person: Hey good looking where have I seen you before?

You: I'm the nurse at the plastic surgeon department. Want another visit?

......

person : yo momma so fat I run circles around her for exercise!

You: But remember you were so ugly yo momma stuffed your face full of dough to make gorilla cookies.

.........

person: * person points at you and yells loser*

You: I'm afraid you mistaked me for a mirror.

......

Person: You people are wasting paper. you now thats killing millions of trees. You might as well be take an ax and start chopping! You people are hopeless! Just stop wasting paper! * keeps rambling*

You: Your birth certificate was a waste of paper!

...........

Person: * Interrupts*

You: Oh i'm sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of your sentence?

...........

Person: *Glares*

You: I was going to give you a dirty look..... but it seems like you already have one.

.......

You: Says something mean

................

Person: sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

You: * throws dictionary at them* how's that for words hurting you!

Person: Did it hurt?

You: what hurt.

Person: When you fell from heaven.

You: I dug my way up from hell.

Person: Oh..... Well this is awkward

................

Person: Oh really if girls are better than girls than why did God make them?

You: Simple, everyone needs a rough draft before a final copy.

................

You: Mom, your not funny you never make jokes!

Mom: I made you.