Blame
Michael's POV
I wake up and turn over and once again, Leanne isn't there. I look over at the cribs and see the babies are still sleeping so I quietly make my way downstairs and Leanne is in the living room on her phone and I walk over and peck her lips then sit down beside her.
"Who are you texting so early?" I ask, glancing over at the time. "I was just texting Jason to make sure he..."
"You know the rules. No working while we're away" I cut her off, taking the phone from her. "But I was just checking to make sure he ordered extra stock because we have a wedding event and I need to make sure...."
"And that's what Janet's there for I chuckle slightly. "Fine. Whatever. Give me my phone back" she rolls her eyes playfully. "Can I trust you not to make any business call or to check in on people?" I smirk. "Yeah, yeah.. I heard you. Now hand it back" she says stern yet playfully and holds her hand out and I give it her back.
"Why are you so worried about work anyway? If there was a problem Janet has everybody else there" I point out. "I'm not. I was just checking is all" she shrugs putting her phone down on the table.
"I um... I noticed you were having bad dreams again last" I mutter "Nope" she shakes her head and picks her phone back up and pretends to be doing something, to try and avoid the conversation. "Are you sure about that? Because people don't usually cry in their sleep unless..."
"I probably just had something in my eye" she shrugs and gets up to leave the room "I'm gonna check on the twins"
"Their fine" I say taking her hand gently to stop her walking away again. "Why do you keep doing this? You can't just walk away or ignore it, everytime you feels upset or scared. Because it's pretty clear you are and..."
"I thought the idea of the 4 of us coming here was to get away from everything. Did you just bring me here to constantly get at me? Because if you did we could have just stayed at home for this" she frowns. "I'm not getting at you. I'm just trying to help you. And we did come here to get away from everything, but it's what's going on in your head that you can't get away from and you never will if you keep trying block it out" I say softly and she doesn't say anything.
"I'm sorry if me keep bringing it up upsets you, but I'm really worried about you. You've barely slept or eaten and I can't help you unless you talk to me"
"You can't help me" she mumbles. "Why can't I help you?" I frown confused. "Because... nobody can. Unless you can go back in time or erase things from my memory, then you can't help me"
"I can't do any of that, but I can listen. If you just open up and talk to me then you won't have to deal with this by yourself"
"But there's nothing to talk about" she shrugs. "There's plenty to talk about. Leanne, you've been through so much in such a short space of time and you refuse to stop and let everything sink in. Instead you just try and block it out and keep going and pretend like nothing happened. That's not good for you"
"And so do you" she shrugs. "I don't block things out and keep everything to myself" I shake my head. "You sure about that?" She says, folding her arms and I don't say anything for a moment then sigh heavily.
"Fine. Maybe some things I do, but not as much as you do and..."
"Yet you expect me to talk about it, but you don't have to?" She shrugs. "Then why don't we sit down and both talk about it? And we'll both be completely open and honest and we can both answer any question the other has" I suggest and she doesn't say anything for a moment.
She opens her mouth to speak and we hear the babies crying. "We should go and get them" she mumbles and turns to leave the room and I gently take her hand, stopping her again. "So can we talk?" I ask softly and she doesn't say anything for a moment.
"And you'll be honest me?" She mumbles and I nod. "I promise. Anything you wanna know. I'll be completely honest with you. Will you promise to do the same?" I ask again and she nods. "But not right now. The twins will be hungry and..."
"Tonight. When their alseep" I cut her off. "As soon and Ryan and Annabelle go to sleep. Me and you will come down here and talk" I cut her off and she nods and turn to get the twins and I sigh slightly in relief as I follow behind her.
We've been at my families vacation home for 5 days now and even though things have been great during the day. It's the nightimes that are the issue. I've heard her crying in her sleep every night and whenever I ask her about it or how she's feeling she just keeps changing the subject like she always does and I've barely slept worrying about her. Because I'm worried if I fall asleep or leave her alone while she's like this, she might do something to harm herself again.
Her saying that she's willing to talk to me about things is a huge step for Leanne and I'm praying that she doesn't back down and change her mind by tonight.
****
Carley's POV
I haven't been able to get the conversation I over heard out of my mind and keep repeating over and over in my head and the cries from my little Sofia as she broke down and cried as she spoke to her friend Emma and it's killing me inside knowing the pain and suffering she had to go through and I wasn't there to protect her and keep her safe and I don't care how much Randy tries to justify his actions, but Michael is just as much to blame for Sofia's pain as those evil monsters who stole my baby and forced her to do those disgusting things.
