheepishly as she elbowed a man in the face on her way back to the seats. I covered my mouth with my hand to cover up my laughter. She sat down with a huff, almost sending the popcorn flying.

"Slow down before you hurt yourself." I scolded, prying the precious popcorn from her wobbly hands. Last thing I wanted was to wear the popcorn.

The dramatic music that they played every year began and anyone who wasn't at their seats, quickly returned. I looked around, seeing programs planted in everyone's hands.

"Damn, we forgot to get a program."

"Oh, yeah! Too late now."

I began popping the pieces of popcorn in my mouth. The community leader took the stage and introduced herself and thanked everyone for coming, as usual.

"Where's Alex?" I asked suddenly. I totally spaced where he was.

"He went to Fraiser Island with his family, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right," I mumbled, for a second thinking we had forgot to invite him.

It felt weird not having him mutter mean things about people next to us. Most of the time he was the source of entertainment, not the actual acts.

The first person out was a boy who had to be no older than 10, doing magic tricks.

"Called it," I muttered, having made a bet to Brooklyn that a kid would start the show.

The first few acts were pretty slow and I found myself scrolling on my phone, bored of the comedian jokes. Sometimes they were funny but this guy, no offence, was pretty ordinary.

I got so focused on the article I was reading on facebook that I didn't even acknowledge the increased pace of the music into something that was actually good. It was Brooklyn that managed to pull my focus.

"Oh sweet Jesus."

"What?" I glanced up and my jaw fell open.

Red and white lights lit up the stage which told me one thing. It was my mother's fashion line. But that's not what the shocking thing was. It was the Xavier, yes Xavier, on the stage, rocking a navy suit, with a red and white tie. He looked positively amazing.

What the hell was he doing modelling for my mother? She was a bitch to him and now he's doing her a favour? And he didn't even tell me?

He casually walked down the stage, which I now noticed they'd somehow shaped like a runway. I must have really been into that article. He stopped and flashed his pearly whites to the crowd and I just knew the girls were going wild.

The most annoying part though? I couldn't take my eyes off him.

He paused, scanning and his eyes met mine. He flashed me a grin, and winked, before turning to saunter back off the stage.

I couldn't believe him! How dare he go behind my back and work for the She-Devil!

"He looks so good in that suit," Brooklyn said, fanning herself, even though it was cold out.

I slapped her arm. "Stop that."

"You didn't tell me he was modelling for your mum."

"I didn't know."

Her mouth formed an 'O' as she turned back to watch. I recognised some of the other guys from school, that were Xavier's mates. Other than that, I didn't really know the girls. I silently sent a thank you prayer to the Big Man upstairs for not letting mum have approached Megan for this. Now that would have made me mad. Thankfully, no girls from my school were up there.

I hated to admit that some of the clothes she had were pretty nice. Mum's latest boyfriend was running up and down the side of the stage, snapping away behind his huge lens. I laughed out loud a few times. He must be fit to be doing that all the time.

The rest of the show was a bit of a drag, I must admit. There were a few cool dance groups and some singers (including the acapella group), but that was about it. Oh, some kid slayed on the drums. He'll probably win.

I was thankful when it was over, so I could get up and stretch my legs.

"Let's go have a look at the jewellery!" Brooklyn suggested, swiping at my hand and dragging me towards one of the stalls.

We were just roaming around, browsing, when Derek joined us. He leant and kissed her on the cheek, leaving a blossom on her skin. I wanted to vomit in my mouth. I turned away, trying to distract myself.

"What did you think of the show?"

I stared into the jade green eyes of Xavier. He smirked at me, leaning nonchalantly on the table behind him.

"Why would you model for her?" My tone was snappy.

"Why not? I don't dislike her."

"I do! And as my roommate, that's a betrayal!"

He grinned. "You're so cute."

"I-what?" I spluttered, not expecting him to say that. "I, um, what?"

