***this is religious***

This verse is dedicated to my truly amazing little sister bUt_Is_It_BALSAMIC_ who actually is the one who sent it to me first

This is so perfect for me, especially this month. I have had a very trying time. I am supposed to get my NG tube changed every month, but I have had to have it changed 4 times this month.

For those of you who do not know what an NG tube is it is a type of feeding tube (mine is 42 inches long) that goes up your nose, down your throat, and then into your stomach. You are fully awake and alert when they are placed. It's pretty brutal, especially the first time, but then you more or less get used to it. Except when it goes wrong.

So tube #1 went in fine. It was uncomfortable because when is having a tube crammed up your nose and down your throat ever going to be comfortable? Answer: NEVER. But it was fine and went okay. The problem was it got clogged less than a week later and so then I had to get it pulled out and replaced with a new tube.

Tube #2 placement was AWFUL! It was super painful and the tube ended up jabbing/scraping the side of my nasal cavity. We thought it would get better but then two days later and it was worse. It turned out it was also coiled somewhere in my esophagus or stomach and I always had a sore in my nose from where it stabbed going in and so I actually had to pull tube #2 out myself before my nurse could even get to my house to do it.

Tube #3 placement was better than tube #2 but also bad. The tube itself started coiling in the base of my throat and didn't make it down my esophagus or into my stomach and so it was pulled out and we had to try again.

Tube #4 FINALLY went in smoothly with no issues. It's still doing good and so now I'll be able to (hopefully) keep it for a month before needing another change.

So basically this verse was perfect for me because I was super upset after this happened thinking, WHY? It's bad enough I can't eat and need a feeding tube in the first place but why can't the placement just go smoothly?! Reading this verse made me step back and remember that I just need to trust in God's plan, even if I don't always understand it, because he loves me and is leading me towards a greater purpose of His design.