Michael may have married her and claim he loves her and that he never harmed her, but no matter what he says it doesnt changed the fact that he stole the innocence of an inoccent 15 year old girl... MY baby girl and paid someone to allow him to force himself on her then purchased her like she was nothing but some cheap toy for him to play with whenever he gets bored. He may not have physically harmed her, but the amount of trauma he's put her through is something I can never forgive. Sofia may forgiven him, but that's something I can never do.
There's many disgusting men out there who have harmed her, but no more the man who's home I'm parked outside of. He should have been protecting her and put a stop to what was happening, but instead he abused his power for his own sick perversion and encouraged others to do the same and encouraged them to hurt and traumatise her as best they possibly could and I'm not going to let him get away with it. If it wasnt for him none of these people would have been able to get away with harming innocent, vulnerable girls. He's to blame for all this
Ryan and Anna have already got more than what they deserved for what they did to Sofia and now he has to pay too.
After a few hours of waiting, I finally get my chance once I see his wife leave the house with his young son and daughter and I wait a few more moments after they drive away then make my way over and knock on the door.
"Mr Charles?" I smile "That's me"
"I'm Mrs Jones. Your son's class teacher" I fake a smile. "Ok.. um. May I help you with something?" He frowns confused. "I'm here to discuss the incident that happened in class the other day. I arranged with your wife to come and speak with you both today"
"What incident? This is the first I've heard of any problems with Toby"
"Um... perhaps we could discuss this inside?"
"Oh... um. Yeah of course" he says looking even more confused and moves aside to let me in.
"My wife actually took the kids to her mother's. I'm afraid they won't be home until later tonight. She must have gotten the wrong day or something"
"That's ok" I smile closing the door behind me and locking it. "We don't need them anyway"
****
Michael's POV
"I didn't plan it. Or even think about it. It just kinda happened"
"How can hurting yourself just 'kinda happen?' I ask confused and She shrugs. "I tried to do what the other girls said and just block it out, but I couldn't and it was like the more I tried to block it out. The more I thought about it and the first time it happened I didn't even know I was doing it until I felt my arm start hurt and I looked and saw all this blood and realised the whole time I was crying, I'd been scratching my arm and it's hard to explain but... when I could feel it physically it didn't hurt as much inside and I could block things out a little. And for awhile it worked"
"When was the first time you did it?"
"About a week after Mary took me there"
"Didn't anybody see what you were doing?"
"Mhm.. a whole bunch of times" she nods "And nobody tried to help you?" I frown "Emma got me a towel once" she shrugs "That's it? She just got you a towel?" I frown and she nods "I cut the back of my leg, but I cut it a little deeper than I thought and she gave me a towel so I could clean it of the bathroom floor before it stained. She gave me some other tips on how to block things out. I did try doing things her way, but it didn't work. It just made me more aware of why I was there. I was just something for men to play with when they had nothing better to do. I tried to do what the others did and just pretend like it was just any other random job, but I couldn't and one day I ended up completely breaking down and I couldn't take it anymore and that night I went to bathroom and as soon as that razor blade touched my skin I just felt this instant relief. I didn't do it that often. Just when things got too much" she explains and I don't say anything for a moment.
"You umm... you broke down when you with me once" I mumble. "I know... Because I was scared of you" she mumbles. "I thought that was because I'd hurt you when we were... I swear I never meant for you to feel that way. That's why I asked you... everytime I asked you. If you would have just told me you didn't wanna be there then I swear I would have left you alone... I would have left you all alone" I croak, trying not to cry and she doesn't say anything for a moment.
"Why did you go there?" She asks. "I started going there with my brothers after me and Lisa divorced. I didn't want to a first, but my brothers kept going on at me to go with them and eventually I did and at first I felt really embarrassed and awkward about it, then over time it started becoming a regular thing and more like a routine. I didn't want a relationship after Lisa, but I missed having that closeness with somebody and I thought that in some way I could get that only without the fear of getting hurt. I thought I wouldn't have to worry about the girl screwing me over or pretending to care about so they could get what they really wanted and in a way I wanted to gain some power back in my life"
"Did you get it?" She asks and I shake my head. "I got the complete opposite of what I wanted. I just got women who were using me for my money which was the exact thing I was trying to get away from the only difference was this time I was paying people to use me and not give a shit about me"
"So why keep going?"