He laughed and I felt my cheeks grow hot. Wow, cool cover up, Faith.

He leaned forward, gently pinching my cheek. "Aw, did I embarrass you?"

"Stop it."

He grinned even wider. "Come take a walk with me."

"No."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and guided me towards one of the balloon popping games. I stared back helplessly to Brooklyn, who's sole focus was now Derek.

"Care for round two?"

This, quirked my interest. I dragged my eyes from the balloons and into his.

"Yeah, game on."

***

Dots flashed in front of my eyes making me feel dizzy.

"Are we done yet?"

"A few more."

A loud groan left my lips. "Why do you need to take this many!?"

"It needs to be the perfect lighting and angle!" he said back defensively, adjusting some settings on his camera.

Somehow, Xavier had convinced me to get dressed, put make up and be his subject. I was standing out the back, near the pool. He wanted to take some "cool shots" of me, direct quote there, so he has some inspiration for his drawings. It sounded cool and I was actually honoured that he deemed me worthy of his drawings.

But now, it had been over an hour and I was getting irritated. I thought it was just going to be a few photos and then I'd be on my way.

"Can you look over your shoulder and act like you don't know I'm taking a photo of you."

"Oh my God," I ground out, feeling like an idiot.

I sat a bit straighter and stared out at the pool.

"Ah, beautiful," he murmured.

My cheeks tingled. Did he mean I was?

"Okay, look back at me."

I did as I was told.

"And now look to your left."

With a slight sigh, I turned my head to the left.

"Annnnnnd to the right."

"Oh for God sake!" I snapped. "I'm doing the same thing in every picture. This is boring."

He frowned at me. "This is art."

"No, this is me getting sunburnt and not actually doing anything productive. You have hundreds, can I go now?"

"Ugh, fine, just one more then," he muttered, disgruntled. "I want you to push all your hair over your shoulders and walk towards the pool. And can you look to the right? Yeah, like that. Yep, perfect. Keep doing that."

I walked to the edge and stopped, feeling awkward and definitely not model material. I was probably the worst person to take photos of.

"I got some really cool photos," he breathed, getting to his feet.

"Good, at least one of us got something out of this."

He grinned. "You love hanging out with me, admit it."

"No way."

I brushed past him as he smirked at me, probably knowing that I actually did enjoy his company.

"Want pizza for lunch?" I asked as casually as I could.

"Yeah baby."

I glanced back at him in surprise. He'd never called me baby before.

He gave me a lope-sided smile and I turned back, hating that my stomach squirmed at the sight of him.

I prepared the pizza and placed it in the oven. Turning around, I ran straight into Xavier's chest. I staggered back, startled. He reached out, his long fingers wrapping around my slender wrist.

"Thanks for today."

His warm breath fanned my face and I swallowed uneasily, looking up at him. "Er- all good."

Tantalisingly slow, he brushed a bit of my hair back from my face. I couldn't breathe. I was overwhelmed with the tidal wave of emotions I was feeling. I desperately wanted to feel his lips against mine.

I leaned closer to him, before his phone suddenly dinged. It snapped me back to reality. I stepped back, clearing my throat. I couldn't start anything with Xavier, considering he was my roommate. We were stuck together, so if things went bad, it would be really awkward.

And besides, after Jacob, I told myself to not get myself into a relationship until I graduate from high school. Not that Xavier probably would want a relationship anyway...

I walked towards the bench as he grabbed the juice, pouring us some drinks. Without thinking, I glanced down at his phone. He had a new message, from Jasmine, a girl in our year. She was pretty, so it makes sense.

I felt my stomach twist painfully. Of course he didn't like me. He was just playing me. This was all a game to him. My eyes suddenly feeling watery, I bit my lip, staring at the message, surprised out how upset I felt over it.

'Hey, are we still on for tonight?'

I should have known better.

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Sorry if this was boring, was more of a filler chapter but I promise it's all leading up to something!

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