Chapter 56

Josh painstakingly ate his burger and then I drove him back to my house, and let him sleep in his room.

I almost had to carry him to his bed, he was so out of it.

Josh was a lot more useless than me when he was sleep-deprived.

After that, I kinda debated for a little while, and decided to call the cavalry, so that was how, I ended up a few hours later standing by the door to Josh's room peeking in.

"Maybe we should just let him sleep," I mumbled, with a bit of a guilty face. This had felt like a good idea before, but not seeing him still sound asleep, I was second guessing my idea.

"Yeah, you said he was tired. Maybe we should just let him sleep," Lexi agreed, a hand on my arm.

"Fuck. That. You didn't make us drive all the way here for nothing," Tyler replied from the back, and kind of just parted us, walking into the room and threw himself on top of Josh's sleeping figure.

My girlfriend and I just looked at each other, and shrugged, before joining the youngest Grayson in the human pile.

Josh let out mumbled whining sound. "Whyyyy am I being attaaaaacked?" he groaned.

"Emotional support smothering," Tyler simply explained.

"Mmhm," Josh just kind of replied, while we were just kind of piled up on top of him. And then, "This is kind of nice."

"It brings the same comfort that a straitjacket does," Tyler agreed.

"Are you insinuating I'm crazy?" Josh asked, clearly not surprised by the comment.

"You said it. I didn't," Tyler said.

"Did you call them?" Josh said, the question directed to me.

"I figured you'd enjoyed the company," I replied.

"I enjoyed sleeping," Josh pointed out.

"You can keep sleeping," Tyler replied, and kind of pushed Josh's face further into his pillow.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Josh whined, trying to slap him away, but failing miserably. "Is there an actual point to this rude awakening?"

"We're here to cheer you up," Lexi replied in a cheerful tone.

"Then let me sleep."

"Don't you want to go out? Potentially vandalize public property," I asked in a tone you'd use for a kid.

"I can't vandalize property anytime I feel down. I'd destroy the whole town," Josh said in a surprising show of maturity.

"What do you want to do then?" Lexi asked my best friend.

"What is it you do when you're down Blake? Sit in the cemetery?" Josh asked, "Maybe I should start doing that, but like the Mary Shelley version of hanging out at a cemetery."

"You want to be Frankenstein?" Lexi asked, a little confused.

"No, I want to lose my virginity on top of my mother's grave," Josh replied deadpan, and I kind of just blinked slowly, discouraged.

"I'm entirely confused," Tyler pointed out.

"Also, pretty sure the virginity boat has sailed for you," I added.

Josh gasped in faux horror. "Hearsays! Defamation of character!"

"So? What are we doing? I thought I was finally going to be taken to spray paint a billboard," Tyler said.

I had mentioned that this was sort of my plan. When I was down, this was usually Josh's go to way to fix it. I had assumed it would work for him. Apparently, it didn't hold the same appeal to him.

"I don't know about what you guys are going to do, but I am going to stay in bed, and sleep until I'm transported into an alternate universe," Josh said before hiding his face under a pillow.

"That doesn't feel super proactive as a way to deal with your problems," Lexi said softly.

"I'll take your opinion into consideration," Josh mumbled.

"Do you want to go beat some clay?" I asked, trying to think of another way to blow off some steam. "I'm pretty sure I have some left in my shack."

Josh's head popped up from under the pillow. "I could beat some clay..."

"Yeah? Alright, let's go beat some clay," I replied softly.

"Okay," Josh replied, in a small voice.

Tyler made a face. "You guys are really not hearing yourselves right now? Foul."

"Lexi, sweetheart, be a doll, and kick your brother, will you?" Josh told my girlfriend.

And because Josh was going through it, Lexi indulged him, kicking her little brother, to his utter dismay.

He threw a fit, and the Graysons' started to hit each other while we all got out of bed. They stopped fighting when Josh walked out of the room.