"I did stop going for awhile, but then I started convincing myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong or like it was something to be embarrassed about. I didn't want a relationship, but like all men I still had needs from time to time and as far I was aware the girls wanted to be there so it was kinda like a business arrangement"
"That's it? You just went there for sex?" She asks and I nod. "I know it sounds disgusting, but yes. I'd go in there have sex and then leave. And I know I sound heartless saying this, but as soon as I left I never gave that place a second thought until the next time I went back. I never used to be like that and I'm not like that now, but after my divorce I was depressed for a long time and then I just became a complete asshole and didn't care anymore and then I met you and as much as I tried not to. I fell in love with you and everything changed" I tell her honestly and she doesn't say anything for a moment.
"If all you wanted was sex then why did you ask for me? You already had Emma to give you that. And from what I heard when I first got there, she was your favourite and you always asked for her. Seems kinda pointless to pay all that extra money for me when you were already getting what you wanted"
"I just did" I shrug "I thought you said we were gonna be honest with each other?" She mutters and I don't say anything for a moment.
"This isn't about me. This is supposed to be about you and..."
"You can't expect me to open and honest with you, if you won't do the same with me" she cuts me off and I don't say anything for a moment.
"Because I thought you were cute and I know this is messed up, but when Mary told me you'd just turned 18 and were starting the next day, I couldnt wait to have you and I got off on the fact I was gonna be your first customer, but I didn't know you were a virgin or any of that other stuff I swear" I shamefully tell her truthfully and she doesn't say anything.
"And as for Emma. She wasn't my favourite. I didn't give a shit about or her any of the other girls in there. She was just easier to deal with" I shrug. "How do you mean easier?"
"I didn't have to tell her not to talk to me or try and kiss me or look at me... I hated when they looked at me" I mumble that last part. "Because you knew it was wrong?" She asks and I nod, not saying anything.
"If you hated it then why did you keep trying to kiss me and always want me to look at you" she frowns confused. "Because it felt different with you. I used to look at the other girls the first few times, but it made me feel uncomfortable. Because I could see it in their eyes they didn't give a fuck about who I was. I was just another customer. There was nothing there. No emotion or feeling or anything. But then I looked at you and it was different. There was feelings there. Not just like the others"
"That's because I'd only been there a day and Mary hadn't had time to groom me and break me down like the others. They didn't show you any emotion because they didn't have it anymore to give to you" she mumbles. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I truly am and I hate myself everyday because of what I did" I croak, trying not to cry. "I don't hate you. And you shouldn't either" she says softly. "You can't hate yourself for not knowing something. And your not to blame for what happened to me. You tried to help me the first time and gave me many opportunities to tell you what was happening before that night, but I didn't and when I finally did I ran away from you remember? You can't blame yourself for that" she says softly. "You ran away from me because you were scared of me. You said that yourself. The second time you didn't have a choice but to come with me... because I paid Mary to let me take you" I mutter that last part
"I wasn't scared of you all the time. And ran away the first time because I was scared of what Mary would do if she found out of told you. I'd seen girls try and leave before and she'd always track them down and drag them back and they'd be punished for it. If any of us could leave that easily then we would have"
"That's something I still don't get. There was like 20 girls in that place and.."
"27" she corrects me. "How can one woman over power 27 women?"
"She had alot of help from other people. Mainly the men who were involved in Mary's version on 'Time out' some of them lived in the brothel with us and the rest were always close by, but nobody ever really saw them unless Mary called for them"
"And they just did whatever she told them to do?" I frown confused and she nods. "And they enjoyed what they did too. When she put me in that room with them, not a single one of them backed down or felt any kind of guilt... they were loving every second of seeing me cry and begging them to stop. They'd even me laughthing and joking with each other while they were doing it. It was like the more pain and trauma they caused you, the more they enjoyed it" she croaks and I wrap my arms around her. "And they knew they could do what ever they wanted and get away with it too. Because they had a police officer telling them they could do anything they wanted and would make sure they never got in trouble and he'd always start things off and encourage them to keep going and the longer it went on the more twisted things he'd do and tell the others to do an... an..." She sobs trying to get her words out. "It's ok. Just take your time" I sniffle, wiping away my tears as she continues telling me in detail. Everything that happened to her in that place.
****
Officer Charles' POV
I stayed crouched in the corner trembling and sobbing then I suddenly hear the front door opening, which makes me jump.
"We're back!" I hear my wife Marrissa cheerily call out and the living room door opens. "Oh my god! James!" She gasp then quickly closes the door.
"Mummy. I wanna show daddy my..."
"Not now Lizzy.... um... just go upstairs with your brother" she says behind the door and rushes over to me.
"Baby, what's happened!? Are you ok!?"
