why am i always
trying so hard
for people who
just pick me apart?

thunder under my bed
when i whisper to myself
late at night
"what do i like?"

do i like when i get hurt?
do i like getting ignored?
do i like when all the
promises get broken?

well, the truth is i don't
so why do i keep
finding broken records
underneath my feet?

why do i keep on fighting
for the people
who wouldn't do
the same for me?

why do i make
my summer nights
so miserable when
i could be asleep?

all the way
all alone in my apartment
watching stupid streams
would probably make me happy

than wondering where you are
what are you doing?
who are you doing?
how could i let it get this far?

i'm such an idiot
and i hate it
i should stop talking to myself
in such a bad way

but i think she deserves
the punishment for some reason
i do need therapy
you don't have to tell me

the truth is
i'm comfortable
being on the ground

because every time i got up
and tried so hard to fix it all
and get it together
i failed, i failed

i always failed
or maybe life failed me
the stars never align
when i try
so i don't wanna try anymore

i guess i'm tired
i guess i'm sore
i guess i'm no longer
as strong as i was before