shit. i fucked up. big time. i was so depressed and mad about the whole Shay thing that i went to a party. yup, a high school party. one with alcohol. and guys. and everything else at those parties. so anyway, i got completely wasted. and me wasted is not cool. i get dumb. really dumb. so i kinda lost my v-card with a random guy. i know, i'm so shamed of myself! i'm not the hopeless romantic who wants my first time to be special and perfect and the whole i have to be in love with the guy, but i would have liked to know his name at least. but i don't. so i'm just another girl who lost her virginity to another face-less and name-less guy. i feel so accomplished in life. FUCK. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!?!?!?!? my grandma is going to KILL me if she finds out! oh my god. what if i'm..., no, i'm not. i'll be fine. okay. whew. shit. i can't. i'm gonna freak. i need to go. SHIT FUCK DAMNIT MOTHERFUCKER ASSHOLE UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm screwed. ha. fucking puns. shit. no. damnit. i need to go watch NETFLIX. shit. i can't even do this shit anymore. goodbye. maybe write later.

k.a.t.
(a girl who has been fucked and doesn't even know how it was because she was fucking shit-faced drunk)