"Sh- she said she was a t-teacher an- And I let her in an- And then all these people came an-and..." I stutter shakily. "And what? Baby what's happened?"
"Th-they.... they... d-did things to me" I sob and break down in her arms.
****
Leanne's POV
Michael and I talked for hours and when we'd finished. I went to my room to change for bed and after a few minutes of waiting for him, I go to the bathroom and knock lightly on the door, but get no answer so I open the door slightly and Michael is sitting on the edge of the bath crying.
"This is why I didn't wanna tell you" I say softly going over to him. "This is all my fault" he sobs and I wrap my arms around him. "It's not your fault" I say softly. "Yes is it. I'm no better than any of them. If I hadn't..."
"Stop" I cut him off. "None of what happened back then was your fault. And you are NOTHING like those people" I say softly as I wipe away his tears. "You've done so much for me and..."
"Nothing I've done can make up for what I did and..."
"Come with me" I say softly taking his hand and lead him into the room the twins are sleeping in. "Do you think their nothing?" I point at Ryan and Annabelle. "Of course not! They mean everything to me and..."
"And they mean everything to me too" I cut him off. "Michael, You've given me two beautiful healthy children and a chance to start a new life. Do you really think that deserves an apology?"
"No, but..."
"But nothing. All that deserves is a thank you. and im thankful everyday for what you've done for me. I didn't tell you those things to upset you or to make you feel guilty. I told you because you wanted me to be honest with you and I promised you I would" I smile slightly. "How can you be so forgiving? After everything you've been thr..."
"Because we've both been in shitty places in one point in our lives and we've both done things we're ashamed of. Just like everybody else in this world" I cut him off. "And my mom and dad always used to say that everything happens for a reason and if we'd never met who knows where we'd both be right now" I smile slightly and peck his lips and he breaks away slightly. "About being honest with each other... I..."
He's cut off when Ryan starts stirring and I go to him quickly before he wakes his sister and give him his bear and put it back under his arm and he quickly goes back to sleep.
"We should probably leave before we wake them up" I smile and leave the room and Michael follows behind me to our room.
"What were you gonna say?" I ask as we get into bed and he looks at me confused. "Before Ryan woke up. You said something about being honest" I remind him and he doesn't say anything for a moment like he's thinking.
"I was just gonna say thank you for being honest with me" he smiles at me through pursed lips kisses me softly then wraps his arms around me and we soon fall asleep.
I didn't want to tell Michael those thing's I told him tonight. But the problem with Michael is he's so stubborn and constantly has to keep pushing and now I've finally told him everything I'd been keeping to myself, what happened tonight is exactly what I didn't want to happen but exactly what I knew it knew would happen. Michael instantly started blaming himself and getting upset which is why I didn't want to tell him and have been keeping it to myself.
There were times that I was scared of him like I was everybody else, but I've never once blamed him for what happen. Because it honestly wasn't his fault. He didn't know what was going on and I was the one to blame for that because if I'd been brave enough to speak up and tell him that first time then maybe non of this would have ever happened, but he always seems to ignore that part just like he ignores all the other opportunities he gave me to tell him the truth and just blames himself instead and this is exactly why I don't like to talk about what happened to me and kept it to myself for so long. Because I didn't want Michael to get hurt. I don't want anybody to get hurt anymore even those who hurt me because the past is still gonna be there no matter what.
Mary's gone now and so have the others and all the girls who were there are now happy and starting new lives for themselves, like I have. I don't need anything else. Just knowing those others girls who were once like sisters to me are now safe and happy is all I need.
****
Carley's POV
"It had to be done" David says in a neutral tone and I nod. "Do you think he'll talk?"
"Not unless he wants the whole world to know what and evil monster he is" he shakes his head and I don't say anything.
"We did this for our daughter" he says softly "We couldn't help Sofia then, but atleast we could give her some kind of revenge for what that man put her through and we didn't do anything that he didn't happily do to Sofia and God know how many other poor girls out there. He's to blame for what happened to him tonight just like he's to blame for what happened to Sofia. He got what he deserved. You don't regret it do you?" He frowns and I shake my head.
"Of course not. I'm just worried if someone talks and..."
"You have nothing to worry about" he cuts me off. "None of those guys are gonna say a word. And even if they did, who's gonna believe a group of street junkies" he shrugs. "We need to get cleaned up before Kayde gets back. We can't have our son seeing us like this"
"What happened now?" I ask and he smiles at me through pursed lips. "Now we just have to concentrate on Sofia. We're so close to getting her back" he smiles excitedly and I smile back at him the same way.
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