Our little group headed outside and then to my painting shack. I'd gotten clay not too long ago because I wasn't that good at sculpting so I had wanted to work on it. It was a good thing. Now Josh had something to throw around, to channel his anger.

After opening the door to the small shed, I let everyone in and then head for the corner where I had left the clay.

I took the clay out of the plastic container, unwrapping it from the damp cotton towel and plastic bag, and then set it on the table in front of Josh. "Go at it."

Lexi and Tyler were sitting on the bed, backs leaning against the wall. I joined them, sitting beside my Pumpkin, leaning my head against her shoulder. She slipped her hand into mine.

Josh grabbed the block of clay and threw it against the table. Hard. Picked it up again. Threw it again. The impact was louder.

He did it, over and over again, looking slightly enraged.

"Should we say something?" Lexi whispered.

"Nah, we should let him work this out," Tyler replied, and then shouted at Josh, "YOU'RE DOING GREAT BABY!" with two thumbs up.

I shook my head. "Jesus..."

Josh grabbed fistful of clay, pulling it from the big pile, and threw it at Tyler, who caught it right before it hit him smack in the face.

Josh ignored us again and just threw the clay with more and more force, and in other circumstances, I would have told him to chill and give the clay some chance, but I stayed quiet.

He probably needed this right now.

So, we all stayed quiet, letting him work through whatever it was he needed to work through.

Eventually, Josh broke the silence, after throwing the clay on the table forcefully. "Sometimes I wish I didn't have a dad," Josh said softly, almost like he was whispering it to himself so no one else would hear.

"And sometimes I wished I didn't have a mom. Aren't we just the perfect pairing," Tyler replied automatically.

Josh snorted, a grim grin on his face.

Seeing Josh like this, and feeling like there was nothing I could do to make things better, made me realize what Josh had to go through anytime I'd been in one of my moods.

I hated the helplessness.

He must have hated it too.

I felt like I hadn't done enough to support him. I hadn't been a good enough friend. I hadn't been a good enough brother, albeit a fake one.

After everything Josh had done for me, I should have been there for him. I should know what to say. I should know what to do.

"You know what still fucking gets to me? I didn't get to eat dinner! The only reason why I even agreed to go to dinner was because I was promised my step mother's food, and I didn't even get to eat any of it," Josh ranted.

Honestly, I didn't understand why his step mom, or Catherine hadn't stepped in and tried to calm down his father, or at least stand up for Josh.

Why was it that Josh never mentioned the fact that anyone stepped up for him against his father?

For maybe the millionth time I wondered how different things would have been if my brother had still been here. Jayden hated Josh's dad. He would have been the kind to actually kill him and bury him in the backyard.

Jayden would have stepped up for him.

And now, I should step up for him.

"They're bound to have leftovers. Want us to go grab some?" I offered.

Josh didn't say anything, but I felt like this was interesting to him.

To cover my bases, I took my phone out of my pocket and texted his half sister. Do you have some left over Thanksgiving food in your fridge right now?

Josh started to throw the clay around again.

She replied a couple of minutes later. A very odd, question, but yes we do.

Josh and I are going to come steal some of it. Where's your father? I texted back, shamelessly.

Out with some friends. Catherine replied.

Good. We'll be there in twenty. Stay clear of the entry and the kitchen.

Alright. Is Josh okay? she wrote. It was cute that she was acting like she suddenly cared.

Josh is most definitely not okay. I replied, not sugarcoating it.

Is there anything I can do? She asked.

Part of me wanted to be mean. Part of me wanted to tell her that she should have been siding with her brother, that she should have stuck by his side and confronted her father. But I wasn't in her shoes. And ultimately, it was useless. The damage was already done. Just stay clear of the entry and the kitchen. And tell me if your father suddenly appears.

I put the phone back in my pocket and got up. Lexi had seen the exchange of texts, so she got up too, understanding what was happening.

"Come on Josh, leave the clay, we're going to get your food."

Josh pressed the clay against the table. "Seriously?"

I nodded, resolved. "Yeah. You deserve that food, so we're going to go get it now."

Tyler jumped on his feet behind us. "Finally, something illegal."

Lexi frowned, looking back at her brother. "What?"

The youngest Grayson shrugged. "Breaking and entering is illegal."

"Getting food from his parents' house isn't exactly the crime of the century," my girlfriend pointed out.

Tyler faked gagged. "My gross gross sister is being a party pooper again."

"Dumbass."

I clapped my hands together, trying to get everyone's attention, and back in order. "Come on, less arguing, more walking to the car."

Josh didn't seem convinced. "I'm not sure I want to go back to the house."

"I'll be there this time," I assured him.

My best friend just stared at me, but then finally said, "Alright. Let's all get arrested together then."

We all got into my car, and drove to his parents' house. It wasn't too far from my own, so Josh didn't have time to back out of this ridiculous idea of mine.

"You guys stay in the car, we're going it," I told Lexi and yler sitting in the back seat.

"Great, ready to drive away at full speed if you get caught," Tyler replied.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You don't have a license, you're not driving my car."

Tyler rolled his eyes "Party pooper, just like my sister."

I rolled my eyes too, and got out of the car with Josh, heading to the house, trying to be sneaking like we were actual burglars.

The front door wasn't locked, so it was easy to get in.

Josh stopped at the entry, getting ready to take his shoes off, like he usually would, but then I saw the resolve in his eyes.

Another show of rebellion.

He kept his shoes on and headed to the kitchen.

I followed him, trying not to make too much noise.

I was glad Catherine at listened to me.

We headed to the kitchen and found the Tupperware full of leftovers easily reachable, and all gathered together.

We probably had Catherine to thank for that.

And I guessed Josh realized this, because there was half a smile when he saw it. "Shit, I didn't bring a bag," he whispered.

"It's fine, we have arms," I replied, and started to grab containers, pilling them in Josh's hands.

We grabbed everything we could, and then headed back out.

As we were getting out of the house, Josh's father's car was parking in the drive way.

Josh froze for a second, and then broke into a sprint, almost throwing himself in the car, "Drive, drive, drive!" he said, but Lexi and Tyler were still in the back, useless.

I got in the car at the same time that Josh's father got out of his, and drove away in a hurry, everyone screaming to go, go, go.

Once we were a few blocks away, and we all kind of laughed.

"This felt utterly too clandestine for what it actually was," Josh said with a humourless chuckle.

"Want us to go back and leave a horse's head in his bed, so it feels more serious?" Tyler offered.

"Nah, it's fine," he said, and then looked down at the Tupperware in his hands and smiled. "Thanks Blake."

I smiled back at him. "Anytime Josh."

_______________

Happy Tuesday my little Pumpkins. :')

Sorry, this chapter comes in late because I hadn't had time to write it. Usually I have chapters written in advances, but... well July has been kicking my ass.

I am... exhausted. And overwhelmed. Like. Yeah. I think things will be okay now that I've done all the things I had to do in July... but yeah... God, I'm like... out of it. I haven't been able to write. I've been too tired. Too out of it. And uninspired because of that. Like, my head is empty. I need like two days in a row where I have nothing planned, where I can just wake up anytime, and just sit down calmly at my computer.

I think I need another vacation. :') My friend found like a bunch of white hairs in my head yesterday. My body is slowly starting to fail me. :')

The heat is reaaaaaally not helping either. I'm losing my mind over it, honestly. I hate it when it's warm. I reaaaaally hate it. I don't think I like summer. Not if I don't have a pool. If it's summer without a pool, I am not interested. 

Alright. Complaining over. Next week, I should assume the chapter is gonna be up, because it's written. I'll schedule the post right now!

Thanks for being patient! See you all next week! <3